FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

2.

My headset never sat well with horns. It was an issue I knew would only get worse as they grew. Yes, I could file them like a lot of dragons do, but they would just grow back, leaving me in an endless cycle of inconvenience. Might as well adjust now rather than later.

I shifted them back into place, "what was that, Dale?"

I heard him sigh. His Paladin cast down fiery rain on the pack of demons that stood between us and the treasure chest. "I asked, if you're so bothered by Trent, why not just tell him you're not interested?"

I glanced at my phone, staring at me from the charger. Guilt flushed my scales. "I said he was annoying. I didn't say I wasn't interested." Wait, when this become about being interested? "This isn't about that. He just wants to be friends."

I listened to ram snicker. His paladin flooded my monitor with flashes of light as he cut a path through the forces of darkness. I clicked a few times, setting my cleric to work sprinkling the demon goo with holy water to stop them from respawning. Demons were stubborn that way.

"From what you told me," Dale said, "it really sounds like he wants more than friendship."

I bit my lip. Dale was the closest thing I had to a best friend, and I'd never met him outside of the computer. I didn't like what he had to say, but I had to yield to his superior knowledge of socialization. "Should I text him? It's getting late, and I'll see him at work tomorrow."

I leaned back in my chair, pressing my palms to my dry eyes and yawning.

Trent... My lazy, annoying, infuriatingly hot coworker.

I'm not much of a physical specimen. I've been told many times that I'm too emotionally distant. But I'm not a robot. I've checked. If Trent wants to start anything, it'll hurt me when it's over. And eventually, everything does end.

"Valmick," Dale yelled. "Need some healing!"

Oops! I should have been watching. Dale's Paladin,Sir Roxxor Ram, was surrounded by the zombified bodies of former adventurers. I clicked furiously, giving us both healing auras, courtesy of the Great Sky Pixel. That was a close one.

"Head in the game, Valmick. The guild needs these coins."

"Coins? I thought the chest held mana potions."

The ram was silent for a moment. Neither one of our characters used mana that much, and I began to think Dale was really just after his cut of the coins. He'd been saving up for an implausible diamond cape. He was probably hoping for some quick cash. "Well. Fancy a trip to the town market after we clear the dungeon?"

"I wish I could, but I-"

"Need to call Trent," Dale interjected.

"-go to work tomorrow," I finished.

"Aw, c'mon. We can stop in the tavern and pick up some vixens of easy virtue."

"Dale, that's not much of an enticement." I'm always amused that despite being on his way to a law degree, and apart from bouts of trivial forgetfulness, the one thing he never seemed to commit to memory was that I gay. I mean, honestly, we were just talking about my lack of a love life in regards to a pushy wolf!

"Oh, right. You know most of them are really male, in real life?"

I laughed. "Sounds like a fun and confusing time, but I really do have a job that I'd like to keep."

Eventually we triumphed over the forces of evil, Dale making his way to sell an obscene amount of mana bottles, and me heading back to reality.

***

My apartment seemed too empty after closing the game and taking off my headphones. That phone kept looking at me. Since Friday evening I'd spent an unhealthy amount of time dwelling on all the hypothetical outcomes of making contact with Trent.

What if I called and he expected me to carry the conversation? That wasn't going to happen. What if I text and he sends me a dick-pic in return? Unlikely, but I like to be prepared for every possibility. There were just too many unknowns

I got up and walked to my bathroom, avoiding the mirror in there. I always did my best thinking in my bathroom. My pre-bed rituals bordered on compulsive, but I looked at it as a routine that was so familiar I could let my mind wander during it.

Starting at the top, I began polishing my horns. "Heh," I snickered. Oh God. I was starting to think like that lewd wolf. I didn't want to be alone for the rest of my life, but I just couldn't see an office fling ending in anything but disaster. On the other hand, I never really had an opportunity like this. In fact, my average for receiving any romantic attention - not counting a confused tigress who on our first day of preschool, insisted we were married - came out to someone showing an interest in me once every twenty-five years. Assuming the trend holds steady.

It was a matter of risk versus reward, and looking at all the possible outcomes I could imagine, I still wasn't sure it was worth the risk. If a fur can't take his job seriously, how could I expect him to take a relationship seriously?

I surfaced out of my meditative reflections to find myself under the running cold water of the shower. I always found cold showers to be invigorating.

"It's probably too late to send that text," my voice echoed off the tiles. Talking to yourself through echos was less weird than just talking to yourself. "You'll see him at work and tell him right away that... that..."

