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Ian p.o.v

I sit there, waiting for the conversation between Avi and the federal agent to end so I can have him back to myself. I know I'm selfish, but now I understand why I'm so attracted to Avi, why I've been doing what I've been doing. It's as if the iguana gave me a revelation about myself that I didn't even know about. The psychiatrist explained everything to me concerning my borderline personality disorder. It's true that I only live for Avi, that I would do anything for that wolf. I can't help who I am, but now that I'm more knowledgeable of my flaws, I can become more aware and learn from my mistakes. I am blessed with a curse, and I will abuse it if I have to just to be with him. Still, they have medication for my mood swings, and the doctor will give me some anti-depressants to make me more normal. I've heard that people with borderline personality disorder usually have some other mental illness, and from my anti-depressants, I'm probably diagnosed as clinically depressed. I thought of myself as normal before, then the whole dream thing happened followed by falling in love in Avi and the whole ordeal with my parents. Did I get my mental illnesses from the traumatic experiences I endured while suffering in hell with my parents? Or was it simply a ticking time-bomb that happened to detonate at the same time as this all happened? What if it's a combination of both?

"Are you alright?" Braxton asks. I snap out of my meditative bubble, and I look up and see Braxton bearing a concerned expression on his guise, worry filling his sky blue eyes. "Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for asking," I reply, putting on a smile to comfort him, but I did not feel as if I were alright, the weight of all my mental illnesses bearing down on me. I don't know why, but I feel like a complete fuck up, like I can't do anything right. I just wish Avi was here so the two of us can talk about this. I feel like I'm drowning in my mind, and I can't escape no matter how hard I try. Apparently my thoughts appeared on my face as Kevin and Natalie took worry to my emotional state. "Are you sure you're alright Ian?" Natalie asked, the tone in her voice matching the expression on her face. I make a split-second decision and decide to tell them; they have been here for me and helped me in my time of need; it would be wrong for me to leave them in the dark. I sigh and let it all out. "It's just that, when I went to go see the psychiatrist, he asked me what went on from my point of view and how I felt. I couldn't help but rant about Avi, and how great he is, but even with my cheerful thoughts of him and us, but the weight of the situation between me and my parents caused me to cry my heart out. The feelings of hopelessness crashed back to me like a giant wave as I remembered the time when I thought I would never see him again. So the psychiatrist diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder and clinical depression. I've come to realize how dependent I am on Avi. I mean, what if something happens to him or to us? I can hardly even fathom that thought but the possibility of it could arise in the future. How would I deal with it without causing harm to my body? How would I prevent myself from taking my own life because I can't live without him? How can I regain my independence? I love Avi, but I don't want him to be in an unhealthy relationship. What should I do?"

They all took a moment to take it all in and analyze it to find the best solution. Then it was Braxton who had the answer. "If you're really worried about him being in a diseased relationship, then maybe...maybe you should break up with him," Braxton said softly. "I could, but where would that leave me? How would I manage to gather the strength to do it? Avi is my drug, and the withdrawal symptoms would kill me. How could I leave him after all he has done for me? Not only would it destroy him, it would tear me apart inside out," I replied. "Is there anything else I can do?" "You could talk to a psychiatrist about you and Avi, I'm sure they'll help you with your psychological dependence of Avi. That should work. And if you want a healthy relationship, then you ought to spend every moment you can with him, be happy together, and when I mean happy I really mean happy, no faking it. Talk out your problems, communication is the key to a healthy relationship. That's how Natalie and I have been together for so long," Kevin tells me, then turns and kisses his beaming wife. I evaluate both solutions thoughtfully, and I decide to go with Kevin's because it would allow me to be with Avi. He may be my drug, but he won't always be with help.

