Frostpaw - Chapter 8: Failure

Story by Rukj on SoFurry

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#8 of Frostpaw

Hi! This is the eighth chapter of "Frostpaw". Zèon feels that things are starting to change in an imperceptible way in the Box, and he knows that it's time to take action. However, before that, there's something he must do...

To be honest, I'm particularly frustrated with the translation of this chapter. I don't know if it's just me or if it's really not as well translated as it could be. And I haven't had it proofed yet either, so please, tell me if you read something wrong. Each mistake you tell me about is a mistake I won't (likely) make again. I really, really want to get better at this and it won't be possible without your help and feedback.

That said, I hope you enjoy the chapter. Thanks for reading!


Days went by quickly.

Over time, Zèon managed to ignore the intense guilt that assaulted him when he looked Ike in the eye and lied to him saying that he loved him. It became for him almost a natural, involuntary act; he stated it automatically, sometimes so much that he feared the lion noticed that he didn't really feel what he said.

However, Ike did never doubt about him or, if he did, he never showed it. He only smiled, pleased, and licked his forehead or hugged him close, whispering in his ear how important he was for him. Zèon let him pamper him, touched by the affection the lion treated him with, but unable to give anything back more than the empty words of his lie. Silently, he wished he could have loved him. He knew that Ike deserved it, that he should find someone who loved him back as intensely as he loved the arctic fox. Zèon, unfortunately, wasn't the right person and he knew it.

Usually, Ike joined him in his bedroom and they spent the day together, sitting or lying on some bed, talking or simply enjoying mutual company. Zèon was always careful to close the door and not to let anyone saw them, since he still remembered Shiba's warning. On the other hand, he thought that he was hurting Ike enough in order to also put his right to the fehlar throne into question. The last thing he wanted was to cause more problems than necessary for him.

However, in spite of all his precautions, it was inevitable that some people noticed it. Once, Vent went into the bedroom without notice and caught them in the middle of a passionate kiss. That didn't only make him let out a surprised yell, but also made him feel so embarrassed that he couldn't talk to them for a few days, although Ike played it down. As for Shiba, she quickly noticed because of her closeness to Ike... and the fact that she could read his expressions as Zèon could read Luca's. She didn't say anything, but the arctic fox could feel her suspicious looks whenever he came across her in the Box.

Maybe the less remarkable reaction was Luca's. He just watched, understood what was happening and resumed his life. Zèon was unsure whether the wolf knew that his feelings for Ike were false or believed that he was really in love with him. The only thing he could perceive was the impatient gleam in his eyes that seemed to ask him to tell the lion everything they had found out as soon as possible. Zèon only knew that the wolf wanted to stay awake for a night and go out investigating the Box, when the guards weren't watching, because he had guessed it during one of the meals, when they had exchanged some meaningful looks. Three pairs of eyes could see more than one, and the arctic fox hoped that once they told him what they had discovered, Ike would join their improvised nightly expedition.

However, as days passed by Zèon couldn't find the moment to tell him. Every day, every hour he thought he could feel Sophia's cold look on the back of his head, piercing through him. Two weeks went by and the impatient gleam in Luca's eyes grew brighter until it almost extinguished its reddish color.

One morning, the wolf gave Zèon a meaningful look. <<Today>> he seemed to say <<. If you don't tell him about it today, we'll go without him>>.

Zèon decided that the moment to pull himself together and trust in his good luck had finally come. Maybe that day Sophia had more important things to do than thinking about the relationship that both had started more than two weeks ago.

-They're disappearing. Well, they're still there, but they are getting less visible.

The lion's paw moved slowly over his back, following the trace of the scars that the whip had left in the fox's skin. Zèon knew that his back had firstly been raw, but little by little the wounds had been closing and, although they still hurt sometimes, his suffering had been reduced greatly.

-They will soon be gone -the arctic fox reassured him, gently -. The first time it was the same.

-You had been flogged before? I can't remember -Ike murmured, perplexed.

-It was soon after we arrived here. I fought with a fehlar. He said something mean to Koi.

The lion nodded, giving him a wide smile. His paws caressed affectionately the arctic fox's bare back, whose calmed paused breathing showed that he was deeply relaxed.

-That husky... he's very important to you, right? -he asked, after a while.

-Yes -Zèon answered, in a whisper. Then, he added -. I thought it was obvious.

