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Romance ... sex ... porn ... they are all related. While they may have different methods of getting there, in the end, any type of romantic literature is all about people coming together, emotionally and physically, in one of the most emotionally charged moments of the human experience. The difference between the Porn and Romance is where the focus is for the reader.

The Difference

Typically, men are in it for the physical passionate release of sex and women are in it for the emotional experience of the relationship. While these are not always true ... there is a definite connection between men watching porn and women reading romantic stories. Therefore we shall begin with these two.

PORN is about the sex. The emotions leading up to the sex are just an excuse to have sex. If any story exists, it is often there for the sole reason of having sex and it could disappear completely and little or nothing could be lost.

Porn is physical. People come together, rub all over each other, penetrate each other's comfort zones, and then cover each other with their bodily fluids. When writing porn, the reader wants to "see" the action. Skin slaps skin, voices moan in ecstasy, and the people involved engage in perfect explosions of god-like sexual prowess that leaves the submissive partners(s) so spent and used that they cannot move. The dominant partner, on the other hand, will then leave the scene and go wrestle a bear or something. Why? BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT THEY DO!!! <gunt> <gunt>

ROMANCE is about emotion. The act of sex is physical and primal, but it is best surrounded by the types of emotions that allow us to feel safe in the arms of our partner. While some people desire dangerous partners, wild partners, or aggressive partners, the emotional effect of the story is what we are there for.

Romance needs buildup. While porn can exist in a single scene without any type of real world built around it, romance is a relationship. Time, patience, and involvement are required for a reader to get anything out of a romance. If porn is a firework (<whistle> <boom> "YAY!" <done>) ... then romance is a forest fire. It starts small and many times it fizzles out (because that's life) ... but once it gets going, woe be unto those who get in its way.

Romance requires an emotional involvement from the audience. The reader must get to know the characters and become emotionally invested in them. Any two warm bodies can rub their parts together, but when a person that you care about falls into the embrace of another person that you care about ... true beauty is born. That is what romance is about.

Erotica - LET'S DO BOTH!!!

Mixing the two together takes time, energy, and practice. The level of sexual heat is purely dependent upon the stomach of the writer and the target audience. The focus of certain details can change a sweet scene into something dirty in a few short sentences. Therefore ... if the devil is in the details, then our devil is in which details to focus upon.

1) High Romance & Low Heat:

The focus is on the feelings of the people and their frailties. The story builds as the characters agonize over the object of their affections. There is ALWAYS some sort of conflict keeping them apart, otherwise it would be over too quickly. Be it some sort of emotional trauma that one or both partners suffer from or just a situation that causes them to initially dislike each other, the characters involves must go through a process of warming up to each other while something else is happening around them. In the end, the lovers resolve their differences and come together both emotionally and physically ... and then we fade to black ...

2) High Romance & Medium Heat:

... OR maybe we get to watch. But remember, the focus in not on the physical act of sex ... it is about the emotions generated by the relationship. At this point, the sex is just a really awesome way of saying, "I love and trust you." These types of sex scenes involve large sweeping descriptions of the character's emotional state. "She draws him into her body and holds him there ... feeling his heat as his heart thunders through the both of them."

Fill the senses without describing the body parts. Bodies move "together" in the dark. Gasps and moans of pleasure fill the air. The taste of a lover sizzles the taste buds and fuels their fire. The audience can imagine what the body parts are doing ... and any type of "Tab-A into Slot-B" description will draw the audience away from the feelings surrounding it. Remember ... this is not about the sex ... the body parts and their carnal activities are just an afterthought.

3) High Romance & High Heat:

... accept for when they are not. For some people, the sex is just as important as the path to getting there. "I just read 200 pages of story and damn-it I want to WATCH & FEEL them going at it!" Okay then ... now it is okay to describe the parts and their activities. Do not forget the romantic value of the head and the heart, but feel free to cut loose and let the voyeuristic audience enjoy the sex. Who knows ... the audience might be getting off as they read.