How It Goes - Part 20
#21 of How It Goes
20th part of the story. A milestone. so congratulation, wow, many celebrate
Writing this took a lot of time and willpower from my end. Part of me didn't want to finish it, but this is how it turned out.
It might be two weeks for part 21. Thank you all for supporting me so far.
Scott sprinkles a final dash of cayenne atop the prepared burritos before he puts them on top of the oven, next to the pizza. Sweat dribbles down his brow as he prepares the timer, rinses the used pans and utensils, deposits the compatibles into the dishwasher, and places the prepared salad in the fridge. He catches his breath as his phone starts to buzz on the kitchen table.
"Theo," Scott answers heavily.
"Hey, I'm sorry, I'm going to be late," Theo says apologetically.
"What's happening?"
"It's... it's Kato, actually." Theo sighs darkly. "Things... went bad, and he's got nowhere to go. He showed up on my doorstep right as I was about to leave."
"Okay," Scott replies sadly. "Make sure you take care of him."
"Could I maybe take him with me? The lad's lonely."
"Yeah, of course," Scott says, though he bites his lower lip. "Though I'm wondering if I need to prepare a third dish now..."
"Yeah, about that... Amy wanted to come too. Talked to her after the exam."
"Well, good thing I already included her in my preparations then," Scott says wearily. "I need to take a shower before people show up. I'll see you later?"
"Yeah. Soon. Love you."
"Love you too." Theo hangs up. Scott sighs as he puts his phone back on the table, and he moves toward the bathroom. Before he can reach the stairs, the doorbell rings. When he answers the door, Tom looks up at him, dressed in his old clothes, holding a plastic bag.
"Tom!"
Tom grunts as Scott pulls him into a tight hug. "You're alone?"
"Yeah," Tom responds quietly. "Walt's coming later, he was having dinner or something with... anyway, I gave him the address."
"I was just about to hit the shower," Scott huffs as he ushers Tom inside, locking the door.
"Don't let me stop you, then. Need to unwind my legs anyway. Long walk." Tom looks away as he starts unbuttoning his jacket. Scott nods and he hurries upstairs, only realising he's wagging when he's on the doorstep to the bathroom.
He takes off his apron and his flour-coated shirt, which he throws into the laundry bin. His trousers and underwear follow shortly after, before he finds a fresh towel underneath the sink.
"I still wish you were my first, you know."
Tom leans on the doorframe as he glances at Scott. The wolf covers himself and blinks at Tom.
"I've never seen you naked except the few times we showered together in the locker rooms." Tom looks away, his minuscule ears splayed. "I need a shower too. Can I join you?"
Scott looks at Tom for a while before he pulls out a second towel. "Of course you can."
The warm water pours over Scott, and he exhales in relief. He watches Tom awkwardly get out of his trousers, with his back turned away from the wolf. When he enters the shower, it is very carefully to keep his front away from Scott. "Are you okay?"
"Could I have the shampoo?" Tom asks quietly.
"Yeah, of course," Tom reaches for the bottle. As he hands it to Tom over the otter's shoulder, it slips from his fingers and rattles on the floor. Tom dives to the floor to catch it, and loses his footing; Scott manages to grab him by the arm.
"No, don't," Tom squeals as he's pulled up on his feet. Scott waits until Tom stands steady when he notices the white and tangled blotches on the side of his neck, shoulder and chest. Reluctantly he touches a spot with a fingertip, and a small blob of sticky gunk remains on his digit.
"Tom...?" he whispers as the otter pulls away.
"I met up with a guy, okay?" Tom replies bitterly. "On the way. Sucked him off, but he didn't let me swallow so he made a mess."
Tom lowers his gaze. Scott bites his lower lip. "If you didn't want me to find out, you could've just showered alone."
"I... I wanted to tell you, Scott," Tom mutters. "Wanted to tell you since you came to the Ox with Cecil. I just couldn't. I just hoped maybe you would notice, but at the same time I'm terrified."
"That you've been seeing a guy?" Scott replies uncertainly.
Tom bites his lower lip. "I've met a bunch of guys. I don't even know their names. We meet up, they whip their cocks out, I blow them, we part, I never see them again unless they're a patron at the Ox."
Scott stares at Tom. "But... but why?"
"'Cause it makes me feel useful." Tom looks up and meets the wolf's eyes. "It makes me feel like I'm worth something, even if it's just for... for a couple of seconds. Yet, right after I get a mouthful I just feel empty again, and ashamed, and... worthless."
Scott nods faintly as he sits down with his back against the corner. He extends his paw to Tom and beckons him down too, pulling Tom into his lap. The otter doesn't shiver or sniffle at all, he simply leans into Scott's chest, limp and dejected.
"I just want somebody to hold me," Tom croaks. "Is that too much to ask for?"
Both remain quiet, and after a while Scott reaches for the bottle of shampoo next to his leg. He squirts a bit of soap into his paw, smears it over his hands, and starts to scrub the blotches meticulously. Tom presses his head against Scott's throat.
"I love you," Scott nuzzles the top of Tom's head, as he kneads Tom's chin. "I'm not angry with you, or disappointed in you. I don't know if you're going to stop sleeping around. I just wish you would remember that I'm here for you."
"I'm just so ashamed."
"Is it... wrong to sleep around?" Scott asks as he continues to shampoo the otter, working over his stomach and sides.
