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Methane hydrate, check. Copper sulfate, more than I'd like at any time but, check. Diathicolide, check. Dram buthanium, only a couple of bottles, that willl make it hard for us.Lunar caustic-

¨Hey, what are you doing Rolly?¨ said a familiar voice behind me, scaring me so much I almost dropped the bottles in my paws, damn, I'd got to do something with this nervousness or I'm not going to make it to fifty. I turned around to face the culprit and saw 'Shew standing near the door, carrying his usual glasses and his infamous cane, I was deeply familiar with the latter.

¨Nothing much¨ I replied ¨Just packing what we need, making sure no reagents accidentally blow us up, you know how sensitive they can be¨

¨Have you said goodbye to your mother already? I was thinking of doing so myself right now¨ he said off-handedly, but I knew what he really meant, he isn't very good at this subtlety thing, at least not when it comes to me.

¨No, I...I will go once I'm done with this. I'll go later¨ I told him in what I hoped was a calm and composed voice, though I doubted it would fool him, he knew me too well for that to happen. I needed to distract him, to take him off balance, so I did the only thing I could that wouldn't be to obvious, I continued packing vials and bags, making as much noise as possible.

¨Then we can go together, I still don't know how to make my way across this irritating town¨ I heard him said over my shoulder. His shirt was wrinkled, and the way he held himself betrayed his tiredness, it had been a while since he looked like that, not since the days back at the UPU when we had test week. The hellish invention professors had trusted upon us to ¨prepare you for the harsh life you will have once you graduate¨, I bet they never expected us to really face life, it was just for their sadistic pleasure.

¨Ah? Eh...no,¨ I said when I saw his hand begin to twitch, a clear warning that he was itching to use his cane¨ Why don't you ask somebody else to take you there? It's not that hard¨

¨I can wait,¨he replied quickly¨ I have some time to kill. We can go together, I'm sure your mom will be glad yo see us¨ He said resolutely as he planted himself in the nearest chair he could find with deadly accuracy, and somehow, he still managed to keep a ¨patient¨ aura around him.

¨How about you? What were you doing 'Shew?¨ I asked him. I had a couple of ideas, one involving a certain clumsy student, who I hoped he wasn't teaching any dangerous reactions.

¨I went to change my bandages, that's all¨ he replied matter-of-factly

¨Did you have any problems¨

¨No, they're good. No infection, no muscle damage¨

¨Have you gotten yours checked up?¨

¨No, not since yesterday.¨ I admitted, they still hurt a little, but it was nothing like the wounds I sustained in Newport, those still hurt from time to time ¨But they're just a couples of scratches nothing to worry about¨

And then we grew silent, but it wasn't an uneasy silent. We both enjoyed each other's presence, we basked on it, and we drew comfort from it.I kept on packing the rest of the ingredients, double and triple checking on the most volatile ones, while 'Shew, well, he did the usual, thinking.

¨You should go now, you know, in case something happens later¨ I said after a while. I didn't really want him to go, but I figured it was around late afternoon already. It would be hard to find a home in Vallara after dark, they all looked the same at night.

¨Okay, I'm through with this.¨he exploded, his voice was demanding but he still managed to kept it in the level of polite talking, which was kind of unnerving.¨ Are you even planning on going to your mother's?¨

¨I...y...I...yes, I mean, no, I...I don't know, okay, I just, I don't know¨ I mumbled, my voice was barely a whisper, yet I knew 'Shew could listen to it, he was that good.

¨What do you mean you don't know? It's your mother Roland. How could you just go without saying goodbye to her?!¨he said accusingly ¨ What's wrong with you? She was happy when we visited her, or did that not get through that thick skull of yours?¨

¨You wouldn't understand 'Shew, I just can't, okay?¨ As soon as I said those words I regretted them to the depths of my soul. I had hit a sore spot for him, damn, I didn't even know why I said them, but the one thing I DID know is that I had woken the dragon and I was a defenceless pup.

¨Sure...sure... I obviously can't understand,¨ he started, his voice growing lower and more spiteful with every word ¨How could I dare to understand you when I'm the heartless orphan, isn't that right? I'm so out of my element I shouldn't even speak up about these things, family, friendship, how could I DARE to talk to you about that? I'm sorry for showing some empathy¨

¨YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT¨

¨THEN WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY THAT, HUH? ¨

¨I'M SCARED, OKAY? I'M REALLY SCARED.¨ I finally admitted, I hadn't realized it until I said it. That was the truth, the reason behind all this. I was scared, scared to my bones. ¨Do you realize what we're going to do, Do you have you any idea of what that means for those close to us? We're in over our heads, hell, we might not even make it past tomorrow. You saw how Inigo and Jessen ended up, and they're very good at what they do, and we haven't seen Alarice in a while. I don't want my mom getting involved in this, I don't want her to worry so much, I have already made her worry more than enough, I just want her to be safe, is it really that hard to understand?¨

¨But that doesn't mean you should just go like that, you're not like that Roland¨ he told me, his arms slowly enveloping me in a warm hug, helping me catch the breath I didn't know I was missing.¨She's your mother Roland, she has a right to know, or at the very least you should go and say goodby before leaving¨

¨I....I just.....I don't, I have no idea of what I'm going to tell her. How do I say good bye when I'm not even sure I'm going to return¨