-Oh... well. It is -Ike admitted -. It's just that I... I've always been curious to know why.

For a few seconds, there wasn't an answer.

-I knew him before we came here. At that time, I still lived with my parents -the fox remembered, his voice filled with nostalgia -. We went to the ceremony in which he was given his name. He was so young then... He was just a few months.

Ike waited for a few seconds for Zèon to keep talking and, not hearing anything else, he asked without hiding his surprise:

-And that's all?

The arctic fox shrugged, or would have done so if he had been in a better position.

-What else should it be? I remembered him... from my previous life. There's not much I keep from those days -he reminded him, with a sad tone.

-I know. I'm sorry, Zèon.

The fox suppressed a whisper. He was starting to think that Ike apologized too often.

-It's not your fault and you know it -he made a pause -. It's only that... when I saw Koi here... I felt the need to protect him from any threat this place could suppose for him. I lost my childhood due to the war. I can't let him lose his too -he concluded, with a thin voice.

Ike didn't say anything. He could feel the intense pain in the arctic fox's words and couldn't help but feel a bit responsible. For that reason, he changed to another subject:

-And what about Luca? Did you also know him from before? -When Zèon nodded, he added -. I can see that you really understand each other. You almost seem like brothers.

Zèon smiled. What Ike had just said could be easily showed with the fact that he had never had to explain so many things to Luca. The wolf would just give him a look and understand the reasons why he did what he did; or, if he didn't comprehended them, he would just trust him. However, that wasn't enough for Ike and Zèon knew it.

-He spends much time lately with Koi -the lion said, after a few seconds -. I guess he is important for him as well.

Zèon nearly smiled, but didn't say anything. Luca also appreciated and loved Koi, but the arctic fox knew that it was mostly because he knew that the husky was important for him. However, he didn't want to contradict Ike's ideas and didn't reply. After a while, he felt that the lion had lain down beside him and repressed a whisper.

He knew that the moment to risk everything on a single card was getting closer. If he lost the game, he would never have the chance to play again.

-You're not very talkative today -Ike whispered, hugging him by his waist.

-Have I ever been? -Zèon asked, tilting his head.

-You know what I mean. It's not like you carry the conversation, but today you are struggling to even answer me. Is there something wrong?

Zèon could have given him millions of answers. He could have told him the truth: that he felt wrong because he had to lie to him, to betray his trust, only so he had a negligible chance to give him a message. He could have told him that he was nervous because, in a way he still didn't fully understand, he could feel that things in the Box were about to change dramatically. But he simply closed his eyes and, after a few seconds, lied to him again:

-No. I'm only tired.

Ike attracted him a bit closer to him. Zèon felt his warm breath on his ears, the soft touch of his golden fur.

-Maybe you are forcing yourself to do too much -he whispered in his ear -. I think that after everything you are going through... everything you went through... you deserve a long rest.

Zèon didn't answer. He just turned to the lion and their muzzles touched, although they didn't kiss. They just looked each other in the eye for a few long minutes; diving in their eyes, losing themselves in their own reflection. Ike watched Zèon with the passion that made him feel so uncomfortable sometimes: such an intense feeling that he wouldn't have been able to give it back, even in love. Now he was conscious that what had started as simple fascination for Ike had turned into something more, something that completely terrified Zèon and made him feel terribly miserable.

However, there was no turning back. It had never been.

Ike was still lost in the arctic fox's gaze when he talked, and maybe because of that, he barely could pay attention to the words he said, in a low whisper:

-Food makes us sleep. Incursion tonight.

It was only a soft murmur, words barely audible that, however, resounded in the room like a sentence. Zèon would have liked them to just vanish in the air, but his anguish seemed to keep them there for a little longer, hanging from his lips. <<There's no way Sophia could hear this>> the fox thought, trying to reassure himself <<. It's simply impossible>>. Then, he fixed his gaze in Ike's deep green eyes, which seemed to have just woken up. Zèon's heart was beating strongly, waiting for his reaction.

After a while, the lion shook his head and gave him a disoriented smile:

-...pardon? I'm sorry, I wasn't listening.

Those words poured cold water on Zèon.

<<I can't believe it>> he told himself, becoming pale <<. I can't believe it!>> Ike hadn't understood his words. He probably hadn't even listened to them. Something similar to a silent hatred crept in Zèon's heart towards that aspiring prince and his stupidity, that lion who hadn't been able to understand such a vital information.

