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I can't forget my past. Many are in the same boat, but none of them know the pain

I suffer from mine. All the people I've hurt, the people I've lost, the people I've killed. It's formed a hole in my well being that I just can't close. The one thing I hate the most....is when someone has the same hole in their heart, if not a bigger one.

I open my eyes and look into my mirror. The red eyes with blackened whites staring back is a regular thing; I was born with red eyes. The familiar face and hair, with a pale skin tone, blonde and red hair. It's not new for me to see. I grab a black tank top off of the edge of the sink and slip it on. I rub my nose briefly and walk into my bedroom, a girl in the bed softly sleeping. I sigh with a smile and pick up my black jeans from the floor, patting them lightly to get any dirt off before slipping them on over my hairless legs. I stretch lazily and walk downstairs, rubbing my forehead to rid my headache. I then clear my throat quietly, careful not to awaken the sleeping beauty upstairs. The last thing I want is to disturb someone.

I have a job that isn't for most. This job requires social skills as well as deadly skills. I'm a hitman, or assassin. I'm payed to kill, or assault. It doesn't require stealth, but in some situations it would be better to use. This is where I'm headed. An anonymous person had contacted me the day before, and offered me six hundred to kill a man by the name of Vincent Everette. I was to meet the caller after the job was done, near the fountain by Club Caprice. "Where can I find him?" I ask over the phone. the caller answers with a slight delay. "I'm told by a scout that he's somewhere in Westside, most likely near the Purple Gang hideout." I sigh disappointingly. This lead wasn't a very strong one. "I'll be in touch," I said finally, then ended the call. I pocket my phone and go for my leather trench coat, a sort of trademark look I've dawned. Then I set out, shutting the door behind me quietly.

Two hours had passed as I scouted the Purple Gang Hideout, eyeing the entrance and the rest of the building. Lo and behold, a man not wearing the proper uniform emerges from a garage. "Hmm..." I pull out a set of binoculars and take a look at the man. My assumptions were correct. He wasn't from Purple Gang. "Got ya...." I murmur to myself before putting the binoculars away and hopping off of the roof. "Hey, Chica," I hear beside me, "Ya best get lost, this is Purple Gang turf." I scoff and continue walking. "Why don't you jam it for me? I got a job to do," I remark, not even looking back. A gunshot rings out; the goon had pulled a gun on me. "Dude," I say, holding up part of my coat, "I just had this thing fixed!" I growl and start walking toward the armed thug. He fires off three more shots at me. Two missed, one hit my chest. I flinched for a moment, putting a hand over the wound. Then I let go of the wound and walked toward him once more, the wound now nothing but a hole in my shirt. The gunner started to panic, staggering backward into a wall. Making my way to him,I grab him by the neck and lift him up. He screams out in terror before his neck made a snapping sound, silencing him abruptly. I drop his limp body and continue forward to my target.

"What was that?" I heard someone say. I ignored it and made my way to Vincent. I unholster a tribal knife from my leg and surprise the gold-suited man, cupping his mouth. I then drag him behind a building and let go of his lips. "Scream, and I'll end you now." I say as a warning, the tip of my blade against his jugular. "A-a-alright, what do you want?" He asks frantically, staring at the hand holding the knife. "I'm here for your head. However, I'm willing to let you go, if you pay me the same amount..." He takes a deep breath and shuts his eyes. "Okay, um, uhh, h-how much is my head exactly?" I grin at him. "Six hundred dollars." He sighs grudgingly and reaches into his pocket, pulling out a huge stack of cash. "H-here, take eight." I happily grab the cash and cut off a lock of his hair, then drop him and start walking off. Today was a good pay day.

I take a deep breath and exhale exhaustedly. "Hey, Joe, the usual if you would." Joe, the bartender, knew me well. When I called the usual, he had already set a tall glass in front of me on the counter. He grabbed a large bottle with black marker labelling it 'DP'. He pours the contents of the bottle into my glass, the fizzy drink a dark red hue. He then grabs a cherry and holds it up. "In, or on the side today?" He asks. "Put it in for me, sweetie." I reply with a grin. "You know, you and Ash are the only ones to get my order right in this club?" Joe shrugs at me. "I just like doin' mah job right, hun, can't get paid if I screw it up." I nod my head in understanding, then pick up my ordered Dr. Pepper and take a swig. The music pounds against my eardrums as I look about Club Caprice, the go-to club for metahumans and the supernatural. I pop my neck again and take another swig, slurping the cherry into my mouth. A buzzing sound escaped from my pocket as my leg vibrated. I dig into my left pocket and pull out a small phone reminiscent of a Cosmo modeled slide-phone. I tap the center button, and the screen lights up. A yellow envelope icon was on the bottom right of the screen; I got a text message. I unlock the phone and go into my messages, and see a friend of mine's name by text icon. I press the center button on the name, and check the message. "Hey Adrie, just had a nap tht was longer then 10 min! -Lilly" read the text. I smirk and start to reply. "Well thts gud, glad to c u got a break. :)" I set my phone down, waiting for the buzzing noise again as I take another swig, chewing on the sweet cherry. As per expectations, the phone vibrates once more on the counter. I pick it back up to see the text. "yea, think u cud cum ovr sumtime soon? ;3 -Lilly" I chuckle and reply with "Let me finish my DP at CC and I'll drop by ur place, k?" I set the phone back down and take one more large gulp from my drink, downing the last of it. I set down a $20 and put the glass over it, grabbing my phone before getting up and heading for the exit. "Keep the change, Joe," I call back to the counter. "Ya never cease to be generous, Adrie," he replies, "Take care."

