Diary of a Madwolf
A brief documentation of a wolf who slowly loses his mind. (Not based off of real events)
Entry 1: A Glimpse of MeI caught a fleeting glimpse of emotion today. It felt to me almost like sadness, or maybe even loneliness. It's odd to me how the identities of these emotions have faded from my comprehension with the fading of days since passed, and it's odd to me how they only seem to come to life when I eat berries and think back on all of all of the wolves I used to care about. And maybe I still do care about them. Maybe they were my only true companions. And now I have nobody. I've always felt something eating away at the base of my stomach, and I've always thought that it was this thing trying to destroy me, but I never considered that maybe I could still feel. It never occurred to me that I could still miss people. It never occurred to me that I could still love. Then again, it could just be the berries talking again.Entry 2: Vicarious RealityLife is a peculiar thing to me, because it seems as though I am never seeing it with my own eyes. Entry 3: Blood LustI cherish the thought of blood on my paws, the thrill of watching the life slowly drain out of somebody; but the only reason why I haven't entertained this desire is because I know it would only end badly for me. Two years in confinement awaiting a verdict from the court, then probably the rest of my life locked away in the Penitentiary den. That's no way to spend a life. Entry 4: Soul SearchI've spent a great amount of time searching for my consciousness, but thus far have found nothing. Entry 5: Untitled Number 1I don't know why, but for some reason I've lost my feeling of self worth today; but fear not, it happens sometimes. Entry 6: The TurnThe devil now resides within me. I'm sorry god, but you've failed me.Or have I failed you? Was it not as it seemed?Was I not alone in this fight?Or did you abandon me?No, I know the answer now. It is because I abandoned you that I have failed.Or were you ever there in the first place? Entry 7: Playing with BloodI love to play with blood. I love to dip my paws in it, to let it drip from my claws. Splatter it on a wall, watch it roll from my wound. Its consistency like water, but so much more colorful, with an importance of similar equivalency, as without it, we could not survive. Swirl it in my mouth, spit it between my lips then smile as it drips from my chin. It lingers between my teeth like delicious flesh. The sight makes me happy. The thought excites me. The taste is divine as I lick it from my claws,
and the picture it paints on the floors and walls lets everybody know just how much I love playing with blood.Entry 8: The Cry of the AlbatrossDark face with empty eyes and straggly, brown fur. She stands over in the corner under a cloak of mist, smiling at me, but she has no teeth. She never moves. She just stands there and smiles. There is no soul behind her smile.Entry 9: Dark SunHope tells me that I will be fine, but hope knows no pessimism like the reality which plagues my mind. Entry 1o: PawsTwo paws float in the dark, attached to no arms or body. They are pale and frail, but swollen and wrinkled, like they had been in water for quite some time.Entry 12: FaceA pale, blank face, with large, empty eyes. There is no mouth, nor nose- only those cold, hollow eyes staring at me. Entry 12: The Last GoodbyeThis is not suicide, nor sacrifice. All it is, is the inevitable result of my struggle. I wish it had a better outcome, but I guess I was not as strong as I thought, and for that I apologize. There is no saving me from myself now. Death is the only salvation I shall ever find.