Safe Under Lock and Key
#11 of The Silence of the Savior
Ch 11
Time passed as they sat on the couch, some movie on TV dancing across the screen but neither paying it any attention. Even though she had assured him that nothing was wrong, her eyes, her breathing, her very posture betrayed the truth. She couldn't keep her mind from wondering back to her own apartment; how sad it would seem now, how lonely. And what would he do when she was gone? The thought of another woman brought a sting to her eyes.
As she whipped her eyes for the third time, he asked her again if anything was wrong. She could only smile, though it never reached her eyes, and shake her head. His own frustration with himself was started to boil inside of him. He had no idea what was bothering her, not because she couldn't talk, but because he had no idea how to talk to her. All he had ever talked about was himself and his work, and yet that seemed to please her. But now she would hardly look at him.
He did the only thing he could, the only thing he knew how. Reaching over and lifting her chin to face him, he hovered for a moment before he brought his lips to hers. She relaxed into the kiss, the feeling of his warm breath hitting her face making her heart jump, though it was more of a half-hearted hop. The thought of him with another woman made her tremble. She wrapped her arms around him to try and hold on to both him and herself, but it was hardly working. Anything she could do to keep him with her, she was willing to try. Maybe if she gave herself without worry...like the other women, maybe he would stay with her.
Pulling on him, she laid him down on top of her, trying to hold their bodies as close together as possible. His mind raced as one of her paws fell to his ass, pulling him higher onto her. Even as his cock started to twitch excitedly, something didn't seem right to him. Leaving his ass, both her paws went to his shirt and started to lift it up, but instead of raising his arms, he only raised his paw to her cheek. Surprise opened his eyes and he braced himself over her. Looking down, her face confirmed the tears he had felt on her cheek; she was crying.
"Sunn..." Her own paw went to her cheek and felt her own tears. It was too much. Both her paws covered her face, ashamed of herself as Jared watched her break down completely. Still braced above her, he tried to sooth her. "It's alright, I..." What could he say? There was nothing he could do for her, nothing he knew. Resting his head on hers he let out a frustrated sigh. "I'm way out of my depths here..." Looking down at her again, he rubbed his paw over hers. "Sunn, I need help... I don't know what to do for you... Is this really what you want?"
She managed to shake her head, her humiliation complete. "Then why..." her frame trembled again and he let out a sigh. "It's alright. You don't have to. It's..." he realized the truth as he was saying it, "it's not what I want." She sniffed loudly as her paws fell away from her face. Searching deep in his eyes she saw the conflict, yet she saw certainty. Reaching a paw up to him, she traced the color change in his fur, her tears slowing as he leaned into the touch.
He could see the question in her eyes, but he was not strong enough to answer it. What did he want?... Not yet. But when she didn't receive an answer, her heart wasn't sad. He may not know what he wanted, but that meant that it could still be her. A glimmer of hope shown in her eyes and his heart surged again. Taking her cheek in his paw, he smiled at her, placing another kiss on her lips before he pulled her back to a sitting position. Wrapping his arm around her, she let her head rest on his shoulder, closing her eyes and loving his warmth, however fleeting it might be.
They both woke with a start as the phone rang. Stretching as he stood, muscles sore from the awkward position they had fallen asleep in, he crossed to the phone. "Hello?... Oh hey. No we just ended up falling asleep on the couch...No we haven't, was anythi-......really...Alright, I'll tell her... No I'll tell her. It's fine Jack...No, it is good news...I'll tell her!" The phone hit the receiver hard, making her jump mid yawn. She stared at his back for long moments, watching the muscles tense through his shirt. Confused she stood and crossed to him, making him jump as she touched his shoulder.
He looked at her for a moment, the expression on his face somewhere between anger, frustration, and concern. Opening his mouth once or twice, nothing came out. Finally he took a breath and met her worried eyes. "That was Jack. He...he said there was something on the news about the guys who attacked you. One of them, the Beaver, was arrested today. Jack said now would be the best time for you to...if you wanted..." his face was pained, "to go home." She felt like she had been punched in the gut; even staggered a little at the thought registered. She could go home. She could... leave.
The smile that had tweaked her lips faded as she met Jared's eyes. She could feel his frustration as her own. Things had just started to look up, maybe even in the right direction for her. Now it was all over. Turning away, looking at the carpet, she nodded. ‘It's too soon! You're not ready, let him know that!...' All she could do was nodded again, her paws twisting over each other in front of her.
