How It Goes - Part 23
#24 of How It Goes
Apologies for the delay.
Let me just describe this chapter with two words: resolution and confusion.
Writing this was difficult in many ways. It took a while before I even managed to find a thread to tug on, and even then I'm not sure I picked the right one. On the other hand, pondering if I did the right choice gets me nowhere. This is what it is, and it'll continue the road to where I want the story to go.
However, I fear there might be a similar delay until next release, and the one thereafter as real life complications have hit the scene. I'll do what I can to get back on schedule.
Thank you.
Scott listens to the doorbell ring - the_Imperial March_an ominous welcome to his presence heard dimly through the door. The door unlocks, and Oscar peers out with his earphones askew. "Scott?"
"Hey," Scott replies meekly as he rubs his hands. The bear looks perplexed and opens the door.
"What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to see you," Scott replies with a small smile. "And... and to apologise for last weekend."
Oscar grimaces and gestures for him to come in. Scott gets out of his spring jacket and carries it under his arm as Oscar closes the door behind them. The soft click of the lock leaves the two of them breathing softly.
"How've you been?" Scott asks as Oscar leads him into the living room.Nocturne is paused on the TV screen, in the midst of the_Matador_fight.
"I...I've been okay," Oscar says unconvincingly as he flops into the couch. Scott leaves his jacket in a nearby chair and sits down next to the white bear - who shies away with his small, stubby ears splayed.
"I'm sorry," Scott heaves as he leaves some distance between them. "What happened at that party wasn't your fault. I just... completely lost it."
"No, I'm sorry," Oscar replies, his voice weak and at the verge of a whimper. "I knew you were with Theo, but I really liked you, and I was being selfish, and I ruined it..."
"You didn't ruin it," Scott murmurs gently, as his digits tap the silver band subconsciously. The bear turns to face him, and his mismatched eyes fleet down to his paw.
"You... you said yes?" the bear croaks.
"You... knew about it?"
"I suggested it to him," Oscar rubs his eyes. "It...it suits you."
"Thank you," Scott murrs, and he gently touches the white bear's arm. Oscar grimaces again.
"I don't want to be in the way," the bear whimpers. Scott scoots a little bit closer and places his other paw on Oscar's cheek. "W-What are you doing?"
"Thinking to myself that you're still the most gorgeous bear I've ever met," Scott whispers.
"But... but Theo..."
"Knows I'm here," Scott continues as he gently rubs Oscar's muzzle for a moment; he then ruffles his headfur. "We talked about it. Boundaries, I mean."
"A...and?" Oscar asks anxiously, quietly, hopefully.
"Snuggles. Sleepovers. Snogging. Shagging," Scott taps his fingers one by one. Oscar flushes harder with every tick. "I asked him twice to make sure."
"Really?" Oscar blurts out as he clenches his fists. "We... we can really..."
"Whatever you want," Scott grins as he scratches the side of Oscar's neck. The bear shivers and looks away.
"I really want to," he mumbles, "But I ... I don't want to be in the way..."
Scott sighs softly as he scoots closer to the bear, and pulls him into his chest. His damp nose brushes over one of Oscar's ears, and he licks the top of his head gently.
"Don't worry about it," he whispers tenderly. "You're not in the way. I'm here if you want me."
"Could we maybe..." Oscar whimpers softly, his nose brushing up against Scott's snout. "Snuggle?"
Scott nods and pulls the bear up into his lap. Oscar buries his snout into the wolf's neck and breathes him in, as Scott nibbles his ear. The bear giggles into his fur and paws at his chest, yet Scott does not relent until the bear pushes him over. Scott grunts and looks up at the white bear, whose face is apologetic yet amused.
"Sorry," Oscar says hurriedly, "I didn't..."
Scott grabs Oscar by the collar and growls playfully as he pulls the bear down. Oscar yelps as he lands face-down atop the wolf, his chest ground against Scott's muzzle. There's a muffled groan as Oscar pushes himself up on all fours - he towers over Scott, who grins up at him.
"Sorry, I just..."
Scott grabs Oscar by the collar again, and pulls the bear's muzzle close to his own. His tongue gently finds the black of Oscar's lips; his breaths are hard and slow as he watches the bear flush. Oscar is still for a moment before he reciprocates; their tongues mingle, then their lips touch. The wolf's hands slowly rub the bears chest, descending slowly until his fingertips knead into the ursine belly. Oscar twitches and breaks the kiss, giggling uncontrollably. "S-Stop, that t-t-tickles-"
His lips curled into a grin, Scott continues to antagonise the squirming bear; Oscar collapses on top of him, with mingled whines and giggles. "P-please..."
