FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

The sun was bright as it cast across my bedroom, the slow creep of it went across the ground while I leaned my head back against the head of my bed and watched it. I knew I should get out of bed, but it was warm, so very warm and someone was lying beside me. I had never fallen sleep with someone next to me that wasn't my brother, it was strange to feel the way that the warm arm wrapped over my waist and the soft sounds of Hiasaki breathing. He didn't snore, it was just a warm steady sound of breathing that made it fade into the background as something comfortable. I was more comfortable with it than I could have ever imagined. I had woken up to his arm wrapped over me, my body nestled against the cup of his warmth and pressing intimately close against me. I hadn't shifted much since opening my eyes, it felt good to have him holding me, the black paw pressed along my stomach lightly, the claws teasing through the soft short fur. It was lovely and alluring to have them teasing against me in such an intimate way.

There was one intimate part of being held like this that was impossible to ignore, his body pressed against my backside, I was well aware of certain parts of his anatomy pressing against me. How strange that I knew that I should feel uncomfortable, but at the same time, I felt only the warmth of having his body caressing me, the rightness of it all. I didn't move as the hard line rested along the crease of my ass, just beneath my tail. If I had wanted to, I could have done something about it, I could have shifted and ground back against him if I really wanted to. Part of me wanted to explore just that, see what would happen if I brushed my fingers back against him, to feel him wake up and sensuously press himself against me harder. That thought was a fleeting one as I stirred and came more awake, feeling him shift and tighten his hold around my waist. It was all too confusing, too jostled together and strange for me to possibly sort out at the moment.

"Rrrrh...." The soft growl made my ears twitch back and I involuntarily tensed up as the bed shifted, the covers sliding around strangely as Hiasaki moved beside me and I felt his muzzle tucking down against the bare curve of my shoulder.

I could feel the length of him pressed against me, but it was the hot breath caressing the nape of my neck that sent the heat fluttering through me. It was a delight, a pleasure so entirely unexpected that I had to ball my fingers up into the covers to keep from chuffing out to myself. How could something so slight set my nerves afire? He shifted again when I tensed and I felt his arm tighten instead of just draping against me. His paw pressed along my navel, brushing through the soft fur in a delicate caress that made me shiver back against him. And that was what brought him awake entirely, the bed moving as his other arm pushed beneath him and he lifted his head up with a slight noise that had me tilting my head back at him. His features were slightly contorted from sleep, eyes not quite understanding what they were looking at and when he did. He shifted back, his hips moving away and his body drawing distance between us.

"Sorry, I tend to get cozy when I sleep." The fox murmured and gave a whimsical smile. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes." My voice sounded strange to my ears and I flushed slightly, trying not to blush any harder. "I.. thank you for staying with me."

"Rrrh? Of course, I wasn't going to leave you here." He smiled, showing his teeth while his paw relaxed on my stomach. "Of course, it was a selfish pleasure as well being able to see your apartment, let alone wake up with you."

The way he spoke was flattering, almost as if it weren't an imposition to have him here, it made me shift in the bed, turning to face him while his fingers ran against my side. It wasn't quite innocent, but it certainly didn't press any boundaries, I could have ignored it if I had wanted to and he probably would have been fine with it. I wasn't entirely sure if I wanted to ignore it.

"Thank you for being a gentleman." I whispered softly, my tone low and quiet as I reached up to touch his side, my fingers encountering my sheets as I did so. "I know not everyone would have."

"You can always trust a fox." Hiasaki gave a slow sly wink, tipping his muzzle down to nearly brush his nose against my own.

"You told me not to trust a fox." I countered and swallowed a little, I felt a faint edge of panic as he held me, but it was far away when his nose brushed my own.

"Well, you can always trust a fox with the big things." He amended and his paw ran up along my side gently, caressing along the sweep of my hip. "It's the small things you have to watch out for, because we delight in our mischief."

"We cats have our secrets as well." I touched my hand along his back, sliding beneath the sheets of it's own accord, he was so very warm and alive. He was touching me gently without an ounce of intention behind it, but I knew it was there.

