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A Poem For My Brother

Christmas has come

but there are no cheers

and there hasn't been

for many years

you left us in in the morning light

six years ago tonight

So brother, you finally made me cry

brother, why'd you have to die

I'm sorry I didn't answer that call

that you made before your big fall

because maybe just maybe if I had

you'd still be here with me mom and dad

You were young and you felt so alone

even though you were in your own home

so you leapt from the top of a highway overpass

and met with concrete and broken glass

and there are tears in my eyes as I write this Michael

I wish I knew how to right this Michael

It's my fault you're gone, never to be found

it's my fault your only friend is the cold, hard ground

if only I had been around more

then you wouldn't be under the worlds floor

I was gone. I was overseas.

I was in London under Christmas trees

you were in Dublin when you made the choice

at twelve you had finally found your voice

and you used it to cry out in self violence

before using it to give yourself eternal silence

Regret, a coldness in the air

I remember your laugh

and the faces you made, at which people would stare

god what I wouldn't give to have you back

More than just an arm and a leg

I'd give all of me just to sit by a lake

next to you for one more day

And Mikey, I'll remember you in the stories I tell

but none will be about when you fell

they will be about you voice

and the way you smiled

when you played outside with your friend Kyle

I remember when I got the call

that you had forced yourself to fall

I broke into tears and collapsed in the street

I couldn't seem to find my feet

There was a cold that had nothing to do with the season

and inside I knew the reason

forgive me I was partying with my mates

forgive me, I called back too late

forgive me father for I have sinned

I've killed my brother in the cold December wind

-Yours truly Alexander