The Actor
i was having a difficult day and on my birthday. The dark feelings make it difficult to enjoy it. Even if I type it and put it out of sight, I feel like I won't feel better.
The topic feels like something everybody can relate to, so if you feel or have felt the same, can you offer advice?
I didn't check for grammar here, I don't think the rules i know apply for poetry.
I AM SORRY IF DARK THOUGHTS FOLLOW YOU.
The curtain closes again on my act.
The audiences roaring applause still present in the air.
I care not for their sound or their cheers, only the distance towards my sanctuary.
I pass the threshold and seal myself in, dreading the thought of leaving again.
I toss my mask, tore of the costume, reveling myself to the sanctuary.
I wished the mask would be smashed and the costume burned, I despise the role I play and the character developed into.
Why must I play it?
Can't someone else play it?
I wish to never hear the applause of the audience, seeing there smiles as the play continues, enjoying what they see.
They say they love me, but they are wrong.
They love the mask I wear and the costume I show them.
How I wish to show them the man they claim to love, to see their faces as they are shocked at who they love. To see them sneer at me, wish me to disappear, force me off the stage and stop the show I grow ill of playing.
I wish to not be an actor, to leave this show I play against my will, to be something else then a character in a show that cannot end.
The buzzing pierced my sanctuary, unsealing the world I created.
With heavy heart and limbs, I put on my mask and costume.
I knew once more all seat are filled, not a single one empty. The same viewers every day, watching the same show again and again.
If only I understood why they come, would my melancholy end? Would I lift my head higher? Could I face the audience without a mask covering my ugly self and flying feet?
I will focus on the show I preform, the words I say. I must know what the audience sees, why do they love this mask.
The curtain rises again, the audience cheer for me.
They wish to see this one man show, the show called
MY LIFE