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Drake leaves the room and heads towards the bedroom. The door snaps in. I open my old laptop and boot it up. I really wonder if anyone answered me. Well... surely some answered... Asking tons of questions I can not answer.

I start the email software... it starts downloading a few mails... spam... ads... my dad... more spam... both of my employers, my landlord... an information about changes in the EULA from eBay... and two of my friends... The spam and ads automatically land in the trash folder.

Worst things first... my landlord... a bill for the broken window, cleaning the apartment, painting the walls and a few months of rent. I laugh silently...

My first employer... are sad to hear about the loss of an employee and wish me best luck for my future, confirmation of my dismissal. Had expected worse. Actually even wonder that they don't complain about any deadlines or anything.

The other employer, from the supermarket. Angry at me for not coming to work for 2 days, asking me what happened, when I will be back. That guy never was very bright...

Well... could have been worse... but now it will get more difficult... my friends...

Kay, a friend from my apprenticeship... worrying about me, will miss me, hopes we will meet again, wishes me the best of luck. I click the reply button.

Hey Kay.

I'm sorry, but I can't tell you many details. I wish I could have said good-bye, but I had no choice. No... that's not true... I had a choice, and I don't regret it, but I had no time to think about it. Thanks for worrying about me. It means more to me than you might think.

I know I always seemed to distance myself from emotions, but I actually just hid them. I was scared of my nature. I was scared to accept it. But now I have truly accepted it, and it feels so much better not to worry about it anymore.

I finally found my partner. He is a funny guy, strong but gentle. A little impatient, but I really love his sense of humor. He helped to overcome the pain of losing my old life in no-time. I wish I could introduce the two of you... If you knew my circumstances, you'd understand why I can't tell you more.

Yours truly, Chris

I had a lot of fun with him... He was always so positive, so optimistic. Almost overly optimistic.

Now the other mail... another friend of mine. I met him in the 7thgrade when our classes went together on a class trip. A handicapped guy, half of his body partially paralyzed. A teacher asked me to keep company with him so he's not completely alone. I didn't mind... I had only two friends, and they were already sitting together, no space left for me. And it was a welcome change from having a teacher sit down next to you as it usually happened.

So I went over to his seat in the bus. "Hi" I said. He looked up from his comic book. He looked bored and lonely... much happened since then. We were best friends I think, until I moved out from my mom's apartment... I lost contact to him more and more... In his mail he asked me what happened, if we will see each other again...

Hi Olli.

Sorry, can't tell you about my circumstances, but you would probably not believe me anyways. Sorry, I lost contact to you, and for not saying good-bye in a proper way. My old life lies behind me, and as I already wrote, I am not able to return.

I finally found my perfect match and had to decide in very short time.

Chris

My hands shake even as I write these few lines. I feel sorry for not writing him at least as much as I wrote Kay, but it got harder and harder for me not to cry... It hurt a bit that just two of my friends seemed to care about me, but it hurt way harder not to be able to tell what happened to those who do care.

One last mail... My dad...

I'm sorry I was such a shitty father to you. We both know your mom played a part in that, but I could have done better. No, I don't think you took drugs. I know you are strong enough. I am certain you would tell me what happened if you could, but you will have your reasons, so I won't ask about it. I took some days off after your mail. I know we had not much contact to each other, but knowing that I will never see you again hit me hard. But you should know, I am still your dad, no matter what happens. If you have anything you want to talk about, you can tell me. What about your jobs and your apartment? How did they react?

Oh, by the way. I relayed your message to your mom. She thought I was making jokes. Hasn't lost a word over it yet, but I think it hit her hard, too. I know you hated her, and she was quite a bitch to you, but she still loved you, in her own strange ways.

Also told your other relatives. Your aunt hopes you are happy with your 'new life', the others were quite sad.

Well, you will answer me if and when you want to, so have fun.

Your dad

Hm... actually... I expected him to surprise me, but what he told me in this mail... It's all as I thought...

