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Resolutions (Part 7)

July: Work and Breaks

By Al Song

July 27th, 2015

At the end of last month I started working at my mom's clothing store again for the summer along with Doris and Laura, and a few others. It was definitely fun talking about television shows with them and listening to their latest gossip about people who I had never actually met before. When it came to the actual work they were the ones talking to the customers about what to wear and what were the latest trends in women's fashion. I mostly unpacked boxes, talked on the phone to people that wanted to return stuff, and stood behind the cash register among other tasks like cleaning and lifting stuff. It was definitely nice of my mom to let me make some extra cash, even if I didn't actually need it at the moment, but at least I could save it for a rainy day or I could go out and eat more.

I also got to keep my job at the Ames undergraduate library during the summer, which I definitely loved. It was usually quiet and shelving books was always a calm activity that I enjoyed. If I told a group in a study room that they needed to keep it down they listen to me and if they don't the security guards could always escort them out.

It was a sunny Monday and during my shift I was working at the information desk. I was just on my laptop looking at comics written in French and Italian. There weren't very many people at the library that day and no one had many questions. The campus was usually empty during summer quarter compared to the rest of the year so of course the libraries wouldn't be so busy either.

Nathan sat near me reading a novella in French called "Les Temps imparfaits" and I was getting off work soon. I took a look at him and how thoughtful he looked and how sullen he seemed. The book wasn't on any reading list I had yet but from Nathan's reaction it seemed like one of the books that was a tragic downer and was also written by a middle aged, rich, straight, European guy with an elitist view of the world and had no idea what discrimination felt like.

"What's up?" he asked and turned his head towards me and cocked it. There were still traces of sorrow left awash in his eyes.

"You look upset," I said examining the hurt in his countenance. "Is it from the book?"

"Yeah, it's touching."

"What's it about?"

"A fennec fox who immigrates from Algeria to France and finds out that she has feelings for a doe, who's trying to help her get her life set up. I looked up the author, Fatima Sahnoune, who's also a fennec fox, and her website talked about how tough life was when she immigrated and she definitely channels a lot of pain through the book," the black wolf said with the same sullenness in his face.

I kept the concern on my own face but then I felt a pang of guilt for judging the author before I even knew who they were.

"It sucks that she can't come out and that people treat her like garbage even though she speaks French fluently but has an accent, and she constantly needs to put up with sexism too. It's a lot deal with," he said as his ears drooped lower.

"I'm sorry about all of that. It must be pretty rough for her," I said then reconsidered my words. "I mean... I'm trying to say something sympathetic and I'm not sure what to say."

"No, it's stupid. I'm getting all worked up over a character. You understand the whole homophobia part."

"Well, it seems like the character is based off the author and people have to go through a lot of prejudice and discrimination. It's a good thing that you're feeling something from the book since it shows that you care and that's the kind of person you are."

"Thank you," he said and smiled at me, which I returned.

"Hey, Wes, I'm here to take over now," a panda in a long green skirt and a t-shirt with cartoon passports and stamps scattered on it.

"Thanks, Shannon. I'll see you tomorrow," I said as I hopped of the tall chair and shoved my books and my laptop in my gray satchel.

"Bye, see you then," she replied and set her laptop up on the silver desk. "Nice t-shirt by the way. We kind of match." She pointed to the world map strewn across my torso and then outstretched her own shirt.

"Aw, that's kind of you to say," I said back to her.

Nathan and I walked out of the tall brick building and he held the doors for me.

"Thanks," I said.

"No problem," the wolf replied.

"I actually got a compliment on my clothes today," I said with a smile. "Hmm, maybe that's another part of my life that's improving... or maybe she just said that because we were both wearing a travel theme on our clothes."

"It's a nice outfit."

"I'm wearing jeans and a t-shirt," I said plainly.

"The black silhouette of the continents and your black jeans match. Your bag is a neutral color so it goes along with that. You're also wearing a lime green belt with the same colored sneakers, so that's a splash of color."

"You always dress nicely. It's always so... nautical." I wasn't sure how to characterize it and he just smiled back at me.

"I was in the navy and I love the feeling of salt water in my fur... and freshwater too. Boat shoes are also nice since they stop me from slipping."

"How was watching me work today?" I asked as we walked further through the campus.

"It was nice. I made another dent in the story."

"I definitely like you hanging around me. I live being able to talk to someone when I get bored." I then yawned and outstretched my arms.

"Tired?" he asked. "You've been yawning a lot today."

"I'm kind of achy and I feel like I've been working too much and I haven't had as much free time as I had hoped for so I've been staying up. During the weekends I dread the upcoming week even though my jobs aren't very hard. I know that I should be thankful for having work and I shouldn't be complaining about something so stupid, but I'm still just tired," I said as I frowned.

"You're allowed to feel tired. No one can take that away from you. I mean there are so many people in the world that are suffering and people who have very difficult lives and we shouldn't forget that, but if something negative happens to someone then they're allowed to feel bad."

"I guess so but a part of me feels like I'm just being petty."

"It's not petty if you're feeling like life's getting tough," he said and patted me on the back.

"It's summer break and I don't feel like I'm actually taking a break. I mean I don't have any homework and I don't need to study for any tests, but it still doesn't feel like a vacation."

"Would hanging out with you at work some more help?" the wolf asked.

"Well, yeah. I love spending time with you."

"Maybe asking for fewer hours might help, since you'll get more free time, or you could ask for a week off at both places to get your bearings back," he suggested calmly and kindly.

"That might help."

"Why did you take on the second job?"

"I guess I took it because my mom wanted me to and I wanted to help her out. And I still feel bad that I didn't spend more time with her and my dad," I said and grimaced.

"Hey, they'll be back. You'll have more time to be with them."

"That's true."

I then hugged Nathan and he held me back. I then felt a gentle sense of warmth in my chest and stomach slowly flowing across my body.

"You want to go to 'Purine Café' today?" Nathan asked.

"Sure thing."

As we walked through campus we saw that the new swing set was finally finished. The frame was painted blue with a large red plastic seat and silver chains holding it up.

"Hey, wanna take a ride on the swing?" Nathan asked and pointed at the structure with his thumb.

"Sure," I replied with a smile.

The two of us sat down on the seat and we started to pump our legs. The world swayed underneath us and I started feeling warmth inside my core again. This area of campus looked empty and I leaned against Nathan and smiled. I closed my eyes and took in his scent. He put his arm around me and I felt my cheeks getting warm.

"Having fun?" he asked.

"I always have fun with you."

"On your breaks we can come here."

"I'd like that. I'd like it a lot."

-To be continued...