However, after a few seconds he managed to calm himself. After all, it wasn't Ike's fault; those sudden words would have taken anyone by surprise... and, on the other hand, it was obvious that when he had talked, the lion was paying attention to other things. <<If he only was less focused on me...>> the arctic fox found himself thinking. That way, the lion could have understood his message.

A heavy despair filled Zèon's heart.

-Is there something wrong? -Ike asked again, a bit worried -. What happens?

-Oh, it's... nothing -Zèon murmured, shaking his head and trying to conceal his disappointment. He feared that if he repeated those words, Sophia could somehow guess what Luca and he wanted to do that night -. I was just remembering something -he lied.

Ike's face filled with compassion and attracted him closer again, licking his forehead tenderly. Zèon allowed him to do that, but he separated from him gently as soon as he could.

-I'm sorry -he said, trying desperately to find an excuse. He knew that his voice didn't sound believable at all at the moment, but he didn't care -. I have to... find Luca and tell him something I forgot.

Ike gave him a puzzled look. He clearly didn't understand that reaction.

-Are you sure you're alright? -he asked again, worried.

-Yes -the fox reassured him, standing up and heading to the door -. Don't worry. I'll be right back.

It was painfully clear that, after that brief confusion, the lion wouldn't join them in that night's expedition. <<Then, why have I done all this?>> Zèon asked himself, closing the bedroom's door behind him. A great guilt weighed over him and the arctic fox wasn't sure if he would be able to bear it. He had played with Ike's feelings from the beginning, indeed, but he had expected the lion would understand what he wanted to tell him when the time was right. He had thought it would be worthwhile. But experience had demonstrated him that not everything was so easy and that he had made a terrible mistake.

He had broken the lion's heart in exchange for nothing.

<<What is done, is done>> he told himself, trying to push those thoughts away from his mind. He would have time to solve his relationship with Ike later.

Now, he had to focus on that night's expedition.

The playroom was as full of kane and fehlar as always. Zèon walked among the little groups of people, trying to find Luca, but it was in vain. He spotted Koi far from there, playing with his friends in the children's area near the Ferris wheel. He was about to smile, noticing that the husky seemed happy. However, after a few seconds, he shook his head and focused on his search again, regaining his seriousness.

-Hey, Zèon! -he listened then, not far from where he was.

The arctic fox turned, startled, towards the voice he had just heard. He found Vent's gaze, who remained in one of the little open sport areas inside the room. The young human had rolled up the sleeves of the Box's grey uniform and held an orange ball with both hands, smiling widely. With him, there were two kane that Zèon only knew by sight.

Until then he wouldn't have imagined it, but he was pleasantly surprised to find out that Vent had made some friends at that place. For some days he had been afraid that the human had to roam the Box all alone... or something worse.

-Oh, hello Vent -he greeted him, still a bit surprised.

The boy smiled.

-We're playing basketball. Do you want to join us?

-Basket... ball? -Zèon repeated, without understanding. That was the first time he heard that word -. Whatever, I'm only looking for Luca.

-It's played by throwing this ball into that hoop there -the human insisted, ignoring his words and pointing to the other side of the area -. I think that some of you already played this here, although surprisingly you didn't know how it was called.

-How could we know it? -Zèon replied, perplexed -. We don't know anything of your culture. In fact, we don't even know how you humans appeared in Lykans.

So far, the arctic fox hadn't compelled the human by asking him about his precedence or his race. However, he was starting to feel an increasing desire to interrogate him methodically in order to get the answers he needed. He knew that it wasn't very polite but, after all, the circumstances that had gathered them in that place weren't precisely usual either.

A question that had always attracted powerfully his attention had to do with the humans' origin. Were they also from Lykans or from any other place? Where was that prison located, since it hadn't been found by kane or fehlar? Was it even in the same world... or in another theoretical place that humans could belong to?

The arctic fox shook his head, annoyed. It wasn't the best moment to think about that. However, Vent seemed to understand what was going through his mind, since he added immediately after:

-Oh. I'm sorry.

-Why? -Zèon asked, without understanding.

-I should have noticed before that I had to tell you something about the place I come from. You haven't asked me yet but... I know you want me to tell you about my race, right?

-That's not all -Zèon sighed -. I'd like to know most of all about the place you live-you lived -he corrected himself in the last moment.

