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Get Funky

A black and green skunk in a white lab coat over black jeans and a green buttoned shirt quietly waits in a slightly ram shackled lobby of a major bank. He is also wearing over sized technical looking goggles. On some of the glass behind him signs proclaiming this to be a branch of the Financial Security for Upstanding Citizens Bank can be seen.

"Mister Einstein?" A petite ewe call in a very conservative attire. "I'm Sunday Pentecost and I'll be handling your case. Follow me, please."

"Certainly, Miz Pentecost," Alouicious Einstein also known as Stinkbomb says as he is checking her out and trying to concentrate on the business at hand and not how cure she walks even if the micro camcorder hidden in his belt buckle is tempting Garren "Marauder" Xiomar away from his marriage vows.

"Don't even think about it, Gary," Grizelda "Amazon" Xiomar growls to him playfully before giving him a lap dance followed by some fellatio. "This is my toy." She says as she opens his pants and gropes his groin.

Both green and black German Shepherds are dressed in paramilitary gear smile to each other as Zelda services her husband.

"As much as I appreciate this, love, I need to be on hand if All needs me for anything at the bank."

Zelda acknowledges that she heard him but still gives worship to his package with her muzzle.

"Don't acknowledge it, Al, but Zelda is providing additional support. To me really, but support none the less." Garren says that almost has his wife choking as she to giggle with his cock in her mouth.

"Mister Einstein, I see you have done business with us in the past as part of the Amazing Allies team," Miss Pentecost says lightly but with a hint of annoyance. "You were the technical operative of the team?"

Al's face is a mask of seriousness before replying with: "Yes, I was the resident inventor."

"You are looking to establish a business account with us?" She asks in a passively hostile manner. "What sort of business? Vigilantism is not a legal business model."

"I beg to differ, Miss Pentecost," Al says with a sinister smile. "This very branch was hit by the reason why we still exist and need to exist."

Sunday glares at him at the reminder of last week's attack by super villains but her expression as watches over Al's shoulder at the opening of a psychedelic portal as some one has initiated a time warp back to the '60s. Stepping through the portal is a male African lion whose mane is a gravity defying, Ozone annihilating Afro halo around his head dressed like John Travolta's stand in for Saturday Night Fever. Other male furs in hypnotic psychedelic outfits of varying species accompany the very male lion.

A group of dogs wheel out a Silver Age nightmare contraption featuring a disco ball the size of a beach ball quite prominently. The lion walks over to the machine and manipulates what looks like random dials, levers and slides to turn the machine on. Disco music starts to play loudly and proudly as the Disco Ball levitates and spins to create a dancing atmosphere like those in the '60s and '70s.

"Greetings to you all my brothers and sisters in fur!" The lion leader of the group says at full volume. "I am Grand Master Funk and those wonderful blood brothers of mine are the Boogie Bandits! We are here to give you a truly funky existence with the help of my patented Funkatron! So relax, and get ready to PARTY!"

With that the lights turn absolutely rainbow on the Funkatron and people start dancing to the music. Under the influence of the machine everyone in the front is compelled to dance with various degrees of control over their own bodies. Grand Master Funk and his Boogie Bandits have full control and use the oppurtunity to rob everyone in the as the office are compelled to do other things.

Stinkbomb is getting ready to change in his superhero costume when Sunday starts stripping. The fact that Al is enticed should be rather obvious as Sunday goes down on him. Back on Kraken Island, Amazon and Marauder are not exactly dressed for action.

Grand Master Funk and Boogie Bandits rob the bank blind without a single casualty. The effects of the Funkatron linger for an hour after they leave. Al is embarrassed when he cums as he fucks Sunday on her desk but his partner is ashamed when she finally comes to her senses with a skunk taking her in a way that is most unseemly.

"What," Sunday asks as she gets redressed. "What just happened?" I was interviewing you..."

"Miss Pentecost," Angus Whitehorn, towering black bull and a bank vice president, says as he walks into the office. "We just got hit by another super villain attacker," then he notices Al. "Alouicious "Stinkbomb" Einstein, I presume?"

"Good day to you, Mister Whitehorn," Al says respectfully. "Miss Pentecost was interviewing me when Grand Master Funk arrived to make his withdrawal. How much was their take? Besides too much that is."

