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--Naki--

It snowed heavily in the days leading up to Christmas; heavily enough that I didn't quite want to drive. I did, though, since today was the day Fen and I had agreed to meet up and talk about what he'd do on Christmas day. I figured the cafe might be a nice place but decided to try the one Liza worked at this time around. After all, I didn't want to risk running into that dumb waitress again. I wore my boots due to the snow; the sounds of crunching audible above the howling wind and snowflakes hitting the ground as Fen and I tread over the sidewalk.

"So you know someone who works here?" he asked.

"Yea, met her at that party I told you I was going to."

"Ah. Guess that's better than risking our old spot again. Too bad; I really liked that place."

This one wasn't too far away from the other; close enough to be competition. We walked in but I didn't see Liza anywhere. Not that I was there to visit her-- Fen and I needed to talk. Still, if she were there it would've been nice to introduce. This cafe was more ritzy than the other; it had multiple floors and everything was made of wood, giving it a homely feel. We walked up the stairs and found a couple comfortable-looking seats in a quiet spot before settling down.

"So what has you so nervous?" I asked gently, wanting to jump right into the topic I'd been keeping to myself this last week. "I understand the graduation thing still bothers you but by now I... I hope you know I wouldn't let anything like that happen."

He sat down and rubbed over his head for a moment. "I know. I'm not saying you would. It's still..." he looked around for a moment, maybe checking to see if anyone else was in earshot. "Awkward-- I mean, they -have-. A year ago, if I hadn't known you and I somehow--"

"Don't, Fen," I said, knowing exactly where he was going to go. "Look... maybe I don't understand what it's like... in fact I know I don't. I still think it's unreasonable to feel you're in that kind of danger."

"I'm not worried that they'll do something to me. I'm worried of what they'll think of me. Sure, you changed... but have they? They didn't have a problem... y'know. How do you know they'll see me as any more than that?"

I didn't exactly have an answer. Based on how they reacted to Khole I seriously doubted that they'd see Fen any differently. Still, I didn't know how to convey that to Fen. I tried, though.

"They seem to like Khole. Plus, it's... different when you meet a for the first time micro while they're cloaked."

"Different?"

"Well, not different but... I mean, my parents met you at normal-- I mean at our height as opposed to your real height. I think that probably helps make a difference." I rubbed over my head a little. "Honestly... I kinda think it might've made a bit of a difference with me."

He stared at me for a while. I could tell he was examining the statement more deeply than I'd intended. "So you're saying if you'd have met me at my smaller height, then..."

"I'm not saying something bad would've happened. I'm saying that... it changed things. Whatever that means. I'm willing to admit I acted really horribly towards some of you... and I realize that more than ever now. And I think it's a good thing-- It's for the better-- and you had a huge part in helping me get this far."

He seemed to accept that, even giving a little smile. "I guess I get it, even if it's unfair."

"It is unfair, but it's the truth." He still seemed hesitant. "What do I have to do to convince you?"

"You know I'm coming, Naki," he said with a sigh. "You want it so badly I don't think I can avoid it."

My heart leapt at that. I felt like he'd do it if I pressed hard enough but there was always some lingering doubt. I tried to hold back the grin I wanted to wear, out of courtesy. "Really...? You have no idea how much I wanted this," I said somewhat giddily, trying hard not to seem too bouncy. My tail failed me in that regard.

"I still wish we didn't have to hide our relationship from them, though. I'll be there with you, but I get the feeling it'll feel more distant than when I'm not."

"It's the first step... we do this and then plan to tell them about our relationship down the road. They'll get to know you-- the wonderful, sweet, passionate little wolf you are and when I finally tell them they'll have no choice but to be happy."

I saw him cut his eyes at me and arch his brow which made me laugh a little. "Okay, okay, it probably won't be that smooth but it's still a step, right?"

"Yea, I guess that's true. It's still gonna be weird not being able to really show any affection at all."

"I'll make it up to you, okay?" I said. "When we're back in the dorms, we can be as gay as you'd like."

"Oh?" he asked, grinning.

"Well, almost as gay..." I corrected myself, ears turning a bit red. He huffed a little at that but thankfully seemed to decide against getting on that topic.

A chipmunk came and took our orders. This time I got a pastry to go with the coffee and while Fen ordered I thought about what it might be like this christmas with him there to celebrate with my family.

"So is it just going to be your parents, brothers, and Khole? Or are more of your family members coming?" he asked after ordering, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"People generally stop by throughout the day, really. My aunts and uncles come over and bring my cousins. We always do a big family gathering though it isn't always at my parents' house."