"I hope I am not one of your secrets." He murmured softly and his green eyes flicked over me, looking along my muzzle. "Though I have hopes you might share secrets with me."

This was something solid in my life, the worries and vertigo of my fear fell away as I leaned in and gently let him slide his hands against my bare fur and right where the subtle dappling traced it's way to either side of my spine. I loved the way it felt there, the gentle caress that made me want to arch upwards in absolute delight as he tilted his muzzle forward and brushed it against my own. I thought, for a moment, that he was coming to kiss me, but it was something far more intimate. His cheek and muzzle slipped along my own, I could feel his smaller muzzle brush right along the bare fur just behind my ear as my own muzzle nestled towards the head fur with a bit of a breath that tickled my nose. His breath was warm, caressing the edge of my ear as our cheeks pressed against one another and he began to rub his head up and down very slowly, almost so delicate that I could barely feel it rubbing against me and oh how delightful it was!

He stimulated the hidden gland there, something that made my fingers reach up to hold him as I pressed against him and slipped forward, sliding my fur against his own and tasting the faint sweet scent of him touching my fur. It was a throwback of bygone days when scent meant more than just telling species apart and sharing a family aroma, this was something we had done to mark trees and territory. It was something possessive, not dominant, but sharing and exchanging as my own scent was tangled through his fur and his hand reached up to cup directly behind my neck and suddenly began to knead along the nape. I swallowed at the way they stroked the loose skin, gathering it up gently and relaxing again, stimulating in a way that shocked me and a soft noise ran from my lips. It wasn't.. quite.. a moan, but it was not far away as I ran my tongue out to caress against the edge of his ear and felt my stomach tighten.

I wanted him, not in a half drugged way, not even in a way that I entirely understood, but oh how desired his touch to stay with me. He pulled gently at my scruff and I heard his warm rumble when I went limp against him, pliant in his hands as his other paw caressed downwards along the line of my back. I could feel him pressed to me in a way that made a faint touch of panic rise up in the back of my throat, but I swallowed it back down. He kneaded my scruff again and ran his nose right along my inner ear, brushing out a heated trickle of breath that made me curve myself forward and bite my lower lip. I pressed to him, it didn't feel quite right, my body wasn't expecting it to, but oh did it delight me to feel him along the line of my stomach.

"Do you want more, Shall?" Hiasaki murmured in my ear softly, tickling the edge so I swallowed a breath and then sighed out as he licked just behind the ear and trailed down.

"I do..." The answer came automatically to my lips, I wasn't thinking quite right, but then he moved and his weight shifted over me. I was pushed to my back beneath him as the covers roiled between us and I was staring up at his smiling face. "I shouldn't."

"Why?" He leaned down to kiss me, the gentle caress a question mark on my lips. "We do not need to do more, kitten."

"It's..complicated." I faltered, the magic breaking slightly as I felt his kiss slide along my jaws, his hands slipping up to lightly cup my cheeks.

"It doesn't have to be complicated, it can be simple." He stopped and lifted his head up, I felt him against me, his arousal, unimpeded and honest as he tilted his head. The bold black markings on his face forming a sinful little smile that made me answer him with a shy smile of my own.

"It doesn't have to be, but it is." I offered and swallowed. "I'm not...ready for this."

YES! GOD YES I AM!! I yelled in my own mind wildly, my body was hot and flushed strangely, if my mind would be silent.

"Ahh.." Hiasaki let out a laugh and leaned down to touch noses with me. "I am overeager, but some things are worth waiting for, mnhh?"

I wanted him, I wanted him in a way that was almost frightening and he it had nothing to do with just his physical body against my own and everything to do with what he offered. He didn't look angry or frustrated, though I was sure he was hiding those emotions from me as he shifted above and started to slide off me, one arm remaining against me. I wasn't ready for this, I wasn't even certain how it would all work, I knew some options certainly didn't appeal to me, but I didn't want this to end. I wanted more from him, more than just a kiss on the lips, more than the touch of his fingers on my nape and the way that he touched me. I wanted him, his sly ways and merry laughter, his wit and gentle caring, the way he was remaining pressed against me as if happy with just holding me in the warm bed.

