Village Watch
The following story is (c) 2009 Tbohn I've decided that I should keep it tame for my very first story. I realize that it is just fluff, but I hope that someone can appreciate it. There will be more to come regardless of the success of this one. I just felt like writing it, that's all. Village Watch I could hear the chains raking though the brick streets. I always hated it when the village watch hauled in one from the forests. Why couldn't they just patrol the outskirts of the woods like they're supposed to? In the past, the mysterious creatures of the forest were allies to some of our causes and assisted us in several pointless conflicts. I made friends while I was growing up in the capital who, with the exception of their outward appearances, are indistinguishable from a human. I still enjoy writing to them, which is more than I can say for some of the friends that I have of my species. There is one in particular who I keep a constant correspondence with. But, that was in the old part of the kingdom. There is seldom harmony here, in the newly explored lands to the north. I was raised in the capital and I received an education and understanding which is years ahead of what any of these simpletons have available in their single room school house. Honestly, I think I just might write a letter to the lord of this domain asking that they receive a more worldly education, as if they deserve it. I'd rather they all be shipped to the coal mines of Svalbard for what they still practice. I think... that I just might put an end to it all. This is the time that I prove a point. I could hear the poor thing being shackled to the foundation of my apartment building. I entered a contract from the land-lord before I realized what the circle drawn in the street meant. I thought nothing of it at the time. I figured that it was for a particularly vicious dog, or some sort of archaic form of public humiliation. The circle and the point to attach the chain are directly below my second-story bedroom window. I stuck my head out to view the unfolding scene. Every time I see Ryan, or more specifically smell him, it brings tears to my eyes. The citizens of this particular village rarely bathe. This can be easily forgiven; the nearest stream is three miles away. However, Ryan takes this practice to an extreme. His odor is a combination of stale popcorn, rusty nails, and dirt. The "offending" denizen of the forest was getting a good whiff of it now. All the more stomach churning considering that their sense of smell is far superior. "Step aside everybody! This one's crazy!" declared Ryan who was wearing a curiously clean shirt. I don't think that he needed to bother with the warning. Their prisoner did not have on the customary belt and shorts that those in the forest usually wear. Therefore, she (as I can now see) did not have a knife on her. The claws and teeth of one of the forest people are still dangerous, but there was no danger in this instance. She was completely unconscious, with dried blood on her mouth. I think that this is for the best, considering the location of her sensitive nose in relation to Ryan's festering armpits. As the chain from the iron collar around her neck was attached to the wall, I was able to see her more clearly. She has the appearance of a grey wolf. The wolf folk, or "volk" as they are called in the capital, are not as common as the fox people. They have similar body types; however the volk are somewhat stronger and have a heavier coat of fur. The ones around here have probably never seen a human before. I can't imagine how scared she must have been. "You should have seen the fight she had in her! But, Ryan here knocked her out with only one swing!" said Mort. I despise Ryan and his toadies. One swing. I doubt it. I was in the woods when Ryan hauled in one of his latest prisoners. He sets a snare under the leaves. When sprung, they are left hanging like livestock ready to be gutted. They are too smart to fall for any kind of bait, so Ryan usually acts as his own. He accosts them and attacks them from a distance until they rush in to clamp down on his throat. Suddenly, their world goes upside-down while his cronies, such as Mort, beat the victim senseless. They are then dragged into town, just like this one, and are traumatized for weeks on a daily basis until they are either released... or they starve to death. However, not a single one of them has starved for a few months and Ryan can't seem to figure that out. Ryan says he does this to put them in their place and keep the town safe. I guess that he doesn't realize that their "place" is in their woodland homes. The townspeople love it. Why wouldn't they? They know no better and it provides some grotesque entertainment. I guess that's why Ryan is not only the head of the watch, but also mayor. It tears my heart. I can't help thinking about what my friends back in the capital would do. I closed my window, darkening my room, and I laid back down on my bed. It would be an hour or so until she was conscious. And it would be several hours until night. I'll admit, I engaged in a mild fantasy where I let the prisoner go to chase after Ryan. He's not known for being a particularly fast runner, given his size. Paxis always tells me that his favorite joke that I ever told him was, "If you told Ryan to haul ass, it would take him two trips." I can see her running to catch him now. I can see that the movements of Ryan's body are laced with fear and hers, excitement. She tackles him and Ryan fights, but only for a moment. I watch closely as her jaws clamp down on his fat neck and she shakes and tears the life out of him. She then rises to her feet and the look she gives me causes a disturbingly sensual feeling. I feel the need to wipe the blood off of her mouth and kiss the side of her face. And then, the world goes dark.
