The Diaries

Story by Elian93 on SoFurry

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#17 of Short Stories

This is the longest short story I've ever written and it's far emotional and physical so sorry if there aren't so many physical descriptions :) THe short story is about the malamute Clint and the hybrid Ventus where both have written their own repsective diaries which both will make an important impact on those two! Feedbacks are welcome!


I sat there, my whole back relaxing against the wall behind, with my book wide open and just listened to my best pal's piano play; it was simply beautiful. Every time he came to a part of the play that I whole-heartedly enjoyed the most, he would glance at me and smile with the most honest smile I had ever seen. The smile was there for a good reason; when the best part started from the very starting key I would lay back my head and close my eyes, imagining making the play into reality with a world or a realm that would fit the play, in this case, a relaxing day like Sunday. For that matter, heh, my heartbeat also quickened when I felt his glance was upon me but I was sure he did not notice this revealing breathing. We were both in the library of the school where the piano was placed at a corner, and I usually sat by the right hand at the right wall with built-in benches. I've been in love with my best pal for some years now... quite classic, huh? I had no problem with it whatsoever because we were always together when it came to subjects in school, breaks, free time and even at homes doing homework or just do silly games.

My name was Clint and I was a malamute. For my specie, I was thinner than normal but still had a touch of strong built body and the classic fluffy fur. I was not so sure about my height anymore since I was in a middle of a growing period. My trademark had to be the four-pointed, horizontal and vertical, white star on my forehead and my sensitive tail... yeah; we can have sensitive limbs, okay?

Every time he played my favourite pieces I always longed to sit by him and lay my head upon his shoulders and watch his fingers go all spidy on the piano keys.

His name was Ventus and was a hybrid between a sled dog and a wolf; both species were quite authoritative and respectful. A plus for me was that he was one of the sensitive people, hence the intense and emotional piano playing, abnormal for his kind. His trademark had to be the cross star on his chest and his sensitive fingers, figures. Since he was a hybrid, his fur was mixed with rough and even parts, mostly rough from what I had felt so far.

I was reading my favourite book, and yeah, I like lovey-dovey books that mostly did not seem to care about except for Ventus. This interest was amongst one of many of our common interests but on the other hand, we did have some point of view upon our common interests that were different from one another, giving the beneficial diversity in our close friendship. Of course, I was reading my favourite part of the book (where the crush kisses the protagonist), and he knew it. I could hear it because he played that part so wonderfully well... you could say our synchronization was right on point.

"Are you sure you do not want to be my apprentice?" asked Ventus out of seemingly nowhere, interrupting the play and my imagining, irritated me slightly.

I sighed, indulged a smiled, and finally looked at him; he had turned his back to the piano and viewed me directly which always made me nervous.

"I've already told many times, Ventus, I am a mass made of idiotism when it comes to motoric skills" I replied and closed the book with my forefinger still on the page.

"Aw, come on! It wouldn't hurt to at least try" he exclaimed and raised his hands open, made an all-inspirational and welcoming gesture.

I sighed again, this time unnoticed, and continued to view my crush, wished that my story could be like the books I've read so far; all the classic fall in love, fight the evil and get the happy ending.

_ "What would you do when I would suddenly kiss you? What would you do when I would suddenly hug you tightly? What would you do when I would lay my head on your thigh and just looked up to you? What do I do with all warming and melting feelings I have towards you? What would you do when you realize that your best friend is in love with you for such a long time?"_ I always asked those questions silently to myself when I suddenly not able to contain all of his kindness and my love to him, forced me to look away from him for a moment even though our furs covered our skin colour.

"Hey! Are you daydreaming again, Clint?" Ventus grinned. I guess we were that close that he knew when I daydreamed, and I usually daydream about many things. He knew most of them, but certainly not those questions I continually asked myself about him, questions I dearly wanted to ask him, questions I wanted answers to but was too afraid to find out.

"Yes, Ventus" I forbearingly replied but still did not want to look directly at him yet.

"This time, is it about that you want to be as good as me to play the piano?" teased Ventus and started to play only the melody without the bass whence he stopped without looking at the piano.

I smiled truly, truly, when he teased me. I could not help it and my heart enjoyed the whole of it.

