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Things started to brighten up as the week passed by. I had no idea what would happen but I thought it was meaningless to worry about it. All I could do was to wait and see. I called Nikki that Wednesday to check up on her and even though nothing new was revealed, Nikki seemed to be doing a little better once we kept in touch. I didn't want to smother her by calling her five times a day because that was exactly what she didn't need. So what exactly did she need? I figured she needed time and distraction by doing things she loved to do. And I thought that we could take her out, just to have fun and for her to loosen up when she felt ready to do so. I didn't think it would be so easy for me to hang out with her again, but hey, what else is new? And as for me...? Well, I just had to keep on going like I always did...

Blain was attending his cousin's birthday that friday evening so in order for me to keep myself busy without him around, I was watching a movie in my room, stuffing myself with Dorito's and having laugh fits from the movie that I was watching...

'Mikey, check out that girl over there, man...'

'I told you, it's Big Pimpin' Mac Daddy G now.'

'Whatever, check her out...!'

'Ooooh, she's pretty...! She's coming towards us...!!'

'Hi!'

'Uhm...'

'You saw that? She just walked straight by us!'

'Stuck-up wench... Call her again to get her attention.'

'Hi! ... Hey, girl! ... Girl!! ...Hey, you!! ... Hey!! ... HEY BITCH!!!'

'Oh, now she's looking!'

'What's wrong with you, woman?! You deaf or something?! I SAID, ARE YOU DEAF?!!'

'... Is she nodding?'

'... Oh. Ooooh...! Mikey, she's deaf, dude! I'm sorry, I didn't know that! I SAID I DID NOT KNOW THAT!! NO, MIKEY DIDN'T KNOW THAT EITHER!!'

'I'm sure yelling at her won't make her hear us any better.'

I've seen this movie before but it never gets old... "Turn up the heat!" is a movie about two friends trying to get laid with females in heat during spring break but they're a couple of losers with an attitude problem. The slapstick comedy situations they get themselves into are hilarious... Doritos were pretty much flying across the room at that particular scene... But that's what you get when you got my stupid sense of humour...

'Hi, cutie...'

'Whu, what?'

'She called you a cutie!'

'Oh man, I knew it...! She totally wants the D...!!'

'Hi, cutie...'

'Now she's talking to a tree.'

'... Ah.'

'And humping a lamppost.'

As I was pretty much laughing my ass off and almost fell off my bed in doing so, I heard my mobile phone going off so I quickly paused the movie and saw in the display of my phone that Meagan was calling. Once I answered, Meagan sounded a little glum...

'Hello?'

'Hi, Ceylan, it's me...'

'Hey, Meg! what's up, how you doing?'

'Yeah, I'm okay... You?'

'I'm good, I'm watching a movie by myself.'

'Oooh, I see...'

'Is everything alright...?'

'Yeah, I'm just... You know... Calling to check up on you too... I can imagine it wasn't easy for you as well... I just wanted to know how you were doing...'

'I'm doing fine, Meg...'

'Alright... That's good to hear...'

'Hm-mm... So how's Nikki doing?'

'She's okay... Terry's gonna stop by later on so that the two of them can talk... So, uhm...'

'That's good, right...?'

'Yeah! Yeah, absolutely! So, uhm... I think it would be best for them to be alone so I got out of the house for a while...'

'Hm... Where are you right now...?'

'Gainsborough Boulevard...'

'Are you alone...?'

'Yeah... I thought it would be a good idea to leave the house so that Terry and Nikki can talk until I realized I have nowhere to go...'

'So you're just sitting there, killing time...?'

'Hm-mm... And I was just wondering if you have any plans for tonight...'

It stayed quiet for a moment when it had me thinking... Meagan and I couldn't get along with each other in the past but once we stopped fighting, we got to know each other a lot better... And with everything that was going on with Nikki, Meagan and I were closer than we ever were before... Except I never saw her whenever Nikki wasn't around... And I know she's lonely... Perhaps the loniest person I know... And it's sad because she's the kind of girl who doesn't have to be... She was always reaching out to others and yet they never reached back... So I figured I shouldn't be turning her down...