I awoke from my nap feeling glad that no one can read minds. I also felt as though I had done something horribly wrong, as if I had cheated someone. I stood up and tried to get it out of my head. I threw open the window to see that it would be evening in about an hour. I could hear the faint squealing of pigs as the butcher went to work on the other side of town. One good thing about this town, the pork is wonderfully delicious, but the process is horribly unappetizing. I made sure that I had dried pork in my room as well as the groceries before heading out to Paxis' house. Paxis is the only friend I have, and he doesn't even live in town. I can't blame him. His home is secluded in a quiet forest clearing. The small path to get to the clearing is barely noticeable from the road. I doubt that anyone even knows he's there. I stepped out into the hall, locked my door, at set off down the steps. Paxis is in a similar situation to mine. We are both here against our will, and neither of us knew what we were getting in to. In around twelve minutes, I reach Paxis' excuse for a driveway. In just another minute, I can see his unusual house. It is kept in marvelous condition but that is only because Paxis has nothing to do on cloudy nights. I was sent to study this town's problem and him, the endless sky. Hardly any light pollution here. I knocked on the door and waited for a moment. I didn't get an answer right away, so I took a few steps back and admired the shining brass telescope emerging from the roof. "Are you still asleep, old man?" I asked with mock arrogance. "Not a chance. How could I sleep through my favorite delivery?" said the youthful voice inside. Paxis unlocked the door and welcomed me into his home. He never went into town for obvious reasons. He is a rather old fox man. I always tease him by saying that he is "graying around the edges". He always has a quick comeback, usually pointing out my lack of fur and how I must get cold at night. He is just a bit shorter than I am, and I'm not especially tall. I think that this is mostly due to old age. He is also a bit slow on his feet. However, a blind man would think that he was speaking to someone my age. Sometimes, I even think I am talking to one of my friends at the university. Though his body may be slowing down, his mind is as sharp as ever. Paxis is an astronomer. I looked into astronomy once. But, I lost interest when I figured out how much math was involved. Also, I was at a disadvantage to some of my classmates. The fox people and the volk have eyes that can see even the faintest stars. It was a little disheartening. I realized that no matter what, I would never have eyes that could pierce the deepest reaches of space. "Just set everything down on the table. Don't worry about the drawings, they're nothing important." "Sure." "Oh, I almost forgot. This is your pay for the week." "Oh. Just keep it." "What am I going to do with it? Buy groceries? I never even leave this meadow. Take the money, you shivering little furless punk." "Okay! Okay! A few more years and you'll be so grey you'll look like a skinny volk." "You ungrateful...you're lucky I pay you anything!" "Yeah... right. What would you do for food?" "I could still get my food from the forest. I did it before and I can do it again." "Too bad. I haven't seen anything dead by the side of the road lately." "Now why would that be? Do you think the villagers are down on their luck?" We both chuckle and have big smiles on our faces. "You know, if you didn't come by every other day, I would move right back to the capital," said Paxis as he looked through what I had brought him. "I wouldn't blame you. I think we keep each other sane," I said in mildly distracted tone. "That's certainly true," his sensitive ears twitched as he picked up the change in my voice, "What's the matter?" he asked. "They got another one," I said. Paxis stopped fishing through the bag and his expressive ears lowed down to his head. "Oh dear..." he said. * * * Paxis makes a good pot of tea. Without a doubt the best I've had outside the capital. We were sitting in the two comfortable chairs in his small, hexagonal home. The interior is predominantly a dusky brown color. Small specks of dust can be seen in shafts of light. This gives his house an almost dreamlike quality. I love Paxis' observatory. It is just the right size and has a faintly musty smell, but not in a bad way. It's comforting. Like your grandfather's musky cologne. It probably emanates from the hundreds of books lining the shelves which almost circumnavigate the room. The house is two sided. The side we are sitting on has two very cozy chairs and a table covered with papers. The other side of the house is raised by about three feet and has a small set of steps leading up to it. This is the side that has the telescope and the reclined viewing chair which looks like it was taken out of a dentist's office. The raised half also features what Paxis