Lead Astray: Thank You
#1 of Lead Astray
The story you are about to read is not like your normal literature. I have decided to try something different from anything you have ever seen. I know it doesn't seem like much, but please give it a chance. I encourage you to go into this with an open mind and an open heart.
Chapters will be put out daily. Follow two men who thought they would never find love. Understand the turmoil of growing up gay in an hated society. Read this story with your emotions. I am sorry if you are not interested in the style or format, but I can promise you one thing: if you give 'Lead Astray' a shot you will not be disappointed.
Please comment. I do not wish to have people fave the story. Comment and vote please. Show your support!
From: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, August 25, 2014 9:55 PM
To: Roman Black
Subject: First Day Back!
Dear Roman,
Today was the first day of a new school year. I woke up this morning and dreaded leaving my bed. As a teacher, I should be excited about my job. Hell, I am the person who gets to lead a new generation... I would be excited, but who am I to lead anyone when I can't even lead myself. As I looked over the classroom, I saw a new set of faces. All different, holding their own stories. I wanted to know more about them. Maybe getting lost in their lives will keep my mind off everything that is going on in my own.
I spent the entire day learning new names and taking in new faces. The kids seem to like me. I know biology isn't the most exciting subject, but the new batch of students are full of spunk! It really does a lot to my confidence. You don't know how excited I am!
As the day went on, my mood changed. I had more energy around noon. Sadly, the coffee took a little longer to kick in. When it hit me, I was at lunch hanging with other teachers. It was good to see all of them again. They looked to be excited about the new school year as well.
My principle came to my classroom today. He wanted to know how things were going. Him and I had always gotten along quite nicely. Yet, today was different. You see, he is a bear, and that kind of reminded me of you (not saying all bears look alike). Seeing my boss got me thinking of the conversations you and I had last night. Actually, it was on my mind all day.
For the first time in a long time I went through the day with a little less stress. It feels great letting another person know what I am going through. How hard it is to live a lie. When I look in the eyes of my wife and children all I can think of is how I can never be what they need. It makes me feel like I'm less of a man. Hell, I am less than a man. Fuck! My thoughts are depressing me again! I need to think more about you!
You are the only person who knows my true feelings. You are the only person who has gotten pass the barriers I have set so high. You are the only person who can understand me. But most importantly, you are the only person who knows I am gay.
After talking to you into the depths of the night I realized... Maybe I'm not so alone. Maybe, if I could talk to you more I will find my true self. The man I am meant to become. I don't think that continuing this lie is healthy, but I can't bring myself to destroy the family I worked so hard to create. I feel like I am stuck in a trap, and the only way to get out of it is to cut off my own leg. If only there was a way to keep my leg... You give me hope. You make it seem a reality. I'd like to thank you, Roman. I wish there was a way to repay you...
Anyway.. I know you are probably tired of hearing about my fucked up life. How was your day? Hopefully, we can talk a little more soon. My mind seems to be a little calmer when we chat. The wife will be home tonight, so I can't IM or text you. Hope you understand!
Sincerely,
Seth Parker