"I suck people off for free food. Or for a place to sleep at night."
Scott stops his scrubbing and splays his ears. "I thought you had a flat."
"I don't," Tom whimpers. "I never had one. I started screwing around right after I got the job, and I was so embarrassed to even go back here. I ... I fled. I sleep over sometimes at the bar..."
Scott starts to reply, but stops himself. He takes another batch of shampoo, and starts working on Tom's thighs and legs.
"Say something?" Tom whispers.
"I wish you didn't lie to me," Scott replies flatly, and he splays his ears. His digits slide between Tom's toes, and the otter squirms.
"I'm sorry, Scott. I'm really sorry."
Scott shifts Tom in his lap and works his back. Tom presses his head into Scott's chest.
"Are you disgusted with me?"
"No," Scott says sadly. "I just wonder if... No, it's stupid."
"If what?" Tom nuzzles Scott's shoulder.
"It's a stupid what if."
"Tell me," Tom leans forward as Scott works the base of his tail.
"What if we'd gotten together that morning?" Scott sighs heavily as he continues down to Tom's rump. "What if I'd been more insistent? Would... would that have been enough for you?"
They both fall silent for a while. Scott pulls Tom into a tight hug and Tom cuddles up against his chest.
"I love you, Scott."
Scott splays his ears as he notes how sad Tom sounds.
"You really mean that, don't you?" Scott replies faintly. Tom nods weakly against his chest, and Scott pulls him further up his lap until his snout rests atop the otter's blunt, brown-furred muzzle. Tom nuzzles his chin softly, his nose trailing up to his lips, then to his nose.
Tom turns to face the wolf as their lips touch, his smaller paws on Scott's chest, and his crotch pressed hard against the wolf's belly. Scott huffs when the kiss ends, and looks down at the otter's cock. It rubs hard against his fur, thick and short, though smaller than his own cock, which presses against Tom's thigh. The otter reaches down and wraps his hands around Scott's member; he gently guides it up to rest against his own.
"What are we doing?" Tom whispers. Scott bites his lip as his hand finds Tom's dick; at the touch, the otter moans.
"I don't know," Scott whispers back. "Something we should have done years ago?"
"Yeah..."
Scott breathes heavily, and watches the otter, whose gaze is momentarily fixed on their members. Then he looks up, and he leans forward again with parted lips-
They both freeze to the sound of the doorbell. Scott waits for Tom to start laughing, though the otter's face has not an ounce of humour in its lines - nor does he feel at all amused. Tom lowers his head and presses against Scott, who embraces him with no hesitation.
"Stupid party," Tom grumbles.
"I know," Scott replies quietly. The doorbell rings again, and Scott sighs heavily. "I really should..."
"Yeah, I know." They both get up from the floor, and Scott immerses himself in the shower stream, hurriedly beating away all the leftover soap. Then he steps out into the cold bathroom and grabs the towel. As he dries his face and his feet, he glances at Tom. The otter is running a hand alongside his own cock, with a puzzled face.
"Tom?"
"I haven't cummed since Brian," Tom says quietly. "I thought I'd explode on you."
"Would've been another quarter in the shower," Scott laughs weakly.
"More like half an hour," Tom snorts.
Scott brushes off most of the excess water and wraps the towel around his waist. "I honestly thought this couldn't get more confusing..."
"What's confusing?" Tom asks as he gets underneath the stream, the white layer of shampoo flooding off like a waterfall.
"I..." The doorbell rings again. "I'll tell you later, I really need to get that." He makes sure his nether regions are well hidden.
"Hey, Scott?"
Scott looks up.
"You wondered if you'd have been enough for me?" Tom rinses his headfur, with the biggest grin Scott's ever seen. "With what I saw between your legs, damn right you'd have been."
"Idiot," Scott chortles, and he grins back. The doorbell rings a fourth time.
"Why hello there, handsome," Cecil grins as Scott opens the door. Flushing, Scott steps back to let him in; only afterwards does he realise a weasel is there too.
"'Ello," the weasel says with a curious grin. "Tom invited me, though I'm not sure I got ta the right house?"
"Yeah, you did," Scott replies. "I think I saw you at the... the bar?"
"Aye, you came an' asked fer Tom, if I recall. Didn't expect this kinda welcome, though. Could I come in?"
"Of course."
"Ta," the weasel grins. Not as tall as Scott, the weasel nonetheless looks formidable in a dark blazer and matching trousers. There's a whiff of cologne as he passes by. When he hangs up his jacket, he reveals a white tanktop, and Scott tries to stifle a flush of admiration for an impressive physique. Cecil's clad far more casually, in an emerald-green shirt which matches his eyes and a simple set of beige trousers.
"Nice house, innit?"
"Yep," Cecil nods.
"Prolly should introduce meself," the weasel says with a smile showing fangs, and he extends his paw. "Walter Radamanthus Mitchell. Walt for short."
"Scott," Scott responds as he grabs Walt's hand - almost dropping his towel in the process. "A pleasure."
"Somebody's parents are into Greek mythology," Cecil chuckles.
"Yeh, idiotic, innit? Jus' call me Walt, and we'll be best pals."
"Living rooms over there, if you could show him? I've set up all the consoles if you feel like gaming." Scott looks at Cecil. "I need to..."
"Don't need clothes," Cecil winks.
"Nah, don' mind the view either, though I'll confess ta being an 'orny fucker tonight."