likes to call his "sleeping machine" which is nothing more than a pile of blankets and pillows on the floor. We would usually be engaging in dearly needed jokes and an intelligent conversation. But, the topic of this evening ruined our usually jovial talk. "The watch must have taken her from a deep part of the forest," I explained, "They said that she put up a massive fight." "They always say that," observed Paxis. "That's true, but I couldn't help noticing that the whole "zoo crew" looked a little out of breath. Also, the mayor was wearing a clean shirt for once. I think that she tore the hell out of him and he had to stop by his house to patch himself up and change into an outfit that is more becoming of a single punch knockout," I corrected. "Aha! She must have been on her toes. Word must be getting around the forest about Ryan's little act," observed Paxis with an emotion bordering on glee. "That sounds about right. So that makes two foxes, one man and one woman, and five volk, all men until today," I said. "The frequency has been going down recently. I think that our little theory is solid. Perhaps they are planning something? Wait, forget I said that. They would never risk a battle with the villagers. They would win, of course. Heck... you and I would help them. But, they wouldn't win in the end. In the end, they would ruin everything. That must be why they are still trying to hide," said Paxis. "That makes sense," I responded. "Are you going to do more of the same?" asked Paxis. "I was planning on something a little different this time," I said. Paxis' ears perked up and he leaned forward in his seat. This movement caused his toe-claws to gently scrape the floor. "What do you have in mind?" he asked. "Well, it's going to be somewhat humiliating for Ryan. If it all works out as it should, I will be back in the capital and out of reach, and you just might find out how you want to spend the rest of your life." I said. "I'll help anyway that I can," promised Paxis. * * * It was dark by the time that I got back into my apartment. It was around eight o' clock. There was still a small crowd gathered around the current prisoner. They jeered, tossed pebbles, and hurled insults. All the prisoner did was snarl and rattle her chains. I could hear them as I sat on my bed looking over the things that I needed for that night. A huge smile crossed my face when I heard the butcher's wife. "SHUT UP! YOU'VE BEEN AT IT FOR FIVE HOURS! MY BABIES IS TRYIN' TA SLEEP! WE CAN HEAR YOUSE ALL THE WAY ON THE OTHER SIDE O' TOWN! GO TO BED!" she screeched later tacking on a "GOOD LORD!" for good measure. "Nice," I thought "I should be able to get to work in about two hours. Nobody will stick around after that." I picked up my journal and proceeded to chronicle my day by candlelight. I couldn't help but look over my plan one last time. I wasn't the least bit surprised that Paxis had agreed to it. It is right up his alley. At eleven, I set my things out on the floor and checked them over for a second time. One bucket, one gallon of water, half a pound of smoked pork, and twenty feet of thin rope were at my disposal. I placed the pork in the bucket and tied the rope onto the handle. I went over to my second story window and carefully opened it. I keep the hinges oiled just in case, but you never know. I lowered the bucket down so that it would land in the interior of the circle as close to the helpless victim as I could manage. I was surprised to discover that she was only pretending to sleep. She slowly moved, hardly disturbing the chain, and helped me to guide the bucket to the ground. I was relived. Making sure that the metal bucket reached the ground with as little noise as possible is the hardest part. The volk took out the pork and began to silently eat. I was around fifteen feet above her looking down on the whole situation, but I could tell that she expected a meal to be there. She ate the pork in an instant and even tugged on the rope as a sign for me to raise the bucket. I was convinced, word of me has gotten out, and it has gotten out to the right people. I raised the bucket and carefully set it down in my room. I filled it with fresh water from a pitcher and made sure that it would not tip over. That happened once. I dumped whole thing over a fox man as he was sleeping. It was like a poorly executed prank. The fox yipped when the water hit him and I could see matches being lit across the street. I thought I would be caught for sure. I couldn't sleep that night. I was seen holding the bucket at my window. Fortunately, I was able to convince the townsfolk that I had cruelly emptied my chamber pot on the hapless victim (no plumbing, sick right?). They bought the lie. The fox man had been there for days so it certainly smelled bad enough. He was released before dumping crap all over him became the "vogue" thing to do. I lowered the significantly heavier bucket down to the volk. She sat right underneath where I was going to set it down at and caught it. She began to lap up the water as quietly as she could. Once she had her fill, she tugged the rope and I raised it again. This time, our eyes met. I could tell her wild, yellow eyes were carefully studying me. This made me slightly nervous. I grimaced as the bucket scraped against the wall. Luckily, she had seen it coming and shook her chain to cover the sound. "She's clever," I thought. * * * For the next