Just then Merissa walked in the room, and she grinning at the sight of me. "Ian!" she exclaimed as she rushed up and gave me a bear hug. "I'm so glad to see that you're up! I was so worried when you slipped into your coma I thought I weren't going to see you conscious until I graduated college. You look so much better than you did when you came out of surgery, no blood on you this time." "I'm glad to see you too," I say laughing. "How was the wedding?" "Oh it was great I got see family and friends, and we danced and partied and ate and drank until two in the morning. I'm so glad for my aunt for finally tying the knot with such a great guy," she answered. "That's good. How's school, and how much work do I need to catch up on?" I ask her. "School's alright, people are worried sick about you though. A few people came to see you while you were unconscious, and the principle was ready to seal your locker forever in remembrance of you. As for the work, there's no way in hell that you'll catch up. Good thing is that since you nearly killed, you and everyone else in your AP classes get to skip the exam and get an automatic five since we can't test accurately because we're recovering from a traumatic experience. But now that you're up, the teachers are probably going to hear about and send you a stack of work that you missed," she said almost bursting with laughter. "Good luck trying to use your left hand." I slug her softly and look at everyone around me, everyone who has been worried sick about me, and appreciate them for being here with me. I realized that my sister wasn't here, and I started worrying about her whereabouts. "Where's Allison?" I questioned, worried. "She's with your aunt and uncle right now at your house," Braxton said. "She texted Avi that she is not allowed to see you since apparently this whole ordeal is your fault." "She will be at court tomorrow, right?" I asked for confirmation. "She's an important witness to this whole mess." "Don't worry she will, and she'll testify against your parents; I'm sure of it," Braxton answered, comforting me. I smile lightly and wait for Avi to return.

Avi finally walked in in the middle of an episode of Regular Show, the one where Margret leaves Mordecai for college. I couldn't help but to perk up at the sight of him, but I saw that his face had a dark expression written all over it. "Hey!" I say excitedly, my tail thumping vehemently against the bed. He lightened up a little, turning his frown upside down, and sat down next to me. "What's wrong?" I asked in a low voice so the others won't hear. "I tell you about it later," he replied in the same low voice. I gave him a hug to succor him, and he took it in graciously. I wonder if he had the same discussion as I had, if he has the same uneasy thoughts as I do concerning my emotional state. The same cloud of uneasiness shrouding over him waltzes its way over me. As he said, we will talk about it later, and I should wait until then.

The rest of the day passed by in a blur with everyone talking about the big day tomorrow and watching TV, whether it be the news, cartoons, or some new reality show. Avi gently woke me up and hopped down silently, careful not to wake the others. He opened my wheelchair and placed me inside it, and then we stealthily left the room. Three doors down he began to speak what was troubling his mind. "He told me that you have borderline personality disorder and clinical depression. He explained how your BPD affects your mood and your actions. He even told me that the reason you are alive is because you still had a will to live, the hope that eventually through all that mess it will just be us together. He told me how if something happened to me or to our relationship, that you would just give up on life and kill yourself," he said, starting to snivel. "I love you Ian, but what if something did happen to us? I don't want you to just waste your life on a guy like me. Just promise me that if we ever get to that point, God forbid it, but if we do, that you would keep on going strong, that you'll live. Live for me Ian. Please Ian just promise me that you won't kill yourself!" There was a stream of tears flowing down from his eyes, and he got down and hugged me firmly. He kept on whispering, "Please don't do it Ian, just promise me you won't do it," and I just sat there, not moving an inch as I am shocked by his emotional breakdown. I stare into space, and I feel his tears coming down onto the back of my neck. I couldn't take it anymore, his sadness was making me sad, and I hugged him back tightly and started wailing with him. Here we are crying because I'm mentally unstable. I wish I wasn't so I wouldn't have to worry Avi. I push him away softly and look directly into his eyes, which were red from crying. "I promise," I whisper. "You mean it?" he asked, sniveling. "Yeah," I confirm, "I mean it. Plus will all my new medication, I probably be dead before I even have the chance to carry it out." I began laughing, and he joined in. We both were two fools laughing and crying in the middle of the hall at three in the morning, but I want to be with this fool no matter what, and if I lost him, it would hurt, but I think I could mange on without him. I think I can keep my promise to Avi. No, I will keep my promise to him.

