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#4 of In the life after (2)
I switched off the lights as I sighed and curled up on my bed. Whatever that white tiger told me earlier... was intriguing. To be honest I never expected myself to open up to him... But when he told me about himself... I felt like I could connect with him. Words flowed out of my muzzle before I realised it. For some reason it just felt right. Normally I would probably be panicking or something like that but what happened was nothing like that. In fact I felt the weight lifting off my chest. Perhaps I have bottled too many emotions within myself. It was reliving but scary at the same time. I never thought anyone would actually understand how I felt, not even Jo. Yeah, he might have known almost everything about me, but to actually empathise and feel the same way was a whole new level of understanding... something that Jo would probably never get to.
Perhaps my life would change for the better after finding Jin. It was a new hope in my life as I felt less... lonely. It wasn't as though Jo did nothing to my life, but this was just... different. I closed my eyes and willed myself to sleep. Thinking too much never had a good ending. Better get some rest for school...
-
It had been two weeks since things happened and Jo was still lifeless without his usual cheer. Jin seemed to be waiting for me to do something, but I had no clue what. My patience was kind of running short at the lack of progress. Food was only that much useful to distract the grey wolf. I told myself enough was enough and wanted to talk with Jo alone despite the white tiger's protests.
"Jo, please," I begged as I dragged him to the space underneath the bridge after school. The grey wolf was pretty reluctant to be alone with me, but screw that. I pushed him and he fell to the floor, blinking in wonder. I hate it that my best friend has now become no more than a useless rag. He had obviously lost weight and it pained me to see the grey wolf defeated like that. I shoved my cast at him. "Touch it," I demanded. Jo's eyes shot up to look at me, but I just glared back at him, "Well? Do it." Jo looked away and said, "You're being ridiculous."
"Am I?" I growled, "Why not appease me? Or are you afraid of it?"
I brought my arm closer and it triggered him to push me away, making me wince at the pressure on the cast. "Hey!" he yelled as he pushed me, making me fall on the ground. "T-this is pointless," the grey wolf said, reaching out for his bag but decided against it to look at me.
I only glared at him, feeling the rage boiling up. I don't have the best temper against such situations and Jo's attitude was only making it worse. "My best friend had been gone for weeks," I said through gritted teeth. Jo clenched his fist in response, "You don't understand."
I brought myself up to stand and screamed at him, "Well maybe I don't! But at least you would not treat me as though I was DEAD! You said it hurt when I left as a best friend and now you do this to ME? How is this fair to me?"
"You don't understand how it is to be useless and helpless," he said in a trembling voice while looking down, "All these muscles and brains can't even do shit. So I'm just gonna give you and Jin more space. That is all."
"You're doing it wrong," I growled, "So you think tossing me to someone else is going to relieve your guilt? Irresponsible."
"You!" Jo bared his fangs, finally showing some form of fight, "Don't do this."
"Oh yeah?" I sneered, "So you're just gonna be a snivelling pup, running away from me?"
I could feel the grey wolf below me itching to fight. I tried my best to play the bad guy; so long as it works in bringing life back to Jo I would do it. Jo looked unsure and lost, but for some reason the best way to relieve all that stress builds up within him was to hop into the water. I could only watch in fear and bewilderment as he tossed himself right into the water. I was praying that he didn't hit any rocks, after all the river was shallow.
He surfaced and stood up, shaking off all that water and tossed his belongings aside on shore. He came over and slumped against the concrete, looking at me. "I don't know what to do anymore," he whispered. I sighed and took his very wet paw, "Come back," I said, "Just fight back and live on. I'm your best friend. Don't just leave like that."
Jo nodded while I fished out my own phone to text Jin to bring some clothes for Jo. I was so relieved when the next thing the grey wolf said, "River's pretty cool. Wanna hop in too?"
I was already knee deep into the waters when the confused white tiger finally appeared with a raised eyebrow. He sort of gave me a look of disapproval, but sighed and handed the towel to Jo. His striped tail cracked like a whip, "Head over to my place first, it's just across this bridge," he said simply before turning around to head off. It wasn't as though his tone was angry, but I still felt a little bad after getting caught sneaking into the river. Jo and I looked at each other before we followed the white tiger back to his house.
Half way on the bridge, Jin kicked a pebble and turned back. He came over to us and draped his left arm over Jo's shoulder. That was when I noticed the grey wolf had been shivering slightly from the wind. I wasn't as tall as them, so I settled by wrapping my arms around the grey wolf's waist on the other side. We walked in a single row, trying to keep our Jo as warm as possible. Jin and I had our clothes slightly soaked, but if it's for Jo...
We kept silent while we walked over until I gawked at the gates of the impressive house we were about to enter. It was unlike all the other houses around, it was simply... stunning, kind of like a designer house. I looked over and found Jo just as shocked as I was. We knew Jin was kind of a rich guy, but...