'No, I don't have any plans actually... You feel like hanging out?'

'I'd like that...'

'Awesome! I'll get ready then and I'll head your way.'

'Sure thing. You know a place where we can meet up?'

'There's a bar called O'Malley's, you know the place?'

'Yeah, I've been there before. It's not too far from here.'

'Alright, I'll see you there.'

'Sure thing.'

'See ya in a bit!'

'Bye!'

I had no idea what the two of us were supposed to do but I just thought we'll see when we get there. I quickly freshened myself up, got my things and told Simon and Catherine I was going out... I got in my car and I was on my way...

Once I parked my car on the parking lot and arrived at O'Malley's, I went inside. The place itself wasn't that crowded because it was still early. Usually, it gets a lot more crowded at eleven. Anyway, it didn't take long for me to spot Meagan, sitting at the bar playing with her mobile phone. I couldn't help but to admire her from a distance first though... "Sweet jesus, those legs..." That was the first thing I noticed... She was wearing a black skirt that reached just above her knees but sitting on a barstool revealed those succulent thighs and muscled calfs... How I'd love to bury my head in between and dive for pearls... Honestly... You could tell she wasn't wearing a bra underneath her spaghetti top with the way those firm puppies were hanging... She stroked her long, black hair and had a beautiful smile on her face as she was staring at the display of her phone... Once I got to the bar, I sat down next to her... Meagan looked up and her bright green eyes sparkled once they were fixated on me... And again, that same beautiful smile except this time, it was directed at me... My heart skipped a beat when she did and I almost didn't know what to say... Nevertheless, I tried to play cool... It's funny how this never happened to me before, but then again, we met under different circumstances then...

'Hi, Ceylan...'

"That sultry voice... Fffffffffffffffffffffuck..."

'H-Hi! Uhm... How you doing?'

'I'm okay, thanks. How are you?'

'Fine, fine, yeah!'

'Well, that's good! Hihi... I'm glad you're here, that guy over there is keeping tabs on me ever since I got here...'

'Which guy?'

'That huskey guy with the blue shirt and glasses...'

'Oh, he's handsome...'

'He is, yeah...'

'Looks like he's the only one in his group of friends with no lady sitting next to him...'

'Sooooooo you're saying...?'

'He's definitely single. If you're not gonna make a move on him, he's gonna make a move on you sooner or later.'

'If we keep looking at him, he will, eventually...'

'You don't want him to come over?'

'N-No, no, absolutely not...! I'm terrible at this...!'

'Whadda ya mean, you're terrible at this? What's wrong with getting to know someone?'

'It's just that it's making me feel a little uncomfortable...'

'But he is handsome, isn't he?'

'Yeah, definitely...'

'Well, what are you waiting for?! Come on, invite him over, get to know him!'

'No, no, no... I-I really shouldn't... I can't...'

Nevertheless, Meagan kept staring in the direction of where that guy was sitting with his group of friends... It's obvious she liked him for his looks... The only question remained if this guy was a total douchebag or not... Only one way to find out, I suppose... Every time the two of them made eye contact, one of them averted their eyes... When they finally did made eye contact, Meagan was smiling while she didn't even realized it... And when she finally did, it was already too late... The guy was looking right at her... It's obvious that they like each other... All they needed was a little push... So I put my thumb up and smiled at him... At that moment, the guy got up from his seat, said something to his friends and made his way towards us... And when Meagan saw he was coming towards us, she became a nervous wreck and turned her head... I normally thought that girls are usually very confident about these kind of things but I never expected Meagan to be so insecure about herself... Nevertheless, it takes a lot of courage to approach a girl out of the blue just like that... I liked him already for doing so...

