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Chapter 3

I stepped out of the bathroom in black jeans and a dark grey shirt, my fur still a little wet from the shower. I sat down on the couch and stared at the blank TV screen as I ran it all through my head.

I'm stupid, that's for sure.

_ So what if I already had sex?_

_ I'm sixteen, tons of other sixteen and seventeen year olds have sex, right?_

_ I mean, I can name four right now that had._

_ And I've overheard the normal freaks on the other side of the social spectrum talk about doing it._

_ But I still did it._

_ And with two people who I wouldn't go as far as to say I necessarily love them._

_ Or that I see myself in the future with either of them._

_ God, I'm a loser..._

_ Wanting to only fuck the person I end up with, alongside wanting to kiss that one person only._

_ I don't get it, I should just get over myself and be okay with doing it with other people._

_ But what if I hurt them?_

_ I won't hurt them._

_ But then again..._

_ Why was Logan so worried?_

_ Not like I have AIDS._

_ Do I?_

_ No, AIDS hurts... Doesn't it?_

_ Maybe it doesn't._

_ No, I'm fine._

_ Then why was Logan so worried?_

_ Did mom have AIDS?_

_ Psh, no, dad's smarter than that._

_ But maybe he didn't know._

_ I'm being ridiculous, I don't have AIDS._

_ But there's other things than AIDS..._

_ No._

_ I am Fyodor Iverson._

_ And I do not have an STD._

_ ..._

_ Then how could I_ hurt somebody just by sticking my dick in them?

_ Maybe I haven't been circumcised, that's a thing, right?_

_ No..._

_ There are people who prefer uncut dicks anyways, so it obviously doesn't hurt them._

_ Then again, there's also people who get off to being beat and hurt._

_ That scares me._

_ I hope I'm not someone like that._

_ No, I'm not._

_ If it scares me, than I'm not._

_ But then again, Corbin likes to be scared despite not being able to handle it._

_ And Logan likes to scare Corbin despite_ knowing_that he can't handle it._

_ But it doesn't matter, I've never even jacked off in my life, so I don't have fetishes!_

_ ..._

_ I'm an idiot!_

_ Why would that mean I don't have fetishes?_

_ Fucking brain..._

_ It just means I don't_ know my fetishes.

_ I probably have really stupid and perverse ones too..._

_ I guess everyone probably has at least one fetish._

_ They probably just hide it because it's embarrassing._

_ But some fetishes are common._

_ I bet-_Logan tapped my shoulder and gestured for me to follow him. I got up off the couch and followed him into his and Corbin's bedroom, and he had me sit down on the bed.

"Fyodor, how do you feel?"

"Huh?"

"How do you feel? After all you heard this morning and what happened last night, how do you feel?"

"I... I don't know. Stupid? Slutty? Worthless-"

"Okay. Good."

"Good? Why is that a good thing?"

"Fyod, you're not a normal person. There's a lot of things about your parents that you don't know, and quite frankly don't want to know. I don't know most of it, but I've learned enough that there's a lot of pieces missing."

"What are you talking about? Why shouldn't I feel good about-"

"Okay, that part's just because you've got a mutt's cock and you can actually hurt some people. The first time I did it with Corbin I made him bleed, and it was the kind of thing that made me hate myself."

"I... I didn't know-"

"It's okay, his body adjusted after he used some toys and more lubricant." He sat down on the bed next to me and put his arm over my shoulder, "Fyodor, I'm sorry that you can't remember having your virginity taken, but I had the same problem. Granted, I was a bit younger-"

"Younger? I thought you didn't hook up with Corbin until you were in college."

"Oh please, you think grandpa actually knows what all I did in middle school?"

"Middle school?"

"Yup. James Wilson was quite the horny otter mutt. His mom was an otter and ferret mix, but his dad was an otter and zebra mix. The boy's dick was so big that half of it never even entered my body, and I screamed in pain before he got his ring in."

"Ring?"

"Oh, right, you don't watch porn. Equines have longer, thicker dicks with a ring halfway along the shaft. No knots, but the thickness is enough. I actually measured his dick afterwards and found it three inches in diameter, and he hadn't hit his growth spurts yet. At our graduation party he tried boring down on me and I'm sure I'd be dead from a busted stomach if I hadn't been hiding huge toys from my parents."

"Uhh... what does this have to do with me?"

"Oh, well after both times I felt like a slut for wanting it but simultaneously felt like a wimp for not being able to handle it. His dick was so big that for the rest of the night I just laid on the couch with my butt in the air and wasn't awoken by my other friends boring down on me and apparently shoving a long soda can up my butt."

"That... didn't answer my question."

"Right, sorry, I just kinda wish I could try one more time- Uh, point being, I just want you to know that feeling guilty is normal. At least you don't have to remember your first time."

"Actually, the more I think about it the more I remember. I definitely keep getting images of looking down at Chase looking at Lychinus as they both fuck my ass."

"Oh man, you're a slutty little faggot, aren't you?"

"Not helping..."

"Heh, I'm just kidding. Double penetration is definitely hot."

"That's not helping either."

"Well than why are you in here, go out there and cuddle with your fuck buddies!"

"I'm not in the mood to-"

"Your right, you should be wearing your onesie. Go put it on, then go cuddle with them."

"Logan!"

He raised his voice and preposterously lowered the tone, "Boy, as your father is off on his business trip, I am in charge of you and everything that happens to you, and if you don't go do as told, I'll leave bruises on you that won't heal for months! Git!" He pointed to the door and I rolled my eyes before going out to the living room and grabbing the onesie stuff, my friends giving me concerned looks as I went into the bathroom.

A couple minutes later I came back out and grumpily sat down on the couch. Chase sat down next to me, took my gloved hand in his, and looked me in the eye, "Fyodor, I'm really sorry I did this, I shouldn't have-"

"No, it's okay. It..." I looked away before continuing, "It says a lot about the kind of person I am. I think... I mean, I guess I should learn up on this stuff if it's who I am to embarrass myself-"

"Fyodor, no, you didn't embarrass yourself. Honestly, how do you think I feel? The first chance I get to stuff my dick in someone and I take it? That's pathetic!"

"I... I guess-"

"And then when they tell me to bend over and lift my tail-"

"Wait, I told you to do it?"

"Yeah- I mean, I was horned up, I enjoyed it-"

"No, that's... Argh, I hate myself!"

"Don't! It's not like you were being abusive, just being a good top."

"No..."

He grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me, "Fyodor, it's okay! I enjoyed it."

I lowered my head and leaned into him, my head resting on his shoulder, "I just wish I could remember all of it..."

He put his hand on the mudkip onesie's head, pushing mine into his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tight, "I know... I'm sure you'll remember soon." I nestled my head in his shoulder and let myself drift off, unaware of what things my mind would conjure in my sleep...