"I'm not ready for all of it.." I spoke softly, my voice trembling a little bit as I shifted in the bed and rolled, sliding over him partially. "I didn't say I wasn't ready for at least a little."

"Rrrnh?" The fox lifted a brow at me as I moved my hands to either side of his hips, the heat was filling my senses as I tilted my head away from looking at him.

"I can't promise to be very good, but I want...more." I was almost stammering, it was beyond bold and his eyes widened a little as I shifted lower, planting a gentle kiss against his soft white furred chest.

"Light above, Shall, you don't have too." Hiasaki laughed softly and reached down to cup under my muzzle. "As I said, some things are worth waiting for."

"I know I don't." I was breathing faster, I'd never done anything like this with anyone, I had seen it done, I'd seen videos, but what I was thinking of was tangling through my mind wildly. "I.. j-just be patient with me?"

I rubbed my cheek deliberately into his palm and felt his fingers caressing right over the sensitive gland to make a shiver run down my back before I kissed his chest again. He smelled like all of the best spices in the world, delicious and sweet, promising and safe as I nuzzled my nose in and my hands slipped lower to cup against his hips. How many times had I wondered what this would be like? My fantasies were so rippled about that they rarely made sense, but right now something made sense and I kissed down along the dimple of his belly button and was rewarded with a swift intake of breath.

"Always." He breathed out and his fingers caressed back along my neck while I touched my nose right against the band of his shorts, my hands almost shaking as I curled my fingers against the edge of them. I drew in a breath, my heart fluttering wildly and began to draw the fabric downwards, the covers sliding away from us both.

~ ~ * ~ ~

"Shallen, it's good to see you again, though I had wished it would be under different circumstances." Dr. Drake's voice was warm and welcoming, though they still made me feel a twinge of shame as I sat on the cold table.

The puma walked into the room full of vitality and life, his mismatched eyes fixed on me with interest as I remained seated and kept my paws in my lap. I was alone, nervously alone, but I didn't know who to trust to come with me about this. I had thought about talking to CJ or even Hiasaki, but the former made me squirm with embarrassment at admitting what had happened and the latter was still in the dark about who I really was. My mind flickered there, lingering and shifting over the morning spent together, but I refused to let it stay there as the doctor pulled a stool out and settled down with his paws already being wetted down with disinfectant. Funny how the sight of another feline wearing a lab coat was enough to make me forget that I had very nearly lost my virginity. I had lost a piece of my virginity as a matter of fact, even if it was only my muzzle. The thought made the heat rush higher up to my cheeks, but it was tempered by the nervous flip flop of the doctor.

It wasn't possible for me to be comfortable here, I had spent so much in the midst of doctor's offices that they were always nerve wracking. My mother had always tried to make it pleasant for me, she'd make sure to take me somewhere afterwards or give me some treat that would make things feel as if it was something to look forward to, not that that had worked. The thought of her brought a familiar lump to my throat, a faint ache that made me swallow around the uncomfortable ball and shifted my attention to the doctor. He wasn't working for someone else, he was on my side, I had been honest when I called, Hiasaki had at least imparted that I needed to be honest even it was embarrassing and nerve wracking. It was hard not to agree with the fox, not after last night when everything had gotten so out of control.

"I thought.. there might be some affect effects." I offered quietly and reached into my pocket. "I didn't know what else to do, I had a friend with me last night, but I have never acted like this in my life."

"Narcotics and drinking will create some strong reactions." Skan tilted his head slightly to one side and frowned at me. "Are you taking your hormone pills as well?"

"No." I kept the word clipped, my mind trying not to think back to the fact that I still had the crumbled prescription stuffed into a pair of bloodstained jeans in my closet.