"I guess" I replied and finally took a view upon him. He was swaying his tail back and forth in a slow fashion, which only I in the whole school knew what meant; he was having a wonderful time.

No matter what I did I guess I could not resist showing some little but endearing passion for him being with me much of the time. What are you doing, Clint? You could just say yes to his offer and get closer to him. Take the step and do it!

"Um, Ventus...?" I laid the bookmark on the page and set it aside.

"Yes, Clint?" Ventus stopped playing, gave his whole attention to me.

"You can teach me how to play piano" I walked over to him and my heartbeat quickened even further when I saw the expression on his sweet face when he progressed the answer fully.

"Awesome! Let's start right away," he said enthusiastically.

Apparently, I was a quick learner to play the piano, which Ventus was so glad and relieved about, praised me so many times during his lessons. I did not regret one bit that I took the step finally to be his apprentice but would he be okay with me if came to find out that I loved him?

One day later

I did not know who to speak to about my love towards Ventus but I really wanted for so long to relieve this. In the end, I could not find anyone I truly trusted so I decided just to write a diary about it. It was not as relieving as speaking to another person about it, far from that, even though I did not share anything with anyone except for Ventus and my parents. He was my closest friend after all, and I did not want to risk that this secret would be exposed through gossip, for who wants to hear this powerful and intimate information from a third party?

I wrote what I could muster about my feelings for Ventus and I was surprised how much it filled pages upon pages, well, I guess the innermost and warmest feelings did fill so vastly inside one's heart.

I was sitting in class, writing my emotions on the pages, filling them with imaginations of being with the one you loved so dearly, and as I would say, these imaginations were nearly endless. For you who wondered how I could write about my feelings without worrying about anyone else peeking into the precious descriptions, I was considered as a person who was accepted in my class but not included to any kind of social activities. I had nothing against it since my relation to my classmates was nearly non-existent. You would wonder how I came to have such a close friendship with Ventus and how it happened.

I stopped writing in the diary and began to remember our first encounter:

I was sitting in the library and was reading another book about love. For your information, the book had been filmed, and of course, it did not showed the full content of the book, which I inevitably got disappointed by. On the other hand, the music in the movie was unbelievably memorable and I prioritized the soundtrack of a movie nearly as much as the story, if not more. Suddenly, the love theme melody of the movie was played in library and I could not stop from looking at the piano. There he was, the rough canine, sitting on the piano for the first time and looked to be slightly unsecure about his play. His play was not the best, by fair reasons, but I still sat there and enjoyed his performance. As he was about to finish the theme a bully came by and began to disturb him by first tab on the keys randomly, destroying the performance to my annoyance. Then he began to take his sheets he played by and at this point he began to stand up against this rascal

_ "Please, stop it" mumbled Ventus with an insecure voice._

_ "You're just a crossbreed, a bastard!" exclaimed the bully and began to push Ventus when he finally recovered his sheets_

_ Apparently, some of the bully's friends watched from the first floor of the library and cheered him up with insults. At this point, I whole-heartedly wanted to help him because of empathy and sympathy to this, at this time, complete stranger even though I probably would make some unwanted enemies. When Ventus had been pushed down to the ground, I went over and said:_

_ "I would mind the bullying if I were you! And why are you doing this?" I stood beside Ventus and looked firmly at the assaulter._

_ "Do you even have to ask? He's freaking bastard! And why do you bother?"_

_ I really despite the idea of acting hostile on the reason of having a crossbreed origin, or generally having an origin that was different from oneself. I helped Ventus on his feet and it seemed that the bully became slightly demotivated to keep on bullying when there was now two against one. Unfortunately, the bully's confidence did not decrease since he had supporters whom began to go down to the ground floor to participate in this incidence. In my rash action, I simply forgot that important factor and felt the fear of making official multiple enemies at once, which I deliberately avoided in my time in this school._

_ As we were about to face some unpleasant pushes and punches and the ultimate humiliation, the Headmaster of the school showed up and halted the upcoming commotion, warned the bullies with detentions. My heart felt relieved but at the same time, I knew that I had made some enemies. In the end, it did not matter at that situation. After I thanked the Headmaster, I turned to the rough canine and finally took a good look at him and asked, "Are you okay?"_