Jared's frustration faded, seeing the torment on her face. Glancing at the clock he held back a curse. "If you are going to go, you probably should now. Before it gets dark, I mean." She nodded again, but her eyes never left her paws. Noticing them, he let out a sigh as he reached out and held them in his own. He smiled as she met his eyes. "I'll see you again soon, ok." It wasn't a question; she gave a small smile back.
She could feel the tears starting to push at her eyes again so she tore them away from him. She looked around with an awkward feeling, like she was leaving something, but there was nothing of hers, except maybe... she shook her head and started for the door.
As she took hold of the knob she hesitated. Torn as he watched her, unsure what he should do, he just stood there. Still holding the knob, she turned and he caught a glimpse of something in her eyes before she smiled at him. He smiled back awkwardly as she turned back to the door and opened it. Crossing quickly to the door as she stepped through it, he opened his maw to say something, but she didn't turn back. As the door closed and the latch clicked, so did his jaw. Sighing again, he turned and leaned against the door. It didn't feel right, to just have her leave like that. But what could he do?
His paws at his temples, he pressed them in small circles, trying to get his head to think clearly. Suddenly his eyes opened. He looked around for a moment, unsure, but it was still plain. Cursing at himself and he ran for his bedroom door, ‘Would have got it sooner if she had hit me!'
She had to focus on breathing, focus hard enough to keep herself from crying. As the glass door closed behind her, she looked over at the wall. At the top left was Jared's name and the button to buzz him. Hesitating for a moment, she chuckled a little and shook her head as she started down the stairs. ‘What good would that do?' At the bottom of the stairs she looked around, getting her bearings, before she turned to the right and started home. Her heart sank a little, remembering that it was the same way Jared had brought her the night he and Jack saved her. But lost in thought, she didn't hear someone calling her name and she rounded the corner.
He broke into a run, not wanting to lose sight of her for too long. "Sunn!" Finally she stopped, just before going around another building and saw him. At first she was surprised, but her maw broke into a smile as she saw Jared running towards her. He was hardly breathing heavy as he stopped next to her, but the smile on his face seemed to give his whole body a little jolt of energy. "I thought I should at least walk you home, make sure you get there ok."
Her own smile matched his, even giddy as she turned and they both headed down the street. "I also figured it would be good to know where you live, since calling you isn't really an option!" Her smiled only broadened as she picked up the pace.
There wasn't a whole lot to say, but neither of them seemed to mind. The only point it was uncomfortable was about twenty minutes into the walk. Sunn was suddenly very jumpy and her ears twitched at every sound. Looking around, Jared recognized the area. Glancing to the row of buildings at their right, Jared saw the entrance to the alley way where they had found Sunn the night she was attacked. Looking her up and down, he still wondered how those guys had ever even snuck up on her. As he noticed her paws clenching in on themselves, there was a pain in his gut. Unsure what to do, he reached over and took her paw in his. At least her claws would pinch his hands, instead of her own.
To his surprise, a shiver ran through her arm as her muscles relaxed. Her paws stopped clenching and her pace relaxed. A few minutes' walk past the area and even her eyes seemed less tense, not looking around wildly almost expecting an attack. He let his grip on her paw loosen, but, without even realizing it, her own tightened. Confused at first, he felt the warmth radiating from both their paws and how comforting it felt. He smiled and squeezed back.
Another ten minutes of walking and Sunn turned a final corner and climbed three short, tattered looking concrete steps. Letting go of his paw, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a small ring with three keys on it. Looking around, Jared's brow wrinkled in confusion. Just across the street he saw a decent looking house and another apartment building, why did this one look so degraded? Yet as he looked closer he could tell that the house was abandoned and dead looking and the apartment building the same as the one they stood in front of.
Only two storied, most of the windows, broken or not, with boards or planks of wood sealing them shut. The steps cracked in several places, leading up to a door that looked like it was kicked down a couple of times. Glancing back on the door, he saw her hardly turn the knob, not even having to unlock it, before it swung open dangerously. Turning she smiled at him and motioned to follow her.
Stepping uneasily through the door frame as she let go and it swung fast and slammed behind him. He only turned away from it when he was sure it wouldn't fall to pieces right there. Many of the doors, as he followed her down the hall, looked like they were scratched or kicked till the paint chipped, and he wrinkled his noes at a strange smell. He felt a little better to see the stairs at the end of the hall that she started to climb, had a railing on it, but the moment he touched it there was a sharp sting on his paw pads. He hissed and pulled his hand away, seeing the whole thing covered in sharp rust. Glancing at his hand, making sure there were no cuts, he eyed the railing before following her up the stairs without it.