'Good evening, ladies, how are you doing?'

'Hi there! I'm Ceylan and this is my friend Meagan.'

'Hi, Meagan! I'm Thomas.'

'Hi...'

'It's nice to meet you, Thomas.'

'Likewise! How's your evening going?'

'Yeah, so far, so good, I suppose. Actually, we didn't have any plans, so we figured we'd go for a drink.'

'Ah, that's great! Nothing's better to kick off the weekend with a bunch friends, right?'

'Exactly! So what brings you here tonight, Thomas?'

'My friends and I are celebrating my graduation! '

'Oh, that's great! Congratulations!'

'Thank you!'

'What did you major in?'

'Aeronautical engineering.'

'Really?? So you deal with technological aspects of aircrafts?'

'Haha, yes, pretty much everything from design to the construction and development of an aircraft. I was an intern at Lockheed Martin.'

'Wow, that's awesome! Aren't those guy making military planes?'

'They do, yes.'

'Wow, that is SO cool... Seriously, the only plane I ever got to build was like, a paper airplane.'

'Haha! That's how I started'

'Congratulations, it must've been really hard work getting this far.'

'Absolutely. What about you, are you studying or working full-time?'

'I'm studying at Antonelli's as a system administrator.'

'Computers?'

'Yes, it's about maintaining and operating a network infrastructure.'

'And dealing with users who can't find the "Any" key?'

'Haha! Yes, and questions like "are emails also delivered on sundays?".'

'Well, they're always in need of people who understand something most people cannot comprehend.'

'Hehehe...'

Meagan looked at Thomas and she was listening all along... I could see in her eyes that she was oh so nervous to talk to him but considering the way she looked at him, I just knew she wanted to get to know him. There was no denying it... Every time they were looking at each other, I could see her smile but something held her back... So I tried my best to break the ice between the two of them...

'So, Thomas... Can I ask you something?'

'Sure.'

'How come you're the only one not accompanied by a lady in your group of friends?'

'Some people play hard to get, I'm just hard to want.'

'Haha! Don't be like that! Surely there must be some girl who has her eye on you.'

'No, seriously. I've had a few drinks otherwise I wouldn't even have managed to bring up the courage to approach two beautiful ladies like yourselves.'

'Hihi, awwwww! You're quite the charmer, aren't you? You hear that, Meg, he thinks we're beautiful.'

'Hihi...'

'You'll have to excuse my friend here, she gets kind of nervous when a cute guy is around.'

'Haha!'

'Especially when she likes him back.'

I swear, the moment I said that, Meagan's head turned as red as tomato and if looks could kill, I'd be pushing up daisies ten feet below ground. But once Thomas looked at Meagan and smiled at her, she was smiling right back at him... I shrugged and had an innocent smile on my face the moment Meagan faced me again... Thomas scraped his throat and had a nervous smile on his face the moment he faced Meagan...

'So, uhm... What do you like to do in your free time?'

'O-Oh, uhm... Well, I, uhm... I-I like to play guitar... I love music and watch movies... I like to put in my headphones and go for a jog through the forests... And I occasionally enjoy a good book...'

'Really? You play guitar too?'

'Oh yes! I play acoustic guitar!'

'Nice! I play electric, I've been at it for five years now. How long have you been playing?'

'Sixteen years...'

'Oh wow, that's great! You must know quite a few songs then! Do you improvise or cover any existing songs?'

'I like to improvise but I can also play several songs. Do you know Tears in Heaven?'

'Eric Clapton? Of course! I love that song! The story behind it is even sadder...'

'It's really emotional... That's the great thing about music. It can have different meanings to people.'

'True...'

'Any favourite bands or guitarists that you really like?'

'Definitely! Carlos Santana, Jimi Hendrix, Mark Knopfler!'

'Mark Knopfler? From the Dire Straits?'

'Yes! Him!'