"Despite the lawlessness of it," Whitehorn growls as if what he has to say is so distasteful that he has to spit out the words. "We will be needing your services for the near future. How many are in your team?"

"Currently my team, consists of Marauder, formerly Marauder three, Amazon, not the cheetah but another bitch who is Marauder's wife and myself. But for Grand Master Funk I can probably convince Horde to join us."

"Very good," Whitehorn says neutrally. "Does your group have a name or do I use your code names?"

"Actually," Al says honestly. "We never gave it that much thought. Amazon and Marauder are the ones that do the fighting."

"More concern with getting the job done than what the media would term you?" Whitehorn asks.

"We try to avoid the media if we can help it." Al states which elicits a smile from Whitehorn.

"Fire Ant and some friends were caught robbing us recently." Whitehorn states. " I believe they and Frostbite had some had business where you say you are based."

"Yeah, we fought them off," Al admits. "But we let the cops take credit for the clean up. Marauder tricked Frostbite into alienating his allies."

"Very nice to hear," Whitehorn says then looks to Pentecost. "Miss Pentecost I want you to draw up a security contract for Mister Einstein and company. I do not need to tell you what your first assignment is do I?"

"May I safely assume you wish us to capture Grand Master Funk along with recovering the stolen funds?" Al asks rhetorically to which the bull just nods. "I'll get right on it."

The contract is simple and straight forward but Al does not actually sign it yet. He tells Whitehorn he will discuss it with his partners and fax it back to them. What he doesn't tell them is that he will scan the contract and have a legality or lawyer program look it over as well.

Meanwhile in an abandoned Disco Palace, Grand Master Funk and his Boogie Bandits enjoy the fruits of their illicit labors with a midnight orgy and rave. One of the bandits, a raccoon, kneels before his master and sucks Funk's cock to the Grand Master's satisfaction. The mirror ball is rotating and disco music plays as they have a gay old time.

Grand Master Funk takes on all cummers and fills them with his hot seed again and again. Eventually the cops are called in including at least one older cop who drops dead from exhaustion as Grand Master Funk's Funkatron has them dancing until they drop. It's then that the S.W.A.T. team is called in.

Stepping out of the shadows of the building is Marauder and Amazon who attempt to infiltrate the building. The DJ booth is upstairs and it is here they strike. Against her better judgment Amazon has switched out gun for a taser mace.

Marauder pulls off a new trick as he casts a sleep spell on the DJ that causes Amazon to give him a funny look. Using toys that Stinkbomb developed for them the music fueling this madness to heavy metal and proto-metal. Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath and AC/DC among other bands takes over from the Village People, ABBA, Kiss's disco album and other artists associated with disco.

"Metal!?!" Funk growls. "Who put this shit on?"

"We did, Funk!" Amazon yells as she launches herself into the fray of about ten Boogie Bandits.

"Disco's Dead, Funk!" Marauder yells as he dives for Funk with electrified claws. "Don't make me send you to join it!"

"Crazy Mutha Fucka!" Funk screams as he takes up his pimp cane. "You fuzz just don't learn do you?"

Funk blocks Marauder's attack but gets shocked for the effort. Amazon cleans house with her mace. Marauder reels when Funk gets a good shot in but then the lights go off.

A silhouette of a pregnant bitch moves through the crowd slashing rather indiscriminately. Amazon feels the blade hit her shield but little else. When the lights come back on half of the twenty Bandits are still standing with many bisected by a ninja's blade.

Marauder gets a good slash on Grand Master Funk's chest before the tear gas fills the room as it is shot in by the SWAT team prior to them coming in en masse. Deciding that discretion is the better part of valor, the dogs shadow walk out of there as quickly as possible. It's when they walk out of the shadows on Kraken Island that Amazon asks her questions.

"What the fuck did you pull back there?" Grizelda growls. "You've never used magic before..."

"I'm trying something new," Garren admits. "I'm apparently one of Kazam the Mystic's unavowed grandchildren. My mother was a Morrigan."

"You're a cousin to that sorcerous psychopath in Dar Myrrosha?" Zelda asks with a stare of disbelief. "What else can you do that you haven't told me yet?"