Vent gave him a wide nostalgic smile that lit his face for a few seconds. Then, he pointed to the corner where Zèon usually sat to think, and both of them moved towards that place, willing to find an empty seat. The arctic fox tried to hide his impatience, but it was getting increasingly difficult for him not to bombard the young human with questions. Silently, he thanked him for bringing up the subject.

-It's called Earth -Vent began with a thin voice once they had managed to sit.

-Earth? -Zèon repeated, blinking a few times -. I think that's not a very descriptive name. I find it a bit vague. Maybe it is mainly formed by... earth? -he asked, remembering his Alchemy lessons, in which the four elements always played an important role.

-Oh, no! -Vent exclaimed, smiling -. In fact, the greatest portion of its surface is filled with water.

-I see -Zèon murmured, thoughtful.

The name was still horrible, but that definitely confirmed his suspicions that the humans weren't a species native to Lykans, but they had come from another place.

There was only one continent in Lykans that Zèon knew (he remembered it when from the days he had studied Cartography), surrounded by many smaller islands that spread throughout the Great Sea in all its extension. The water reached the limits of their world, towards the furthest point they knew in Lykans, the furthest that anyone had dared to explore. The kane believed that, beyond that point, the water evaporated and ascended to the skies, carrying with it the ships of the sailors reckless enough to keep sailing on those waters.

That opened more question than what it closed. Lykans and Vent's Earth were the same world, separated by that sea of eternal steam? Or maybe they were two different worlds and humans, who knew how had created technology that the kane and the fehlar hadn't been able to understand, could jump from one to the other without difficulty? If that was true, how many worlds existed? How many worlds did the humans know?

Zèon started to feel a bit dizzy, so he decided to stop thinking about that and try looking for more answers.

-Are you the only race in your planet? -he asked. After all, the kane and the fehlar lived together in Lykans, with many other minor species.

-No. In fact, there are also many animals, like you. But they are... a lot less intelligent, I guess -the human added rashly -. They are guided by their biological urges and we believe that they lack rational capacities. Oh, and they walk on all fours.

-Then they are definitely not "like us" -Zèon replied, a bit annoyed by being compared with creatures that "lacked rational capacity".

-But they are really similar in some aspects -Vent insisted -. In the place I come from there are also arctic foxes, like you. And wolfs, like Luca. But they are... just animals.

-But we are not animals, Vent. We are kane and fehlar -Zèon reminded him, becoming increasingly uncomfortable.

-Are there any animals in your world?

-Of course, but they aren't "like us" -the arctic fox repeated, patiently.

-Oh, I understand. They're probably birds or reptiles, I guess -the human murmured, thoughtful.

Zèon didn't answer. The answer to that last question hadn't been exactly the one he wanted to hear. However, now he could understand Vent's reaction the first time he had seen them: the fear that all the residents of the Box had caused him. He had always felt strangely fascinated by birds, when young... but he was sure that if one had suddenly become his size and talked to him, he would have been frightened too.

-It's curious -Vent then muttered.

-Curious? What?

The human looked away and his face darkened. Something in his expression made a chill run down Zèon's spine.

-Zèon... do you keep any memory of your family?

-Of course -the arctic fox answered, as the image of his parents appeared quickly in his mind... and suddenly disappeared when he finally understood what that question implied -. Wait. You don't? -he asked, horrified.

It took Vent a few seconds to answer. When he did it, his voice sounded unsure and weaker than ever.

-I know they're there, somewhere in my mind -he whispered -, but I'm simply unable to remember their faces, or their names, or a single event attached to them. I remember coming home back from school and knowing that someone was waiting for me. I just can't remember who.

Zèon looked at him with his eyes wide open and an expression of true horror in his face.

-B-but... -he began, too shocked to even put together a full sentence -. That's horrible! I had never been told of anyone who... who...

His voice faded before he could finish that sentence, unable to continue. If someone had done anything similar to him, he would have lost his mind. Losing his name had already been too painful, so he couldn't imagine how hard it had to be to forget every single detail related to his family.

<<Damn Sophia>> he thought, as the hatred he felt towards that woman filled his heart. Now he was even more willing to get to the bottom of the mystery that surrounded that prison, so the memories of everyone weren't lost in vain. He would find out what was the reason they had been locked in there... and then, he would ask the culprit why he had believed that the pain he had caused them was worthwhile.