_ "Yeah, I guess," he replied "Thank you for... helping me"_

_ "You're welcome. So... what hybrid are you if I may ask?" I asked carefully._

_ "I'm a sled dog and wolf hybrid. The name's Ventus" he stretched out his hand for a handshake._

_ "Ventus? That's a rare name. I'm Clint, nice to meet you" I answered the handshake mildly and added spontaneously "I recognized the theme and... I love it"_

_ "You do? Here I thought I was the only one to admit it. How come you know it?"_

_ "Well, please don't judge me on this but... I really enjoy reading love books, and since the book was so good I wanted to see the film and that's why..."_

_ We went over where I sat before and I took the book from the table._

_ "I see you're reading another love book. If not too much of a spoiler, it's a very good one" he commented._

_ "You like love books too?" I was surprised for reasons I did not know._

_ He nodded and smiled slightly. I continued, "So far, it's good, yes" and finally looked directly into his eyes; they were bright blue._

_ "Do you want to hear the melody again from the beginning?" he asked suddenly, walked over to the piano and sat down._

_ "I would love to"_

The bell rang and the class assembled to another subject of the day. I laid the diary in my school bag and returned into the real world.

3 months later

I turned out to be a fine pianist, not as good as Ventus, even though he insisted on it. I did take the length of playing piano into consideration where he had been playing for years whereas I had played for 3 months. He had taught me some pieces from love movies, which was not as awkward I expected it to be... it was very natural, for some reason. Nonetheless, we had some wonderful time together.

This time around, I was not so much able to write more down in the diary about my feelings towards Ventus but instead I read it through alone time to time, reimagining the beautiful illusions with him and me together.

We had both agreed to learn a new piece together, alternately, after we got free from school. I was excited and nervous, since this would be our first time learning a piece together: it was a piece for two to play, in other words, duet.

Ventus was already sitting at the piano and waited for me. My heart was filling with joy and happiness and I was unable not to give an honest smile when I saw his own excitement and expectations, expressed with his own honesty that I simply loved so much about him. Because of this, he began to play my favourite love theme. For some reason, I enjoyed it far better when he played it instead of me. Maybe because I adored listening to his way of playing it, his way of expressing all the pieces he knew and the pieces I could play. I could not imagine not being happier than what I was now which made me want to write it down in the diary.

"Hey Clint," he started, still playing "I hope you're looking forward to this as I am"

One of the few things I was not able to do was to do what he was doing; talking whilst playing, which was one of the reasons I considered him to be better than me.

"Maybe even more" I innocently replied and sat down beside him and watched him play.

For 3 months ago, I would not be able to understand how he was able to play it with such accuracy and grace, keeping the tune clean with the pedals and still make it so smooth without interrupting the pace. Now, I understood it fully but was not able to do it as he did, which he continually insisted that I could potentially do better than he could if I were to happen to practice piano as long as he did. I always smiled when he said that and replied with "You're just saying that".

I listened to the piece with closed eyes and felt the Goosebumps when he reached to my favourite part, the climax, imagining him and me embrace each other tightly after a passionate kiss. For so many years, I had restrained myself from acting in such way that would give away my feelings for him, which was exhausting since my heart deeply desired to act on its true feelings.

When he finished the piece, he messed with my hair on my head of which I intentionally had sat up to this situation and said, "Stop daydreaming"

"Hey! Stop it, you silly idiot" I pushed his hand gently away.

"Okay, whatever you say," he said and stopped "Shall we begin?" he took the sheets forth and laid them on sheet holder. It looked difficult for both of us but I guess he would not pick a piece that was way of our league.

We learned the first 30 seconds and it felt that the time flied so incredible fast like all the times he taught me in the 3 months. Each time I accidentally touch his hand I sincerely hoped that he would not discover my love for him, even though it was farfetched.