"I'm not even sure how much of a grasp I have on the magic thing, hon," Gary admits freely. "What we did tonight was a test."

"O.K. You're still developing this ability," Zelda says with a nod. "Is this why you locked yourself in the old testing range and wouldn't talk to me about it?"

"Yeah, I didn't want you freaking out on me and our son." Gary explains. "I know how you can get."

"I know, I'm sorry," Zelda says as she hugs her husband. "I'll give you your space. I take it this was going to be a surprise for our foes?"

"Yeah, especially those that know me as the third Beowulf." Gary says with a smirk. "But was that with the black out and the pregnant bitch?"

"Could it have been Kunoichi?" Zelda asks. "And if it was, is the pup yours?"

"More than likely," Gary admits as they walk inside. "We were intimate frequently back stage. Can you handle?"

"I've been dealing since that season began," Zelda says. "You looked rather chummy with Kunoichi and American Amazon."

"Yeah, and I was having three ways like you and Dotty gave me," Gary says before hanging his head in shame. "Dotty..."

"Come on," Zelda says as she leads them to their quarters. "We'll make a daughter to...honey, who's the rat?"

"Owen Money!" Garren thunders. "When did you get in? I take it you know who's here?"

"Yeah, Gary, Al told me and I got here as soon as I could." Owen "Horde" Money, a gray rat in Rapper's bling, says, "I hate that fucker! You want me, count me in for this case at least."

"Are you waiting for Gary or Al?" Zelda asks with annoyance. "Gary and I need some quality time together."

Grizelda leads Garren off as Owen watches. Owen has a rude and lustful smirk on his face as he leers at her. It's only with Al giving him a smack upside the back of his head that stops him from mentally undressing her.

"What!?!" Owen growls to Alouicious. "I look, I'm a guy, whadda ya want?"

"Owen, I'm only going to say this once," Al states. "She's married to Gary, they have a son already and she's ex-special forces."

"Gary's got a pup already?" Owen asks incredulously. "The man works fast I can tell you that. Chika bow wow!"

Cathy Dennis's "My Beating Heart" plays in the showers as the pair ritualistically cleanse each other with certain body parts getting extra special attention as Amber's "Sexual" plays immediately after. It's almost ironic that as they finish washing Utada Hikaru's "Simple and Clean" plays but it's a kind weird harmony as her song "Sanctuary" plays as Gary's phallus invades her body as he licks at her tits. While he does somewhat time himself to the music he takes his time making love to his wife sensuously slow.

Both wolves are intent on each other than their surroundings as Zelda gently rides Gary's pole until the knot fully inflates. As the knot does its inflation the couple grind their hips more than the vertical movement they had done up to this point.

Grizelda's inner walls work on Garren's trapped penis as he goes to work on her breasts. Zelda's breasts respond to all the attention by leaking milk for him to drink. Trapped as it is, Gary's member squirts cream into her almost as if in exchange for the milk.

Momentarily lost in his own mind, Gary feels guilty as he remembers how he and Mikiko would make love. The that the Human League's "Human" (or rather it's equivalent in an all furry world) plays in the background doesn't help. Unbeknown st to them, Mikiko has hacked into their feed and is watching.

Mikiko cries in her hotel room as she and Gary would make love to this very song when it was just the two of them and Tabitha was banging some executive to help them keep sponsors as Dragon video taped the session for the client's amusement. She turns the vibrator she secretly had made based on Gary's cock. The vibrations causes her unborn child to stir as she rubs her belly.

Outside the bridge is a flashback to the psychedelic '60s as the Boogie Bandits picket a protest to warmongers. In the control center, Owen is about to go ballistic when Al opens up some trap doors that sends the protesters into the tunnels deep underground and where the spider rats lurk. Not even their screams escape as packs of the monster eat the protesters alive.

Grand Master Funk drives a psychedelically painted Volkswagen but to crash the gates. In the bus paisley painted partisans ready AK-47s as they prepare to storm the base. But they didn't count on Stinkbomb's trap of opening the gate to let them into the bridge but activating the trap door to drop the bus into the drink and the waiting arms of the kraken itself.

"Geez, Al!" Horde exclaims in a Brooklyn accent. "How much of dis place do you know how to play with?"