'He's amazing at strumming a few strings. What's that one song called from him...? A well known song?'

'Sultans of Swing?'

'No, uhm... What it is!'

'Oh yeah!'

All it took was a simple nudge in the right direction to loosen her up... She was nervous at first but once they found a click, the two of them were talking about all sorts of things. They shared a hobby together, which is always good and it eventually led to other topics of interests... The two of them were talking for a good hour and things were going very well between them. I just listened to their conversation and every once in a while, I stepped in and gave them something new to talk about by asking a question to either one of them... And they simply picked up where I left off... Meagan seemed to have had a good time with him... Enjoyed his company, talking to him and to forget all of her worries... It felt good to have seen her like that... So happy and carefree for just one night in her life... Sometimes, that's all it takes... But when things started to get a little personal, Meagan wasn't so confident about herself anymore...

Thomas started to ask if she had anyone special in her life... And I know it's a touchy subject for her... She quietly uttered that she was single and that she hasn't been in a relationship for well over six years... He saw the topic was making her feel uncomfortable so he quickly changed it... Instead, Thomas started to ask her if she was still in college or working full-time... And of course, when she said that she was working full-time, the question came what she did for a living... Another thing that's a bit of a touchy subject... And I know why... So I tried my best to change topics but when you meet someone, you want to know more about the person you're meeting... Any attempts at changing the topic to him failed because he was keen on getting to know her... Nevertheless, Meagan tried to answer his questions in the most vaguely way possible... It only led to more questions from him... And it eventually caused Meagan to tell lies about herself... She didn't like doing so... But I understand why she did it... Her eyes were sparkling when he approached her but that was slowly dieing off the more lies she told... At first, she seemed to have believed them but the longer she was at it, the more she doubted herself, to the point she could hardly believe the things she was telling him... And at some point, Meagan couldn't take it anymore... She got up from her seat and went to the women's restroom as quickly as she could... Thomas stared her after, looking very puzzled...

'Uhm... Was it something I said?'

'No, I don't think so...'

'Ooooh... Okay...

'I'm gonna check up on her.'

'Sure...'

I got to the women's restroom and once I opened the door, I could hear her sobbing quietly in one of the stalls... I closed the door behind me and besides us, there was no one else... Once I stopped in front of the stall she was hiding in, I gently knocked on the door... But there was no response at first... After a while, I knocked again on the door...

'Meagan...? You okay...?'

Meagan didn't respond after that... It stayed quiet for a while until I heard the bathroom stall door unlock and she came out... Her eyes were red the moment she faced me and her mascara was running down her cheeks...

'I thought I was supposed to feel something, Ceylan...'

'What do you mean...?'

'To feel good about myself when I finally meet a guy who's interested in me...'

'You guys seem to get along just fine... He seems to be having a good time with you...'

'Guys having a good time with me is what I do, Ceylan... The only difference with Thomas is that I'm not getting paid for it...'

Meagan wiped her eyes and sighed quietly... She bit her lips and closed her eyes and the tears were rolling down her face once more... I scraped my throat and averted my eyes from her when she said that... It stayed quiet for a moment until Meagan broke the silence...

'How the hell can anyone trust you when you know that everything you tell them is a lie...?'

'They don't know it's a lie you're telling them...'

'But I know it is, Ceylan! I know what I'm doing for a living! I can't go on keeping up appreances when I like a guy back! I-I can't do this!'

'Heh...'

'I want to feel what it's like to be in love again! To know how special someone can make me feel! To have someone to share my hopes and dreams with! And if there is a guy out there who respects me for who I am, he certainly will NOT respect WHAT I am! I can't go on lying to people, especially when the feelings are mutual! And even if they didn't know, I still would!'

'What about Thomas...?'

'I like him and I'd love to get to know him b-but I can't! I can't give in to it because I know I'll be lying on my backside for eight hours a day for men who pay me to do so, for six fucking days a week, to pay off a debt that wasn't even my own to begin with!'