I knock lightly on the wooden door, looking around as I patiently wait. The door swings open moment later as a familiar, pale face grinning at me. "Hey, Adrie!" She exclaims, pulling me into a tight hug. I was glad that Lilly had gotten more open with me the more we hung out, as she seemed to be almost half naked. The first time she met, when we went to her house, she had dropped her khakis and kicked them aside, and that was it. Now? Lets say she wasn't wearing her usual horror movie T-shirt, replaced by a sport-like tanktop,with laced panties and short white socks. "Hey Lilly, glad to see that sweet smile of yours today," I say with a grin, returning the embrace. "Let's head in before you get embarrassed by someone looking."

"So what do you want me here for, sweetie?" I ask as politely as possible, knowing no matter what it sounded rude. "Oh, your company's always enough for me," she replied, hopping onto her worn-out couch. I sat beside her and leaned back, taking a deep breath. "Well, whatever you want, honey, I'm always happy to oblige." I pop my neck once more and look to Lilly, her legs curled up against her a she sat peacefully. "Your nose is running, Lilly." She jumps and covers her nose, blood trickling from her nose. I sigh and lean closer to her, tilting her head forward. "Tilt forward, pinch shut," I recite to her with a grin, forcing her fingers to clamp her nostrils shut. "Uhh, thanks," she says with a blush. "Oh don't be so bashful, I help you with this all the time." We sit quietly for a moment as Lilly finishes cleaning her nose. "So how was your day?" She asks me with a light smile. "Meh, it was my usual day. Today's job was an odd one, but other that it was normal." Lilly surprises me with a kiss on the lips. My eyes widen for a moment as she plants her lips on mine, then backing away into her regular seat. "What was that for?" I ask chuckling. "I felt like it," she replied. I chuckle and slip off my coat, setting it aside and leaning into Lilly warmly. I wrap my arm around her, feeling how cold her skin was. She and I looked at each other for a short minute before pulling each other closer, embracing and kissing lustfully. We clawed at each other's clothes trying to get them off. The tension was rising as we started our session.

I open my eyes slowly, noticing I had fallen asleep after Lilly and I's 'rough housing'. I rub the back of my neck softly and look at Lilly. Her eyes were closed somewhat, but I knew she was awake. I snuggled up beside her lightly, comforting her as she tried to take a nap. Her now unclothed body was warm to the touch, almost hot as I caressed her arm softly. I kiss her neck and nuzzle my ear against her cheek, closing my eyes with her. I felt her suddenly start shivering, and knew what was occurring. I merely her tightly to try to comfort her as she slept. Her shaking got more violent as minutes passed. I opened my eyes to look at Lilly about ten minutes after. She had grown grotesquely pale, her blood veins showing through as black tendrils under her skin, her nose bleeding profusely. I kept my embrace, rubbing her arm softly, trying to keep calm as Lilly's body fought her. Five minutes pass, and an area on her body started to tear open, and I knew then she had to wake up. I shook her softly, whispering in her ear. "Lilly, wake up...you need to wake up..." Her eyes kept shut; the tear kept opening. I pick Lilly up and carry her to her sink, turning the cold water on. I fill a cup up and splash her face. Her eyes open widely as she suddenly started to throw up blood into the sink, enough blood to put someone in the hospital. The tear in her flesh stopped opening, and soon started to close itself back as if it hadn't happened in the first place. I tapped Lilly's back softly, letting her double over onto the sink to upchuck. A good two minutes passed before she stopped, taking heavy breaths, still over the sink. Once I knew she was done, I grabbed a rag and wet it with the cold water, then started to wipe the blood from Lilly's face. "Are you okay sweetie?" I ask softly. "Oh I'm fine, it's just my usual night of sleep..." she replies groggily. I take her to the shower, her body easy to move considering the situation. Her shower was a primitive rectangle in the corner, with a simple shower head and a glass door. I open the door and set her inside, turning on the warm water and stepping in with her. The blood on both of us started splashing off with the water as we washed ourselves, taking turns to wash our backs. She surprises me with a sentence, though I'm not sure why I was surprised. "I'm glad to have someone hold me when I try to sleep...." She says quietly. My eyes widen briefly, then I smile and kiss her shoulder. "I love ya too, hon..." I reply in a soft tone.