Everyone awakes at around eight, and we all exit the hospital. We all go to our respective houses to get ready for the trial, with Natalie dropping Merissa at her house and Braxton driving to his house. Everyone showers except me, who takes a bath with Avi's help. We all wear business casual clothes: Avi, Kevin, and I wearing a black suit and tie with black khakis, and Natalie wearing a grey suit and tie with a grey skirt. Avi and Kevin wear a golden Michel Kors watch while a wear a silver Rolex. Kevin grabs an overstuffed briefcase and walks to the car. We all follow close behind him with Avi pushing me in my wheelchair, and we all get in the car. Natalie get's in the driver's seat while Kevin gets in the passenger seat and reviews the contents in his briefcase. I sit on the left passenger seat behind Natalie and look at the papers that Kevin is studying. I lean over to Avi and whisper, "Is your dad a lawyer?" "Yeah, he's a prosecuting attorney," Avi whispered back. "Then why do we need Braxton's dad if we already have a lawyer," I asked. "Because Braxton's dad is a defense attorney, and he knows how defense attorney's defense work, so they'll undermine your parents defense. You'll finally be able to know peace and freedom after today," he answered.

We got there ten minutes early, and there was Merissa and her family along with Braxton and his family. I saw Allison sitting on the opposite side of the court room, just behind my mom and dad who both were wearing orange jumpsuits. Kevin and Braxton's dad got with each and started planning their plan of attack, while Avi, Natalie, and I sat at the prosecution table. Braxton and Merissa were all smiles and wished us good luck as the trial was about to start.

The bailiff, a tall German Sheppard with eyes as black as the void, told us all to rise, and I felt dumbfounded because I couldn't stand up to respect the judge, so I sat up straight. The courtroom was now in session, and the bailiff told us that judge Gladstone, an old medium sized horse with brown fur and a white mane, but very muscular, would be presiding and that we were free to sit. "Here we are on a beautiful day, the winter season finally starting to leave as spring starts to roll in, and we have to discuss a case about the horrible atrocities that these parents committed on their son. How does the defense plea?" Judge Gladstone asked. "Mrs. Compton pleads guilty, your honor, and Mr. Compton pleads no contest," their defense lawyer says. "Well let's see, both of you are charged with false imprisonment, several cases of child abuse, several cases of assaulting a minor, I mean the list goes on and on, how could anyone commit these atrocities? Mrs. Compton, since this is your first offense, you could get life with parole if found guilty, but Mr. Compton, you could face the death penalty if found guilty. Do you have anything to say for yourselves?" the judge asked. "Yeah," dad snarled, baring his teeth, "that I'm going to kill this faggot once we're done with this." "Great, threatening to kill a minor. Mr. Compton you're not making this good for yourself at all," Judge Gladstone said. "The defense may start with their case."

The case got going with my parents going to the stand first, then Allison, then Avi. The defense attorney is bombarded by the prosecuting duo, and so far the odds are in our favor. Mom and dad went on the religious route, but the wise horse didn't even budge, and refuted their defense. I finally came up to the stand and told my story. The defense attorney, a large rattlesnake, his diamond eyes matched mine in color, slithered his way up to me. "So you're saying that you brought this upon yourself, Mr. Compton?" the serpent asked, his tail rattling. "Don't call me by that surname, call me Ian," I told him. "And what do you mean that I brought this upon myself?" "Well you had a girlfriend before this whole ordeal started, but then you chose to be involved in a homosexual relationship despite the fact that your parents are very devote Christians and aren't very welcoming to homosexuals since it goes against their religion," the serpent said, pressing my case. "You knew the consequences, but did you do it to upset your parents, Ian?" His tongue was flickering in and out with anticipation, waiting for me to slip up, and it was pissing me off. "First off, my girlfriend knew I was gay long before I did, meaning that I was a latent homosexual, and I became a normal homosexual after I met Avi Moore. Second off, I knew my parents were very religious, but I never expected for them to hurt me in such a way that I nearly died, twice! I didn't come out to them to upset them; I came out to them to tell them who I am. If they couldn't accept me for who I am and condemn me, then I don't need people like that in my life," I answered, glaring at the sad excuse for an intelligent being. "Yes but you spat in your dad's face in defiance provoking him," the snake said, turning to Judge Gladstone. "You're honor my client has a history of anger issues, and the witness here knows that. He knew what he was getting into, but did it anyway, knowing of the consequences and knowing that his father would lose control of himself." The snake grinned as if he stumped me, but that only annoyed me even more. "It's true that my father has anger issues, but my family has a history of mental illnesses. I have anger issues too, but I have learned to control it, like he should have long ago, but I guess the alcohol in his system failed to allow him to control him. And he's not even supposed to drinking, he's on probation from any drugs expect for medicinal and tobacco," I reply, baffling the defense lawyer. "No further questions your honor," he says, and I leave the stand.