"I see.." The puma didn't offer any sort of condemnation, but there was still a tone that made me blow out a sigh as he reached up to tilt my head down towards him, one hand right under my chin. "What were you taking?"

"I'm not... really that sure. A friend gave them to me after m-my.. something happened." I finished lamely and tried not to flinch as the light flashed in my eyes. "He said they'd help me sleep, I have some though."

"You should be more careful. It's not uncommon for transitional people to develop some addictions and self-medicate in the early months." He was looking dead on, close enough I could see the strange eyes pinning me in place in the eye he wasn't flashing the light into. "If you have them, I'd like to take a look at them, yes. How long have you been taking them?"

His hands were gentle as he touched me, but it still made me shift a bit uncomfortably as he coaxed my paper robe open and listened to my heart. Last night I had been so out of control, this morning I felt normal, a little fuzzy and dry mouthed, but normal, but the memory of how I had acted was beyond terrifying for me. I was normally very in control of myself. Hiasaki had told me that seeing my doctor might not be a bad idea, and his words held more weight with me than I could possibly imagine they ever world, especially when he had kissed me gently at the door. It had been so romantic the way he had touched me, cupping my cheeks as if he were afraid to break me, murmuring a tender goodbye. It made me regret I had sent him away so soon. I had wanted to stay in bed all day, I had even thought about it, but there were too many questions in the air.

I had... done more with him than I had ever thought I would do with anyone in my life. I was still a bit shocked I had done it, that I hadn't had a panic attack, that I had been able to actually enjoy the heat of the moment. He hadn't been frustrated or forceful, he had taken his time with me and seemed to take pleasure in every touch I had offered him. It had been a heady experience, filled with heat and need so sharp that it had nearly been painful. He had been...confused when I didn't want something in return, when I had grown flustered and told him no, though I was sure he now realized just how virginal I was. I couldn't do anything more, I had to talk to him, I had to find a way to talk to him and find out just where we stood. Even if he wasn't alright with me, who I was, I would take with me a beautiful memory.

"Shallen?" Dr. Skan brought me back to the real world as he removed the stethoscope from his ears and gave a frown. I tried to remember the last question.

"Not long, a week? A little more?" I faltered and drew my brows together. "Things have been a little muddled."

"I can imagine." He held out his paw and I handed over the white pills, flinching at my automatic feel of anticipation at the sight of them. "Is there are particular trigger for taking these? I know you have started therapy, is it difficult for you talking things out or simply that you are remembering your past?"

"I.. lost my mother." I spoke the words softly, feeling the ache in my chest contracting as I dared to say them and his brows rose up high in the air and then pursed together in silent sympathy.

I didn't feel the stab of pain, the sudden shock of loss and helplessness I had before when I used that phrase, I had braced for it and even felt the anticipation of it coming, but it hadn't arrived. There was an emptiness lurking where my mother had been, but I was able to say it out loud as the doctor flicked his fingers through the pills, stirring them around and rolling them up to get a look at the numbers before drawing in his breath in a bit of a hiss. His mismatched eyes hardened and I braced myself as he set them to one side, well out of my way and tilted my muzzle back down so that he could go back to staring at my eyes as if they might tell him something.

"You've been taking a high dose pain killer, and not one that should be handed out by 'friends'." He murmured. "How many have you been taking and how frequently."

"Just a couple, normally halves, and..." I tried to recall how often I took them, but the days were muddled over. "When one wore out I'd take the next one, I didn't really measure how many I took, it was just supposed to help me sleep."

The cougar was frowning at the pills before setting them to one side and out of the way, his expression didn't seem to be reassuring as I squirmed on the table, there was something there that made my stomach twist. He returned to me without saying a word, instead continued looking me over in the most normal way possible, but there was a measure of silence that made me want to ask what was wrong. I kept my tongue still through it all, letting myself relax and try not to question the seriousness that lingered in his eyes and the tightness of his mouth. This never should have happened, I should have been stronger, I should have never touched them, I didn't know why I had.