-Well, I guess I'll recover my memories someday -Vent said with a sight, and seemed really convinced when he added -. After all, you and Ike are still looking for a way out of here, aren't you?

That reminded the arctic fox of the reason why he had initially gone to the playroom. <<Yes, we're looking for a way out, although I'm starting to think we don't understand each other very well>> he told himself, remembering his previous failure with Ike in the bedroom.

-Who knows -he answered, in the end.

-Oh, look. Luca is there. Weren't you looking for him?

The human pointed to the other side of the room. Luca was among some other kane a bit younger than him, playing a ball game that was typical in their region. Zèon would have smiled at the sight of him so focused in that game, but the dark shadow of Vent's tragedy was still present in his heart.

-Yes. Thank you, Vent -he said, standing up.

-Would you mind if I went with you? -the young human asked, after a while -. I want to know if Luca would shoot some hoops with us -he added, smiling at him.

Zèon nodded, but didn't say anything. Silently, they started going towards the grey wolf, who saw them come and smiled at him, waving one of his paws.

The arctic fox was about to do the same, but then he put one of his footpaws on something hard and let out a whimper, moving aside and looking down with irritation, in search for what had hurt him. His expression softened a bit when he found the cause.

-Watch where you walk, Zèon -Adam said a bit angrily to him. He was hunched over his little plastic symbols, moving them from one place to another as he whispered unintelligible words.

-Oh... I'm sorry, Adam -he apologized, and was about to keep walking when he discovered that Vent was watching him, curiously.

-What's happened to him? -he asked, in a thin voice.

Zèon gave him a sharp look, indicating him to shut up and stop asking things like that in front of Adam. Fortunately, Adam didn't seem to hear his words.

-Nothing good -he said finally, in the same tone Vent used.

-And what is he doing with those numbers?

Zèon blinked several times, without understanding.

-You said... numbers?

-Of course. These are num... oh, sorry, I did it again -Vent sighed, scratching the back of his head and looking at him apologetically -. I guess that the kane and the fehlar also have a way to count things, don't you?

-Of course -Zèon murmured, remembering those distant days in which his Arithmetics master had taught him how to use the fehlar numeration; a feline invent that, however, had constantly been used by both races -. Are you telling me that those symbols there... -he asked, pointing to the floor -... are your numbers?

-Yes they are -the young human smiled. He seemed to feel a bit proud to be able to answer some questions, especially if they had to do with the place he came from -. Those symbols belong to our numeration system.

Zèon gave them a new look, interested. That would explain why those symbols were there, but it still didn't clarify why they kept Adam so interested and why he was always placing them in different orders again and again.

-You're wrong -they heard an angry voice.

None of them had noticed that the fox was looking up at them and had listened part of their conversation, frowning and with his ears perked up.

-...pardon? -Vent asked, a bit confused.

-These aren't numbers. Numbers are empty, this isn't. This is what fills everything, don't you understand? -the fox explained, getting increasingly angry.

-Er... but... in the place I come from...

-That doesn't matter! It's the same everywhere. They're always there! -the fox almost shouted, grabbing one of the human's legs, startling him -. Always, always, always!

-Don't worry, Adam. We're leaving now -Zèon tried to calm him -. I'll keep thinking what these symbols can be, okay? I promise.

The fox fixed his eyes in Zèon for some seconds that seemed eternal. At that moment, it was almost like if two different realities had come across. Zèon could see absolute desperation in Adam's gaze, an irrational fear behind his pupils that made him act like that. What the other fox saw in his gaze would forever be a mystery for Zèon.

What could have leaded the Adam he had known to become something like that? What could it have to do with numbers?

Finally, Adam's paw let go of Vent's leg and the boy sighed, relieved. Both the human and the kane walked away from the fox that remained in the floor, still whispering things none of them could understand, mixing together those symbols that meant so much for him.

-I'm sorry -Vent murmured once they had walked a few meters -. I didn't know he would react like that.

-It's alright -Zèon reassured him.

In fact, that little incident gave him some clues to discover what had made the fox lose his mind in such a sudden way, but at the moment he couldn't allow himself to think about that. There were other worries in his mind.

He had tried to convince Ike to join them and had failed, but the plan was set.

That night, he and Luca would go out of their bedrooms and explore the Box. And for the first time, it would be at dark... when everyone was sleeping.