"He has help of course," a holographic badger scientist says. "Greetings, Horde, I'm Brom the ghost in the machine so to speak."

"This is the dead guy you was tellin me about, Al?" Owen asks irreverantly to which Al just nods. "Nice to meet ya, Brom."

"Nice to meet you as well," Brom says with a smirk. "Stinkbomb we have an unauthorized user in our systems."

"Can't be Funk," Stinkbomb muses. "I just sent his Peace Police Van to the bottom of Kraken Bay. Can you trace the signal?"

"I have been triyng to but it is a tankled skein to unravel." Brom admits with an exasperated sigh. "It goes through many relays. Including a few locations in Japan."

"Mikiko!" Owen and Al says as one.

"Kunoichi is keeping tabs on us?" Brom asks to which both nod. " Shall I inform Master Garren?"

"To a degree he already knows," Stinkbomb states. "He and Zelda met an Akita ninja bitch in the tunels who was using twin pistols; same clan marking as Mikiko."

"I thought she washed her hands of us?" Horde asks.

Al shrugs. "Who knows? I gave up trying to figure out females a long time ago."

"Warp breach on the main grounds!" Brom shouts as a warning. "It looks like Grand Master Funk is more resourceful than we gave him credit for."

"Geez, Louise!" Horde whines. "When is this bad trip gonna end?"

Al is annoyed. "All right, I'm not disturbing Gary and Zelda for this. Come on, Owen, let's take these guys down ourselves."

Owen makes himself into five rats that salute Stinkbomb rather than verbally answer. Together they para glide down to confront the van. Grand Master Funk and twenty-four Boogie Bandits pile out of the van which blares Disco era anti-war songs as Grand Master Funk and crew all take out switchblades.

Horde becomes twenty rats armed with tonfa nightsticks as Stinkbomb throws gas grenades before switching to a high tech electrified nunchuks the rabbits, raccoons and dogs of the Boogie Bandits scream "Police Brutality!" when they get hit but they go down easy enough. But there is reduction of force as another twenty bats and cats come out of the van to take their place.

Each and every time Stinkbomb and Horde manage to reduce the number of minions the van dumps out more flunkies. Horde is at his limit in the number of clones he can maintain. Fortunately every time they take down one of his selves he can replace them.

A news helicopter hovers overhead as the battle continues. Culture Club, Ozzy Ozzbourne, Duran Duran and other 80s music blares throught the speakers to counter the effect of Grand Master Funk's machines but the result is a stalemate. It island's automated defense come on-line only to be destroyed or shoot only flowers by thrown Boogie Bombs.

Grand Master Funk finds Stinkbomb as the latter releases tear gas while wearing a gas mask. As they fight mano e mano neither one can get an edge in. Meanwhile endless stream of minions of every type of fur exits the van as a Boogie Bandit.

Dressed in his usual combat uniform of black bodysuit, boots, gloves and belt Marauder pops up into the fight. He goes through minions like paper in fire on his way to take on Grand Master Funk. Then a sniper takes out Funk.

The van and the space around it warps as in on an acid trip. When it stops Grand Master Funk exits the van to fight again. His target when he comes out is Marauder as a gang of ten goes after Stinkbomb.

Stinkbomb barely holds off the Boogie Bandits with a series of moves stole from Bruce Lee as "Kung Fu Fighting" starts to play. Back in the base a pissed off Amazon aims a stinger missile at the van. Several Boogie Bandits sacrifice themselves for the van who are replaced moments later.

As the song finishes Marauder kills Funk. As the van warps, Amazon targets it again. This time when Funk steps out the van is destroyed. Defeated, Funk and his followers escape via a portal to wherever or whenever they came from.

"You turkeys haven't seen the last of me!" Grand Master Funk vows at full volume as he strides into his portal and shaking a fist in defiance. "I'll be back better than ever! You'll see! You'll see!"

Most of the money stolen was recovered by the police which led the bank to at first forget about the contract it had signed. But a leaked rumor to the press caused enought of a scandal to force them to honor their agreement. Whitehorn publicly groused that it was legal piracy but a lot of the folks they had screwed over in the past with legal loan sharking held a banquet in honor of the heroes which they attended as Kiss's "Raise Your Glasses" played loudly, proudly and prominently.