"Who gave these to you?" Skan spoke as he reached for his clip board, the eyes flicking over the writing before starting to add more text.

"A.. friend." I hesitated, but his eyes flicked up to give me a long look.

"You do know why these are prescribed, don't you?" He kept writing as he spoke in a conversational tone.

"For pain?" I ventured and twitched my ears back, trying to see what he was writing in my file, but it was tilted just enough I couldn't see it.

"Yes, but typically it's prescribed for another reason. It's a controlled substance because it's often used for violent tendencies and calming them, though I have never used it as such, some of the institutional doctors rely heavily on it with predators that display certain...ear marks that they might become a problem." He watched me as he spoke, keeping his eyes locked on my own, while I fought the urge to squirm. "If someone gave these to you, they are not taking them and that is more than a small problem."

"But.. you don't use them that way." I pointed out, my mind flicking back towards Ivan and his mother. He had said that they were hers, right?

"No, I don't, because they muddle the mind too much and I prefer my patients to be alert, but now is not the time to have someone going off this medication if they are taking it to prevent violent outbursts. If you know someone who is off the medication, you should try and stress that it is... a volatile time for many of us." He set the clip board to one side and rubbed the bridge of his nose briefly. "What I can say is that you didn't do any real damage, but if you've been taking them steadily it's very likely that you will experience some mild withdrawal symptoms, not terrible, but you won't enjoy it. My recommendation is to take today and tomorrow off from work and relax, you may find sleeping uncomfortable, but it is the best thing for it."

"Alright." I answered automatically, my thoughts still on Ivan and his mother. She had never seemed violent she had always been very pleasant and mild. Perhaps they had just been given for pain and there was no harm, if she wasn't taking something meant to keep her calm wouldn't she have begun to show signs of some sort? "I really wasn't feeling up to work anyway."

"Now... why haven't you been taking your replacement therapy?" He sounded so casual when he asked the question, but it brought my mind away from Ivan's family. "Are you having second thoughts?"

"I.. just haven't filled the script yet." I faltered a little and pinned my ears back. "Things happened, my m-mom and other things, I just haven't thought that much about anything except for her... Not really. I even forgot I had the script."

Well, that's mostly true.. I thought ruefully to myself, my thoughts about everything hadn't really been more than fleeting moments of clarity in the midst of sleepiness.

"Have you spoken to the therapist?" He tilted his head, there was no condemnation in his voice, but I winced a little bit.

"No, I missed my last appointment." I admitted and ran a paw through my head fur with a slow stroke, pushing towards my ears. "I haven't even known how to talk to my friends, let alone a stranger, and this really isn't why I'm going to see them."

"You're going to see them because this is going to be a major upheaval in your life, I want you to understand that and accept what it means, and you will also need to really look at your life and who you are now to see who you want to become." Dr. Skan murmured softly. "They will be just as interested in this difficult time as they will be in the day to day obstacles you are going to overcome. And... sometimes speaking with a sympathetic stranger is a little easier than a friend who you might feel will condemn or misunderstand your choices."

"How do you tell someone about what you are going to do?" I asked softly, the question at the tip of my tongue as I rested my paws in lap. "Not a friend, but someone you really.... Like." I finished lamely.

"I'm afraid all of that is very personal, lass." Skan let out a soft sigh as he spoke, but it wasn't the sigh or phrase that brought my ears up.

I felt a strange warmth and flutter in my stomach at what he had called me. It was completely unexpected and entirely thrilling to hear him use the word 'lass' and attribute it to me, it nearly made me forget the question I has asked. It didn't sound strange to me, though... it certainly was different, it felt right and surreal all together in the most delightful way possible. I nearly didn't hear the rest of what he was saying as I mulled over the feeling, but I caught the last bits of it and my interest sharpened immediately.

"...didn't like it at first, I think that he was confused because she very much preferred her men to be more manly, but after time she learned to accept my preferences and enjoys it a great deal. Though, I had wished I had told her when I was younger, but I can't really say that I was confident when I was that young." He smiled at me, but my attention was fixated on what he had said.