"I will never get why everybody wants me," Scott says flatly. Walter shrugs, and he pats Cecil on the shoulder.
"So, this living room he's talking 'bout..."
Scott finds Tom drying his fur. "Who's arrived?"
"Walter and Cecil," Scott huffs. He tries to catch his breath.
"Ah, he found the place alright, then," Tom replies as he walks up to Scott, and he helps the wolf get dry.
"He's..."
"A sexy fucker?" Tom suggests as he kneels in front of Scott and carefully dries his thighs.
"Shameless," Scott finishes as he looks at Tom.
"Yeah," Tom nods, glancing up up.
"This looks wrong."
"Yeah, it does, doesn't it? Just how I'm used to..." Tom lowers his head.
"But yeah, Walt reminds me of Amy," Scott continues as he pulls Tom back up onto his feet.
"Who?"
"A friend of mine and Theo's. Mouse." Scott runs his towel down Tom's back. "Brian's fuckbuddy. Not sure if she still is."
"Wait, wait, wait," Tom groans, as he leans into Scott's towel. "Size-queen Amy? As in, one of my sister's bitches?"
"Sounds like her, yes," Scott remarks nonchalantly. "Though she dumped Fran after what happened to you. Punched her in the face, if I recall."
"Good. She deserved it," Tom growls bitterly, before he frowns. "So what do you mean, fuckbuddy?"
"She coaxed Brian into a threesome with Theo at a party about... three weeks ago? He didn't cheat," he adds as Tom looks scandalous. "He asked if it was okay, and I didn't mind. She's been trying to sleep with me too."
"I'd say something about sluts, but I'm hardly one to talk," Tom says, splaying his ears.
"She's only fucked Theo and Brian anyway," Scott mumbles. He runs the towel down Tom's back one final time. "You're all dry."
"Thanks." Tom looks around the room. "Oh, fuck, forgot my clothes downstairs."
"They're there," Scott points at the pile in the middle of the floor.
"I don't feel like wearing a cum-stained shirt to a gathering like this," Tom grimaces. "And I only have my work clothes..."
"Just go find a shirt in my bedroom, I've still got half my wardrobe here."
"Yeah, sure, thanks." Tom grabs his pants and trousers. "Could I launder my shirt here?"
"Of course, just throw it in the laundry bin. I'm staying here this weekend anyway."
"Scott..." Tom looks pleadingly over at the wolf. "Can you please not tell anybody about... about my sleeping around? Not even Theo?"
Scott looks up at Tom, and he bites his lip. "Yeah... yeah, of course."
"Thanks... and remind me to..." Tom shakes his head, but smiles nonetheless. "No, nevermind. Back in a sec."
"Fuck sake, I'm terrible," Walt laughs as he loses again in MvC3. Tom watches the match by the doorway, while Scott swarms the kitchen, pulling out bags of crisps and other sweets from cupboards and drawers.
"Holy shit, Scott" Cecil calls from the couch as he peers into the kitchen. "Did you buy the snacks section of a supermarket?"
"I wasn't sure what people liked, so I bought a bit of everything," Scott replies as he finds a myriad of bowls. "Could either of you come help me?"
"I'll help," Walt calls, and he leaps over the back of the couch.
"Want a rematch in the meanwhile, Tom?" Cecil asks, waving the second controller in the air.
"Yeah, sure," Tom replies, and with a rare wag he grabs the controller and sits down next to the bunny. "I'm rusty, though."
"Making excuses already?" Cecil smirks.
"Yeah, think I am," Tom replies with a small laugh. Scott smiles at the pair from the kitchen as Walt starts pouring crisps into the bowls.
"So, tell me," Walt says conversationally, "Is Cecil one o' us?"
"One of us?" Scott replies uncertainly as he finds a cutting board and a knife.
"Is he a big ol' faggot like the rest o' us, s'what I'm askin'," Walt grins. "'Cause I'm interested. Cute tush."
"Oh. Yeah," Scott replies, and he glances at the weasel. Walt winks at him as he carries several bowls of crisps over to the kitchen table. "Do you even have to ask? I mean, he's been at the Ox."
"Twice, far as I can remember," Walt replies with a chuckle. "Jus' want to make sure, s'all, you'd be surprised how many guys jus' come 'round to check it out. Ta. What you cuttin'?"
"Forgot the salad," Scott replies. "Could you maybe-"
The doorbell interrupts him, and his ears perk. "Sorry, I should..."
"No need ta apologise, you go welcome your guests."
When Scott opens the door, he is greeted by Bax, dressed in knee-length shorts, a tank top and a leather vest, complete with leather cuff bracelets; Franz, in a blue plaid shirt and a pair of denim jeans, much like Scott's attire; Duke in dark trousers, a red shirt and a grey jacket, hand in hand with a doe in a thick pink sweater, and a maroon skirt which reaches down past her knees; and ...
"Oscar," Scott says breathlessly. Oscar looks embarrassed in red cotton jeans, a white shirt and a light red cardigan, complete with a small red-and-white bowtie.
"We're not all called Oscar," Franz smiles. "You looks great."
"Oh, sorry," Scott flushes as he gestures them inside. "Thanks, Franz..."
"Didn't realise you were loaded," Duke remarks as he takes off his sandals. "Oh, and this is Jessie."