week I repeated the bucket job every night at around midnight and told Paxis all about it. The moon was waning so it became increasingly difficult for me to see what I was doing without lighting a candle. This is really risky for me, so I decided that I would need to go down to the street instead of using the usual bucket trick. I helped my landlord fix the steps and floorboards so they wouldn't squeak. This is a great boon when trying to sneak around. I placed some meat and a bit of bread in my pocket and filled the bucket. I kept the water from sloshing around by keeping the bucket as stationary as possible when I moved. Sneaking around the library at the university was good practice. I made it to the street and turned the corner. She was sitting against the wall and staring right at me. I tip-toed to the inside of the circle and I was vaguely aware that I was within striking distance. I wasn't worried though. I could tell that she trusted me and wouldn't do anything like that. Besides, what choice did she have? "In a way," I thought, "she is like a younger, female version of Paxis." I handed her the food and laid out a towel I thought of bringing at the last second. I spread it out on the ground. It made muffling the metal bucket very simple. She ate the food in no time and began to drink the water. They would be letting her loose in another week, and it's a good thing too. She smelled absolutely terrible from being unable to bathe. In fact, Paxis told me that when he was still living in the forest, the people of his village bathed at least three times a week except during winter. That's more than this town can manage. How I miss indoor plumbing. By the time I had stopped musing to myself, the volk was finished drinking. I was accustomed to everything about the forest people, but her nakedness was still a little unsettling. Not that I could see anything. She looked like a genocide victim. I suddenly realized that without my help, she would be. I could tell that she knew this as well by the way that she tilted her head towards me with a sort of "thank you" nod as she handed over the towel and bucket. I am certain that she doesn't speak English. She only knows the guttural, growling language of the forest people that humans can learn to understand, but have trouble speaking. We can hardly replicate the sounds. In our spare time, Paxis and I practiced this nameless language. Even though I knew only a limited amount I was able to whisper, "You... be okay." I could only pick up part of her response, but I was able to piece together, "Thank you. You are ... kind ... me. I was... about you. You smell like us. You ... be good friends ... one of us?" "Yes," I said, "my friend and I make you free soon." "Good," she said, "thank you." I should ask Paxis to go over the future tense with me. That was mildly pathetic. I also need to work on my growls. I must have been kind of weird to listen to. Oh well. Everything will be set in motion tomorrow. * * * Paxis and I were sipping his tea again in his musty home. I now know that the mustiness follows me around. He handed me a small vial and I carefully placed it in my pocket before we took our usual spots. He sat quietly in his seat and was the embodiment of the word "relaxed". He just sat there in his green easy-chair with his big, dull tail lying on the cushion between his legs. I suppose that tail lost its youthful vibrancy decades ago. I would have liked to have met Paxis in his younger years. It's such a shame. I just want him to be happy again. He has lost so many of the things that he held dear. Paxis stirred in his chair and started to speak. "You have everything you need?" "I do now. Do you?" "Why wouldn't I? I have had all day to get ready." "Well... we just have a lot riding on this." "I know. I'll do my part, and then retire early." "You're going to retire?" "Well, yes. That was the plan, right?" "Oh. I just thought that you already did, like, thirty years ago." "I'll have you know that I'm only seventy-eight." "Is that some kind of record?" "Get out of my house and stop drinking my tea. That tea in your mouth, it belongs to me. Spit it out. I demand it back." "Oh yeah? Well the spit in my mouth belongs to me. And I'm keeping it. So unless you're prepared to separate you're cheap tea and my premium spit, you're just going to have to deal with it." "*sigh* We are so... I don't know.... this is must be why we don't get many dates." "I don't know about that... your native tongue is a powerful weapon." "Really?" "Yeah. She understood me perfectly. We need to practice it some more. When I get back to the capital, I want panties to drop." "Done. But... what about the girl in the library? You're not going to waste another opportunity like that, are you? Believe me when I tell you this, you have to please a woman before you're forty, or it will never happen." That kind of advice coming from an old man of no relation to you would either be hilarious or unbelievably creepy. Coming from Paxis, it was a life lesson. "That was a fluke. I didn't have any idea what would happen the next day. Besides, I'm anxious to talk to her again. I miss her. By the way, I've got twenty-two years to go." "Oh, so the countdown has already started then? She sounds like a keeper from what you told me. No matter what happens, you'll be happier for it. Don't worry. I think that things will turn out just fine." I couldn't