Stupid snakes doing stupid things

Story by pokephilefantasy on SoFurry

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So, after the Edel story, I returned back to something straight, unusual and more comfortably short.

I actually really like snakes, even though I make them oblivious and stupid here. I'm bad at describing it, but their genital area is kinda fascinating to me. But I also really wanted to write about poison in one of these stories too and who better to use for that, than a snake?

Read the tags plz.

Did you like? Did you hate? Don't be shy to tell me~

It's a decide your own ending story btw. You decide for yourself what happens in the end~


Do you like camping? I did, for a really long time. Once in a while, on a free weekend with good weather, I would just grab some stuff and a sleeping bag and move into the nearby woods. Wandering through nature for an hour or two, finding a nice place to set up a small camp, get a small fire going and relax, maybe read a book, then watch the stars and go to sleep, surrounded by the sounds of nature.

Granted, I wasn't a 10 year old on a journey, so these woods, almost in earshot of my hometown, were as far as I could go these days, but camping isn't about distance, its about going out, being prepared and getting some piece and quiet.

It wouldn't be the first time that I'd attract some Pokemon during the night. I guess some just feel naturally attracted to the warmth of a fire.

What I hadn't expected was to wake up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes and feeling something stir in my sleeping bag. No, not that, I could've dealt with some morning wood. What I felt was bigger, covered in rough scales and wrapped around my leg.

Of course, I didn't really take the time to assess the situation in such a calm manner. Had I done so, I might have weighted my options and chose to act calm, carefully and diplomatic with whomever had invaded my privacy during the night. If only...

I believe, my initial reaction, still half asleep, was to cry out in surprise, 'Wah! What the heck.' something like that. Followed by frantic struggles to get out of the sleeping bag and away from what was in it. I don't think I have to tell you that rash and uncoordinated was the worst choice I could have taken. I realized that just a little too late, as I was frantically fumbling at the zipper, unable to get it to open.

Struggling to slip off the sleeping bag, I had awoken whatever was hiding in it. Not surprisingly, it also abstained from keeping a cool head to calmly inquire, why I was making such an uproar so early in the morning.

No, it went for panic reflex as well. Only that its panic reflex wasn't to abandon ship, but instead jamming sharp, needle like teeth into my thighs, right through my boxers, three, maybe four times, before wildly darting around between my legs, looking for a way out after all, I suppose.

The biting really wasn't so bad, but it was accompanied by a hot, searing ache that slowly spread out towards the surrounding flesh.

Gritting my teeth at this sudden pain, I finally managed to open the bag, sliding the zipper open partways, I crawled out of and away from it, turning around just in time to see an Ekans emerge from it.

It looked at me for a moment, before turning away, slithering into some bushes.

'Ekans...' Poison! Reorienting myself, I try to walk to my bag, but I already feel my legs getting heavy, not wanting to move as I want them too. So I crawl, the distance, digging through its contents. 'There!'

Every Camper carries some antidote with them. You never know if you get attacked by a Weedle or run into a Butterfrees Poison Powder. Or get assaulted by a 6'07" purple home invader...

Ekans' poison shouldn't be lethal to adults as long as its being treated, but its definitely nothing to laugh at. And it had bitten me several times. Even with an antidote, I was looking at 4, maybe 5 hours of immobility and even then, I'd have to hurry to a hospital afterwards, to treat a possible infection.

Even though these antidotes are made specifically to counteract various Pokemon's toxins, they only work like instant miracle cures on TV... Part of the reason being that the stuff is ingested, not injected. I guess, on average, its better to have a safe but slow cure, instead of daily stories about children torturing themselves and their Pokemon because they keep stabbing needles through their veins... After all, its rare for these 10 year olds to have visited a nursing school.

I'd have to wait it out and deal with it. Judging by the searing pain fanning out from my leg, it wouldn't be very comfortable.

I could only hope it would lose its sting as it spread out.

I gulp some of the antidote it down, shuddering as the sweet stuff spreads over my tongue. They make it sweet so its easier to stomach, but this was bordering on the absurd... Pulling away my boxers, stained with a bunch of red blots, I inspect the damage done. Blood was seeping from several small bite marks, a grisly display after getting smeared, but nothing tragic - and phew, all the important bits were left unharmed. After pouring some antidote over every bite, washing away most of the blood in the process, I drag myself back towards the sleeping bag. I knew I was going to spend a few hours, I didn't want to spend them on the cold, wet forest floor. My fingers were already tingling, getting numb, as first traces of poison must have completed a round through my bloodstream.

I just about managed to lay down on the isolating material of my sleeping bag before my arms gave out on me, muscles aching now, but not as bad as the leg.