'I see...'

'Everything is just... Empty, hollow and meaningless to me... Even now, when there's a guy who likes me back... I'm supposed to feel something... I should feel happy that a guy I like wants to get to know me better... But I just can't...'

'Is that why you shut people out of your life...? The reason why you're lonely...?'

'I have to...'

'It happened before, hasn't it...?'

'Heh... I had to let him go a, long time ago...'

'But you didn't want to...'

'No... At work, guys are looking at me like I'm a piece of meat, thinking how much of a great lay I am... Wondering if I'm worth their hard earned cash... And then there's this guy who likes me for who I am... A guy who shows interest and is keen on getting to know me... A guy who treats me with respect... I can't commit myself to him if I'm fucking six or more clients a day...'

'Heh...'

'Some clients say degrading things that really hurt my feelings whenever I'm busy with them... I ask them to stop and they do but... They've already said it, you know...? I look in a mirror and realize they're right... I AM a fucking whore, Ceylan... So... Perhaps it's only fair that I get treated like one...'

'Hm...'

'The thing is... What I hear from my clients, what I think of myself and what I hear from someone who likes me are contradicting... You just don't know what to believe anymore... Or which feelings to trust... I'll only end up hurting myself or someone else if I try to commit myself to someone... And that's why I'm better off alone... That's why I can't be with someone...'

Meagan wiped her eyes once more and when she did, she smudged her mascara all over her hand... When she to got the sink to wash her hands, she looked at herself in the mirror for a moment... She quickly washed her hands and turned around, leaning on the sink... Meagan faced the floor as her mind was occupied with thoughts... She closed her eyes and covered her face with her hand and she started sobbing quietly again... It was so sad to see... I grabbed a couple of tissue and wiped the remaining smudged mascara off her face... The way she looked at me was, uhm... Confronting, moving... Heartwrenching... Her eyes said a lot... Almost begging me to come up with a way to get her out of this situation she's been in for six years... But I didn't have any... She looked so hopeless, so broken and hurt from everything... It really moved me... Seeing her like this made me shed a tear myself...

'C'mere...'

I walked up to her and with my hand around her back, I held her close... As she placed her hands around my back, Meagan rested her head against my shoulder, crying her eyes out... It's bad enough she got in this situation... But her dignity and self-esteem got shot to pieces to the point she considered herself to be worhtless... That she's not good enough for anyone... And I was glad I was there that night... To have held her... To be someone she considered a friend... To be someone she doesn't have to lie to...

Meagan and I stood there for a long time holding each other close... I kept kissing her cheek and caressed her hair while I quietly whispered to her that it was okay to cry... And once she finally managed to calm down, I grabbed a few tissues again to wipe her eyes... I placed my hands on her shoulders and looked straight at her...

'Not everything you do define you for who you are, Meagan... Things are tough, I know... But you should also know that this will not last forever...'

'But I can't build up my life like this, Ceylan... I had to drop out of college because of it... I can't have someone of my own... I don't have my own house... I lie to people and to those who care for me... How the hell can anyone live on like that...?'

'But you don't lie to me...'

'No...'

'I can imagine you want to shut people out... They either hurt you or you will hurt them... But the thing is, we need people around to help us get through... People who can make us forget about our worries... To have someone to share your burdens with... You may not be able to give in to it now but you can and you will, some day, when you're ready...'

'Heh...'

'Don't give up on yourself because you've got so much more to offer... You're an incredibly beautiful young lady, Meagan... You've got everything most girls envy you for... It shouldn't stop you from meeting new people and making friends... Don't think so low of yourself... Because you and I both know better than that... We know who you are...'

'You speak from experience, don't you...?'

'I always pictured it as if I'm writing a novel...'

'What do you mean...?'

'It's your own story you're writing... Don't end it like this... See to it that you bring it to a happy end...'

'Is that what you did...?'