Hi dad,

Thanks for understanding my situation, and for trusting me. I know it must be hard to 'lose' your son, even though I am still alive, and even happier than before. To answer your questions about my apartment and jobs... well... they were not exactly pleased. Got a bill from my landlord. The boss from the supermarket was pissed cause I didn't tell him I'd leave and the other job just sent me some standard letter. Could you pay the bill? You can sell my PC, should still be a few hundred... hard drives are gone... too much stuff I want to be left secret. There should enough on my bank account to pay the rest.

And about the rest of the family... I closed the chapter 'Mom' when I moved out. Just mentioned her as you would have told her anyways. Tell the others that they don't need to be sad. I am truly happy here. Happy enough to tell you the one truth that I have been hiding all the time.

I don't know if you remember it, but when I was like 10 years old, you said you'd always be my dad, no matter if I start drinking, doing drugs... or become homosexual... well... I am.

My friend really loves me, and I feel the same for him. It was love on first sight. I gave him some trouble at first because... I was still a bit scared. I thought I had accepted being gay... But now I have. I'm sure you don't want to have too detailed information on this one, but we camped at a beautiful lake last night and did all kinds of things a pair of lovers does.

I do miss my friends and at least part of my family, but as I wrote in the first mail, I can't ever come back. It has nothing to do with my sexuality... just with some rules and... changes.

I'll try to keep the contact with you, but you know that I'll probably forget about it, so don't mind mailing me. I think I will still check my mails every now and then. Just make me remember my old life every now and then, okay?

Loving you, Your son, Chris

I feel sad yet relieved. It has been on my mind since I wrote my first mail to them... I didn't even realize that I was thinking about it. But I just couldn't close this chapter. They were still friends and family, and nothing would be able to change this.

I made sure they were sent, then turned the laptop off again.

I had been spending so much time in front of the computer in my old life... I didn't even miss it. I stand up and stretch myself, go towards the door. As I'm passing the fireplace, Sally smiles at me. "Hey Sal... how are you doing? Enjoying this place?" I blink at the picture of my cat. "Me? Yeah. I enjoy every moment of it, too. I really love Drake. Not just because he is a dragon. Also because he is so... I don't even know how to describe him... I can't find words strong enough to describe my feelings for him." I stroke over the frame of the picture. "Love you too, my little purr-monster." I place her picture back onto the fireplace and continue my way towards the bedroom. The door opens with a clicking sound.

Over there lies him. My companion. My true love. Sleeping soundly in the middle of our big bed, arms and legs spread far from him. I climb into the bed and lie down on his left side, placing my head on his upper arm and my left arm on his chest. My left leg hooks in between his legs.

"So?" "You're still up?" "Was waiting for you. What did they say?" "Well... mostly what I expected... missing me, asking me what happened, when I will be back.." "And what did you answer?" "Nothing about dragons or a world above." "Sorry... didn't want to sound like I was interrogating you." "No, I should stop overreacting. You are just curious about my friends and family. I mostly told them about you, my soulmate who makes me happier than I ever was... and had my coming out, I guess..." "Congratulations."

"Do you mind if I keep lying like this?" "Of course not. I mean... I know how much you like to cuddle, and I like this feeling of closeness as well... You know... I was a little scared before... that you would not like it... that I was rushing you. Stupid, right?" "Concerned, but definitely not stupid." "I'm glad you liked it." "Are you kidding me? I'm almost sad we left that place. And all the effort you put into it... I don't know how I can ever thank you for that." "You don't need to thank me. I wanted to do this myself." "I know but... it was way more for me than just... an extended picnic, more than just showing me the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen. I'm not talking about such trivial things like my first sex. It proved to me that I absolutely and totally am in love with you. That I don't want to spend a single day without you anymore... I hope I don't seem too clingy? Cause this is how I really feel." "That alone is thanks enough for me, Chris. And no, you are not too clingy, at least not for me." "Thanks Drake." "You're welcome."

I cuddle closer to him until my belly touches his side and my head rests on his chest. And as my consciousness fades, I feel his arm on my shoulders, his fingers running through my hair. And although my eyes were closed, I knew he was smiling.