"You.. are a girl?" I faltered a little and felt stupid, silly and even more so when the cougar let out a low laugh that had me ducking my head down far.

"Lord, no, I am entirely male, but I must confess that I quite enjoy the feel of silk and lace upon my body and often enjoy clothing that society would frown upon." His smile deepened. "My partner was shocked, but she found out after we had been together a long long time. I spent a long time hiding it from many people."

"So.. I should tell him." I almost whispered those words and wanted to take them back, how could I explain it to him?

"That is personal, Shallen, very personal. Some people enjoy relationships during their transition, but it is no easy task, others prefer lovers and many want no one to touch them until they are 'right'." Dr. Drake shifted in the stool. "Are you speaking of someone casually?"

"No." I answered automatically. This morning hadn't been casual, not at all, it had been anything but casual.

"Then I think you might want to speak with him, and do so honestly. It is my one regret that I didn't tell her when I first experimenting, many things would have been easier and the secrets did neither of us any good." He shook his head, the red and green eyes flicking down briefly.

"I don't know how to tell him, it's not like I'm hiding something small. I shouldn't be seeing him at all, not now and he wants more and I can't even give it to him properly." I spoke my quiet fears, but the doctor only reached over to give a light pat to my leg.

"It's not going to be easy, certainly it won't be something you'll ever want to repeat, but you are young and being daring is the mantel of youth. I suggest you start your conversation somewhere small and see how he reacts, after all, if he is unable to adjust to the idea of you in female clothing then further conversation might not even be needed." He was looking at me with sympathy as I felt my heart sink, he was right. "Just remember, no matter what, that you have options available to you. If you need to talk I would be pleased to take time to speak with you if you cannot speak with your therapist. The most important thing I tell all my patients is that they need a support network."

Will Hiasaki be a part of that network? _ I licked my lips and nodded mutely so that the doctor smiled at me as if pleased that he had been of help. And he had been, I couldn't very well keep this hidden, the fact was that I had every intention of beginning to transition beyond wearing underwear beneath my clothes and outfits in my house. I wanted to dress as what I was inside, what I was going to be, and the fox could hardly miss that change. _I will tell him, this weekend perhaps. I have to tell him.

_ _

Funny that the thought didn't bring the fear I thought it would, instead, I flashed to the sight of him looking down at me, his paw so tender on the nape of my neck. It hadn't been lust I had read there, it was something deeper and stronger. Love had to be enough... didn't it? My load lightened as a smile chased my cheeks.

"Good girl, just keep that smile." The doctor stood up, his smile warmed me as I began to slip from the table. "Keep it and you'll see things will turn out aright."

~ ~ * ~ ~

I felt strange walking into work, light on my paws as if the world was falling away and all the worries were slipping away. Everything and nothing had changed this morning, I wasn't quite sure why the world remained the same when I felt as if it should have all been quite changed to reflect what had happened between the fox and myself. He had spent the night last night again, I had invited him intending to talk to him, but the talked hadn't happened instead I had spent it in his arms. He had held me as we watched movies, not pressuring me, but making it clear that he was enjoying the feel of my body sprawled over his own as we watched the screen. Neither of us had paid much attention to curfew, well, maybe he hadn't, I had known, but hadn't said much, because it was the third night he had spent at my apartment with me and each time I treasured it. Sleeping in bed with him, while we hadn't done more than soft kisses and touches since the one morning, made everything seem alright. What nightmares still lingered were far gone with the feel of his warm body wrapped around me.

It had taken me time to get ready for work, time that was spent feeling eyes on me and my own embarrassment mingled with pride. I had come so far in the last few days, things were going so well, even though I knew that the weekend would mean a long talk, I already had made the promise to myself. I was going to try and do it in a way that wasn't shocking, I wasn't going to step out in one of my outfits, I would introduce him slowly to the idea. He was bisexual, I knew that much, I had found out during one long talk, but that didn't mean he'd want a train wreck like myself. Even thinking that felt... uncharitable, so far he had taken the best and worst parts of me in stride that made me feel as if I were living in a dream. I shivered just a little bit, my mind sliding towards the all too constant dreams I had begun having about him, the ones that didn't end with just my muzzle on him. The ones that went so much further than he had taken me already.