help but notice a slight choke in his voice when Paxis spoke those final sentences. * * * On my way home, I reflected upon what Paxis had referenced. As my boots hit the road, kicking up the occasional leaf, I vividly remembered every detail about the girl in the library. I was working in the library at the university. When I had nothing to do or my shift was over, I would browse the books. I had plenty of time to work on homework or research. Everyday, the same girl would be there. She wasn't a human; she was a kind of desert cat from Persia. I'm not positive what they're called. It's the kind with the tufted ears; I think they're called caracals. She was about my height, had a neat accent, and she was not terribly thin nor was she built like a rugby player. She was just right, and her name was Soraya. Soraya would always have trouble finding the books she needed since they use a different library system in her homeland. She would follow me around as I hunted up the books she required and she was always most gracious for my help. We would talk while I was at it, and we became friends in no time. Soraya loved telling me all about her native country and her trips around Mesopotamia as much I loved listening to the sound of her voice. When she walked away, I would occasionally study her swaying tail, but only when I was hidden behind one of the room's massive bookshelves. I couldn't deny it. Human girls never even notice me, but all the others are interested in me for some reason. Though I would never admit this to anyone but Paxis, I am more than okay with that. The university has nearly one hundred private study rooms scattered throughout the campus. The best ones are secret. It is a tradition that every graduating class builds at least one study room. These rooms would be used for criminal purposes at any other institution. But, this was not the case at mine. They are the best way to study and all of them are very quiet. The only one I ever used was in the library. I found it one day when I was fixing a book that was out of order by only one number. What can I say? I'm a stickler for the system. It was an unimposing book that was in a shelf against the wall. For some reason, the title made it seem to belong in that section. Regardless, I pulled the book out from the shelf. I pulled on the book, but the shelf came with it. It had a bit of resistance, but it just glided open like one big door. I looked behind the shelf and my heart skipped a beat. There was a small room with nothing but a latter in it which was illuminated by a dusty shaft of light. I had found a hidden study room! I was not told of it by an upperclassmen, I had found it! All on my own! It was like a reward for putting things in their place! I bounded up the latter to emerge in to a room that was against one of the walls of the library building. From outside, it just looks like part of the library; I had no idea that the interior was practical in any way. There were three, large windows with an incredibly comfortable window seat at the base of each. The room was horribly dusty, but that could be fixed. It must have been forgotten for quite some time. I turned to take it all in before descending down the latter and closing the trap door behind me. The next day, Soraya was following me around while I hunted up some of the books that she needed while I returned some of the others. She always needs a book for some reason. We were in the section of the library which is the most secluded and private due to the propensity of boring titles. This is where the hidden entrance to the study room was. "Soraya, do you want to see something really neat that I've found?" I asked. "I'm not sure. What is it?" she asked. There was no need to get close to her ear to whisper what I had to say, Soraya could easily hear it from five feet away. All I had to do was breathe, "I've found one of the study rooms." We climbed the latter and I showed her around. She seemed impressed. "I love it! It is really dusty, but I like the windows," she said. "Don't get too excited. It's not like I built it or anything," that came out a little snide, but you'll have that. "But still, isn't it nice?" her black-tufted ears twitched slightly. "It will be great once it gets cleaned out." I carefully avoided saying "I clean it out". I wanted some help, specifically, hers. "Does anyone else know about this room?" Soraya asked. "You're the only one I've told," I tried to make this sound suave. "Why don't we just keep this between the two of us? What do you think?" she asked. "I think you're absolutely right," I was almost giddy, but I managed to keep it to myself. When I had finished my shift, we set about cleaning our secret study room. It was simple to do. We just had to start from the top and work our way to the bottom. It took only an hour. After dinner, we snuck into the library and studied. We did our after-dinner study every night. I would help her with her English and Sociology homework while she helped me with my calculations for Astronomy. If we had nothing to do, we would end up talking or reading for the rest of the evening. This went on for three weeks. It was great. Our improving grades were a perfect mirror of how close we had become. One day, nether of us had homework. We went into the study room to relax and talk like we normally did. I went up the latter first. When Soraya reached the top, she