#12: NITRO interviews BANJO and KAZOOIE

Story by Silver Teh Coyote on SoFurry

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#1 of Furry Fan Interviews! Season 2 (2015)

Happy 2015 and Welcome to Season 2! Fiesta is absent this episode due to being at Further Confusion. The torch is passed to Nitro again as he interviews two of Silver's puphood icons. Will the country dog and country bear get along? We learn that fortune cookies result in strange sayings, Silver can't spell or finish schoolyard rhymes, Grunty can't stop rhyming, and that pop culture references can't be ignored. Also, will Kazooie ever shut up?


SILVER: Happy new year, everyfur!

ANIRO: You kept saying that at the Lake Area Furry Friends' New Year's Eve Con!

SILVER: Yush but this is the first time I have said it in the studio! :3

ANIRO: Dog.

NITRO: So who will be interviewing today, Silver?

SILVER: Not sure, but I know it won't be me. Kataze is the one to decide.

KATAZE: That is ABSOTIVELY POSILUTELY correct, Silver! And since the coyote here is so brain good-

(Everyone but Kataze and Silver let out a snort of laughter.)

SILVER: Bless you!

KATAZE: -he will be the one to pick out a name from the top hat!

ERIK: Isn't that Alkali's?

KATAZE: He won't notice.

(Meanwhile, at the Sheraton Brookfield...)

ALKALI BISMUTH: Okay, Fur Squared check list! Sponsor goodie bags filled with cheap crap...check! Restraining order...check! Top hat...WHAT THE FU-

(And now back to the show)

KATAZE: Go ahead and pick, Silver.

(Silver rummages around the top hat with his right paw, pulls out a white strip of paper, and reads it in front of his muzzle.)

SILVER: "Confucius say, within the next two weeks, you will find three missing socks. Learn Chinese! Skun-"

KATAZE: OTHER side, Silver.

SILVER: Oh. My bad.

(Silver flips the paper over and reads. Again.)

SILVER: "Nitro Huskie"

NITRO: Oh, okay! And here I thought I wouldn't be next!

KATAZE: But you are, because you're awesome!

ANIRO: Hey...where's Fiesta?

SILVER: He's at Further Confusion.

ANIRO: With his mate?

NITRO: Yepp, probably.

TOMMYFOX (singing): Fiesta and his mate, at FC!

SILVER (chiming in): K-I-F-F-O-N-G!

ANIRO: There were two words that you could have almost spelled but failed miserably, you stupid dog!

SILVER: Or was it E-I-E-I-O?

ANIRO: No, it's D-E-R-P-D-O-G!

ZIGGO: Hey guys, we're on soon, and I can't even.

TOMMYFOX: Corgi can't even!

ZIGGO (laughing): Short stubby legs!

(Banjo enters the room)

BANJO: Guh-HUH! Err...what's going on? Am I being interviewed yet?

NITRO: Hey, I know you! You're from that vehicle building game on Xbox 360!

(Silver's eye twitches)

TOMMYFOX: INTERVENTION!

(Aniro and Tommyfox pin Silver to the wall as Silver says many words not fit for print.)

BANJO: We don't talk about that game. It don't exist.

SILVER: Thank you! Sorry, Banjo, just any mention of that game drives me nuts. BIG fan, by the way. Your games on the Nintendo 64 were one of the best things of my puppy days!

BANJO: Much obliged!

NITRO: Oh.

SILVER: It's not your fault, man. You didn't know.

NITRO: Yeah it don't matter. But I'm not much of a Nintendo fan, Kataze, so maybe this isn't for me.

ERIK: Well, Silver and I grew up with those games, so we can write the questions to give you on cards.

NITRO: Okay, cool.

SILVER: Way ahead of ya, Erik!

(Silver hands Nitro some cards.)

NITRO: Thanks, buddy!

SILVER: No problem!

ZIGGO: Wait, what's in the backpack, Banjo?

(Kazooie pops out of the backpack)

KAZOOIE: Say that again!

NITRO: That again.

KAZOOIE: Oh, you're a clever dog, aren't you?

NITRO: Yepp.

KAZOOIE: Right, then! Let's get to the interview, curly!

BANJO: Kazooie!

NITRO: Okay. Silver, you know how to use a GoPro, right?

(Nitro hands Silver his GoPro sitting on a table)

SILVER: Well, it's already recording so I guess I just hold it like one of those things on a submarine.

NITRO: Pretty much, yeah. You know what to do.

SILVER: Yup.

(Silver exits through a door labled "audience".)

ZIGGO: You're on in five.

NITRO: Alright, let's go.