If he had asked me afterwards I would have done more. _ I admitted to myself uncomfortably. _But that isn't quite fair to him, he has to know me, all of me, I'm already pushing the boundaries between us.

_ _

I had thought about talking to him while he was over during the week, I had even started to have the conversation, but I wanted to wait. Over the weekend I would have several days off and at this point in time I couldn't afford to take more days off from work. If it went well, I would have the weekend to celebrate the fact he wasn't going to simply bolt and leave on me, if it didn't... I'd have time to at least mourn what could have been. For the first time in a long time I was able to push the worry away from the back of my mind. There was no use in working myself up over it, for now I was going to enjoy what I had while I had it. My mother would have wanted it that way, and I had a reminder of that fact resting right against my heart. Her necklace was hidden under my shirt, but I could feel its warmth there, and even pretended I could taste her warm familiar scent. She would want me to be happy, that's what she had said the last time I seen her in person. She had wanted my happiness and I would take it where I could find it.

Perhaps it was my mood that blinded me to the changes, at first, but even my rose colored glasses didn't stand up to the fact that my work had been invaded. Two rhinos stood at the entrance to the labs, their armored bulk vaguely terrifying as they stood to either side with their small eyes fixed in front of them and heavily armed. It wasn't strange to see guards around here, it was a security firm after all, but this was the first time I had seen them so heavily armored and weighed down. It made me pause as I glanced at the employee entrance and started to back away doubtfully. They weren't wearing the standard issue uniform, instead City-badges hung around their necks as one of them glanced towards me and paused. I had never seen a rhino up close, they were one of the species' that had nearly died out, but seeing these pair made me wonder how on earth they had ever stayed hidden when I had lived here my entire life. They towered at nearly nine feet tall with heads that were plated with thick pebbled skin.

"Name." One of them spoke up in a surprisingly pleasant voice if it hadn't been so cold. "ID."

"Ah...okay." I faltered and reached down, digging into my bag for the picture ID I normally carried. The other one was looking as well and I suddenly felt exposed and pinned in place.

I was somewhere in the midst of frantically emptying by bag onto a bench when a paw landed on my shoulder and I froze at the slight curl of fingers that squeezed to coax me into stopping. My eyes darted up to see Solare standing above me with his head tilted towards the pair of rhino's with a look that was almost angry. I had never seen the white maned lion as anything other than collected, but there was something vaguely disturbed as he regarded the pair of guards.

"Shallen, you're going to work up in the offices today. The labs are officially closed down for security reasons." He murmured, his voice at least pleasant and soft while I gripped my bag.

"Unauthorized." One of the guards spoke to the other and their eyes returned to watching the solarium and the rest of the employees.

"Sir?" I stuffed my things into my bag as the paw lifted from my shoulder and my boss turned away with a ruffled expression on his face. "Where's Sanmer?"

"He's been reassigned, I'm afraid both of you will be as well as a few more departments." Solare gave a shake and twitched his ears backwards. "Come along, I'm afraid you are about to be stuck with more work than you might like."

"What's going on?" I asked softly, straightening up to follow the other lion, watching how his tail twitched behind him with barely contained annoyance. "Who are they?"

"City Elite, they've taken over partial operations in light of recent...attacks." The last word was spoken with a hint of a growl. "They are reevaluating my contract with them."

We walked in silence for a while, my mind working to try and remember what the past few days had been like for work. Most days I hadn't really done much, I'd been in a daze, but things had definitely changed. There were more guards in the atrium, though none were as imposing as the rhino's. Most of them were imposing heavy animals such as horses and bulls with a few of the larger stags scattered at the outskirts, but all of them were dressed in thick armored uniforms and seemed to ignore the regular workers with what seemed to almost be contempt. It made me swallow nervously as Solare, himself, escorted me to an elevator and gave murmured instructions for a room seated on the third floor just off the main offices. I wanted to ask more, but it wasn't my place, something was wrong and it was obviously something large enough to ruffle the man.