Getting woozy, feeling a headache approach quickly on the horizon, I use the last of my strength to lift the Antidote back to my lips, downing the rest of the bottle, before my arm plopped to the side, numb, heavy, useless, yet still aching somehow.

I laid still, watching the sky above. At least the sky was clear. It wasn't too cold either, a little fresh, but it wouldn't be long before the morning sun would offer some warmth.

Chances were slim that anyone would come and find me, I barely knew anyone in the area who liked camping, or even hiking. And the forest wasn't known to hold any interesting Pokemon, so Trainers usually moved right past it too.

It might be better that way. I made a pretty terrible display, our in the forest, paralyzed, partially naked from the waist down, sporting a painful, throbbing erection. But more antidote was more important than trying to cover my bareness.

... Wait. Painful, throbbing erection?! When did that happen?!

Now that I was aware it was there, it was hard to believe that I could've not felt it instantly. This must've been an effect of poison too. Certainly, it wasn't my growing sexual excitement at the prospect of spending the next hours grounded, helpless and comically, painfully hard.

Just so you know, among other things, Ekans poison also acts as a blood thinner and dilates blood vessels, allowing its poison to spread through body faster. Save for the poison part, that's also the general idea behind many potency-enhancing drugs. Who knows, Ekans poison might even be part of some of those drugs...

Unable to bend my neck, or anything for that matter, I could only see the head out of the corner of my eyes. Swollen purple, throbbing in tune with my heart, every beat sending a jolt of pain through my loins, steadily increasing in magnitude, as blood was pumped through it. It quickly overshadowed the pain in my leg, though maybe just because I couldn't get my attention away from it. I guess I would have bend over in pain by now, but that poison was doing a superb job at preventing any such excessive movement.

Unbeknownst to me, that Ekans had remained close by. It might have felt guilty. It had a warm place during the night, but when it was woken up, it thanked its host with poisonous bites. Yeah, it better feel really guilty about that!

Still quite unable to move at this point, I only noticed the snakes return when its scaly skin grazed along my leg, pushing itself onto my torso. Momentarily worried that the Pokemon had returned to finish me off, I tried to struggle and shoo it away, but I managed little more than a pitiful wiggle and a barely audible groan.

Curling up on my chest, it moved its head into my field of vision, hissing 'Ekans, Ekans!', baring its needle-like teeth.

'No! Don't bite me you lazily named monster!' is what I would've liked to shout, but a few loud breaths and a hopefully angry enough expression was about all I could muster up right now.

It flicked its flat tongue over my skin. Surprisingly, Ekans don't have that forked kind of tongue most snakes seem to have. At least it didn't bite me any more, but it wasn't planing on becoming that idiot snake that died trying to feed on something much too big for it, was it?!

Not that I would've cared if it died from a ripped stomach or anything... but if it planned on starting from the head, it'd probably manage to suffocate me first.

'Stop it, I'm no food, just go away!', thoughts, loud and clear, but of course, it didn't hear me.

The snake was still flicking at my face and rubbing its head over my jowls, eyeing me with those yellow, reptilian eyes every once in a while.

That would've almost been cute, if it hadn't tried to kill me first... Yes, I wasn't going to let that one go, not for all the cuddling in the world, you know?

Then... it slithered away. Thank god.

But it didn't slither far. In fact, it didn't even move from my body, it just repositioned itself, sprawling its long body over mine in what must've looked like an uneven dollar-sign from above.

'Oh, you've got to be kidding me, that's not food either!'

A stinging sensation shot through my body, as strong jaws clamped down on my swollen member. Why the heck did my body manage to be numb, yet still remain so perfectly receptive to pain?!

I could feel its tongue on my sensitive flesh, before it opened its jaw and, pressing forward, clamped it down half an inch further down.

I was, quite literally, in a world of hurt, one the Pokemon that was gurgling down my dick inch by inch was seemingly oblivious to. Well, I wasn't exactly showing any protest, but I darn well wasn't giving it the go ahead either!

Under very different circumstances, this might not even be so bad and if this was meant as an apology, then I could even appreciate the gesture, but the thing about such a toxin-induced forced erection is that IT DOESN'T REALLY FEEL GOOD AT ALL!

It's stiff and hard and ready to go all right, but imagine stiff and hard and ready to go and getting slapped with a thorny rose stem whenever its touched..

And knowing that it's not going to go down any time soon really doesn't help either.

God, just leave me to recover!

I used all my psychic abilities to convey that message, but that Pokemon's reptilian brain just wouldn't pick it up.

Another half-inch disappearing inside the snake, more stinging, not just where it's lips pressed into me, but it had long since started to wring my cock with its muscular body. It felt great, like fucking rambling briars. Was this how it was going to be for the next hours? Receiving the most painful blowjob in history?

No, turns out that wouldn't be all!