"Hi! Thanks for inviting me to your party," the doe smiles widely as she grasps Scott's hand. "I'm Jessie."
"I'm Scott. Nice to meet you. Living room's here," he nods to them all and guides them through the kitchen. Cecil and Tom duke it out almost angrily, and there's a bit of swearing as Tom enters an infinite combo. "Just... just get comfortable."
He looks over at Walt, who is busily cutting up pepper and cucumber, having already shredded the lettuce. Walt glances at him and smiles apologetically. "You mentioned salad, so I checked the fridge and had enough fer a Greek, so I figured I might as well."
"That's..." Scott sighs in relief. "Yeah, that's really kind of you, thank you."
"No worries, no worries."
Oscar enters the kitchen with a flush, his gaze downwards. Scott feels his lips tug into a smile. "Oscar."
"I know, I know," he mutters. "I look stupid."
"You don't," Scott reassures him as he hugs the white bear tight. Oscar buries his face into Scott's neck and hugs back. Scott catches a whiff of fragrance as he nuzzles the nape of the bear's neck, and he murrs quietly as the smooth fur brushes against his snout. When they break apart, Oscar smiles as he twiddles his fingers. Then he spots Walt, and he petrifies on the spot.
"Oh," he stammers.
"Walt, this is Oscar," Scott gestures. The weasel looks up raises his eyebrows, surveying Oscar carefully.
"Is that..." Oscar whispers, though loudly, "Is he your..."
"No," Scott glances at the weasel, who smirks. "No, he's a mate of Tom's."
"Where d'ya keep the seasonin'?" Walt diverts as he spreads feta cheese and olives atop the salad.
"Above the oven," Scott replies. He grabs Oscar by the shoulder and gently pushes him to the living room. "Need to finish up in the kitchen. There's some kickarse MvC3 going on, though."
"Okay," Oscar nods, and he enters the drawing room. Scott watches Oscar for a long while before Walt coughs loudly.
"He your bf?" Walt asks as he puts the salad into the fridge.
"No," Scott replies faintly.
"Cute. Not me type, but cute." Walt winks at him. "Need more from me?"
"No, but thanks for making the salad. I'll finish up the rest myself."
Walt leaves the kitchen, and Scott can hear the myriad of introductions as he puts the burritos and the pizza in the oven. He sets the timer, goes over the snacks one more time, fills a carafe with water, prepares plates and cutlery and glasses, finds pop... Scott sighs and wrings his hands together as he studies the scene.
"You've done a good job," a voice calls to him from the doorway. Scott turns to face Theo - who decided to wear an informal white shirt and black trousers - who pulls him into a bearhug. "Don't fret about it."
"I didn't hear you," Scott mutters as he nuzzles Theo's chin.
"You were preoccupied. And I tried to be quiet, I wanted to surprise you." Theo kisses him gently, and Scott groans into his mouth. "There were an awful amount of shoes in the hallway."
"Yeah, we're just missing Amy," Scott licks at Theo's lips. "You were bringing someone?"
"Yes sir," Theo murrs softly as he strokes Scott's cheek. He gestures to the doorway, and Scott spots the fox with auburn fur and white patches. He looks as awkward as Oscar, but bears a shy smile instead of a frown, and his ears are perked.
"Hello," the fox waves meekly. "My name's Kato."
"Hey," Scott replies as he extends his paw. The fox grabs it with both his own.
"I didn't want to impose on your party," Kato continues, his voice a tad rocky. He, like Oscar, wears a bowtie, though his is blue to complement his white shirt and marine vest. "Only..."
"Don't worry about it," Scott starts, but they are interrupted by an outburst of laughter from the living room, which is then followed by cheers and whoops. Kato's curiosity shows on his face and he looks to Scott as though for permission. Scott merely nods, and the fox chases the commotion.
"Scott, about last night," Theo asks solemnly. "Nothing happened?"
"Nothing but a very, very long hug," Scott replies quietly. "We finished the session around eleven, and it was exhausting. It bummed Oscar out, I think, so I wanted to make sure he was okay."
Theo nods slowly and he sighs - a long, drawn-out frustrated sigh. "So everybody else is here, then? Tom and Brian and your roleplaying group?"
"Brian's not here," Scott replies, his voice steely. "I didn't invite him."
"...How come?"
"He hasn't said a word to me in the last two weeks. Whenever I see him at school, he ignores me completely. No calls or messages." Scott's expression distorts. "It's obvious he doesn't want anything to do with me."
"I didn't realise," Theo says uncertainly. He fidgets a bit, and the otherwise large bear look unusually small. "Is... Is the Oscar-fellow here too?"
"Yeah, he is." Scott looks into the drawing room, then at the kitchen table. "Could you help me carry the snacks into the drawing room?"
"Yeah, sure." Theo turns to the table and picks up two bowls of crisps. Then he stops and stares at all the bowls. "Scott, were you planning on feeding a small country?"
"I don't know what people like," Scott grumbles. "So I got a bit of everything."
"You didn't just get a bit of everything," Theo snorts. "You got everything:"
"I just want tonight to go well," Scott mutters under his breath, though his voice drowns in the clamour of the food timer. Theo walks over to the drawing room entrance.
"Listen up, everyone!" Theo bellows into the living room; the laughter goes quiet. "My wolf's prepared an excess of snacks for tonight, so some of you lot can come help me carry it into the living room."