I open the door to my penthouse to be greeted by a young child. Her hair was a bright white with red streaks, with a pale skintone and dark red eyes. She smiled widely at me and ran to me yelling Momma Adrie!" I quickly kneel down and catch her in my arms, giving her a tight hug. "Hey, Linda! How was school?" I ask with a big smile on my face. She cringed. "I don't like school." She says to me.I chuckle and look at her. "I didn't like school either, I know what you're feeling." I tell her. Our embrace breaks as the beaut from this morning walks by. She wore a dark dress with a red rose as decor near the bottom, her skin was tan and her lips tinted with a pitch-black-purple hue. She was smirking at me. I give a warm smile back and stand up. "Have a nice rest, Mel'Vanas?" I ask her, teasing about this morning. "Oh yes, until realized I was alone in my bed again," she replies, still smirking at me. I shrug at her. "Sorry, I just can't sleep like you can." I tell her, She just sighs and walks over, giving me a hug. "So how's Ms. Lilith, hm?" She asks in my ear. "She's...she's getting...better? I can't say she's been getting worse, but I don't know if it'll get better for her..." I reply, giving a sigh as we embraced. She lets go and walks toward the kitchen. Her hips cocked seductively to the side with each step. "Gotta love succubi," I blurt out with a smirk, not helping but staring at Mel'vanas' big rump. She looks back at me and winks, then walks to the counter to prepare dinner.

"You got any homework, Linda?" I ask as we sat at the table. "N-no, I did it all at school..." She says shyly, knowing well that I see through her bluff just by watching her cheeks flush red. "Mhm. Well let me know if you need any help on it, it can get easier if you ask for help." I reply, grabbing the fork by my plate and digging in. A delicacy to be had, Mel'vanas was always good at cooking. Today's meal was a thick-cut beef steak with scalloped potatoes and corn. "How're the other children, Mel?" I ask, looking at Mel'vanas. "Oh, they're with Sip right now. I think they went to the park? I don't remember," she says with a little giggle after. I sigh briefly with a smirk before cutting into my steak, chewing on the thick piece of steak. It had been marinaded, in what I don't know, but it was sweet tasting. I start munching away at the food on the plate, feeling famished after my few hour visit with Lilly. I hear Linda snickering as I scarf down the food. "Momma Adrie's hungry after her happy time with Ms. Lilly," Linda says with a snicker,kicking her feet softly, the heels smacking against her chair. I snicker with her, but keep a serious tone. "Hey now, not at the dinner table," I , still slightly smirking as I stuff another chunk of meat into my mouth.

I sit on Linda's bed and begin tucking her into her comforter, kissing her on the cheek softly. "Goodnight sweetie..." I whisper to her before standing and walking up the stairs to Mel'vanas and I's bedroom. I exhaustedly start slipping out of my attire, tossing my phone onto the nightstand as I pull off my pants. I take a deep breath in and exhale, slipping under the covers of the king-sized bed. I turn on my side, facing the balcony, as I curl up slowly in bed. Mel'vanas crept alongside me, cradling me from behind. I smile and lean into her loving embrace, snuggling into her arm. As I started to drift off, I felt something creeping between my legs slowly. I snicker and turn to Mel'vanas, with a glimmer in her eye that instantly told me someone wanted to get naughty. I grapple the object with my legs and rub it softly, getting a soft coo from Mel'vanas. She pulled me closer and planted her lips on mine, and I instantly knew that I would be the sub tonight.

Midnight. The usual time I start to envision my past more, resulting in my nightmares. I tossed and turned in bed, not able to sleep peacefully as I'm bombarded by whispers. The whispers were familiar sounding, as if a group of old friends next to me, but they seemed in anguish and despair. "Why did you do it..." A few said here, "What have you done to me..." From the other few, overlapping each other as they grew more intense. Images flashed in my head of blood, corpses, the faces of the friends I once had distorted and twisted, a look of fear as their limbs sprawled apart, severed from their bodies. Tears in their clothes, rips in their skin, they were hard images to look at. I look at the horror, tears welling up. "I...I didn't mean..." The faces stared lifelessly at me, their jaws bobbing as they whispered. As I look at the faces, images of their deaths flash into my head. I hear a faint whimper. It sounded like Lilly. A painful recurrence played through my head, one that opened the hole deeper. All of the images of my friends dumbed down, fading as the area got darker. Lilly appears, curled up on the floor. "Get the fuck out of my house..." she murmured...she repeated it, glaring at me with tears rolling down her face. "Get the fuck out of my house!" I turned and walked, head hung as I walked into the darkness. the image cuts, and everything is pitch-black. I hear a faint laugh, it sounded like mine but satanic, the laughter booming. My lips faintly move as I stare into a dark mirror. My eyes illuminated the sink, the mirror, and nothing else. I had a twisted grin in my reflection. I cringed as I stared. Suddenly, it spoke from the mirror, and the sentence worried me. "Let's welcome chaos..." I heard it say, it's grin widening before it flew out of the mirror. Before I could move, I jolt awake and sit up abruptly, breathing heavily. The clock on my nightstand read 4:00. I couldn't help but break into tears, reeling the memories around in my head, and the last bit of the nightmare. It confused me. What was I talking about? My tearful thoughts were interrupted by Mel'vanas, pulling me back down onto the bed. "Shh-shh, it's alright....I'm here...." she whispered. But that wasn't what I was afraid of.