turned around and closed the trap door. When she stood back up, we were within only inches of each other. She had planned it that way. Soraya hugged me tight and began to speak. "Nobody ever talks to me, not even the volk or foxes. You are the only one who can even stand my presence. I was thinking about going back home until you showed me this. I didn't even need half the books I made you find, I just wanted the company." I listened to Soraya's confession as she rested her head on my shoulder. Our clothing began to rustle together as she tightened her embrace. She moved in closer until I could feel her whiskers on the back of my neck. I tried hard not to swoon when I squeezed her back. That would not have been exactly "manly". "That's okay, Soraya. You're the highlight of my day," and I meant it too. She loosened her hold and began to purr. She licked the side of my face and I closed my eyes. I tilted my head back until I would have been staring at the ceiling. She responded to this by licking my neck with her rough tongue and purring even louder. I swooned, I'll admit it, I'm a swooner. I ran my fingers along her spine hoping to touch an uncovered bit of her beautifully colored fur. I followed the length of her back until my hand was resting behind her ears. When I finished, I looked into her bright eyes before placing a loving kiss on her thin, black lips and scratching the back of her head. She wrapped her arms around my neck and I loved the feel and warmth of her fur. It was a curious sensation, but incredibly comforting. In a word, it was thrilling. We laid down on one of the window seats and held each other tight. We proceeded to cuddle and kiss for nearly an hour. We both ended up shirtless; I don't remember exactly how that happened. We progressed from loudly pawing on one another with an almost frantic affection (more than likely when we lost our shirts) to holding onto each other dreamily in silence. I took great delight in stroking every inch of Soraya's soft and carefully cleaned coat of fur while she nuzzled and licked my face and neck. We hardly spoke. It was mostly an occasional sigh from me and her constant, gravely purr. Soraya's purring seemed to vibrate her whole body so that it felt as if it was in constant motion. It was so calming. I just wanted to hold her close and fall asleep. I highly recommend practicing this activity with any non-human friends, as soon and as often as possible. I was having the time of my life and I think Soraya felt the same as evidenced by her swishing tail and contented purr. Though Soraya smiled at me and began guide my hand down her white stomach to the edge of her pants with an unforgettably sultry expression on her face, I decided not to lead things to their inevitable conclusion. "Not now, it's getting late. We have all the time in the world. Besides," I playfully whispered, "it's not the having, it's the wanting." Soraya smiled and purred, "You're devious, but I suppose that the wait will make things all the sweeter. And it is getting dark. People might wonder where we are. Tomorrow then... don't be late." "Wouldn't dream of it," I assured. The next day, I was on a carriage ride to this town against my choice where I was to stay for the next two months. Talk about a wait, but what was I to do? The dean had given me a sealed note and an envelope full of money before saying, "There are some troubles in this town. It's the last to have this kind of problem. Why don't you study the cause and see if you can do anything about it?" "What do you mean?" I had asked, "What about my classes? Besides, I kind of have to "be" somewhere tonight." "It's about time that you realize that some things are more important than grades or "being" somewhere. Don't worry about you're classes. I'll see to it that you get a passing grade in all of them, but only if you can get the right results." "What are you talking about?" "You'll know when you get there. Find my friend and help him out. He's an elderly star-gazer. Other than that, I don't want to say anything." I still write Soraya as much as I can and she always writes back. She is still lonely and feels pathetic sitting in the study all by herself. The first person I want to meet when I get back to the capital is her. And it better be within the next twenty-two years. * * * When I got back to the apartment, I was a man on a mission. All of my bags were packed, and what I needed was ready. I took out the small vial of grain alcohol that Paxis uses to clean his telescope lens. It was Saturday night. That meant that Ryan and his pals were in the bar getting hammered. I made my way to the bar and let myself in. It was rife with smoke and filled with intoxicated banter. There isn't much to do in this town, so getting smashed is a popular pastime. I took a seat at the bar next to Ryan and ordered a small drink. "Hey! Look who it is!" said Ryan, "It's the chamber-pot champion!" Inadvertently dousing the sleeping fox with a pail of water really cemented my place in the community. I wasn't particularly thrilled with my nick-name and I prayed that it would never make it out of town. "Hey Ryan, let me buy you another drink," I offered. "Oh! You're a real pal. I'm gonna miss you buddy." Some "buddy" I am. I bought Ryan about four beers and I knew that he must have been on his second when I got there. A few people got into a bar fight and the distraction gave me the