Theo disappears through the doorway. Scott places the dish of burritos on a trivet, and then conjures the pizza cutter from the nearby drawer.
"Smells good," Duke says as he picks up sweets from the table. "You cook a lot?"
"Not too much," Scott replies as he starts slicing. "I know how to cook the stuff I like, that's about it."
"I'm sure it'll be great," Walt calls from behind Duke, and the two of them carry half of the table's contents into the drawing room. Scott nods quietly to nobody in particular, and he follows the deer and weasel out into the crowd.
Jessie, Tom, Bax and Oscar sit around the television, duking it out in a tense game of Smash Bros. Franz explains the game state to an eager and curious Kato, whose tail brushes fast and hard against the hardwood floor. Duke samples the various crisps as he and Theo talk as though they are long-time friends. Walt and Cecil are withdrawn in a corner, the weasel's grin sly and the rabbit's face shy.
"Food's ready," Scott calls, though his voice is unusually quiet. Only Franz perks up, and he is the only one to approach. He does with a warm smile.
"What'd you make?" Franz asks as he grabs Scott by the shoulder, and he guides Scott into the kitchen.
"Well," Scott gestures to the pizza and the burritos. Franz looks at the food with a strange expression, and he smiles awkwardly. "Oh, and..."
Scott fetches the salad from the fridge. "Walt made this."
"Ah, good," Franz sighs softly. "I'm sorry. Meat makes me nauseous. I didn't want to be rude."
"No, it's okay. I'm just glad I remembered to buy the necessities."
"I am too. It still looks delicious," he gestures to the pizza. "I might dare a bite later."
The doorbell rings again. Scott sighs.
"You okay?" Franz says quietly.
"I've never had this many people over at the same time," Scott replies. The doorbell rings again and Scott looks to the hallway. "I need to get the door."
"Hey, it's okay, I understand," Franz pulls Scott into a quick hug. "You're doing fine, don't worry. Talk to me if you need an ear, yeah?"
"Thanks."
"I'll tell the others food's ready, you get the door."
Scott nods, and he hurries to the door. In dusk, he finds Amy and Wally.
Wally wears a white suit with a pink tie, his brown fur carefully conditioned so it shimmers in the light of the evening sun. His silver cuff links are the shape of W's, his expression a surprisingly bright smile, his posture rigid with a guitar case in his hand. Amy, on the other hand, leaves Scott staring.
"Wow, Amy," Scott whispers. Her midnight evening dress contrasts beautifully with her white fur, a set of silver bracelets on both arms clink softly as she, too, clutches a guitar case.
"You're parroting Wally," she replies, yet she blushes ever so softly. "It means a lot, coming from you."
"Yeah, thanks for that," Wally rolls his eyes.
"Anyway, we're performing tonight at the Scarlet Haven at ten, and I'll admit to being rather tense so I thought I'd come to unwind."
"Which we could've done, just the two of us," Wally grumbles. Amy's elegant posture falls apart as she sighs.
"Oh, Wally," Amy sighs. "I'm at the cusp of fucking you just so you would stop complaining about it."
"Point is," Wally continues hotly, with an abashed grimace, "She wanted to come to this party, and she dragged me along, so here we are."
"Yeah, of course. I'm just glad you came. Both of you," Scott smiles faintly, and he welcomes them inside.
"Somebody's overdressed," Bax comments as he tugs on the bottom of his vest. The others cast their glances to the newly arrived couple, Amy an elegant, almost unknown figure as she seizes the room. Wally's impeccable rigidity is equally remarkable, Scott notes, though he is not in command of the room. Theo, halfway through a burrito, stares at Amy; so does Duke, Franz and Tom - though the otter's expression, unlike the deer and dormouse, is one of apprehension.
"Yeah, well," Amy laughs, "A few of you don't mind."
"You two..." Walt surveys them slowly. The other three gaming guests cast glances over their shoulder when one controller drops to the ground.
"Oh!" Jessie squeals, "Amelia!? And Wally too! Holy. Shit."
"It's nice being recognised, isn't it?" Amy looks at Wally, who stands uncomfortable, mumbling something which sounds like 'I guess' and 'sure'.
"We saw you two at a coffee shop a couple of weeks ago," Duke smiles as he approaches them both. "Ivory Cups?"
"Oh, Duke! I thought you looked familiar." Amy grins, and she glances at Theo. "I'll admit I was more preoccupied with Theo that day."
"Old flames and all that?" Duke - and everybody else - glances Theo's way.
"More like old fucks," Wally grunts. Theo buries his face in his paw, and the degu turns his attention to the television. "What are you guys playing?"
"Smash Bros," Bax replies. The lion's aloof face turns to the game; Oscar, equally awkward, joins his brother, while Jessie and Tom both leave the couch. Franz whispers something to Kato, and the fox anxiously, excitedly, sits down in the couch.
"Mind if I join you?" Wally asks as the couch attracts him as well. Within the minute the four of them are surrounded by the sound of mashed buttons. Amy joins Duke and Theo by the snacks table, and three becomes a crowd with Jessie, whose excitement is palpable. Only Tom looks out of place, and the otter slinks past Scott with a sullen expression.
"Tom?" Scott whispers as he follows the otter.
"It's nothing," Tom mutters. He looks up to face Scott's flat expression. "Yeah, okay, it's Amy. Just the memories. Bunch of them, actually."
"Should I ask?"