Scott's hands slowly crawl along Oscar's sides, slowly making their way to the bear's waist. The giggles become a very soft whimper and the bear presses his face into Scott's throat. "No, please, I... I'm not ready for..."
Nodding, the wolf's paws slide up underneath the bear's shirt instead, and gently rubs his lower back. The whimpers become soft moans as Oscar rubs his muzzle into the wolf's fluff; Scott ruffles and scratches the bear's cheek as he gazes at the television. "How's the Matador fight going?"
"It's a pain," Oscar huffs as he turns his attention to the telly as well. "It starts out fine, got Dark Might on all my demons, but then we get to phase two and he always ends up using Focus and Andalucia together."
"You don't have Uzume?"
"No, I wanted to try without overlevelling for once. So no Uzume, no Fog Breath. Got Sukunda, but it's not doing much." Oscar sighs and nuzzles Scott's chin. "I think I'm a bit tired of Nocturne anyway."
"How's the Demi-Fiend going?"
Oscar grunts in frustration. "I got through one cycle of adds twice. I just can't seem to recover after Gaea Rages."
Scott nods and licks Oscar between the eyes. The bear giggles and shifts on top of him. "You should give it another go," Scott urges.
"Must I?" Oscar smiles half-heartedly as he sniggers at the wolf's lapping. "Yeah, okay, I guess I could. Maybe I'll get lucky this time..."
"How long did this take you?" Oscar says in awe as he stares at the victory screen. Scott squeezes him tight with one arm.
"An hour and twenty," Scott grins as he nibbles the bear's ear. Oscar murmurs gently as he leans into the wolf.
"An hour and a half...fuck this fight," he snickers. "Just... fuck it."
"Sounds like an interesting photo," Scott remarks with a chuckle. Oscar snorts as he makes his way in-game to the save point; after saving, he gets up to turn off the PS2 and the telly.
"Thanks," he mutters softly as he sits down next to the wolf.
"What for?"
"For coming over." Oscar twiddles his fingers as the familiar flush creeps up his cheeks. Scott caresses his cheek and nods slowly. "Could you lay down?"
"On my back?" Scott replies; at the bear's nod he does as he's told. Oscar crawls over him on all fours, his nose touching the flat of Scott's chest at first, then the underside of his snout, the tip of his chin, his nose. The wolf basks in the bear's breath as Oscar parts his lips; he does the same, and waits.
"I feel the same way," Oscar whispers against Scott's mouth.
"Murr?"
"I..." The bear flushes hard and angrily as he looks away. "I'm in love with you too..."
Scott's smile lights up as he timidly grasps for the bear's lips with his own. Oscar's flush does not die down, but when their maws lock it is with an audible moan. The taste of the bear's tongue, the radiating warmth nestled on top of him, the sound of Oscar - Scott basks in it with perked ears; his tail thumps against the cushions; he squeezes the bear tight and tighter, not able to recall any other moment to compare...
"Am I too heavy?"
"No," Scott murmurs into Oscar's ear. "You're just right."
The dying light of the sun pours in through the curtained windows. The two of them gaze at the world outside, wistfully, quietly.
"You have to leave soon, don't you?" Oscar whimpers softly as his eyes rest on the clock next to the bookshelf. The hands are almost aligned to eight o'clock.
"I do," Scott nods sadly. "Need to study for tomorrow..."
"I still have homework," Oscar adds with a heavy sigh, and he nuzzles Scott's chin gently before he rolls off of the wolf.
"My bus leaves in ten," Scott sighs, and Oscar rolls off of him. "I should probably get on my way."
"Will you be here on Thursday?" Oscar inquires as he follows Scott out to the hallway. "For roleplay, I mean?"
"If you'll have me." Scott slips into his jacket and starts putting on his shoes.
"Of course we will." Oscar twiddles thumbs again as he fails to look Scott in the eyes, his cheeks a light shade of red. "When...when can we spend time together again? Just... just us, I mean?"
Scott hums for a moment. "How about Friday at my place?"
"That sounds great," Oscar replies, though he still looks wistful. "Means I don't have to deal with Bax in the evening..."
"So stay the night," Scott urges, his hand on the door handle. "Get a peaceful morning too."
"Really?" Oscar exclaims breathlessly. "I can?"
"Yeah," Scott nods. "I'd love it if you did."
"I really want to," Oscar grins; Scott grins with him as he checks his cell.