"And how're your cousins around us? Do you know?"

I leaned back a little, thinking. I didn't know much about what my extended family thought about Requorans in particular. I knew Ron, my cousin, kept one as a pet at some point. I also knew that, at least on my dad's side, using them as food wasn't a foreign concept. Even so, I was certain my parents wouldn't condone it this time. Khole would be there so it was out of the question even if Fen weren't coming. And we'd never done it on holidays anyway. In the end I still couldn't be certain of how they'd react. I'd have to take it as it came and if I needed to then I would have to say something. That didn't sit well with me, but the will to have my little wolf at my house to get some time to know my folks was strong enough. I'd have to swallow it and figure out what to do if the situation arose. I resolved to speak with Mom and Dad about it before Christmas.

"Naki?"

I snapped out of it again. "Uh... Well, I don't know. I don't think I've heard any of them other than Ron really talk about Requorans. Ron has a Requoran as a uh... pet," I said, scanning his face for a reaction while I spoke. "But... I think their relationship is kinda like Raelynn and Otto."

I could see he wasn't too happy to hear that by the look I got. "Things are changing, Fen... just slowly, okay? Ron and Zeqa-- Zeqa's his Requoran's name, get along pretty well. I think she's happy with him or at least things aren't bad."

"Don't worry," he said, waving a paw through the air for a moment. "I'm not gonna get on you about it-- It's just... the word, you know?"

"I know. Will you let it slide for me?"

"I won't say anything if that's what you're asking. S'long as he's really like you said."

I only smiled a little in reply before standing up and moving to sit next to where he was. I shifted my tail to lie across his and reached an arm over to pull him in close. He scooted and leaned against my side. "I'm glad you're gonna come."

"You knew I would eventually come," he responded before smiling a little and pressing more firmly into my body.

I grinned. "You say that, but I really wasn't sure."

His tail tapped at the couch and against my own for a moment before his gaze shifted and he looked straight ahead. "I'm also a bit afraid I'll be a downer, y'know? It's not gonna be the same without Mom and Dad. Plus Sy's not going to come; I have no idea what he's gonna do."

"He can come if he wants."

"He won't."

I nodded a little, feeling a bit bad. "Well, make sure you tell him he can."

He huffed gently. Or maybe it was a soft chuckle; I couldn't tell. "I went back to my house the other day."

I looked down. "You did? Your... parents' house?"

"Yea. Someone called me, said he was my Dad's boss and that Dad put him in charge of helping sell it. He said I had the paperwork he needed in that packet Dad left us."

I rubbed over his head with a paw. "I bet it was hard going back."

"It was," he responded. "We still haven't heard from them at all. I checked the mailbox and every hiding place I know of-- nothing."

"They're okay. It's just gonna be hard for them to contact for a while."

"You don't know that."

I didn't, but I didn't see the point in lingering on this either. "Did you give him the paperwork?"

"Not yet, I wanna look at it first. Might have Ian's dad take a look, too. I'm not sure what it all is but I wanna have some idea of what's going on before I just walk into the guy's office. I've only met him once or twice..."

"That's a good idea. I'll go with you, too, if you want."

"I'd like that."

We went silent again, and I just kept rubbing at him with my fingers. It was fun just relaxing there with him, honestly. We hadn't gotten a chance to as much as we did at college. "I don't think we can stay at Ian's house again for the summer. Nice as they've been, it's just... it's too weird. Nothing feels like home; I can't open the fridge without feeling like I should ask someone, we have to sleep in Ian's room so we don't have any privacy, I can't just invite you over anymore like I used to. Sy's the same way except he actually becomes irritable enough to complain at Ian. We're both frustrated and... I hate it because we really should be thanking them if nothing more."

"Well just make sure you let them know you appreciate it. Might even be worth telling them about how you feel; could help ease any built up tension."

"I've kept him from say anything to Ian's mom and dad at least. Ian'll be okay, but... maybe you're right. Might be worth taking him out one day as thanks."

I shifted to reposition myself on the couch and gave his ears a little ruffle."Take your cloaker off," I said gently, giving him a nudge. He looked up at me for a moment before sitting up and reaching to grab at it. I did and still do love how willing he is now. Once he was small, I picked him up and brought him up to my muzzle. He leaned in and gave my nose a kiss.

"Once we're back in the dorms we can do this all of the time again, right?" I asked, nosing him into my palms and pinning him in place. He grinned a little, flicking his tail off to the side.

"I'd keep it off if you'd let me, blockhead."