"Look, Scott, I liked Theo for a while," Tom grumbles as he flushes angrily and helps himself to a burrito. "Not like I liked Brian. Not like I like you. But..."
"You two snogged," Scott replies with a shrug. "Theo told me."
Tom looks up with a face half-relieved, half-nostalgic.
"Yeah. First kiss and everything. All 'cause of a stupid game. Amy was there that day, see, she's the one who dared Theo." Tom chomps heartily into the burrito, and he smiles meekly. "I hated those parties, but after that night I kept hoping there'd be more at our place. Or that Theo'd stay over and get off his tits. When I heard Amy was Theo's rebound... I got a bit envious."
"Should I not have invited her?" Scott asks as he starts on a slice of pizza to sate the hunger he didn't realise he had.
"Nah, don't worry about it. Just a bout of nostalgia. Fuck, these are good," he adds as he finishes the burrito. "Best you've ever made. And no, I don't resent you for being with Theo. I just had a pup's crush on him."
Scott nods and hugs the otter tight. Tom murmurs into his neck: a pleasant tune causing Scott's ear to twitch, his tail to wag.
"Best wuff," Tom whispers. Scott flushes as a warmth spreads through his chest. "I'll just help myself to another one of these fuckers."
Tom snatches two more of the tortilla-wrapped spectaculars, and the two of them return to the drawing room.
The white bear has one of the bowls of Cadbury in his lap, and he eats somewhat enthusiastically with his eyes set on the rest of the scene. "You enjoying yourself?"
"Yeah, I am," Oscar grins as Scott joins him in the adjacent chair. "I'm glad you invited me."
"I am too," Scott smiles, his hands still damp from washing up. His gaze skirts the room. Wally plays a tune to an eager Jessie and Franz, while Kato and Theo try their hand at MvC3, watched by Tom and Bax. Duke and Amy are outside on the terrace, catching up, while Walt and Cecil are nowhere to be seen. "Are you okay after yesterday?"
"It helped that I slept really well," Oscar flushes and he looks embarrassedly at Scott. He gropes for another piece of chocolate and sighs. "It's just... Duke makes me uncomfortable sometimes with his characters..."
"He made me uncomfortable too," Scott replies as he glances at the deer.
"I guess you must be sick of seeing me down all the time," Oscar sighs sadly. His mismatched eyes look everywhere but at Scott.
"A little, yeah," Scott grins meekly, as he tries to catch the bear's eyes with his own. "I like it when you smile."
The white bear flushes a little bit harder, but the corner of his lips tug into a small smile. Scott scratches his own chin as he leans forward.
"Did you beat the Demi-Fiend yet?"
"No," Oscar rolls his eyes. "RNGesus hates me. Kept myself occupied with Persona Q lately, though."
"Oh, yeah, that was released, what... last November?"
"Yep, 28th or so." Oscar shudders a bit. "It's not that difficult, to be honest. Doesn't really have the strategic elements like in Nocturne or DDS, it's more RNG that can be beaten by over-levelling. That's what I did, at least."
"How does it play?" Scott murmurs warmly, his smile not fading at all .
"Did you ever play Etrian Odyssey?"
"Looked into it, but didn't really tickle my fancy."
"Well, it's basically that but easier," Oscar shrugs. "It's fun the first time, but I might as well have replayed Nocturne."
"I should do that soon," Scott hums, as he twiddles thumbs. "Only I've got my A levels soon so most of my time is spent studying these days."
Oscar nods, his eyes locked with Scott's. "Will you be going to uni?"
"That was the plan, yeah. Would be swell to get into Oxford and all, dad studied there..." Scott snorts. "Like that would happen."
"Will you stay here, though?" Oscar says quietly. "In the area, I mean?"
"Yeah, I will. If not Oxford, it'll be Worcester or Pembroke, I think. At least if I'm going for psychology."
"I'm glad to hear that. I..." Oscar too twiddles thumbs. "I don't want you to leave."
"I don't either." Scott's gaze travels from the white bear's visage to survey the room; Theo look their way, only to shy away when his eyes meets Scott's.
"I don't think he likes me very much," Oscar mutters, having followed Scott's lead. Scott splays his ears.
"Have you two even talked yet?" Scott asks quietly as he wrings his hands.
"No. I figure he doesn't want to talk to me."
Scott frowns and his sigh is slow and exasperated. He watches Bax leave the gaming couch with phone in hand. Then he casts a glance at the clock - already half eight - and he beckons for Oscar to join him in the corner. Scott takes the opportunity to catch some fresh air, and he passes by the table whose snacks have been half-consumed. As he opens the terrace door he sees Walt enter the drawing room.
"Amy?" Scott calls. "You said you had a show at ten, it's half eight already."
"I know," she smiles, and she taps the illuminated screen of her mobile. "We'll be leaving in ten, our ride's on the way."
"I reckon Bax wants to leave soon too," Duke adds and he winks. "Me and Jess are going to go with Amy, I reckon my girl really wants to see the show."
"Right," Scott replies. He gazes up at the darkened evening clouds and lets the chill wind wash over him.
"I enjoyed myself," Duke says as he claps Scott on the shoulder. "Thanks for inviting us."
"Same," Amy winks at him, and mock-grabs at his rear. Scott pulls away with a small squeal, and the deer and mouse leave him alone on the terrace as they laugh. The solitude is broken almost immediately by Tom.