"Five minutes. I'll talk to you later, okay?"
Halfway through the door, Oscar grabs him by the hand. "Wait..."
Scott kisses him without a second thought. The bear huffs happily as he laps at the wolf's face. Their eyes meet momentarily, before both avert their eyes, and they say simultaneously, "Thanks" - before they gaze at one another. Scott snorts and shakes his head in mild disbelief, and Oscar blushes giddily. "See you Thursday, then."
"Yeah," Oscar nods, his eyes alive. He shifts back and forth on the balls of his feet eagerly. "See you!"
The kitchen fan hums quietly as Scott pours tomato sauce over his pasta. He reaches for the shredded parmesan when the doorbell rings; he sighs and goes out into the hallway. When he opens the door, he is greeted to a bouquet of flowers - held by Brian.
"...Flowers?" Scott remarks, bemused. "Really?"
"...Yeah, it's tacky, isn't it?" Brian replies with a grim smile. "I didn't want to come here without a gesture."
"You're all dressed up," Scott notes. Brian does look immaculate, the top button of his black shirt unbuttoned, his trousers freshly ironed.
"I didn't want to do this half-arsedly," Brian says solemnly as he bows his head. "Scott, I'm sorry. I fucked up. You were only looking out for me, and I pissed all over that. I'm sorry. I've sobered up, though. Well. For the most part. Still a beer on Fridays and all, but..."
"I missed you too," Scott smiles as he gently grasps for the hand with the bull's flowers. "I was just about to eat dinner. Made a bit too much if you're hungry."
"Won't say no to food," Brian admits as he hands Scott the bouquet; his eyes glance the wolf's paw. He straightens up. "Is that a..."
Scott hums momentarily as he, too, glances at the ring. "Theo proposed."
"Congratulations," Brian grins - fixedly, Scott notes - as he pulls the wolf into a crushing hug. The bull kisses Scott between the ears. "Makes me feel like less of a twat for buying you flowers. Ring suits you."
"Thanks," Scott replies as he leans into the bull. He glances at the clouded sky, and his ears perk at the rumble of thunder crashes somewhere far in the distance. The wolf bites his lower lip and tugs on Brian's shirt. "Okay, actually, let's get inside."
Brian glances over his shoulder, and makes sure to close the door firmly.
"So, engaged and everything," Brian says as he wipes tomato off his chin. "At the ripe age of eighteen."
"It's young, I know," Scott replies quietly. His ears twitch at the sound of heavy rain beating against the window, his tension nigh palpable. "It's strange too. People always notice the ring."
"How'd he pop the question?"
"He came over on Saturday, we talked about what happened the week before," Scott recounts, his eyes dancing between the half-eaten bowl of pasta and the window, "And he told me he couldn't see his future without me, so he asked if I would spend my life with him."
"What'd you say?" Brian replies sardonically. "Apart from yes, I mean."
"That he was completely insane," Scott snorts. "I said he was mental. He told me to be mental with him. That's what sealed it for me."
"Then shagging aplenty, I suppose?" Brian muses. Scott rolls his eyes - only to yelp and leap out of his chair when light flashes outside the window, thunder crashing down nearby. "Shit, Scott, hey hey hey..."
Brian rises from his seat and hurries over to the wolf. Scott trembles and leans into the bull's embrace. "It's okay, relax," Brian murmurs calmly as he nuzzles the top of Scott's head. "I'm here, I'm here."
Scott says nothing as he buries his head into the bull's chest. There is another rumble from outside, and Scott winces hard with a whimper in his throat. "Can't it stop soon?"
"Report said the storm would last until tomorrow morning," Brian replies apologetically.
"Great," Scott grumbles as he inhales sharply in anticipation. Another strike leaves Scott breathing hard, but he slowly detaches himself from the bull. "Grin and bear it..."
Brian guides Scott back to the table, and sits down next to the wolf. Scott resumes his consumption, and Brian lays his arms around his shoulder with every crash of thunder.
"I'm pathetic," Scott mutters as he leans into Brian.
"Eh, we all have our fears," Brian shrugs. "You know how I'm around spiders."
"You do scream," Scott agrees shakily as he continues his lukewarm meal. "I'm glad you're here. I did miss you."
"I did too," Brian murmurs, gently nuzzling the top of Scott's head.
"What... What happened to you, exactly?"
Brian's soft nuzzles slowly stop, and the bull sighs heavily into Scott's fur. "Theo happened."
Scott sighs too, though he twitches angrily when another rumble from outside intrudes. "How?"