"Heh, I know. I rest easier knowing I can walk in and not worry, though." I planted a small lick over his face. "Miss having a giant otter carrying you around, being big and clumsy?"

"And sweet," he added.

"Is that what you're calling the games you play with my feet, now?"

I noticed him blush beneath his fur. "Keep your voice down--!" he huffed. "Better yours than someone else's."

I laughed a little. "Agreed. No one else can abuse my little wolf."

He grinned at that and I gave him a kiss to the stomach. I don't know if he realized how much I meant those words. What I had begun to realize over break, particularly after Andron's party, was that even when Fen wasn't around I couldn't deal with the things people would say let alone do to Requorans anymore. I mean, to an extent I could tolerate it but my ability to brush it off had begun to weaken.

Their struggle had begun to become my struggle. Where Fen's happiness hinged on Requorans gaining equality and recognition, mine hinged on his safety and happiness. The feeling I got when dealing with Andron; when reading about columnists or listening to talk show hosts questioning whether they should even be allowed to walk around freely, was almost the same I got when I saw Lilly's face in that video. It used to be I only cared about what happened to Fen. Now I was beginning to have trouble seeing the difference between tormenting one Requoran or another; any of them could have easily been him.

We spent the rest of the time chatting about my family, sipping at coffee and tasting the pastry I'd ordered. I told him a bit about my uncle Jerry and Orville and their families whom he would meet when he came over for Christmas. While I wasn't certain that it would all go smoothly, I did think that I would be able to turn any bad conversation we might get into around.

Snow continued to fall heavily outside and I idly wondered how easy it would be for me to get Fen home, let alone myself. Liza never showed up; I guess she was off that day. I could've called but the coffee shop proved a good place to relax even if she weren't around. We watched the snow fall, cuddled, and enjoyed conversation for a good hour or two before I had to go back. We were setting the tree up that day and I'd promised I'd be home to help Dad.

When I did finally make it back to my house, I inwardly made a point to talk to Dad a bit about what to expect on Christmas day. I didn't want to reveal how much I cared for Fen, but I did want to make certain nothing would go wrong-- or try.

Dad had already gotten the tree off of his van by the time I'd gotten home. It wasn't as large as we'd had in previous years but it was still sizeable.

"Just in time, Naki. Come get the other end of this," he said. I walked over, putting gloves over my paws to avoid having the prickly portions of the tree sticking my hands. Soon enough it was lifted and we were pulling it into the house.

"Nathan didn't come help you?"

"He was upstairs playing his game with Khole. Normally I'd just tug his ear and make'em come down buuuut-- y'know, he seems to really like that friend of yours. Haven't seen him in a mood like that in a long while. Decided to leave him alone for now; figured I could handle the tree."

"He's been up there with Khole all day or something?" I asked as we entered the living room and shifted the tree vertical to begin settling it into the base.

"Far as I know."

We switched positions and I got on my knees to finish settling the tree into the base before screwing the holds in and stabilizing it. I stood up and we admired our work for a moment. The tree still needed to be decorated but we normally did that with everyone here, and Mom wasn't around yet.

"So I wanted to talk to you a bit about Christmas," I said suddenly. He glanced at me for a moment.

"What's on your mind?"

"Well, it's about Fen coming."

"You really like him, huh? You've been itching to have him come over."

Admittedly my heart jumped slightly at that. "Well, yea, h-he's a good friend," I said, recovering. "He's bunked up at another friend's place for the season and his family won't be here for Christmas. I kinda figured if he celebrated with us we could make up for it a little or something."

"You think spending time with us is gonna make him feel better about his family?" The tone of his voice made it obvious he didn't think so. "I guess you get that from your Mom. I don't care if he comes, though. What was your question?"

At first I wanted to ask why he laughed at the idea, but I reminded myself that my relationship to Fen wasn't exactly out in the open to my parents. "I wanted to make sure that no one was gonna... y'know, bring anything that might make him or even Khole uncomfortable. Did you and Mom say anything to them?"

"I didn't. Ask your Mom. I'm sure she said something since Khole was gonna be here anyway. Don't think that means Zeqa won't be coming, though."

"I'm not worried about Zeqa." Fen had dealt with that situation before. I knew he didn't like it but I also knew that he could handle it as long as Zeqa was amiable to the situation, which I remembered her being.

"I wouldn't worry too much, then."

"You sure? Uncle Jerry'll be here after all."

"Heh, yea that is true." He grinned. "I'll have a chat with him. You know he can't keep his mouth shut but maybe he'll avoid the topic for you. Then again, maybe mentioning it to'em will make him wanna talk about it -more-. Never know with Jerry."