After a few minutes of the prosecution and defense bicker at one another, the judge goes into the back and considers the verdict with a group of advisors, placing the room on a ten minute recess. We all know we won, and I'm grateful for it that my parents will get the punishment that they deserve, that justice will be served. We go to the café area and grab something to drink and munch on while waiting. When we finally arrive back in I check my watch and see that it's a quarter till noon. Judge Gladstone sits before us and orders my parents to stand. "After reviewing the case, the State of Georgia finds Mr. and Mrs. Compton guilty. Mrs. Compton, you will have life with parole. Mr. Compton, I herby sentence you to death by lethal injection," Judge Gladstone said indifferently. "May God have mercy on your souls." Before he could slam the gavel down I shouted, "Wait!" Judge Gladstone looked at me with a puzzled expression on his face, but gave me permission to say what I have to say. "If I may your honor, could you change my parent's sentences? I know they have wronged me, but I will show them forgiveness for the hell they have put me through. I would like you to drop all the charges on my mother, she's a good woman and doesn't deserve to have her life ruined over something stupid; however, I would like for you to terminate her parental rights effective immediately, and I would like a restraining order put on her. As for my father, death would be too easy for him. If you may, I would like him to have life without parole," I say with sympathy in my voice. I glance at my mom and see her crying, her face in hands as I show her mercy. The judge considers and agrees. "Mr. Compton, I hereby sentence you to life without parole, and Mrs. Compton, the charges have been dropped; however parental rights for Ian and Allison Compton have been terminated effective immediately, and there shall be a restraining order placed on you preventing you from being within a certain distance from Ian Compton for five years." Judge Gladstone slams down the gavel and my father is taken away, glaring at me with hatred and my mom hugs my aunt tightly as she has been set free.

"Now, parental rights shall now be deemed forth to Ian and Allison Compton's aunt and uncle," the old horse said. "What!" I shout. "They'll just finish off my parent's job. They'll send me to one of those ex-gay camps! They'll send me to military school to change me into something I'm not! Please don't make me go with them!" "I sorry but the State of Georgia deems parental rights to closest living relative," Judge Gladstone said. He motions for the bailiff to come and wheel me away, but I get out of my chair and crawl towards Avi. He runs up and locks his arm in with mine, but the bailiff grabs my legs and a game of tug-of-war starts. More officers comes to break up apart, and we are momentarily as two officers grab Avi, but he bites one on the arm and decks other before coming to grab me. "I'll never let you go Ian," he says softly as tears fall down his face, and we kiss one another before the officer was bitten pulls out a taser and aims it at Avi. I part our lips and shriek, "Avi look out!" but it was too late, the officer shot him, countless bolts of electricity course through his body until he lies there unconscious. "Avi!" I wail, and Merissa and Allison come and knock out the officers and try to save me. The court room is in chaos and more officers rush in and aim there tasers at Merissa and Allison. They dodged the first few but there were too many of them. Allison went down first, then Merissa, their bodies making a loud thump as they hit the floor. I kick the bailiff in the face, a world of pain coming from my leg, but that didn't matter. I crawled back over to Avi and cried over him, until the officers carried me by all my limbs. "Avi!" I screamed. "Avi! Put me down you fucking bastards!" I was struggling to get free, but I managed to punch on officer dead in his face and bite another, causing the front end of my body to fall. "Avi!" I wailed with tears flooding out of my eyes. The officer that I decked got up and pulled out his taser, aiming it dead at me. "Avi!" I cried out before I was zapped unconscious. It seems that our relationship would be put to the test, and I have to take a test of will to keep my promise to Avi. I remember a quote from Natalie, "If two people are meant to be together, then they will be together in the end no matter what happens to them." I'm going to have to trust this quote to get by until we meet again.

To be continued...