That what? You're afraid of a casual fling? I groaned louder than I anticipated, startling myself. Thoughts of Trent were like those demons in that game. Slay them and they just respawn. I need to find the equivalent holy water to quell them.

I got out of the shower, wrapping a towel around myself and left the bathroom without once looking at myself in the mirror. I sat at my desk, letting my scales dry on their own. Over the last week I'd made almost no progress on the app I was programming. My lunches had me completely focused on Trent and trying not to sound like an idiot in front of him. My evenings were spent replaying the day's events and picking out every instance I was awkward. It was a wonder I had time to eat, what with how much of my time was spent making an utter fool of myself. There was no time for me to work on my pet project.

The entire goal of taking the data entry job was to support myself until I could finish my app and send it to market. It was supposed to be a mindless job that would let me free my thoughts for my more important work. With that wolf on my mind, that plan was in shambles.

"Ok," I said firmly. I'll go in tomorrow and find out exactly where this... relationship is headed. And since I could see it was headed nowhere, that should finally banish these distracting thoughts for once and for all. Right?

My phone beeped and I nearly fell out of my chair. Oh God, he sent me a text! My mind went into panic mode as I picked up my phone. Then I remembered, he doesn't have my number. Then who-

Dale. The text read: call him. U kno u want 2.

I growled at the ram for scaring me like that. I growled louder because he was probably right.

I switched the phone to airplane mode and placed my legal pad on top of it. Out of sight, out of mind. I flicked off the lights, as angrily as a dragon could flick off a light, and turned in for what I was sure would be a restless night.

***

At the ring of my phone's alarm clock, I wished I wasn't always right. I must have only gotten about an hour's sleep, being optimistic. I rubbed my sore, dry eyes. This would not be a productive day.

I padded into my bathroom, making for my well stocked medicine cabinet. There was my reflection in the mirrored door. Alright, I admit it. I had some body image issues. It's not that I was ugly... there was just a little more of me than there should be. I keep meaning to join a gym, but money is rather tight, and doughnuts are so cheap... and delicious.

I took out a bottle of eye drops and applied them, blinking the world into focus and making my drive to work safe for pedestrians. No need to thank me. Although, given the junker I drove, I'd soon be joining their ranks.

I arrived at Velski Investments fifteen minutes early. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about seeing Trent, but I might have half an hour before he sneaks in. And even more if-

"Morning," Trent said.

I felt my heart skip a beat. That wolf needs to wear a bell! "Hello, Trent."

"Scare ya?" he laughed.

Startled, not scared. There was a fine difference. "No. I'm just surprised to see you in on time." I looked at him, again needing to hide my surprise. He looked like I felt.

Trent wasn't much for grooming, but it looked like he'd just rolled out of bed. His long hair was noticeably tangled and his fur stuck out in random tufts. His shirt was wrinkled and untucked. All I could do was gawk.

"Can I borrow a pen?" he asked, stifling a yawn.

I nodded and passed him one. He sat at his desk, spinning his chair twice before stopping to smile at me. I ducked into my work. "So," I said, "I'm sorry I was too busy to call you."

"It's cool." He was so casual about it. I knew I was being an idiot about things. To think a wolf like Trent would ever be interested in a dragon like me. It was a load of pressure off, yet so, so depressing. I looked up, one last peak to feel worse about myself.

He was running the pen through his hair. A poor attempt at combing out the knots, not to mention I wouldn't be asking for that pen back now. He was looking right at me. I tried not to let it get to me, but he was distracting in more ways than one.

I couldn't take it. "Could you start your work?"

"Nope."

Nope? The nerve! Well, I wasn't going to play his games this time. I went back to my work. Let mister Hal fire him and my problem would be solved. I punched my keys, taking out my aggression on them, rather than strangling Trent.

I lasted ten minutes. A new personal record. "Fine, Trent. What do you want? One of your 'team-building' chats about your sexual habits? A chance to ridicule me some more? Go on. Make fun of me so we can get back to what we're paid to do!"

He looked hurt. That wasn't what was supposed to happen.

"'Ridicule?' I... I just wanted to know why you don't like me."

Dang it. His ears were going flat. Oh, this was going so differently than I envisioned. "I like you," I said. I hated when his ears went down like that. "Look, this is work. Maybe you can slack off without an ounce of guilt, but I can't. So, it's not that I don't like you, it's just..." Why was he smiling? "This... is work."

"Alright. Hang out with me after work. I know this club-"

"I don't get paid until Friday." This is why I needed to finish my app. I wasn't expecting instant fortune, but at least I'd have spending money while I work on my next one.