perfect opportunity. While Ryan was watching the scuffle, I dumped the entire vial of pure alcohol into the remainder of his drink. Ryan raised his mug to Mort and made a slurred toast. "To freendss. I love you man. You're da best. Cheersss!" He proceeded to down the rest of the mug in about two gulps. Mort half-heatedly returned Ryan's sentiments. He could tell that he was getting a little too drunk. A minute later, Ryan's head rolled and nobody even attempted to catch him when he fell off his stool with a crash. In the resulting confusion, I dropped to my knee to help him. Since I was a university student, everyone assumed that I was some kind of doctor. I acted like I was trying to rouse him awake, but I was actually feeling his pockets. When I found what I was looking for, I jammed my fingers in and pulled out a key. I palmed the key and suggested to the gathering crowd that Ryan should be taken home. I didn't have to be a doctor to tell that by spiking his beer, I had made the mayor dangerously drunk. While a few people were getting Ryan to his feet, I said my goodbyes and left. Nearly one-third of the town was in the bar. This made my job all the easier. As I went back into my apartment, the volk and I exchanged a knowing glance. I crept up the steps and got my things. When all was in order, I locked the door and went back down to the street. I entered the circle and took a look at her collar. It was a little old and stained with blood. This caused it to stick to the grey fur around her neck slightly. I was still uncomfortable being so close to her. After oiling the mechanism, I unlocked it. It came off easily enough. "Thanks," she growled, "I have been waiting for that." To this I said, "You're w-welcome." It felt as though I had taken a collar off my neck as well. I handed the volk a black traveling cloak and told her, as best I could, to put it on. She certainly didn't smell much better, but at least she wouldn't be as conspicuous with the cloak on. I told her to follow me out of town and we started down the main street. I was heading for Paxis' observatory where he would be waiting. As we were following the dusty path out of town, the volk suddenly stopped. She said, "Something is tracking us. I hear its footsteps.... they don't sound normal." I wanted to say "hurry" but I didn't know the word. I searched my mind, but the only thing that I could come up with was "fast". I said this and started to jog away from her. She understood what I meant and followed. We were at Paxis' house in no time. He was waiting outside with a sizable backpack. He always was a meticulous packer. He more than likely had things he would never use. After I quietly greeted him, the volk and Paxis grumbled back and forth hurriedly. I wasn't able to pick out much of what they said. Paxis turned to me and sadly said, "She says that you were followed. I think that whoever it is knows what we're up to. I can hear them coming towards us now. I'm sorry. I can't go. You two have to run away without me." "Don't be stupid Paxis. It's not worth it unless you come too. I'm staying right here," I said. There was no way I was leaving without him. The volk, though she understood nothing of what was said, seemed to share my sentiments. "It's too late now anyway," said Paxis as his ears drooped down against his head, "Forgive me." We all faced the direction of the footsteps. Even I could hear them now. I could make out only a shape in the darkness, but Paxis and the volk could see clearly. "Are you joking?" asked Paxis incredulously, "Look at the size of you! How could you have possibly caught up with them? Did you roll? By the way, you smell." "I *pant* dooo not *huff* smell *wheeze*! Yurall *hack* dead." I could tell at once who it was. He was fat, he stank, and he was walking funny because he was drunk. It was Ryan. As mayor and head of the village watch, he could arrest us and make our lives hell. I envisioned of all three of us in circles with chains around our necks being beat and spit on. I'm certain that was what he would do. Of course, he would have to catch his breath and sober up to make it a reality. Before either of us could act, the volk barreled forth and knocked Ryan onto the ground. She gave out a snarl that put my hair on end. My sexy daydream was not quite as enjoyable in practice. Ryan managed to shove the volk off and he *somehow* got to his feet. He was ready to lunge forth, when he suddenly stopped. Ryan began to gasp and hit his left arm. A few seconds later he gripped his chest and began to moan. He was grimacing and sweating profusely. After a few seconds of this, he fell to the ground with a tremendous thud and didn't move after that. We all gathered around him and shared a stunned silence. I felt for the artery on Ryan's cold and sweaty neck. I couldn't find a pulse. "He's dead. Oh... my god..." I said. "Too much pork," observed Paxis. I couldn't help it, I laughed. Both Paxis and I snickered. In no way is death funny. But when a sick individual such as Ryan bites the dust in the most cartoonish way imaginable, it is rather amusing. Besides, he deserved much worse considering what he has done. "Did I kill him?" asked the volk. Her hackles were still raised. After Paxis and I breathlessly assured the volk that she was not responsible for Ryan's demise, a scary thought struck me. I turned to Paxis. "What are we going to do with the body?" Paxis