"Hey," he says with a strained smile. "Me and Walt are about to leave, promised we'd be at the Ox by nine."
"Yeah, of course," Scott says absent-mindedly. Tom tugs on his sleeve.
"You never told me why you're feeling blue," the otter mumbles. Scott looks down at Tom, who gently nuzzles at his elbow. Scott bites his lower lip and wrings his hands again.
"I... I think I'm in love with Oscar," Scott replies quietly, and his head droops. "And Theo. And ... and you too, I think. I don't know what the fuck to do."
Tom inhales slowly, heavily, only to follow with a sharp sigh. "Right. Okay."
Then the otter opens the terrace door. "Theo, you fucker, get over here."
The bear comes out into the open air with a bemused, befuddled look on his face, and he grumbles, "What?"
"Right, I'm not going to beat around the bush," Tom says firmly as he takes one step back to survey them both. "Me and Scott almost fucked in the shower earlier today, and I think we would have if the doorbell didn't interrupt us."
Theo takes a moment, his mouth twitching oddly as he stares at Tom, and then he looks at Scott.
"Yeah," Scott nods quietly. "Yeah, he's right, we would have."
"I..." Theo's expression falters into one of sad confusion. "I see."
"Here's the thing. I want Scott. I love him more than just as a friend. Been that way for some time, and fuck it if I wish I hadn't acted on it before." Tom pauses as he surveys Theo carefully. "Whatever. Scott mentioned that you fucked Amy a couple of weeks ago, which means there's either some sort of open relationship thing going on, or it was an enormous fucking drunken decision."
Theo looks away with a grimace.
"See, if it's the former? I want to fuck Scott. Pretty sure he wants the same thing," he looks at the wolf. Scott nods weakly, ashamed. "Question is, are you at all comfortable with that?"
"With you two shagging?" Theo raises an eyebrow and eyes them both warily.
"Yeah," Scott nods as his gaze dances between the bear and the otter rapidly.
"Yes or no? Tom shrugs.
"I'm not sure," Theo starts, but Tom cuts him off.
"Yes. or. No. How fucking difficult is it to answer that?"
"Okay, fine, no, I'm not comfortable with it," Theo snarls. "Jegus, I forgot how big a dick you can be."
Scott watches the anger in Theo's face, and he expects the same measure of fury in the otter's face. Instead, Tom shrugs and smiles, though not as brightly as he could've.
"Okay."
"Okay?" Theo repeats sceptically.
"Yes. Okay. You make Scott happy. I'm not going to start vying for his affections or whatever. I happen to respect you."
"I..." Theo's grimace turns apologetic, and he looks away with a modicum of shame. "Sorry for calling you a dick."
"Well, you enjoy your wolf," Tom smiles at Scott, so strangely without sadness or regret or disappointment. "I'll talk to you two later."
Then Tom leaves the two of them alone on the terrace. Theo buries his face into his paws in distress, his sighs long and frustrated.
"Theo?" Scott whimpers. The bear looks up with gritted teeth.
"When did this get so fucking complicated?" he whimpers back, resentfully. "You're scaring me, Scott. I don't want to lose you."
"I'm not going anywhere," Scott replies as he takes a step towards the bear. Theo makes no motion to copy.
"Jegus... I-I need to think about all of this. Look, I have to walk Kato home, I'll... I'll just talk to you later." Theo shakes his head and he leaves Scott alone on the terrace, wringing his hands angrily, anxiously, sadly. He watches as Tom and Walt leave, followed by Amy, Wally, Duke, Jessie and Theo. Cecil is still nowhere in sight, but he catches the attention of Oscar, who looks confused. The white bear approaches the terrace door, and Scott nods in affirmation.
"Is everything okay?" Oscar asks gently as he taps his fingertips together.
"I don't know anymore," Scott shakes his head.
"You... you can talk to me, you know," Oscar says uncertainly. Scott grimaces and sighs heavily.
"No," Scott shakes his head. "No, I just... I just want to stop thinking for once in my fucking life."
The white bear splays his miniature ears. "Um. I don't want to add to your troubles, but... I don't want to go home tonight."
Scott gazes at the white bear for a long while, into the mismatched eyes of blue and green - the same as Theo and Tom. "Why not?"
"Whenever Bax decides to get drunk, him and his mates always start drinking at our flat. And lately he's been bringing guys home too. They always wake me up." Oscar pauses for a moment before his voice grows bitter. "I hate it. All of it. Seeing Bax like that, hearing them through the walls when they start... start doing it."
The bear shifts uncomfortably and slumps his shoulders. Scott's eyes never left the bear. "You can stay here tonight. I have... we have a guest room."
Oscar looks up and he smiles, though not as brightly as he could've. "Thanks."
There's a knock on the terrace door glass. Both wolf and white bear turn to face Franz, who eyes them both with a smile. "Sorry to interrupt. Oscar, we're leaving now."
"I'm staying," Oscar replies simply. Franz nods.
"Okay. Make sure you bring him home tomorrow, safe and sound," Franz nods to Scott. "Or you must face the wrath of Bax."
"Worst film title ever," Scott replies flatly. Franz snorts, and Oscar laughs out into the night.
"Thanks for the party, Scott. G'night, you two. Have fun."
The two of them remain alone underneath the slowly emerging moonlight.