"Not a problem," he said. He better not offer to pay for me. "I've got a better idea. Invite me over to your place. We can watch a movie, and I'll order us a pizza."

"Fine! Now shut up and do some work." Wait. What? "Wh-wh-wh-"

"I accept!" His ears sprung back up.

What the heck did I just do? "Wait, wait, wait."

"Calm down," the tone was dangerously close to patronizing. "I'm not gonna fuck you. Don't think of this as a date. It's just two perspective buddies seeing if they've got the foundations of a friendship."

"I-"

"I'd offer to host, but I get the feeling you'd do better with homefield advantage. And my living arrangements are..." he scratched his chin, "less than ideal at the moment."

This was spiraling out of my comfort zone. "Look, Trent, I'm sure you are a really nice wolf, but-"

"I am a really nice wolf," he cut me off. "You're makin' too big of deal out of this. What's the worst that could happen?"

What's the worst that could happen? He was asking the wrong dragon. I am an expert in seeing worst case scenarios. "You could turn out to be a serial killer." I probably should have given him a more plausible example but...

Trent laughed. "You can tie me up if it'll make you feel safer."

I growled to myself. That image would be with me all day. Thanks, Trent. "What if I turn out to be a serial killer?" Ok, strike two for my logical worst case scenarios.

He rolled his eyes. "I'll risk it."

I would have, too. Maybe this was for the best. One movie and he'll see there's no sparks and I'll be able to get back to my plan. Days at a boring job, evenings working on my breakthrough app, nights raiding the underworld with my guildmates. That's what I wanted.

Right?

"Alright. It's not a date. We just 'hang out' and watch one movie." I swear I heard his tail slashing the air as it wagged out of view. "But you have to actually do some work while we're here," I stipulated. Might as well milk this for what I could.

Just as I got back into my work, Trent broke my concentration. "Hey, Mick?"

"What?" I snapped.

"You got a car?"

"Yes." Sort of, depending on how literal a definition you used.

"Great. I'm gonna need a lift to your place."

I sighed at the inconvenient lupine. "Of course you will."

***

Over lunch we discussed our tastes in movies. Or, rather, Trent went on at length about the merits and drawbacks of every genre he could think of. While it appeared he liked everything, he was particularly found of cheesy action films from the late seventies to the early nineties. It wouldn't be an issue. I may be short of money, but I had my priorities. High speed internet, a large screen HD television and memberships to several entertainment streaming services.

What we did not discuss was my car, and by the strained look on the wolf's face upon seeing it for the first time, he was clearly holding back observations I'd heard a hundred times before.

"I know," I beat him to the punch, "there's more duct tape than metal. The car's country of origin no longer exists. It's top speed is how fast I can push. I've heard them all." Trent raised his eyebrow. "And the air conditioner is broke," I added before jiggling open the door.

"Fuck," I heard him say louder than he intended.

My city apartment wasn't in the best of neighborhoods, and it wasn't worth half the rent I was paying, but it was mine. And I made it a point to keep it in the best condition I could. It was spotless, which is why I wouldn't need to have the awkward conversation with Trent about why he'd have to wait in the car for half an hour while I tidied up. Unannounced and uninvited guests were one of the worst case scenarios I was prepared for. Score one for Valmick.

When we arrived after a quiet car ride I stood before my door, the wolf at my back, staring a hole through me. I took a deep breath. There was no backing out of this now. I inserted my key slowly, strangely thinking of Trent for whatever reason. And there we beheld my lair. Not that I would ever be so pretentious as to call it my lair. Out loud, anyways.

"Wow," Trent whistled. I tensed, not sure if he was mocking me again. "Did it come fully furnished?"

I hesitated, looking for flaws in my scavenged mid-century modern chair and couch and the faux vintage coffee table. "No."

"You have a good eye for decorating then," he said with a smile I didn't fully trust.

"Thank you," I said with a touch less hesitation. Not to play into stereotypes, but I always assumed it came with the sexual orientation.

He clapped his hands together, "what do you want on your pizza?"

***

Over my protests, Trent insisted on paying for the pizza. It turns out we both liked sausage. I mean, on our pizza.

While we waited for the delivery, I showed Trent to my media center. He was less computer literate than I would have guessed. I did use an obscure open source operating system, but he said he had zero experience using even the most mainstream command line interfaces. So I turned on my mouse and showed him to one of the streaming sites I liked. I told him it was synced with the television so all he had to do was click a movie when he was ready to start.

I excused myself to my kitchenette, ostensibly to wash up, but really I was just going to take a moment to calm down. I ran the cold water over my hands, slipping instinctively into a more meditative state of mind.