(Nitro, Banjo, and Kazooie exit to the stage.)

ANIRO: Anyone have something to say?

ERIK: No.

ZIGGO: No.

KATAZE: I'm a skunk. I have a stripe that makes me go fast.

(Nitro, Banjo, and Kazooie walk on to the stage.)

NITRO: Happy new year, everyfur! And welcome to Season Two! This is the twelfth episode of Furry Fan Interviews. Today we have Banjo and Kazooie from the popular game series on Nintendo-

(the audience cheers)

NITRO: And Xbox.

(A glass bottle is thrown at Nitro but he dodges it.)

NITRO: Who threw that?!

ANNOYING WOLF: That game SUCKED!

SILVER: Testify!

NITRO: Whatever. You guys should know the rules by now. No hoomans allowed here. Got that?

GRUNTILDA: This stupid bear should not be here, I'll fill his puny mind with fear!

NITRO: That was pretty bad, hooman.

GRUNTILDA: I can't help rhyming all the time, it keeps my skin a vivid lime!

NITRO: That don't make sense. Goodbye.

(Nitro pushes a button on a remote in his hand that teleports Grunty out of the theater.)

NITRO: That was pretty harmless. I kinda like that. Anyways, first question, and it's for Banjo: Who are your parents?

BANJO: Well...I don't really know. I've been looking after my little sister, Tooty, ever since I can remember.

KAZOOIE: And he kinda sucks at it.

BANJO: Kazooie!!

KAZOOIE: Okay, it was ONE TIME that Tooty got kidnapped by the witch Gruntilda and we had to go through her lair to save her.

NITRO: Was she the one I just-

BANJO: Yup.

NITRO: Oh okay. Next question, and this is for Kazooie. How is it being in that backpack?

KAZOOIE: I hate it! My feathers get all ruffled, and it really stinks when this lug FARTS from time to time!

(Nitro laughs)

NITRO: Then you'd better stay away from me! :3

KAZOOIE: Obviously!

NITRO: That was fun. Anyways, final question, and it's for Banjo.

KAZOOIE: Why do I only get one?! And weren't there four questions last interview?

NITRO: Budget cuts.

KAZOOIE: That doesn't make any-

NITRO: What happened to Tooty after the first game?

BANJO: She ended up living with my aunt and uncle after the events that happened in the first game. They thought that I wasn't capable of taking care of her after she got kidnapped by Gruntilda.

NITRO: Oh I'm sorry to hear that. Audience question time. Seat 22.

RIGBY (from REGULAR SHOW): What was the deal with the Ice Key?

KAZOOIE: It was supposed to be transferred to Banjo-Tooie along with the mystery eggs. Everyone who is a fan of our games should know that by now.

NITRO: Seat 47.

SONIC: What was your least favorite level in the games?

BANJO: Err...that's a tough one. Hmm. I'd have to go with Clanker's Cavern in the first game. As a bear, I was totally out of my element of the outdoors, and it was nasty. At least Rusty Bucket Bay was outside mostly.

KAZOOIE: I HATED freeing that stupid shark. We almost drowned! But I'd have to go with Grunty Industries in the second game. It was BIG, LONG, and those stupid Tintops wouldn't stop re-spawning no matter how many Grenade Eggs I coughed up at them!

NITRO: Last one. Seat 95.

LUCARIO: How good would you say you are as a fighter?

BANJO: Not that good. Definitely not Smash Brothers material. I mean, I learned all my skills from a mole.

BOTTLES: Hey!

JAMJARS: Didn't like our training sessions, punk?!

KAZOOIE: Nope.

BANJO: Kazooie!

BOTTLES: I know where you live, you cheeky bird!

NITRO: Well, that's all the time we have! What a way to kick off the new season! Be sure to come back next time for lucky 13!

(Later, backstage...)

NITRO: So, you live in the country?

BANJO: I guess you could say that.

NITRO: That's cool! I'm a country dog myself.

KAZOOIE: Oh, great...another one.

SILVER: Think you'll hang out with him, Nitro?

NITRO: Maybe.

ANIRO: Happy t-

SILVER: Wait! Nothing weird has happened yet!

ERIK: He's right.

ANIRO: Did the stupid dog just become Genre Savvy?!

SILVER: Possibly.

ZIGGO: Maybe it's good nothing weird has happened after the show for once. Hardly any pop culture references either-

(Everyone suddenly starts dancing to Uptown Funk out of nowhere)

TOMMYFOX: I didn't do it!

NITRO: Grr yes you did.

SILVER: He's a fox.

ZIGGO: HAPPY TAILS.

-END-