FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Part 9

The bus ride back wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be. Carson put his ear buds in and stared out the window, his paw cradling the side of his head. I, on the other hand, was consumed by my phone instead of the rhythmic beats of music. And thanks to Verizon, I actually got service up here. Though, I don't know if that was a good thing or not. When I turned on my phone, my mother had texted me at least 40 times and called at least 20 (believe me, I wish I was exaggerating). I texted her back saying I was fine and told her someone bumped into me and broke my phone, but now it's fixed (no...she probably didn't believe that, even if it was true) and, again, that I was fine. She replied immediately with an angry barrage of capitalized letters. I could only look up at the roof of the bus and thank God that I was hundreds of miles away from her. My father, though, probably moved his chair from the living room and situated it by the door, waiting for me to get home to give me the "thanks a lot" look. I get that look usually when I fuck up and he gets dragged in the middle.

Her temper subsided, but still asked if everything was okay. I assured her for a couple minutes that I was okay and that everything was straightened out, and that I was on the bus going back to the campsite. After that, we actually had a very nice conversation. Well, I knew it was nice after I got back and had time to go on my phone.

Throughout the conversation, I'd glance over at Carson, whose attention was away from me. As we rounded a corner, the golden rays of the sun ignited his eyes to look like emerald jewels that not even the most decorated king would be worthy to wear. I envied his eyes. To me, eyes were the most important part of the body. I had to have someone with beautiful eyes, it's what attracted me to Brent, after I learned he was a muscular wolf football player that is.

His eyes were magical, the blue jumped out at me every time I'd gaze into them. They made me happy, honestly. Someone with such beautiful eyes had to have a beautiful heart, right? Back then, I equated the eyes to the gateway of the soul. It was stupid of me, but, hey, I was young.

It's not that you were wrong, you were just seeing it the wrong way. Like normal.

Oh, what do you know anyway? Aren't you in my head?

Well what I know is that there are always going to be two sides to a story.

So, what? His eyes were like a trap?

Are they? I wouldn't know. I'm just in your head.

What do you want?

I'm hurt. That really hurt-

What. Do. You. Want.

For you to stop being a pussy.

I sighed. Look, I really am not in the mood to deal with you right now, okay?

Why? So you can stare at husker over there? Just bone him already.

Is that all you can think about? Sex?

Hey, according to you, I'm in your head. Pervert.

One day...

I shook my head and looked at Carson again. His face had a glow about it as the trees shot past him in the background. Even the black of his fur seemed to glow. His ears twitched to the music. His claws tapped against his muscular thigh. His toes clicked against the hard bus floor. A small grin crossed my muzzle as the paw that wasn't holding his head up went to his crotch to adjust his underwear.

I wonder how big it was. I bet it was big. I bet he's good in bed too. Well, I know he's good in bed. I'm friends with one of his ex's who said she was...pleasured every time. She didn't say that exactly, but, even I wouldn't say some of the things she said. That's not the point though. I was honestly really curious to see what it looked like. And how it felt. I bet his knot was big-

I shot my head down to my phone as Carson turned his head towards me. I saw it a second before it happened. As I was just about to think how easily his muzzle would feel against my...hole, I saw it start to turn towards me. With my head down, I pretended to busily text my mother; what, I had no idea. And for effect, I turned to him, who was still looking at me, with hesitation at first, then locking eyes with him. I smiled, and he smiled back, and then I put my head back down, and that was that.

But that muzzle...

I threw the thought out of my mind. I, for some reason, was disgusted by myself that I was watching Carson like this. He had been a good friend. A really good friend. Actually, he wasn't even a friend. But throughout it all, he stuck up for me. No matter who it was, he always would turn the attention of malicious eyes away from me. Even Brent.

I wonder what he was doing now. Maybe he was playing football. He'd always play football, or, at least try to. He'd even invite me along. And one day, when the kids he usually played with couldn't come for their different reasons. I faced off against Brent. I don't know if you could call it a football scrimmage with only two people, but we played our hearts out (when I mean 'we' I mean him, I played my heart out, but in a 'almost succumbing to a heart attack' sort of way). Towards the end of the game, I had the ball, and he asked me to try to get past him. Well, it didn't work out that way. I, being an idiot, thought I could juke him out. I stepped as if going right, but cut immediately to the left where Brent was waiting for me.

We collapsed to the ground, he swiveled himself so I fell on top of him (later, he told me, so I wouldn't get hurt). We fell laughing and continued to chuckle like a hyena in the middle of a not-so crowded park. As I lay on top of him, my paws pushed up against his chest and our legs intermingled, the warm feeling in my gut started up. His laugh was the first to stop, and he stared at me with his sapphire eyes. I stared back, wanting so desperately for him to kiss me. But I knew that wouldn't happen. He was barely out to the school, and only a select few of the football players knew about it. He would never do that in public.

I started to get up but his arms that had been protectively wrapped around me held firm.

"No," he breathed, not breaking away from my eyes.

The next moment, I was leaning down, eyes starting to shut. I felt the warmth spread throughout my body as he held me tightly against him. The kiss...oh, the kiss. I've never had a kiss so magical than that. When our lips touched, I know this is going to sound corny, fireworks erupted throughout my body. Our tongues, it was like dancing. They moved together, in sync, as if a silent beat hung in the sunny afternoon air. The passion that I had only read about in books or seen in movies was finally coming true. I wrapped my arms around his neck, the wet grass licking at my forearm. I remember feeling one of Brent's paws go lower, down my spine, to the base of my athletic shorts. I'm not going to lie: I would've done him right then and there, if there wasn't a couple enjoying a nice stroll.

That moment, that beautiful, wonderful moment, I felt myself being transformed. Then, I thought I was being transformed into someone who finally found 'The One'. But, now, maybe it was the moment that finally transformed me into the person I am now: a cowardly fox, who relied on someone untrustworthy to be a protector. In that moment, though, the only words that crossed my mind were three simple, but powerful words.

I love him.

"What're you smiling about?" My head snapped up and to my right. Carson was smiling at me, his left earbud in paw. "I think that's the first smile I've seen on you all day. What got you to finally be...not depressed?"

I hesitated before answering. That kiss, I could feel it even now.

"Nothing," I replied. "Absolutely, nothing."