Faced...
My mind racing, my heart isn't keeping up...
Faced...
Amid my day, I find my stare continuing, looking away
The love I have is one I feel I know to its end
Even with this somber reality so sure, I find I crave more from just a friend
My hearts pulling when I see her, it brings a tear to my eyes
To have said we wouldn't last happily, hurt me with tear filled lies
She's something I crave to the grave, someone truly in sync with my being
Emotionally, physically, she's all I'm seeing
To fight a feeling stronger then the time & space that separates us now
I feel if we meet alone again, I'll buckle & show what I've wanted, & maybe then, we'd end up together, ...somehow...
I'm but a shell burning in a personal hell, calm, quiet, sincere by sight
Just below my aching heart, there's a reasoning full of meaning refusing to fight
It's not in me, if I do, I'll start from where problem was all too clear
To hold her again would only feed my worst fear
We are planets apart, time making a fool of us just being one
A life long parter I could see, but true compatibility, we have none....
She would take me with such a smile, such a clear wanting for us to work through whatever came our way
Once the love dwindles again, I'll just break another heart, guaranteed one day
I wonder if I will find that person who will leave me no doubt
The one I'll truly refuse to live without
I feel, but in the mirror, I have hesitation on my own actions
I've played a part too long, I wonder if I'm lost in basic satisfactions
Can't remember the last time I cared
Truly into a sight of someone who dared
It's been too long in the shadows of why & how
There really is no doubt.......I'm a monster for now...
Humanity is just a definition well known, played in such a motion, the real actions match with such a lack of hesitation
I've skilled the thrills of controlling ones own possible interpretation....
I've peeked, my place is where I dreamed it would be
All I had to do, was lose my way, & forget about.....me......
.....I'm tired of being in a somewhat perfect place
...I passed dreams....I've lost the lust in giving chase...
Money's fine, bills, no concern
love..... loves...... I have so many, waiting, willing, so many bridges I can burn....
With a blink , the flames dancing merge into one once more
A look past them, & I remember the not so distant sea shore
I'll find it again......the want, the need for something beyond what I can foresee
To back away from my shadow so unfamiliar, I'll remember choices on the brink of who I am, & more over what I can still be...
---Thanks for reading---
---Always---