"That's all, I think," Scott yawns as he starts the dishwasher, which starts to purr and whirr softly. Oscar puts away the last bowl of chocolate, his white fur sticky with brown.
"This is why I prefer my chocolate cold," Oscar grumbles as he starts to groom his fingers. Scott watches the bear's tongue, thick and pink, as his thoughts go too far.
"Yeah, me too," Scott replies, and he stifles his sigh. The clock's hands slowly edge the tallest of the trio to midnight. "We should probably prepare your bed."
There's a moment of silence, followed by a small smile and a nod. Scott gestures for him to follow, and the two of them leave the spotless kitchen out into the hallway. When they walk past the commode, on which there several photographs, Oscar stops.
"Is that your mum?"
"Yeah," Scott replies. They look at the largest picture: his parents' wedding, with him as a pup holding his parents' hands. "I think that's fourteen years ago."
"When did she...?"
"Ten years ago now. I miss her. I've got dad, though, and we've survived 'till now." Scott sighs heavily and shakes his head with a snort. "Heh. I've lived longer now without her than with. What about your mum?"
"I haven't seen her since the divorce. She died two years ago. OD'd."
"I'm sorry to hear."
"Don't be. I never knew her. I don't care that she's dead." Oscar grimaces. "Far as I'm concerned, Bax's mum is my mother. She raised me."
The silence is cold and hard.
"Sorry," Oscar mumbles, and his head drops. "I didn't mean it like that."
"It's okay. Let's prepare your bed," Scott stifles a yawn and turns to the stairwell. Their stride is interrupted by the doorbell, their wistfulness suddenly befuddlement. Scott moves to answer the door, and finds Theo outside in the midnight.
"I couldn't just leave us like this," Theo pants as he grits his teeth. His tired eyes gaze at Scott, only to glance upwards to see the white bear. "What the hell is he doing here?"
"He needed a place to stay for the night," Scott replies. Theo's eyes grow hard.
"So you two could fuck again?" he says quietly, coldly.
"We never had sex," Scott answers, as his breathing rapidly increases.
"Yeah, right," Theo growls through gritted teeth. Scott's eyes narrow, his face lined with disappointment.
"We didn't," Scott repeats. "He felt blue, I went to comfort him, we ended up hugging and then we just... fell asleep."
"I find that hard to believe," Theo shakes his head.
"We didn't," Oscar says quietly as he approaches closer. "We kissed once. That's it."
"Which I told you about. Right after it happened. You laughed about it." Scott bites his lower lip. "What changed?"
"I'm just not comfortable with him," Theo replies bitterly as he enters the house.
"Why not?"
"Because you have feelings for him!" Theo blurts out. Scott stumbles backwards, only to be caught by Oscar. "Jegus ,Scott, we talked about this, about how we'd handle it if we found somebody else we liked or wanted to fuck, and it always boiled down to how we'd just want each other in the end! Then suddenly you almost fuck Tom in the shower? You start making out with another guy you're in love with?"
The house goes quiet. Scott doesn't breathe, his eyes fixed purely on the bear's blue. Theo's eyes are moist and wet, his mouth curled into an angry snarl, his expression one of dread.
"You're in love with me?" Oscar says slowly, shakily, the silence shattered. Scott lowers his gaze and he starts wringing his hands again.
"Well?" Theo demands, the bear's fists clenched in anger.
"Yeah," Scott says after a long while, his hands aching. "Yeah, I am. And I fucking hate it!"
With a snarl, he slams his left fist into the wall. There is a rattle of something hitting the ground. Oscar winces and whimpers, and he backs away; Theo's eyes widen and he, too, takes a step back.
"I am so fucking confused! I want both of you, okay!? 'Cause I'm happy when I visit you," Scott's growl slowly breaks apart. "I want to spend my nights at your place, sleep with you, tell you how fucking_proud_ I am of you because you deal with my irrational shit all the time, tell you how you're the best thing that ever happened to me."
Scott turns to Oscar, and the white bear almost trips over his own feet. "I want you too. I want to fucking snog you, and hug you. Tell you that you're the most... you're the most gorgeous bear I've ever met, and that you're wonderful, and funny, and you make me smile. You're so much better than you think you are, and worth so much more_than you think you are! I _hate it because there's this fucking_voice_ in my head screaming at me, all the _fucking time_that I'm supposed to be ashamed about this, tells me that I'm _wrong_to feel this way!"
Scott slams his other fist into the wall . The pain renders his hands numb, and he gazes down at his throbbing fingers, wondering where the pain went. He wipes his face, a trail of dew dangling from his fingertips.
"Scott?" Oscar whimpers, planted on the spot with a quiet tremble in his voice.
"You should go home," Scott replies calmly, still like water. "Both of you."
"Scott, I..." Theo voices, his voice cracking. Scott shakes his head, and looks at neither of them.
"Just go."
Only the shuffle of shoes, and jackets, and the occasional sniffle from one or both bears - Scott can't tell - which sounds in the dead silence. When the two bears are on the edge of crossing the doorstep, Theo's voice calls - quiet and distant. "Love you, Scott."
Scott counts to ten before he locks the door. He stops by the commode on his way upstairs, and picks up the two fallen photographs - his parents' wedding photo, the frame and glass still intact; and a photo of himself and his mother, years ago when he was a sickly cub. He puts the pictures back to where they stood previously.
With no feeling whatsoever in his hands, Scott goes upstairs to find his bed.