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The Life of Another - Chapter 4

© Jake Atkinson

The room had two raised beds with desks underneath and a window on the far wall between the beds contained an expansive view of barren trees and snow covered buildings. While the Spring thaw was well underway, it would be some time until everything melted completely.

In a hurry to leave the medical department, I failed to search the massive duffle bag thoroughly. As such, I had made the journey between buildings without shoes and my paws were damp. I hesitated reflexively at the doorway, not wanting to track dirt into the room. There was a substantial rug on the hardwood floor which I hopped to before sitting down on the chair in front of the empty desk.

Jim tilted his head to the side with a quizzical look, not sure why I was hopping. He dropped his burden beside the backpack and hesitated awkwardly like he wanted to say something. I glanced over and mouthed "Thanks" before zipping open the bigger bag to find an item to dry my paws with. Wadded in the corner I found a towel that must have been the remnant of a tapestry depicting an epic alien battle with an invading creeper. It was a two-tone floral print in which the puce background fought valiantly with vermilion flowers and vines. I cringed, my ears going back as I held it momentarily aloft before rubbing my paws dry.

"Yeah, Jenna picked that. In her defense, there weren't many towels to choose from. It was either that or Hello Puppy." His tail wagged softly while he continued speaking. "I thought we tossed some flip-flops in there somewhere."

Now he tells me? I thought.

"We weren't sure what size shoe you wore so that's all there is." By his tone I could tell something was up. I rummaged deeper into the bag and produced a Louise Vuittonne Berry sandal. It was brilliant strawberry red and had studs along the straps in varying colors and shapes. While I held it Jim offered up a sheepish grin. I threw it at him, causing it to bounce off his arm as he winced, his tail tucking between his legs as he laughed. I found it's companion a moment later and hurled that at him too. "Hey hey! But they go so nicely with your tail!" he retorted as he held up his hands in mock surrender.

I managed to grin and take the joke in stride. "Seriously, there's some regular ones in there somewhere." he said as he lowered his hands and his fluffed out fur slowly went back down. I pulled out some serviceable jeans, shirts, shorts, socks and finally two cheap foam rubber flip-flops. The rest I left in the bag to return to the donation room later. I considered selling the sandals online as I picked them up, I knew they were probably several hundred dollars new, but the idea didn't feel right so I tossed them in with the other returns.

"Your orientation material is in the backpack and that's your tablet on the desk behind you, they're school issue but David makes them cool." He suddenly remembered something and pulled out his phone, glancing at it before saying "Sh#t, I gotta get to my next class. So uh, we're cool right?"

I mouthed, "It's fine." and waved him off.

I stared into space for a moment as the door closed behind him. I felt overwhelmed and had no idea where to start. I took a deep slow breath, emptied my mind and stared at nothing. I stopped thinking about my cold damp paws, the accident, my injuries and my future. Now, we only live in now. Focus... what has to happen now? A shower, now is perfect for that. Everyone is in class, the bathroom is empty and it will give me time to think, that and I smell like a corpse pulled out of a lake, which I guess is kinda fitting but still...

I grabbed a pair of black jeans and a plain navy blue T-shirt. I didn't want to wear the clothes I had on since they were over my still dirty fur and I had a penchant for cleanliness. I was wearing the only boxers in the bag but there was a veritable mountain of tighty-whities to choose from. Figures these would end up in the donation room, ah well beats going commando. Not wanting to use the now dirty towel I grabbed a few hideous shirts from the donation bag to dry off with and took the backpack in with me as it had everything else I needed.

The bathroom was surprisingly clean but cluttered with brushes, bottles of shampoo, tubes of toothpaste, fur-dryers and other paraphernalia. I cleared some space on the double sink counter and set down my bag. I was stripped and in the shower in a matter of seconds, shampoo bottle in hand. I had a strange habit of starting the shower without waiting for the water to get hot and followed my old routine blindly. The icy water permeated my fur and I leaped from the stall, almost falling as my wet paws slid on the tile. Raw fear gripped me and my heart pounded in my chest. Holy crap! Where did THAT emotion come from? I looked around peevishly despite the lack of an audience and waited for the water to get hot before stepping back in_. Damn, guess I still have issues to deal with there._ I thought as I flashed back to my first breath in Roger's body.

My mind wandered back to life before the accident as I began to scrub. I made preparations for various contingencies, mainly death and discovery, but how could I have planned for something like this? I only have until the end of the month before my dead-man switches start to flip unless I reset them. Maybe I should let them go off. I can't go out of body anymore, how can I continue the work? At least that will hit Thad, but not as hard as I'd like. Damn, it would have been nice to see him squirm! To think of all the lives he ruined... I caught the anger creeping into my soul and called myself out. Come on Eric, that's not what the work is about and you know it. Don't let that crap taint you, take a breath, step back. All life must be respected. I repeated the mantras a couple times and refocused. Ok, the switches fall. Without my old talent the work is over. I'll lose my accounts but I'll deal with it. It would be nice to get to my old apartment one last time... no it's not worth the risk. The safety deposit boxes are gone too, even if I got the keys my biometrics would never pass and I don't look enough like my old body even if it is the same sub-species, plus there's risk there too. Fine, death protocol it is.

I felt as if someone close to me had died. I only let the weight and emptiness bear down for a time before trained responses took over. The past doesn't exist. The future has yet to come. I took a breath and resumed my inner conversation. Maybe I can continue the work in another way. I owe it to Roger to make something of my life, of his life. I found my resolve and stepped from the shower.