"Yea," I muttered a little. "Well, thanks. I just wanna make sure it goes kinda smoothly. So how's the job hunt?"

He shrugged again, moving to settle on the couch. I followed suit.

"Had a couple interviews the other day. Both of them seemed to go well enough-- I can only wait to see if I get a call back. Things're stable for now, though. Only thing we gotta figure out is how we're paying for you next semester."

That struck me a bit harder than it probably should've. After all, as I'd thought about before, I could've put more effort into finding scholarships or something but I hadn't up to that point. I guess the silence tipped him off because he rubbed my shoulder.

"Not something you should worry about, though. You get good grades and we'll figure out where the money comes from, yea?"

"Yea," I said weakly, inwardly promising that I'd focus more on getting extra funding this summer. Without Fen's parents around to pay me I'd have to find another way to put money in my pocket and help my parents out somehow. "Where's Mom at?"

"She and Reggie went to get stuff to cook up for Christmas. Everyone kicked in a bit of money so we'd be able to get everything beforehand." He frowned a little all of a sudden. "I got a bunch of shopping to finish up, too."

Since the topic had been brought up, I remembered that I hadn't gotten anyone a present yet. That meant a trip to the store, though I worried I wouldn't have enough cash to get something decent for everyone. We sat around and talked a bit about school and laughed about Orville, my mom's brother, who wouldn't stop making fun of a fox-neighbor of his last Christmas. Funny as it was, I couldn't help but wonder if he was a bit specist and perhaps another person I should worry about this coming holiday.

--

I didn't manage to get out to go shopping until a couple days later; two days before Christmas. Khole came with me to help since I had no idea what I was going to get Fen. The rest of my family wasn't too hard-- except Dad. I could get Nathan some sort of old game and Reggie had a thing for yo-yos. Mom loved holiday cookies; the more decorative the better. I didn't have the money to have them made but the premade sets weren't too pricey and still pretty good, so I figured I'd get her that.

"Not going to get anything for your parents?" I asked as we walked through the mall. Red, green, silver, and white decorations lined the place and every shop was done up with reefs and trees or snowmen. In the middle of the building was an enormous plaza, the center of which was taken up by a polar bear in Santa Claus garb sitting on a throne and asking younger children what they wanted for Christmas.

"I don't really have any money," Khole responded. "At least, not enough to send anything back to them."

"Oh... uh...," I stammered.

"Plus they're pretty hard to shop for. Maybe whenever I go back I'll figure something out."

I gave a nod as we arrived at one of the storefronts I was looking for. It had all kinds of movie and video game paraphernalia that I was certain Fen would enjoy. If I could find something for him anywhere it'd be here.

"So what did you and your family do for the holidays before you moved here?"

He kept up with me though his head was turned to gaze at a few items the store had for sale. "My adopted family or my real family?"

"Uh... both, I guess."

"My real parents didn't celebrate Christmas. Christmas is mostly a Neotrian thing."

"Really?"

"Mhm."

"Well, do Requorans have something else?"

"Depends on what you believed in, I guess. We have holidays, but which one you celebrated was mostly based on which religious group you were part of. It's still kinda the same way now, though the religious groups are harder to tell apart. My family didn't specifically celebrate anything, but my parents were a bit weird; not typical for Kupai."

"How so?"

He looked at me for a moment, seeming to mull over his answer before he shifted his head back to look at one of the nearby shelves. "One of the easier ways to 'make it' in Kupai was to find a job working for one of the families that were in power. These were life jobs. You lived and died for them... but you lived well. Food, housing, everything a Requoran could need were normally provided. Your kids got an education even if you didn't spend much time with them and were normally expected to also end up working once they were old enough. My parents did just that."

It took a moment but eventually I realized what he was saying. "So they left you alone?"

"Yes and no-- not that they could really help it. They were there enough to teach me a few things. And it's because of them that I received an education and lived better than the average Kupan. I guess you could say that our lack of time together was the price paid for comfort and a shot at something more."

"Seems like a pretty steep price," I muttered. "How much did you get to see them?"

He chuckled a little. "Why even care? It's in the past. Its already happened."

I stopped at the back of the store where stuff from True Lives and This Little House were on sale. I had no idea what I was going to get Fen, but thought maybe I'd get some inspiration back here.

"Because it's interesting. I mean... you basically grew up in some parallel world, right? Kupai is nothing like here, is it?"

"Not... nothing like it. But yea, I guess that's right. It was very different," he responded.

"And it's not wrong to be curious about a friend's past, is it?"

