Rogue
The thoughts of a former agent of the Company on an event. Sister story to "Company" and "Victim"
The Rogue "Auramus"
This is literally driving me crazy. I have been working for forty billion, three hundred and twenty eight million, six hundred and eleven thousand, nine hundred and fifty seven years. No food, no water, no breaks, nothing. I've been doing nothing but work. Something like this has a tendency to... how should I put it... drive a man to insanity.
I took my anger out on Lathiyades. That poor guy. For all fourteen billion years of his life, I took my anger out on him, I made his life a living hell just so I would feel better, and for what? Pitiful fucking emotions? I made someone go through fucking hell simply because I WANTED TO FEEL BETTER? I am a fucking monster. I should be eaten by bird and when the sun rises, heal completely, just to be eaten some more. I should forever push a stone uphill like Sisyphus. I should be forever cursed to hold up the Earth like Atlas. I should be punished like the monster I am.
What in the bloody hell am I thinking? Those are all horrible punishments beyond the scope of what I did. If I should be punished in any means, I should be killed, quickly and painlessly. I killed Lathiyades and his blood, I should have the standard punishment, and that is death. Death by lethal injection. Yeah, that sounds pretty painless.
Why do I deserve a painless death? I want to avenge him, not pussy out. I guess I'm looking to slay the dragon without actually lifting the sword. What a pathetic thing to do. That is the worst possible reason for me to do anything. If I really wanted to avenge him, I would bring him and his entire bloodline back and let him kill me himself. No middle man bullshit.
But how would I do this? I guess I should look around his family's living quarters. I can't exactly do moonbase because that's been depressurized, and I can't do Chrystalis' house because, well, that's demolished. I guess my next clue would be Campanth's townhouse. But he was always trying to stay low key, what would he hide? A mustard bottle? If he was really about being lowkey, he wouldn't be hiding something major in his house.
But it wouldn't hurt to check it out at least, ever since I was fired from that damn company, I'm not exactly pressed for time...
I've heard that there is a memorial for him in front of his house, I guess retribution begins with respecting the dead. That's what I would have done before my fourty billion year pout of insanity. I really need to get my old life yet. My security account with the company has billions of dollars by now, I could live comfortably if I wanted to. I could live truly comfortably for the rest of my pathetic seventy five year life. How long do I have left, exactly? All that work fogged my memory.
Why am I wondering about this? I could live comfortably if I didn't die before I found Lathiyades. I probably won't live long enough to see him and his bloodline recovered. There's a chance that I will NEVER be able to recover Lathiyades. I will then have to live the rest of my life in regret that I was unable to do the right thing, that I was incapable of saving a life. I would have to live knowing that someone died at my psychopathic, insane hands.
No matter how comfortably well-off I'd be, no matter how much I helped a community, no matter patriotic I am, I will sit in knowledge knowing that I killed for nothing but my own selfish needs. I don't want that life, and that's why I desperately hope that I'll succeed. That's why, deep down inside, I will keep fighting to bring back this poor soul that I ripped apart until think my last thought.