Obviously turned on by the experience, this anthrophile Pokemon started to slap its tail end across my face, rubbing a leaking, vertical sitting genital slit over lips.

The impudence, now you want me to be reciprocal, too?

Well, I might have considered doing something nice with that, if you hadn't FRICKING POISONED me first, let alone what you're doing to me now!

When she realized I wouldn't get busy and go down on her, the fiend seriously gave me a slap with her rattle, before ultimately opting to grind her cloaca over my nose.

Yeah, that was more like it, fucking herself on my nose, once in a while stopping to trickle mildly bitter fluids across my lips, that's the life, isn't it?

Haven't you poisoned me enough today?

Finally, she must've managed to make her way down on my cock entirely, because she relaxed her jaws and just held still, removing at least once source of painful stabs. But not for long, as she began to writhe and curl herself around my dick almost immediately, probably very proud of her awesome technique. I briefly humor myself by naming it the 'thorny fleshlight' before the continuous stream of pain signals to my brain forces me to stop thinking altogether, hoping that my body won't eventually emit any sounds that might encourage this dense, reptilian rapist even more.

******

It must've been more than an hour now. I was covered in sweat. Did you know pain makes you sweat? I didn't, until now. My face, apart from sweat, was coated in vaguely purple fluids, not exactly lethal poison as it turns out, but definitely mildly toxic. It had quickly blurred my vision after a few drops trickled down my nose and into my eyes. It stung for a while, but I think I got used to it. Maybe my tears diluted it a little...

I even managed to get used to the stabbing in my junk, at least to the extend necessary to think and curse and imagine a dozen ways to end this Pokemon. Though Ekans did her best to find new ways to twist and bend my dick with her muscular body, still making me scream internally every few minutes.

She had managed to force three painful orgasms from my throbbing rod, which still wasn't showing any signs of wanting to soften. Of course not... it probably wouldn't stop until most of the poison was neutralized entirely. And it didn't seem like she would leave me be until that happened either, showing little signs of slowing down or getting tired.

At least, as a silver lining on the horizon, I was slowly gaining control of my fingers, already being able to dig my nails into the ground below to take my mind off the cruel creature wringing my cock.

You wouldn't believe my relief when, about half an hour later, I finally felt cold air hitting the wet skin of my dick. Was she done? Had she finally given up? Oh please just let her go away, please!

Moving her head in front of my eyes, I could only make out a vaguely purple shadow now.

'Ekans! Ekan.'

'Yes, it was good for me too, I'll call you, there's the door!' I scratched angrily at the ground. Whacking her tail against my lips one more time, she finally slithered off of me and when I heard her rustle through some bushes, I finally allowed myself to believe things were over.

Gone, finally. Thank god. Now just wait until you can move and get home again and pray your eyes aren't beyond saving.

Though still very uncomfortable, the cool air helped alleviating some of the pain. I mean, it's still bad, but if you're in pain for almost two hours, being in a little less pain feels like heaven.

But it only took minutes for Ekans to return... making much more noise now than when she left, I was sure she wasn't alone anymore. I couldn't see them, probably couldn't have made them out even if I could move my head in their direction, but I heard them long before they reached me.

Ekans was hissing to an even bigger snake, with a name just as lazily chosen as its own. The newly arrived Arbok took no time coiling itself up over my chest and face, nonchalantly continuing its conversation with that damned torturer. Vision already blurred, all I could see now was Arboks long body, spiralling towards the sky, and a few clouds above. That is, until it shifted one of its coils over my face, as another wet slit was pressed against it. With most of its bodies weight resting on my chest, breathing was already hard, but now I had to fight to draw in oxygen. Ekans slim body had left me with more than enough room to breath, but this one could smother my face if it really wanted.

Safe to say, it didn't take long for that familiar bitter taste to return to my lips and tongue, making them tingle. She didn't even need to move back and forth, at her size, her slit easily covered my chin, mouth and nose all at once. Of course, whatever this evolved Pokemon was secreting, it would be more potent. But would it be more potent than the initial bites? Would the Antidote be enough to neutralize this too? And would I be able to fight those crazy snakes off even IF I regained control of my body again?

Pondering those questions, I barely realized how ominously quiet the two had gotten. And no sooner had I realized, than I felt that heartless Ekans jaws pressing down on my cock again, sending it straight back to the aching state it had been so far. Maybe even worse, now that I had gotten a small taste of relief...

With one snake slowly grinding its skin-numbing, leaky privates over my face and another inching its way back on my cock in what was either a blissfully ignorant attempt to excuse herself by satisfying me and my seemingly endless virility, or a cruel plot to slowly torture me to death for waking her up too early, I closed my eyes and thought... 'god damnit... just bite me dead and get it over with...'