When we decided to stop for the day for the duet I asked him to play my favourite love theme again, and indeed, he did. At the end of it I could no longer restrain myself from doing an action that I burningly wanted to do for so long; I laid my head on his shoulder. I did not know what to expect but he continued to play normally without a sweat. Why? Why did he not do anything? It was not even weird, not at all. We did not speak about it afterwards for reasons I wanted to know of. I was curious and truly wanted to ask him about it but I did not dare. After our normal depart ritual, I decided to stay behind in the library. I sat down on my usual spot with my heart burning for his presence while galloping so hard that I could feel it on my throat. I laid my hand on my throat and imagined that I l was feeling and listening to Ventus' heart, which made my heart race faster. I looked over where we sat and deliberately hoped that he was there looking at me with his honest smile while he was playing my favourite love theme.

I really want you... I dearly wanted you right now. I wanted you to want me the way I wanted you but I am afraid that it would not be the case. I am so afraid to lose you as a friend but at the same time, I wanted it to be more than just friendship. When you are nearby my heart starts to race as if it want to run far away but would still be at your side to enjoy the sight of you. For years, I had hold myself back and today I acted by my heart and it felt so... natural. Sometimes I deeply wonder if you share the same feelings I have for you, Ventus, but it is frightening to imagine us being apart with ruined relationship, scaring me from doing what I want to do until today, it was different yet so natural.

After I finished writing, I went over to the books in the teenage section where so many love books resided. I went home right after I borrowed a book; felt that I had forgotten something.

One day later

I ran to school when I had found out just in the morning that I had forgotten the diary by the place I used to sit. It must not fall into the wrong hands, at any cost, especially not Ventus', where I came to remember that I intentionally not had written Ventus' name for the reason so he could not find out by accident but yesterday I came to write his name of joy and happiness, maybe also in slight confusion. If anyone were to read the whole diary they would certainly know that I was in love with Ventus and it would go around like wild fire, informing him and possible start my most catastrophic day of my life, easily overcoming my other disasters.

As I entered the library, I instantly looked at my place and saw the diary, lied vulnerably open but was still there where it was forgotten. I was relieved and with fast breathing, I took the diary and put it into my school bag. I was somewhat disappointed, disappointed that nobody found it, especially Ventus. A part of me wanted him to find it and come to know of my love towards him, exposing me fully at his mercy. Yet, it lied in my bag safely where nobody could find out of its precious content.

At the first break at school, I took the diary forth and began to read it again but something was off. The writing looked like mine but from the very first sentence was not the same as I had written the last few months... it was someone else's notebook! Still, it looked like a diary. I could not resist reading it:

He was my ideal partner, simple as that.

He? So... it was probably a girl's diary for I did not know any other gay male furs, or at least bisexual furs, in this school other than me, not that I knew of. There were some lesbians but they were obviously not interested in males. I went on:

For so long I wanted him to know what I felt for him. Often I want to hug him out of nowhere and let him know that I loved him so much.

_ _It must had been a girl for who the hell wrote about their feelings as I did? I laughed silently for myself. I read it through and felt guilty but now knew that someone in this school was deeply in love with someone as I was in love with Ventus but there were no names in it.

The whole day I had waited for Ventus to start playing the piano so I could enjoy the music while thinking whom it could be who had written this diary. For a short moment, my heart made me think that I would be Ventus but I quickly shook it off since I had known him for ages and he would not write such intimate things as I did. If he did, he would certainly not take my diary and replace it with my own. My dear naïve heart, you are just being silly.

At the end of the school day I began to worry about Ventus; I did not see him anywhere I went and he usually were at the places I usually used to be but no, he was nowhere to be found. Furthermore, he had not played piano the whole day, which was incredibly weird, made the whole school silent in a whole day. If he had become sick he would had informed me as the first thing in the morning through phone call, or at least leave a message.

My heart wanted to know his whereabouts and nobody would blame me, for we were best friends. When I was about to go home and was at the entrance of the school, I could hear a distinctive sound from the piano, playing the part of Ventus' in the duet we were currently practising. I instantly rushed to the library and stopped up completely when I saw Ventus. Questions arose and there were many of them.

"Ventus?" I asked stupidly which he obviously did not respond to, "Ventus, where have you been? I was worried si-"

I stopped talking as soon I saw a notebook that looked like mine and the one I had found at this morning whose owner was unknown even though it was mostly written with my style of writing. More questions arose: What if it is my diary? Has he read it if it is? What has he been doing all day? Why is he playing our duet alone?

