First Command

Story by PoeticOtter on SoFurry

, , ,

This is a bit of an odd poem, about someone attempting to be another's master through hypnosis and failing. I varied the meter with this, following the Keatsian Ode model in anapestic tetrameter. The couplets are in iambic pentameter and trochaic tetrameter with masculine rhymes. I feel the turn at the end is sudden, but overall I'm happy with this one.


Will the trance follow up with a fitt ing comm and?

You are truth without love , without hate , just a voice

Swing the chain , pendant glow , I will foll ow the grand

Master Truth , Master Love , Master Hate , I re joice

And you null ify thought , breaking will , breaking walls

What was in that old gem you held up to my eyes?

Why do I ask a thought? 'Why' is not in my head

I will bow , as you ask , Master Truth , duty calls

I will bow , as you wish , Master Love , freedom dies

I will bow , at your whim , Master Hate , go a head

Your pup a waits his first comm and , don't wait

He chose to lose his mind , please seal his fate

But the ma gic fades and I re turn

Cry in com pe tence , you Mas ter Spurn