stopped laughing. "Oh... right. We have a problem." "You have a dead mayor on your lawn, Paxis. I'd call that a problem." "I didn't invite him!" "He might as well be a dead hippo. What are we going to do?" "I don't know!" "Well think fast fox man! He's getting stiff!" "I wasn't planning on this! It's your fault!" As I was getting ready to whine at Paxis some more, the volk frantically began to woof, "He's dead! Oh no! I was not going to kill him! I was only going to scare him! He's dead!" I silenced her by saying, in English, "Thank you! We've established that!" When I turned back around Paxis had gone back into his house. He reappeared a moment later in the doorway. He was holding a saw. I looked at the rusty, toothy blade, and then at him. "No way. We are not hacking a man to bits in front of your house," I said. "Huh? Oh, this? I thought that I might need it later. You know... for firewood and such. Who said we were going to cut him up? You have a sick mind my pink friend," said Paxis. He sat his pack on the ground and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. He poured some of the contents onto Ryan's shirt and then knelt down and wrapped Ryan's meaty fist around it. I could hear him mumble, "Better than anything he's ever bought..." Then he stood up and faced me. "There. You see? He drank himself to death." "I'm not saying that it's a bad cover-story, but how did he get in the woods?" "When you get to the next town to catch your carriage ride, write a letter expressing your concern for Ryan. Say that you left in the middle of the night because your ride is in the early morning. Say that you met Ryan stumbling down the road far from town and that you tried to convince him to go back. Be sure to mention that he walked off into the woods with a bottle in his hand and that he was mumbling something about "catching that fluffy dog". When you got to town, you wrote the letter to make sure that he made it home safe. Be sure to have it sent as soon as you get there. We wouldn't want the townspeople to do anything brash. I'll be settling into this young lady's woodland community, thus impossible to contact, and you'll be snuggling down back in the capital with that hot, young thing to keep you warm at night." I thought about it. Paxis' plan was pretty sound. Its strength came from the fact that, it wasn't really a lie. We just changed the details of the truth a bit. I agreed to it. I felt my eyes start to water as I realized what was about to happen. I gave Paxis a hug. It sort of threw him off guard. When I let go, I could see that he had tears welling up in his eyes too. Paxis whined and said, "You're a good soul. I think that you will turn out fine. Just... try not to kill anyone." "Thanks... for everything Paxis. I hope that your retirement will be everything that you want it to be," I said. "I hope so. It will be nice to drop off the map and return to the way I used to live. Take care," said Paxis. He whined again as he walked away. The volk looked at me. "You are a good person. I will tell my family about how you helped me. I will also tell about how this will never happen again. I wish you a safe journey," she said. "Thank you. I w-wish you a safe journey as w-w-well," I said. I always had trouble with that particular syllable and it made the volk smile. She turned and walked towards Paxis. She motioned for him to follow and they both waved before disappearing into the woods. * * * It was an incredibly long ride back to the capital, made all the more excruciating given that my thoughts concerned a night of passionate and consequence-free love making with Soraya. The dean was waiting to greet me at the campus. He said hello and handed me a particularly hefty envelope. I knew that it wasn't a report card and I would be sorely disappointed if it was full of homework. I thanked him and quickly walked away towards the massive library. It was getting late in the day. It was past supper and I knew what that meant. I had told Soraya that I was coming back this week, but that I wasn't sure when. I wanted my arrival to be a pleasant surprise. When I entered the library, I headed straight to the dullest section. I passed all of the familiar shelves and thought back on being followed through them with the most beautiful and interesting girl I had ever met. I opened the secret door and it quietly glided on its hinges. I could hardly contain my excitement. I closed it behind me and started up the latter. I heard the trapdoor open and I looked up to see my favorite face in the world. "How did you know I was coming?" I asked. "I could hear your heartbeat from the bottom," she teased. "You'll hear it a lot better in a second," I said. I made it to the top rung and Soraya closed the door behind me. She yowled and we shared a long kiss. Every "X" and every "O" in our letters to each other was felt in that kiss. It was almost overpowering. I missed her so much, more than my parents and my friends put together. We pulled apart and she looked into my eyes. I was expecting her to say, "I love you." Instead she said, "You stink." We both broke out into laughter and I managed to gasp, "What do I smell like?" "Like foxes, pigs, sweat and booze. Where have you been for so long? You never told me much in the letters, even when I asked." "Take a seat and I'll tell you all about it." The End - - - - So... what do you think? That was cute, right?