He shook his head and reached to pick up a small imitation ring labelled 'cloaker' that was apparently used by one of the protagonists in 'This Little House'. "Once a week if I got lucky, usually less. They left money to buy food and paid for the house." He stared at it for a while, seeming to focus his eyes on the text of the clear box. "They taught me how to fend for myself."

"They don't sound like bad people, at least. Just a bad situation, maybe?"

"That depends, I guess. In a way, you might be right. They made decisions they thought were best at the time. They chose what they felt was most important."

I gave a nod. "Are you mad at them?"

"It's in the past now. Being mad at them wouldn't change anything anyway."

"Yea, but if you're anything like Fen then it doesn't matter whether it'd change anything or not. You'd still be mad."

That got him to chuckle, at least for a moment. "What happened to me... I can't do much about," he said gently, though I caught a hint of sadness. "I moved on; any sensible person would've. Look, Naki..." he stopped for a second. "You know I'd talk to you about anything but... this topic, I'd rather not. Not now, at least. Being here and spending time with you and your family has been a blast and I don't want to sully it with old, sad stories."

I lowered my tail a little and gave a nod. "Sorry, I didn't mean to pry. You just talk about them and your past so little that--"

"I know. I promise I'll tell you one day. Just not today. If you feel bad for me, don't. Things are much better now than they were before; that's what counts." He looked down at the box again. "These are the TV shows Fen and Sian watch, aren't they? I saw a few episodes of 'This Little House,'" he said, staring down into the box for a moment longer before up at me again.

"Yea, I don't know if he actually wants any of it, though. I guess I could try picking up a box set or something."

"Maybe," he said gently. "You could also try this show. It's kinda new." He put the box away and grabbed another, holding it up to me. The title is in a language I don't know but the cover features a wolf and a husky.

"Who's Alexander?" I asked, staring at the two characters whose names appeared beneath them on the cover.

"One of the main characters. The name of the giant protagonist in this show is Alexander; he's a wolf. The smaller protagonist's name is Nathaniel; he's a husky. It's a foreign TV show but still involves size difference. I mean, considering you guys' relationship it might be kinda interesting to him, right?"

"That's not a bad idea," I said and looked back down at the box art for the show. If it's a good show maybe I could watch it with him. I decided to go with Khole's idea so I took it and checked out at the front. I thought maybe I'd give it a watch beforehand to be certain it was something Fen'd enjoy.

I picked up gifts for my brothers and Mom but was unable to figure something out for my dad that time around. I'd have to go back out but getting most of my shopping done was good; I even managed to scoop something up for Khole without him noticing-- I think.

We walked back out towards my car so I could drive home and get these gifts wrapped.

The house smelled delicious by the time we'd gotten back; fish, ham, stuffing, and an amalgamation of all sorts of other scents.

"Naki?" I heard my mom call.

"Yea, we're back," I said, stuffing the bags into a small storage closet beneath the stairway.

"Good! Just in time to decorate the tree. I just got Nathan down here to start setting up."

It'd been a family tradition to decorate the tree together. When we were kids we loved doing it; the last year or two have seen less excitement from Nathan and, I admit, myself. I kinda wanted to go upstairs and flop in front of our TV and I know Nathan would probably prefer to be on his computer. Still, Mom loved doing it so I'd been biting my tongue.

"You wanna help me untangle the lights and wrap them around the tree, Khole?" Mom asked.

"Sure! I'd love to." He walked off with her and I went to pull the box full of ornaments aside with Nathan and Reggie.

"Why do we have so many?" Nathan moaned. "Seems like this box gets more full every year..."

"Heh, let's just do it," I replied. "It doesn't take -that- long."

"I wanna do the star!" Reggie squeaked happily, tugging it out of the bottom of the box and nearly sending a few ornaments to the floor.

"Careful, Reggie; calm down," Dad spoke as he worked on getting the outdoors decorations organized. It was nice being home with my family even if it came with more stress than I'd originally thought it might. I'd missed them over the semester and the excitement over Christmas was only making me remember my younger years. The only thing that could make this better is if Fen could be here and our relationship not hidden. I hoped that day would come soon. This would be a good first step, though. Fen would come over for Christmas and he'd get to meet my family. Although I knew there'd be some challenges to making it work out smoothly, I felt optimistic about my ability to make this the first step towards coming out and revealing our relationship. If they got a better impression of Fen, and Fen a better impression of them, then during the summer it would be easy to have him over and reconcile some of the damage that that dinner had done. I had it all worked out in my head... but of course, plans never pan out the way you want them to.