Was & Is & Will Be
Was & Is & Will BeChapter 1: What was, what is, and what will be.As I rest on this pavment, on this road, in this rain that could be on, in, around, and atop of; I ask myself:What brought me, to hold her hand as I do now? What brought me, to be here at this moment? Was it the thoughts that have entered my mind throught my life? The questions of life, death, and all the things the begining and end? Was it as a pup, teen, young adult, to adult now? Or even further back to times unknown? These, thoughts of, such a deep yet, simple understanding. Fate? Destiney? To me, but fancy words for things, unchangavble. But, do we not, as all things, make out own path?And those paths, leading to more, and more, and yet, we take that left rather than that right, right? Before this night, I always just, went through the motions of triviality. Fate? Destiny? Own paths? It did not matter. I just saw as was and is and will be.However now, I have the chance to pull her tword me, or simply, let go.On one end; I could just, let get go, and hear the no doubt loud screams of a adult women in the most fear and utter terror, as she knows all was over, as her form, perhapse, still locked eyes with mine own, fell into the uttermost mouth of the darkness of the abyess of darkness below. As her voice, and no doubt as well, flailing, would be engulphedand leaving only the washing waves of rain and waterfall behind to envelope, and likely never have her been seen again, as those same waves and rains take her voice in theirmercilous clutches.
On one end; I could pull her up, up, up back up onto the bridge that someone long ago had erected for transport over the large rocks and waves of water yonder under. Did he, or she, or whoever indeed, intend for this? A matter of a true form of life and death? Likely not. But, one could say, that ours paws, in these moments connected, so damp and cold,was a true form of life and death, the devider. She too was a life, born, child, teen, young adult, adult. And could continue to be an elder. A wife, a lover, mother, killer,so much, in one life.And I ask myself now; Why my words so less fragrent when speaking of death? Why not both as equals in my own words? Why does life, sound so much sadder than death? COuld it be of the possibilities? Her yearning of life while in my paw? Why was I the one to come? Or was it my fault? Was my thought to come here, make her fall?Why was this put on me?I never needed to make such a massive choice. So then I ask; Why was, am, and seemingly will be, I to be the only on this mass of a bridge? This could, change things...
I look down to her still, under my hoodie, black, but not as the night, as only the slightness of my grey muzzle can be seen, poking, seemingly for the air, all to be seen by her, besides my hood's sleave, and grey fured paw.On the other end, white, a light in this, dark night, looking up to me. A wolf, with, eyes of the lightest amber, crying, mixed in the rain. How I knew she was truly crying, I may never know, but, she was. She wore a dark pink hoodie of her own, however her hood, behind her, and fluttering in the winds, showing her folded ears. What do I do...?"Help me."Those words, warm, calm, caring for a life I had in my grasp. The words that, one would hear in those, movies of love, only, this was now, not a movie or anthing of such sort but rather, life, our life, and the world outside, completely unknowing.Somehow, the rain had stopped it's sounds as she had spoken. As if an Angel, asking a person of pergatory to save them.And somehow, it all got to me. In 22 years, it just was a dull, walk. And yet now, I was pulling her up with all my might as we two struggled as one. As death, had no prize here on this night.
Soon, we two, no longer connected as one by a simple paw, lay, sprawled on the sidewalk, looking to the stars above.I just, lay there, as she did, our paws still connected yes, but pants were all to be heard in this time of quiet thought. I just guess that she was sprawled yes, as I had not looked for too long before turning to look up. I could not describe the stars, nor, much of anything but one thing. It may have seen so, hertoic, kind, a literal life-saver.But for me, I just wanted to know, why I came out here tonight?I could have stayied at the appartment, I could have watched Tv, looked at the wall, music, color, eat, drink, think of going on a walk...And yet, I did not, I just, did as I did, and found her...She was, walking ahead of me, holding the rail that came from the ground with many gaps between. A car had come from my end, I did not brace as it coated me in a fine layer of the filthy water of the street. She however, let go of the rail to brace herself, she did get soaked as well. Only, without the rail, and her, less even footing or whateverit might have been, caused the next gust of winds to catch her feet, and cause her to fall away from the rail, as the moreso copious water threatend to drag her into the depths.Her hood came back, to show her shock and fear, or rather, the surprise and silent cursing of mind as to how this could be happening.
For me, as I saw her begin to lose herself on her feet, I was instantly on her, before she fell, too far, as my paw held tight to the rail.And, well, now I was sitting up on the sidewalk, as the lights from the lamps broke through the dark ever so often.She too followed my lead in this sitting up dance of sorts. I could not hear her, as I wished not to hear her, as what I had done shook my form quietly still.I did
not want to have to do this again.I stood then, as my mind, was somehow, quiet, as opposed to the many thoughts that wracked it. Of variables, statistics, ideas, paths, and all such things of this and that.Soon we were at the end of the bridge, as it curved in the forest and led to the opening of the city beyond.I had, never let go of her paw, no matter how forcing I was to move us.As we reached the end, I left go and walked as fast as I could away. I did not get far...Her paw met mine again and I stood, I was scared, another new. I did not want to choose."Thank you. A name please?"Her voice, still warm and kind, and gentel, still as if, making this all sound like some movie. Was it a movie? At least in most movie's, people would be shaken, scared, cryingor crying still...But she, unwavering...?
I turned, I had to see what I expected, a messy, crying, steryotypical in destress lass.What I did see, made my eyes widen further behind my hood, and my heart stopped, as did everything else. The rain had slowed, till I could see each drop, but I only saw them between us. She look, as if, nothing had happend...I hoped, I had heared her voice of calm all wrong.In one instant, she made all I knew of the norm, the thoughts I thought, and the world that seemed so, ehh. She made it all...questionable...She wore a warm smile to come with her half open, and warmed eyes. She wasn't coming onto me no, she was just, in her usual state...? Her fur, as if aglow by the light of the lamp behind,and, the flowing locks behind her, and between her ears, wrapped in a kind of, black band in the middle, as they continued down her face, ending just partway above her chest.Somehow, I do not believe she spoke after falling, and before now, as she stood still nearly half a foot above my own hight of half of five feet. And yet still, as I froze still, I could swear there were the lightest of white wings, all around the sides of my vision...
I regained myself somehow, and just, just ran!I could hear a call of:"Hey! What's your name?! I'm Ora!""Th'er!"Was all that could be spoken of my quivering lips, and eased mind.It took no time, as soon, I ended up back at my and my roomates appartment.I just walked on in, apparent that something was different as colors all seemed, crisper, lighter, brighter indeed.I sat on the couch, soaked, wettend, mineself defeated indeed.Less than a few minutes later, my roomate came, he was a rabbit fox. He had gone on a nighttown fun ride or whatever he had said. Who knows how all would have happend if he forced me to follow...He took one look at me, and just asked something along the lines of: "What was wrong?" and "The couch will get all moldy if I sit too long." All I did, was a
shock too him I guess.I just brought my hood down, and smiled a small smile, as I said:"Ca'ab...I think I will go to collage with you..."That, is what happend. I know I left alot out near the end there but...I just needed to get it down. I'll try to have another update soon.
I will keep these in chapters, as, I feel this is the begining of something new.I hope, I see her again...End, Chapter 1