My stomach felt sick as I recalled the video I had been shown, the fact that there were hunters in younger groups outside of the Wall meant that they would have to crack down. I'd been warned about that, I knew curfews were coming back into effect, but I hadn't realized that it was so far reaching as to have come here. My earlier good mood soured slightly as I made my way to the third floor and was greeted with the sound of voices coming from every open door and space. The dull murmur and hum made my ears twitch backwards a hair, holding my bag close to my chest as I tried to see someone I knew well enough to ask what the hell I was supposed to be doing.

"SHALL!" A yank on my tail made me yowl out as I was pulled backwards and nearly crashed face first into Sanmer. "You're late."

"Sorry." I mumbled and righted myself with a yank to pull my tail free, lashing it wildly. "What's going on?"

The fox was beaming up at me, his twin pony tails bouncing behind him happily as he tilted his head to one side seeming to consider the question with some amount of amusement. He wasn't wearing his normal lab coat, though goggles were still perched on his ears. He was wearing a loose blouse with twin suspenders on either side of his shoulders and loose black slacks that gave him a strangely professional look that I wasn't used too.

"Paper work. Loads and loads of paper work! And video! And more paper work!" The fox winked brightly up at me and gave a gesture. "I've been picking up your slack, but trust me, there is more just waiting for you!"

"Paperwork?" I felt slow and stupid, my ears twitching back while he grabbed my paw and pulled me to one of the crowded rooms.

"Solare has us going over all the logs for the past fourteen months." The fox's tail twitched in such a way that heat rolled up to my ears, a shivery little wag that brought something else to my mind entirely. "And there are videos, but I'm mostly stuck with the paperwork side of things."

The room that I was guided into was crowded with people that were in various states of sorting paper work and entering data into the computers. I knew some of them, but the rest were complete strangers as I was neatly steered into a cubicle that was set up with two desks that were seated back to back with piles of paper on each one. The sight of it made me flinch as it was stacked up right next to a computer, but Sanmer nearly pounced the chair, swirling it around in a wide circle as he rolled backwards with a bit of a thunk against the desk. He was grinning at me, the mischief dancing in his eyes as he leaned backwards and gestured towards the other chair expectantly just to see me grimace as I pulled it out and began to slip into it.

"You've missed all the fun." Sanmer's tail flicked behind him. "But, we'll have time enough to work on catching you up soon enough, for now we have more important things to deal with."

"Oh? And what's that? Filing?" I answered with a sigh as I settled in the chair and leaned backwards in it, feeling it creak a little bit beneath my weight. Why did it have to be paperwork? I had never liked any sort of job I had to remain seated instead of actually doing something.

"Oh no..." The white fox leaned forward, both his ears pricked up high on his head while his expression turned quite serious. "We have to discuss just what you were doing with Hiasaki in your bed the other night. In detail and at length. Preferably with visual aids if you've got them."

I stared at Sanmer with my jaw partially open as his own slender muzzle parted in a sly smile that was silently laughing at me, his eyes glittering brightly as I felt all the blood rushing to my face beneath my fur. I started to stammer, my jaws working as the sounds came out with no real sense much to my friend's delight, his long plush tail flicking rapidly behind him.

"Oh no, don't even think that you'll be able to escape from telling me all the juicy details, you can't simply have a male answer your phone at three in the morning and expect me NOT to want details!" Sanmer's voice was a no-nonsense tone that startled a laugh out of me, a smile spreading over my muzzle. Things would be alright, they all would... I brushed m paw up right along my chest and felt my mother's necklace tucked away, the ache bitter sweet as I began to answer Sanmer. If I couldn't talk to my best friend about my fox, who could I talk to?