'Trust me when I say that it's never too late to build up your life... A friend of mine once told me that a ship is safe in its own harbour but it's not meant to stay there... Don't be afraid to let people in on your life... They'll need you just as much as you need them, even though it might not always seem like that...'

'I see...'

'What you're doing for a living now doesn't reflect your life in the far future... Focus on what makes you happy and hold on to that, no matter the odds... Never let anyone take that away from you, no matter how hopeless it all may seem...'

'Heh...'

'After all, how can you fall in love with someone if you don't even love yourself for who you are...?'

'I know...'

'Look ahead and know what you can accomplish... But you'll have to ask yourself what you need to do in order to get there... And it's not always fun and games... It's not always going to be easy... But in ten years from now, you'll look back at your life and think that what you did had to happen in order to start a new life...'

'Yeah...'

'So... Don't deny yourself a chance of happiness... Because you, of all people, deserve to have one... Being what you don't want to be to pay off a debt that wasn't even your own to begin with, for forty eight hours a week, six years in a row is very difficult... And the fact that you still keep doing it in order to turn things around for yourself doesn't make you a "fucking whore"... It makes you a winner in my book, Meagan...'

Meagan looked at me with teary eyes and a week smile appeared on her face after I said that... She scraped her throat and wiped her eyes once more when her lips started trembling again... I placed my arms around her back again and held her close once more... She clenched her arms around my back and held me tight as I felt her tears hitting my shoulder...

'N-No one has ever... Uhm... Heh... Thank you... Thank you so much, Ceylan...'

'Any time...'

'Christ, look at me... I'm such a mess...'

'Let's fix you up and head back, okay? I'm sure Thomas is wondering what's taking us so long...'

'Yeah, sure... Let's go back...'

'Alright...'

Meagan splashed some water in her face and dried it with several tissues... The whole bin was stuffed with used tissues I wiped her tears and mascara away earlier on... Once she dried her face, she applied mascara again and beside the red eyes from all the crying she did, she was good to go... She took several deep breaths and smiled at me after she recovered herself and in good spirits, we left the women's bathroom, intending to pick up where we left off...

Once we got out, we looked at our seats at the bar where other people were sitting there, having a drink and a good laugh... Thomas was nowhere to be found... Looking at the table where his group of friends were sitting was no one to be seen... The table was empty... And I forgot we've been in the women's bathroom for over half an hour... He wasn't gonna wait forever... Neither were his friends... Perhaps they thought that we left instead... The courage she build up to go back to him was shattered to pieces when she saw that he was no longer around...

'It's his loss...'

Meagan scraped her throat again and stared at the ground for a moment... She nodded quietly when I said that as she averted her eyes from me while I placed an arm around her shoulder...

'Come on, let's get out of here...'

What was supposed to be a fun night turned rather sour when Meagan got confronted with things she can't escape... Even if other people didn't know, Meagan still did... And with the way you see yourself, you automatically assume that others think the same about you... It's difficult to change the way you think about yourself, even if that image doesn't hold to any truth... Sometimes, you need someone who can break through that... And not only to show, but also make her feel that she's so much more than what she gives herself credit for... The thing with Meagan was that it made me feel so powerless... I couldn't do anything to help pay off her debt or give her a different job that paid just as much... Hearing her story was sad and tragic but it was also inspiring to see how far she would go in order to turn her life around... I can't imagine myself being in her situation and hopefully, I will never have to experience that but if I was, I wouldn't know if I could do what she did... Meagan didn't want to do it but she had to... Her options were limited and it was the fastest way for her in order to pay off her debts... She didn't chose for her situation but she did chose to be a prostitute, knowing the consequences and everything that comes with it... When you know things will get tough when you make a difficult choice and still decide to through with it, I can only say that it takes a lot of courage to do so... I know I couldn't do it if I was in her situation... And the fact that she was still at it six years later made me respect her more than I could ever imagine...