There was a hot as Hades wolf in my livingroom. That's not something that ever happens to a scaly like me. And what's more, he practically begged me to let him come over and watch a movie with me. My thoughts drifted at the notion of Trent and begging. God, I needed a cold shower. Back to the pressing issue: when did the universe stop making sense?

"I can pick anything?" Trent called out.

My hands started to sting from the ice cold water. I turned off the tap. "Yes," I yelled back. I owed it to him for demanding to pay for our pizza - that would have used up all of my spending money until payday - but I got a nervous feeling about the way he fixated on the word "anything." I would have rushed back to the living room to check on that but there was a knock at the door.

I opened it to a teenaged rabbit holding a pizza box and a carrier with two large sodas. "'Sup, brah. That'll be sixteen eighty-three."

I paid with the twenty Trent insisted I take. Then I had to wait while the product of our shockingly bad public education system struggled to make change. After I assured the little beggar, twice, that, yes, I would be wanting my change. It's not that I'm not sympathetic to furs that rely on tips to supplement their pay, but this wasn't my money.

Hearing him mumble something about me being a "cheap-ass fag," while I closed the door certainly absolved me of any guilt I might have otherwise felt.

I balanced the pizza, drinks, change, a couple of plates and napkins over to the coffee table. Trent was sitting on the couch, smiling suspiciously. I cautiously sat on the other end and plated the pizza. I couldn't remember a time I felt more self-conscious.

"Did you pick out a movie?" I asked.

"Yup." He aimed the remote and fired.

The screen displayed the title Discipline for Naughty Foxes 4: The Plumber. My jaw fell open with enough force to risk dislocation. If I'd taken a bite of pizza, I would have been choking to death. And I can't say for certain that that wouldn't have been for the best.

"You said anything," Trent said.

I couldn't form words.

"I saw this in your queue. Hope you don't mind."

Mind? Why would I mind? After canceling my subscription to that site and sending them a thank you letter for ruining my life, I'll have to change my name and start over in another country, but, no, of course I don't mind. "Nnehh," I think is what I managed to say.

"Good," Trent scooted closer, helping himself to the pizza, and not scooting back. "I love these movies."

If I blushed any harder, Trent might start to wonder why there was a red dragon where green Valmick just was. But I wasn't lucky enough for that.

Knock, knock. "It is I. The plumber. I am here to inspect the pipes."

Trent snickered and I failed to discover any hidden power of invisibility I desperately wished I had.

Two lean foxes, who were of course in the middle of doing near naked yoga, opened the door for the ludicrously well endowed bear in the plumber's hat and pants that looked ready to burst.

Trent's arm came in contact with mine, not quite exploding my heart. "Relax," he said softly. "Just enjoy my company." I tasted pizza, realizing my mouth was still agape and Trent was feeding me, giggling at the reflexive chomp I took out of it.

A hot wolf, watching a porno with me, hand feeding me pizza. Maybe I was dead and just didn't know it. But then I wouldn't have the heart beat that threatened to snap my sternum.

The movie focused on the fox roommates finishing their stretching.

"I like how the movie establishes how bendy the foxes are," Trent said, "it makes the stuff they do in the second act so much more believable." He leaned against my arm, the contact clearly no longer incidental. And I didn't push him away.

"You've seen this..." smut? "film, before?"

"Hell yeah," Trent said with pride.

I watched the screen mutely. The bear was exiting the bathroom just as the two foxes were getting up from a pose that would be considered sex in some of the more conservative countries.

"I need to go to my plumber's truck. To get my big snake. Whatever yous do, do not turn anything on, waterwise," the bear kept glancing at the camera.

Trent was laughing. "Oh my God! Best actor award, right there."

I chuckled.

In the movie the two foxes were exchanging mischievous looks that I swear I'd seen Trent use before.

"Gee, I really want to wash up," said one fox.

"Yeah, we're all sweaty. But the plumber said we're not supposed to," said the other one.

Trent was thoroughly enjoying himself. "Oh no, Mick, you don't think they're about to do something naughty, do you?"

His ease was starting to rub off on me. I began to calm down, allowing myself to laugh along with him.

The two foxes disregarded the bear's warning, standing at the sink, giving us an unintended glimpse of the fur filming in a reflection. A shot of them turning the faucet. A cartoon sound effect and a spray of water. "Oh no!," exclaimed the foxes.

Trent was laughing hysterically, his head coming into contact with my shoulder.

"We're all wet, now," one of the foxes stated the obvious. "Quick, let's get out of these wet clothes before the plumber comes back."

