A Poem For My Brother
A tribute to my brother Mikey, who committed suicide on Christmas day of 2008. I wrote this last Christmas and decided to upload it.
Michael Boyd Ferrum
1996-2008
A Poem For My Brother
Christmas has come
but there are no cheers
and there hasn't been
for many years
you left us in in the morning light
six years ago tonight
So brother, you finally made me cry
brother, why'd you have to die
I'm sorry I didn't answer that call
that you made before your big fall
because maybe just maybe if I had
you'd still be here with me mom and dad
You were young and you felt so alone
even though you were in your own home
so you leapt from the top of a highway overpass
and met with concrete and broken glass
and there are tears in my eyes as I write this Michael
I wish I knew how to right this Michael
It's my fault you're gone, never to be found
it's my fault your only friend is the cold, hard ground
if only I had been around more
then you wouldn't be under the worlds floor
I was gone. I was overseas.
I was in London under Christmas trees
you were in Dublin when you made the choice
at twelve you had finally found your voice
and you used it to cry out in self violence
before using it to give yourself eternal silence
Regret, a coldness in the air
I remember your laugh
and the faces you made, at which people would stare
god what I wouldn't give to have you back
More than just an arm and a leg
I'd give all of me just to sit by a lake
next to you for one more day
And Mikey, I'll remember you in the stories I tell
but none will be about when you fell
they will be about you voice
and the way you smiled
when you played outside with your friend Kyle
I remember when I got the call
that you had forced yourself to fall
I broke into tears and collapsed in the street
I couldn't seem to find my feet
There was a cold that had nothing to do with the season
and inside I knew the reason
forgive me I was partying with my mates
forgive me, I called back too late
forgive me father for I have sinned
I've killed my brother in the cold December wind
-Yours truly Alexander