FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Do you remember your imaginary friend? I had a random flashback of mine a couple days ago, and I have to admit; it brought me to tears. When I was a kid, I grew up in a bad neighborhood; drugs, arson, drive bys. You name it; we had it. Because of this I had no friends growing up; so I created my own. His name was Lupus; He was a 40 foot tall anthropomorphic wolf with black fur. I remember how I created him, which surprisingly, was a mistake in a way, but I did. I remember everyday I spent with him, and making my childhood happy, in a sad area.

The day I had created him; I was 7. I had gotten home from school feeling alone as I usually did. My old classmates at school would make fun of me because of my long hair, which I now find funny as I have even longer hair and love it. Anyway, I was tired of all the constant teasing, sense of no release, no real escape from it all, so I ran away from home. I went into the backyard, climbed over the fence, then ran down the alleyway behind the house. I came upon a hedge, and without thinking; ran through it and fell into a grass field. After I got up and brushed myself off, I discovered it was a park, and a very quiet park at that. The grass and trees we very green, very alive, The Park was huge about ¾ of a football field and in the center of the neighborhood. After I survived the area; I found a tall tree that provided lots of shade. I sat down next to its base, and began to cry. I let out a small whimper while I wept, "Why can't I have one friend, one friend that will be there for me!" I closed my eyes for a bit, and that's when the imagination kicked in. I froze for a second; I felt like I was being watched by something somewhere, and then I heard something breathing heavily. It didn't sound human. I looked around and a saw it; a monster with dark fur, looking right at me. I had always been haunted by monsters in my dreams, so I thought they were coming to life. I tried to run, but the creature put its massive hand right in front of me and started to pull me in. I saw its enormous face; it looked like that of a wolf, sharp white teeth, bright yellow eyes, and a long muzzle. I got right in front of his mouth, I cringed in horror, and then he licked me. After the first lick, he continued licking me, like a dog happy to see its owner. He began to laugh because of it all, but I finally spoke up to the wolf.

"Hey! Stop that! You're suppose to be scary." I said to the monster

"No I'm not" He responded. "I'm here to be your friend."

"M...my friend?" I froze up. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Yep" He stood up; reveling how tall he actually was. "I'm Lupus. I'm a 40 foot wolf, and also your new friend.

I couldn't believe it. My first friend was a giant, walking, talking wolf.

"You really wanna be my friend? I asked

"Wanna be?" He lay back down on his stomach. "I am your friend."

I just stood there, looking at my new friend. He had a friendly grin on his face, and his tail was wagging really hard. I was so happy; the only thing I could do was cry.

"Awww. Come here." He pushed me into his neck fur and hugged me; I hugged him back and continued to cry.

"I'm here for you buddy. I will always be here for you. I will never leave you. I promise."

It felt like we were hugging forever, but I didn't care. I had a friend, and his name was Lupus.

After that day; everyday after school, I would climb my fence to get to that park to be with Lupus. I would tell him how my day was, what I learned at school, and even showed him how I did on a test. No matter, if I got a good score or a bad one, he always made me feel good about myself. We also played hide and seek a lot. I always won, but he always said he let me win. What we loved to do the most was lie on the field and look at the clouds. It was so calming to look at the clouds, and I never felt alone, because Lupus was there. One day, I went to go visit Lupus at the park and let him win at hide and seek for a change, but when I got to the hedge, there was a fence around. I couldn't believe it. That was our park, which was the only place we could have fun. I got so frustrated that I started to cry.

"What's wrong pal?" I turned around, and there was Lupus.

"Lupus!" I ran over and hugged his leg. "They closed our park I can't get in anymore."

"Don't worry, I'll fix this later, but there are more ways into the park. Just walk that way." I looked down the alley; I heard the sound of dogs barking from peoples bark yards. I began to think that one of the dogs would get out somehow and hurt me; I began to back up, trying to hide in Lupus's fur, but his calming voice called out to me.

"Don't worry, I'm right behind you. Nothing will happen to you."

"Pinky promise?" I asked him He reached down with his pinky claw and I wrapped my pinky around it.

"Promise." We began to walk. I would flinch every time a dog barked and kicked at the fence, but suddenly; they stopped. I looked up at Lupus, and he was looking at where to dogs would be, giving a very stern look in their direction. When I saw that Lupus was making sure those dogs wouldn't get me, I didn't feel afraid anymore. We made it to the park, and I was so happy. Lupus laid down on his stomach like he always did.