"Scott, ever since we were twelve I thought you were mine," Brian begins bitterly. "We did everything together. Cuddled. Snuggled. Slept together. When puberty hit... I wasn't sure what to do, to be honest. All the films and shows, y'know, they kept telling us that being as close as we were, we'd be together forever. Romantic bullshit, I know, but... I never... I haven't snuggled with anyone else, or held anyone. It doesn't feel right."
"We tried," Scott replies quietly. "We tried, and you laughed it off. Said it felt like we were brothers."
"I lied. You were so insecure and nervous, it felt like I was taking advantage of you." Brian sighs. "Then you met Theo, started talking about him a lot. I didn't really think about it, since we never stopped cuddling or anything. So when Tom finally snapped and told you to ask him out, I didn't really care if he said yes. Figured he was an arse, and that it wouldn't last. Then..."
"New Years happened," Scott finishes softly.
"Yep. Reality hit me in the face. Suddenly I didn't have you anymore. I couldn't really deal with it. Didn't feel so bad when I'd had a couple of beers, though. Then... Well. It escalated. Ruined things with Tom. Drinking meant I didn't have to think much, though... then I screwed up with Amy and almost lost you completely. That was my wake-up call."
Scott pushes away his bowl and leans into the bull with splayed ears. "Do you blame me, or... or Theo?"
Brian goes quiet for a moment, and he rests his head on top of Scott's. "No. I'm just jealous. He's lucky to have you."
"Can_you_ explain why everybody seems to fall for me?" Scott says quietly as he presses into Brian's chest.
"No idea 'bout the others," the bull replies softly, lovingly into his ear. "But I've spent over half my life with you. You can't blame me for that."
Scott nods and buries his muzzle into the bull's neck. There is a flash from outside, and the wolf shudders; Brian's embrace tightens as rain whips hard against the kitchen window. After a while Brian slowly lets go of the wolf; Scott notes Brian's tension as his large stature seems to shrink.
"Scott, I need to ask a favour of you..."
The Ox reeks of alcohol and sex still. Tom sighs heavily as he goes over the counters with a wet cloth; he grimaces as his gaze avoids the grime and remains of last night's hours. As he wrings the tablecloth he glances at the rest of the bar and its surfaces - when his eyes land on Scott, he almost drops the cloth. "Scott?"
"Hey," Scott replies weakly - his jacket drenched and his ears splayed. With every rumble from outside, he shudders.
"Scott, what are you..." Tom says softly, almost angrily as he moves out from behind the counter. "How'd you get in?"
"Walter," Scott replies breathlessly.
"I told you," Tom says flustered, "I didn't... I don't want to... Fuck sake, Scott, it's a storm outside, why the hell are you..."
His voice trails off as he looks over Scott's shoulder. Behind the wolf stands Brian with another bouquet of red and purple, his face apologetic and his stature timid. "Hey there."
Tom stares at them both in disbelief for a moment. Then he throws the wet cloth angrily at the nearby table, and starts pacing around. "What the hell are you thinking- what makes you think I- bloody Jesus Christ-"
"Tom, please," Brian interrupts anxiously, "I came here to apologise for-"
"For treating me like shit?" Tom yells, his fists clenched. "You fucked me, and then ditched me? Where the fuck were you when I fucking needed you!?"
"Tom, I'm sorry. I fucked up," Brian responds heavily. "I know, I should've been there for you, I should've talked to you after New Years, should've been the friend I'm supposed to be. I fucked up, Tom. I'm sorry."
"You had better be," Tom growls as he paces between the tables. "For fucks sake, I don't need this right now, I don't-"
The otter stops in front of Brian, and the bull faintly offers the flowers. Tom glares at them for a while as he catches his breath. "Flowers?"
"For you," Brian replies quietly. "I thought..."
"I don't fucking need flowers," Tom snarls as he knocks the bouquet out of Brian's hands. Scott watches Brian's disheartened expression worsen considerably as the flowers scatter across the floor. "How can you be so fucking daft! I want... I just want a bloody..."
With gritted teeth Tom walks right into Brian, pushing his head into the bull's chest. Momentarily taken aback, Brian looks down at the otter, and then up at Scott with a confused yet relieved expression. With a quiet sigh Brian brings his arms around a quivering Tom.
"I hate you," Tom mutters quietly, half-heartedly into Brian's chest. The bull snorts and smiles weakly down at the otter.
"I hate me too," he replies softly, nuzzling the top of Tom's head. The otter's ear twitches and there's a faint, reluctant sniffle. When Tom pulls away, it is with hurry as he wipes his face.