The second door on the left was where she stopped, picking a key on the ring she held. Watching, he saw her put it in the top of three separate key-slots. Turning it, he heard it thunk like a deadbolt. A second key in the next slot clicked like a smaller deadbolt. Finally the last key went into the slot on the knob itself. It clicked and she turned the knob, but it only gave a metallic chink sound. She tried again before she braced herself and shoved her shoulder into is as she turned it once more. He was surprised there was no wood splintering with the force the door gave open.
After tearing his eyes away from the old paint still clinging to the door frame, he made to looked around as he closed the door behind him, but it wouldn't close all the way. Looking back at it he say the levers to thrown the deadbolts and a chain link handing above them, but there door hardly touched the frame. He tried to push it gently, but it wouldn't go any further. He jumped as her paw appeared beside in on the door. She smiled awkwardly as she shoved hard, the door give suddenly and slamming shut. Before he could gauge her reaction, she turned back toward the apartment and headed for the small table in the middle of the small tiled area.
Finally getting a chance to look around himself he found a few cupboards on the walls, a sink, and a fridge; he realized that he was standing in her kitchen, the dimensions of which were close to the size of his master bathroom. The small square table she stood next to was hardly the width of one of his counter tops, as he noticed she didn't have any. As she stood next to the one chair, that look more like a rusty folding chair, he watched her drop her keys on the table next to a little grey vase with some cute purple flowers, looking in desperate need of new water. Picking it up she made a face as she crossed to the small metal basin sink and held it under the small water stream.
Beyond the tile Jared saw a faded dark blue rug, covering a space slightly smaller than his kitchen, in the middle of which sat a bed. It probably measured a full and it was still half the size of his, sticking out from the right wall, covered in pail grey sheets matching the material hanging in front of the only window, directly across from the door. Hers appeared to be one of the only windows in the building not boarded up, and practically clean. Yet he could tell, looking around, that even though it was only and decrepit looking, with the paint on the walls cracking and chipping from age and water damage, that it was neat and clean as it could possible be. As he stepped out of the kitchen into her living space, on the left wall next to a door he assumed lead to the bathroom a sigh caught his breath.
Setting the little vase back on the table, she turned and saw him standing and staring at her art wall. Crossing to him, she watched as his wide eyes looked over her drawings, some on actual canvas paper, others just sheets ripped out of art pads or taken from printers. Most were piled on the floor, some on top of that little vase on the table, while some of her better work was stuck with tacks to the wall, practically making a collage of scenes and faces that she favored.
Kneeling down, he barely touched the corner of one of the pictures of the vase. "Could I have one of these?" He looked up at her to see her response. "I would gladly pay you for it." He stood and reached into his pocket for his wallet. "How about..." Taking his shoulder to get his attention, she smiled and shook his head. Looking down, he knelt and picked up one of them. "I couldn't just take it, that's two drawings I would have..." She cut him off and turned away, not listening any more.
Walking back into the kitchen, she opened a cupboard next to the fridge and he saw a stack of clear things sitting on a sheet of shelving paper on the bottom shelf. On the top was a few bowls and plates with four mugs and a few glasses. Grabbing one of the clear things, she crossed back to him and took the drawing from his hands. As she opened it, Jared realized it was a kind of protective art folder. She smiled as she handed it back to him, and silenced him as he made to protest again.
Going back to the still open cupboard, she reached for a glass and motioned to him. "No, thanks, I'm not thirsty." She smiled and closed the cupboard, setting the glass down on the table. Opening the fridge she looked into it and sighed. She tried to close it quickly, but he caught a glimpse of how empty it was. Half a carton of milk, a bowl with a few apples in it, some other scattered foods and two trays of what had to be leftovers wrapped in aluminum. He cursed silently at himself, ‘No wonder she never ate very much...' He had known a few artists when he was in his last few years of school, he knew how hard it could be, but she was so good he hadn't even thought about it till now.