"See, I told you we'd make it." He said patting my head with his finger

"We did because I had a big protector." I then began to scratch the back of his ear.

"Oh yeah. That's the spot." He began to pant happily and wag his tail as he had the back of his ear scratched. The next day I on my way to the park, I noticed that the fence that was there before had disappeared. I then climbed through the hedge and saw Lupus. He saw me and began to wag his tail

"Hi little buddy!" He said as I entered the field.

"Lupus. Where did the Fence go?" I asked curiously.

"Fence? W-wh-what fence?" He tried to say with as much confidence as he could

"You ripped it away. Lupus." I looked at him sternly. He then lowered his ears and whimpered.

"Okay...I just wanted you to be happy and safe." He looked at me with a sad look. I was taken off gurad by the strong gesture, but then smiled and ran into his neck fur, hugging it

"Thank you Lupus. I'm happy that you're always looking out for me, but next time; don't do things like that. Okay?" His tail began to wag again and he began to pant happily.

"Okay. I promise!" He licked me a couple times, and we spent the rest of the day playing hide and seek and cloud watching. Time went by making me grow up with each passing year, yet Lupus and I were inseparable. Well, we were.

5 years had passed, and I was now 12. My days of hanging out with Lupus had practically disappeared. I had found real kids my age to hang out with, and because of them, I thought that having a friend like Lupus was something for babies and mama's boys. I part of me still wanted to visit him, but I kept telling myself that he wasn't any fun; my new friends were. One night, my new friends and I decided we were gonna sneak into the train yard. The objective that night was to tag one of the trains to prove we weren't kids. We all got there about 9pm; one of the guys got wire cutters and another brought spray cans. We cut ourselves a hole into the fence and crawled into the yard. Once we all made it in, we started looking for a train that didn't have that many tags.

"PSHH! Guys. Look!" We looked over to see tagger gold; a brand new train. That would be the train that wore our tags. We started to walk towards it, when all of a sudden.

"STOP!" We looked over, it was a security guard. Before I could react, one of the guys pushed me to the ground and then took off. The guard shined his flashlight on me and began to run towards me. I finally got on my feet and ran as hard as I could to get away from him. I made it to the hole that was made and ran out just in time. I had hurt myself trying to get out, so I limped away. After running in a hurt panic for few blocks, I heard police sirens, they were coming right towards me. I saw a ditch and threw myself into it, laying still, quiet, and waiting for the cops to pass. After 15 minutes, I crawled out and realized I didn't know where I was. I walk for a bit and found a big tree; it was dying, not many leaves on it at all, I sat down beside it and began to cry. I hated myself for letting myself believe those kids were my friends and that they cared about me.

"No one cares about me. No one." Suddenly, I felt warm air coming from behind me. Before I could move, a giant hand pushed me softly in to a patch of fur. I looked up and saw those familiar yellow eyes, but with tears in them.

"Lupus?" I asked with tears in my eyes. He nodded and began to smile.

"I told you I would never leave you buddy. I care about you. I will always care about you." I hugged his neck fur and he hugged me back. I lost all feeling of despair and anger, because Lupus was there for me, he was always there for me, and that's all I needed. I woke up. I looked around and quickly recognized where I was I was at the park, our park. I ran past where the hedge and fence use to be, climbed over my fence. I got into my house, no one was up yet. I quietly opened my window and climbed in. I then snuck into my bed and laid there. I thought about how mean I was to Lupus, how I could make it up to him, but then I realized something, and I began to cry, cry harder than I ever had before. Lupus was the only friend I ever had, but he wasn't real. He was imaginary. It was all real to me, but the truth was, he was never really there.

Years have gone by and I am now 22. I go to work and school full time, I play in a band, and I have a good amount of friends that care about me. I was babysitting my niece a few days back when I heard her talking to someone in her room. I went in and there was only her.

"Who you talking to sweetie?" I asked

"My friend Mary. We're having a tea party. Wanna join us Uncle?"

"I'm alright, just make sure you leave some tea for me, okay?"

"Okay." And she went on with her tea party with her friend Mary. I began to think about kids and there imaginary friends and I remembered a day in my life where I ran from my problems and into a giant black wolf that would mean the world to me. The nights afterwards and even right now as I am writing this; with tears in my eyes; I wish for a minute, just one minute I could again, hug the neck fur, feel the togetherness, and be loved by my best friend, Lupus.