"Fuck sake, I'm at work and everything," he grumbles as he dries his cheek on the sleeve of his blazer. "Could really use a drink right now."
"I know the feeling," Brian replies sympathetically as he looks over at Scott. Scott shakes his head slowly with a sigh, and Brian rolls his eyes.
"You gained weight," Tom remarks, surveying Brian for a moment before he starts collecting the flowers. Scott notes the tight waistband underneath the jacket, and he splays an ear.
"Turns out a lot of beer and no exercise does that," Brian mutters as he moves to help the otter alongside Scott.
"Did you stop boxing?"
"Not done much of anything lately." The bouquet mostly reassembled, Brian flops into the nearby couch. Tom looks down at the roses - blue and red and purple.
"Why roses?"
"Not much of a flower expert," Brian shrugs as he splays his arms over the back of the couch. "Wasn't sure what would best say 'I'm sorry'. What the hell is this?"
The bull pulls back his arm, a white and sticky clump on the side of his palm. Scott cringes and looks away; Tom snorts and reaches for the tablecloth. "I'm guessing that's cum. You're sitting in the blowjob couch."
"Holy shit, you could've said something! " Brian leaps up like lightning as he tries to flick the wad out of his paw. Tom throws the cloth into his face.
"Use that, you idiot."
"Shit, what kind of bar is this?"
"You don't know?" Tom looks over at Scott, who flashes an entertained grin - mixed with mild discomfit. "Gayest bar in Kidlington. Probably in Oxford. Sex isn't allowed on the premises, but the place's packed during the weekends. You'll always catch a glimpse of cock here. You're lucky I cleaned up last night, place was reeking."
"You didn't clean the couch very well now, did you," Brian mutters angrily. Tom rolls his eyes.
"I avoid this area like the fucking plague," Tom retorts as he walks behind the bar. "Would tell tell the manager to have that couch thrown in a fire, but the smell would just attract all the cock hungry sluts in the vicinity."
Scott looks at Tom as the otter finds a pitcher in which to put the roses - and he hears the loathing in his voice, the bitter edge in the last few words. Tom looks down at the flowers with a faint smile. "Thanks."
"I really want to make this up to you," Brian replies as he wipes his paw. "Just... just tell me if you need anything."
"What I need," Tom says as he glances at Scott, placing the flowers on the rear counter. "Is for you two to leave so I can get on with my job."
"Okay," Brian nods and he too looks at the wolf. Hugging himself still, Scott smiles through gritted teeth as the thunder outside grows more vicious. "Let's go, Scott."
"I need a word with Tom," Scott says as steadily as he can.
"I'll go start the car, then."
As soon as Brian leaves, Tom sighs heavily and walks over to the wolf. "Scott..."
"I wanted to see you," Scott mutters.
"But I told you-"
"I know what you told me," Scott interrupts, fixing his gaze as he tries to stand straight. He rubs his hands and grits his teeth at the second cascade from outside. Tom looks away, his voice oddly hopeful.
"Did you sort things out with Theo?"
"You tell me," Scott replies as he grants focus to the band on his hand. Tom blinks and stares for a moment, his face slowly sinking.
"I... I see." Tom's voice falters and he looks away. "I'm glad to hear."
"Tom..." Scott whispers, as he shakily places his paw on Tom's cheek. Tom closes his eyes with a heavy sigh and gently presses his head into the wolf's palm. Then he yelps as Scott brushes his lips against his own.
"S-Scott?" Tom starts, but his voice is muffled by the wolf's tongue. He eases into the kiss momentarily, savouring the taste of Scott, before he pulls away. "Scott, what the fuck- What are you doing- For fucks sake, you're-"
"Theo's okay with it," Scott says calmly - though he cringes at yet another outside cacophony.
"No, but it's not right," Tom replies flustered as he shifts anxiously. "I'm not okay with it, Scott..."
"I'm sorry," Scott whimpers solemnly. "I didn't know for how long you'd avoid me."
"I said for a couple of months! I want to see you all the fucking time, I just- I-I have to do stuff, Scott, I ..." Tom clenches his fists and shakes his head in anger. "Fuck sake, Scott...Can you... Can you just leave now?"
Scott nods and smiles faintly. "I love you, Tom."
"I love you too, Scott." Tom looks up and grimaces, wiping his face. "Will you... are you..."
"I am," Scott nods as he turns to leave. "Good luck, Tom. I'm waiting for you."