"They're wearing speedos! What good will taking them off accomplish?" I heard myself say.

"That's the spirit," Trent encouraged with a pat on my back.

I have to admit, I was having a good time as I started getting into it. Trent had a funny sense of humor when it wasn't directed at me. It was hard to remember what I was so nervous about. That is, until the sex scene started to get more intense.

I guess the director assumed plumbers routinely carried handcuffs with them. Unfortunately, the stupidity of the plot did nothing to distract me from the arousing visuals. I was afraid to look at Trent. Was he judging me? Of course he was. He probably thought I was sick and was plotting his escape. It was the only logical scenario I could think off.

Trent's voice became low, breathy, as he spoke. "I'm naughty all the time. Nothing like that ever happens to me."

"Oh." What could I say to that? "That's lucky." And it was, right? One of the foxes was hanging by his wrists on a suspiciously strong shower rod, while the other was getting spanked with a level of force that looked like it could give him a concussion. "The bear's having all the fun."

Trent's head shifted on my shoulder and now I knew he was looking at me. "So I was right. You're a top." My breath caught in my throat. I'd never discussed sexuality offline, save for a few times with Dale. "That's good. We'll fit together perfectly."

"Why?" I asked without thinking.

"Because I'm fucking hard just thinking of you taking a whip and-"

"No." Not what I meant, but now I'd have that thought to keep the one of tied-up-Trent company. "I mean, why are you here? Why me?"

Trent slipped a hand around my jaw, pulling me to look at him. "I like you. I don't know why, and I don't ask questions. The heart wants what it wants. And the cock wants what it wants."

That was almost romantic, but I couldn't accept that. "No. We're too different. I don't want to be a one night stand for you to brag about at work." Trent's ears flattened. I think I hurt him again.

"You think I'm a slut?"

"No!" not when you phrase it like that.

"Is it the fur? Do you not date furries, or specifically, wolves?"

"No! This has nothing to do with species," I motioned at the two of us, how could he not see the obvious. "You're... hot. You- you wouldn't even understand."

Before I could sulk, I learned Trent had a temper of his own. "Fuck you! It's all about looks with you. Not that you care, but I find you hot as well. And stop," he smacked me across my stomach, not hard enough to hurt, but it shocked me, "sucking that in. Your little gut is cute." He huffed and slid back to the other end of the couch in one fast move.

I was speechless. How the heck did I become the bad guy here? I stared at my hands, like they might hold the answer. Was I overreacting?

"Trent? I-"

"Unless the next words out of your mouth are to ask me out on a proper date, just keep it shut."

The nerve! "Are you-"

"Shhhh!" he hissed, pretending to be engrossed in the two foxes riding the standard issue plumber's doublheaded dildo, while the bear jacked off.

"Fine!" I shouted louder than I planned to, but it got the wolf's attention. "Do you want to go on a date, you manipulative brat?"

"Yes. I do," he snarled back at me.

Did he plan that? I couldn't help but feel that I was set up. I also couldn't seem to get mad about that. Trent's snarl faded into a smile he was trying to hold back. He started to scoot closer to me again. I rolled my eyes and rested my arm on the back of the couch, hoping the invitation wasn't too subtle.

It wasn't. Trent shouldered into me, pulling my arm so it draped over his shoulders. "Was that so hard?" he asked.

"You don't take no very well, do you?"

He arched an eyebrow at me. "Feel free to discipline me, now that we're dating."

"Don't think I won't." The words left my mouth before I remembered to blush, which I did, much to Trent's amusement. I was far from decided if the wolf was growing on me, or slowly driving me insane.

***

No, I didn't sleep with him that night. We watched a pornographic movie, and he conned me into asking him out, but I still had too much self respect to put out on a first date. Even if that wasn't technically a real date. Just two coworkers watching a porno, over pizza and soda. Nothing strange about any of that.

Needless to say, I took something for a headache before driving to work the next morning. I offered to drive him to his home last night, and he offered to spend the night with me. Neither option worked for us so he called a taxi. Trent was already occupying enough of my thoughts, so I tried really hard not to dwell on why he wouldn't want me to taking him home.

Within minutes of breaking my promise to myself not to dwell on it, I had several working theories. None were good.

I walked into our sub-basement room expecting every subsequent second to be the most awkward and uncomfortable of my life. Surprisingly, that was not the case.

It was like nothing was irrevocably destroyed last night. Trent was still slacking while I worked and there was no inappropriate talk of sex. It was premature to think this wouldn't all blow up in my face, but a tiny part of me was experiencing feelings that I'd long ago assumed to be rare and dangerous. Hope.