I stood there, frozen, not knowing what to do other than asking these questions inside my head, which only confused me more. The part he has learned so far was played perfectly and it was simply beautiful, even on its own. When he finished he looked at me with an expression I had not seen before; relief.

As I regained my ability to walk I slowly walked over to him with my heart pounding like a mad wolf on the run. As soon as I was right beside the piano, I looked directly into his blue eyes and what I could see they were filled with tears that were yet to be cried out.

"I think this is yours, Clint," he softly said with a voice I never heard before and pushed the notebook towards me. I started to panic for unknown reasons when I saw my own writing on the front page "It was as reading a wish come true" he finally added, which confused me even more.

I did not understand anything at all: what was he had read that was like a wish come true?

Ventus could apparently see my confusion and smile an honest smile but a different smile "Come and sit, Clint" he pat on the other site of the bench where there could just be another fur to sit.

I did as he said and sat beside him, wanting to flee to anywhere than this place whereas my heart wanted to find out what this was all about.

Out of nowhere, he took my hand with his own and softly placed his other left hand on my left cheek and kissed me so softly and gently. My inside turned to jelly and halfway through the kiss I just went with the flow and closed my eyes out of passion. I felt my breathing became controlled but still breathed heavily. I was in a place where I which I never ever wanted to exit.

He slowly retrieved his muzzle and instead we laid our foreheads together where we both shed some tears.

"Ventus... I don't... understand" I managed to say.

"Look at the diary... it's yours" I looked at the diary again and this time I was certain it was mine.

"Whose diary is it then, the one I have?" I asked stupidly even though I clearly knew whose it was but asked anyway just to be certain.

"It's mine, silly" he replied, "Yesterday, when you went home I forgot some sheets at the piano and went back. As I was about to go home I just barely saw that you had forgot something and wanted it to pick it up and go to your place to give it back to you but... when I saw it was a diary I could not resist to read it"

Like I could not resist reading this diary, which is yours.

"I was nearly heartbroken when I saw that you was in love with someone but at the end of it, my name was written and I came to realize that we love each other passionately. We've been in love in each other for years without making the move, a move we were too afraid to make, too afraid of the rejection, too afraid to break our bond"

I listened to the words very carefully and felt my world being embraced and loved by the one I had crush on. I hugged him tightly and said "Ventus..."

He laid his left hand on my hair and stroke it and continued:

"Now, after we've read each other diaries it is clear as day that we are meant for each other..."

"Oh, Ventus!" I whispered.

We hugged and embraced each other for some time even though some furs walked past us without commenting on it. Luckily, there were no bullies and as we were finished with our embrace, the Headmaster appeared from the corner.

"Ah, there you are!" he said with a great smile and went over to us, "we began to worry about you two when we nearly had a whole day with you two playing"

"Oh, sorry about that..." I replied flurried.

"Would it be too much to ask of you two if you could play the duet?"

"Right now?" said Ventus surprised as I was.

"Yes, it would be a pleasure since it is a piece I adore so much. You are welcome to refuse"

We looked at each other, dried our eyes, and began to play the duet. Even though I had not practise that much on it, we played the beginning perfectly and to my surprise I could play further than Ventus. When we finished the part we reached to the Headmaster had apparently sat down and had his eyes closed. I guessed he imagined a realm like I used to when I listened to Ventus' play back 3 months ago. Right before the headmaster opened his eyes, Ventus licked me on my cheek and I blushed internally.

"Wonderfully played, you two" commented the Headmaster "I remember when only one of you used to play the piano but now, when you two play together, it is even more perfect!"

We thanked the Headmaster for the comment and as the Headmaster was about to leave, Ventus went over to him and said:

"If it weren't for you we would not have been playing together right now"

"Oh, is that so?" he replied very surprised and replaced his glasses, followed with a look that seemed to ask a question for himself.

"Yes, indeed, and we thank you dearly for that, sir" he finally said and after he had given a handshake, which seemed to confuse the Headmaster slightly more, he went back to me and hugged me tightly from behind. I laid my hands on his arms.

"Young'uns nowadays" the Headmaster shook his head with a smile and went back to his office.

We stayed in the school until we learned the duet completely.

At that time, we were then bound to be together as lovers.