Turning to the sink, she let the water run till it was cold and filled small glass about half way. The water looked a little cloudy and discolored; he wouldn't be surprised if it was iron, like well water. Everything here seemed so run down and decrepit, yet he got no sense of loss or frustration from her. Before he could stop himself he was asking her. "How long have you lived here?" She thought for a moment and held up her hands, signing ten, then ten again. "Twenty? Oh, since you were twenty?" She nodded, holding up her hands again she signed eight. "Eight years here? So you're twenty eight?" She nodded again, smiling, before she pointed to him. "Me? I'm 30, I've lived in my place for about three years, since I designed it and the construction was finished."
He looked around again before he met her eyes; he could feel the worried look on his own face. "I don't mean to offend you, but... It doesn't seem that safe around here." She smiled and laughed a little before she shrugged. ‘How can she be so uncaring of her own safety?!?' He suddenly felt very anxious about not wanting to leaving, especially since the colors coming through the window were starting to change to sunset. Looking down at himself, he realized that he was fidgeting just as she usually did when she was nervous. Meeting her eyes, he could see her staring at him in wonder.
"I-uh...I guess I should be getting home soon. It's a little ways back." Her smiled faded slightly as she glanced to the window, her nod almost solemn. When she didn't try to stop him, his heart dropped a little, but as he turned toward the door he stopped himself. Embarrassment started to creep into his cheeks as he held out his hand.. "Um... I brought this." She noticed, for the first time, that is had a light grey shirt folded in it. "I just... well, you liked the other one so much and... I felt bad for shredding it.. so I...I guess it's stupid huh?" He lowered his arm, but she stopped it, taking the shirt from him and smiling as she sniffed it. She scent of him on it made her shiver, smiling harder and she hugged it. As they both meet each others gaze, both their cheeks darkened.
Turning again to the door he grabbed the knob and gave a slight pull... nothing moved. Again, but nothing even budged. He heard her snicker and he threw a glare at her, which only made her laugh harder. Crossing to him and taking the knob from him with both paws, she braced herself and gave a firm yank. A chill ran down his spin as the door screeched free from the frame. ‘At least it makes it hard for people to get in too.'
He stepped out into the hallway, but stopped as he looked down the decrepit hallway to the terrifying stairs. Looking back to her, just through the door frame, his cheeks darkened again. "Sunn..." A visual shiver ran down her eyes and she smiled, loving the sound of her name from his strong voice. "Would you like to come over for dinner tomorrow night?" She blinked in surprise, a few times before she smiled again. Her eyes shown as she nodded, practically hugging the door frame in excitement. He smiled again. "Ok. I'll see you at my place around...6?" She nodded again, already running over the way there in her mind, making sure she wouldn't get lost.
He smiled before he turned toward the stairs. But before he had taken even a step, he stopped and looked back at her. Hesitating for a moment he closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to hers. She inhaled sharply through her nose, surprise making her blink a few times before she closed her eyes and leaned into him. Raising a paw to her cheek, he held her maw closer to his; he could feel her silent murr. They were there for long moments, maws just pressed against each others, seemingly content. It seemed a little unreal as he finally pulled away from her. They both smiled and he brushed his nose against hers before he let his paw fall and he turned to walk toward the stairs.
"Oh, isn't that sweet!" Sunn jumped at the voice, just as Jared was out of sight, before she leaned against the door frame and smiled. Catching her breath she waved to the little old Raccoon, Mrs. Janken, who lived next door to her. "Always knew you'd find a handsome one, deary!" They exchanged a smile as she stepped out of her doorway with her cane. "I was just heading down to the mail box, but really you too look handsome together, no matter what the tales always said. Tribal wars in this day and age?!? Really now, I knew someone would be smart enough to get past that nonsense." As she went to close her door, Sunn waved at her and patted her chest. Ducking inside to grab her keys and stepped out again, closing her door. "Oh thank you dear, that's so kind of you."
With nimble hands, she tossed her key to Sunn. Smiling, she turned and bounded down the stairs and down the hall to the mail boxes. Glancing out the faded window set in the front door, she saw Jared just as he rounded the corner, and her smile grew even bigger. Turning to the wall, she pulled out another small key ring and opened both her and Mrs. Janken's mail boxes. Looking at her own mail as she locked both boxes she sighed; more bills. Hopefully she would sell a few drawing this week.
The smile started to fade off his face, even thought the light feeling refused to let go of his heart. Looking back over his shoulder, he couldn't help but feel worried about her. Sure she'd lived there for eight years, and she could take care of herself fairly well, but it really didn't look that safe. ‘They got her before. What if those assholes..' No, he couldn't let himself think about that. Letting his mind wander back to tomorrow, he started thinking about what he could make for dinner.