The white tiger didn't seem to notice anything and half dragged us into the house. Jin and I let go of Jo since the wind was not as strong anymore. "What were you thinking?" Jin finally said, tossing the keys into a bowl while gesturing the sofa for me to sit. I avoided getting my wet areas on the sofa somehow and sat down. Jin followed and sat beside me, still looking at Jo for answers. Jo scrubbed himself with the now wet towel for a while then held it there. "I... just needed some way to vent out all that energy," Jo said, "I couldn't think of anything, so..."
Jin simply gave a face palm, shaking his head. My tail went slightly rigid as I felt something foreign curling itself against my tail. "You should get yourself cleaned up before you catch a cold," Jin stated, "There's a bathroom next to the kitchen, towels are on the racks, there's some all fur shampoo in there too. Go on. I'll get some clothes for you." Jo simply nodded and headed off. I was very sure I didn't sit on anything that crawls on my tail, so...
"He's always a bit of a surprise, isn't he?" the large white tiger said, slapping his knees, about to stand, "I'll get some clothes then... Typh?" I swivelled my ears, unsure how to go about say it. "Er, there's something on my tail...?" I coughed. Jin blinked in confusion, leaning back to see what was wrong. He let out a soft 'eep', jumping slightly and pulling my tail along. As I expected, the unknown odd sensation turned out to be... his tail. I dared myself to turn back and found a furry black white appendage wrapping itself snugly against mine. Jin quickly used his paws to untangle our tails while blushing evidently under the white fur. Once done he muttered a soft 'sorry' and half ran to his room, ears splayed down. I was no feline, so I didn't know what was that supposed to mean, but judging from his expression I guess it had to be something really embarrassing.
Jin took longer than I expected, but he eventually came back, changing into a simple singlet and pants. I couldn't help but notice the white tiger's large striped arms. I don't know why but... I just stared. Don't get me wrong, Jin is actually an attractive man. I just never looked at him that way before. I've always how a meaty bicep would be like to touch with that soft fur...
I looked away, slightly ashamed of what I was thinking. The cat just said that he might not be really into me. I shouldn't be looking at him like that. Just when I thought it would stop there, Jo decided to step out with nothing but a towel covering waist down. My eyes widen as I saw my best friend, slightly damp from the steam and half naked. Jo might have lost a little weight, but he was still sporting an impressive body shape for a wolf. I bit my lip as I secretly wish the knot on the towel to just unravel and fall...
I wanted to slap myself and luckily Jo quickly took the dry clothes from the white tiger and slipped back into the bathroom, calling out a brief thanks. The white tiger came over and sat beside me, this time holding on to his own tail. It was quite awkward while we waited for Jo to finish. "L-look," he broke the silence after a while, "That must have been weird to you, I hope you don't mind..."
"It's fine," I said quickly, "Although... does a cat's tail behave like that all the time? What does it mean?" The white tiger scratched his head, probably thinking of the best way of explaining that curious little feline gesture. But Jo stepped back into the room before I could hear his answer. The shirt Jo wore was a little oversized. The grey wolf parked himself on the seat adjacent to us, looking more relaxed than ever.
"Feeling better?" Jin asked with a smile of relief, "Great to see you back."
Jo covered his eyes with one of his forearm. "Yeah," the grey wolf said softly, "Sorry. Must have been hard on you guys. I still feel like shit, but... Typh is right. I can't do without a purpose. I'm not really sure how to go from here, but I can't be a jerk in the meantime."
Jin looked at me, either surprised or impressed by the sudden change that I brought to Jo. I simply shrugged in response. There was a little spark in the tiger's light blue eyes; it was something that I couldn't describe. He seemed to catch me looking at him, so I quickly looked away to avoid suspicion. Now's not the time for such things anyway.
-
Ever since then things have gotten much better. Of course, Jo was never the same again. I don't expect him to, and it was way better than his dead self. I finally got my cast out of the way and we were pretty much just preparing for the nationals.
All these while, Jo still hanged out around with Jin and I but I was slowly becoming grouped up with the tiger rather than the wolf. I don't know how but it just happened like that. I guess Jin and I had more to share with each other. The white tiger never explained the tail thingy, and I had no time to do the research.
It was more often that Jin asked me out rather than Jo. I was slightly disturbed by Jo's lack of enthusiasm but I guess we just can't be the best friends like before. In return I got a white tiger who seemed really happy to go out with me. It wasn't like we were all out partying, but just hanging out and talking... kind of what I would have done with Jo. The more Jin and I talked, the stronger the connection forged. He was like another version of me, and we were honest to each other, no matter how embarrassing the things we had done in our lives.
According to him, Jo has been working out doubly hard in the gym for some reason. Some of the things about Jo, the grey wolf won't tell me personally anymore. There was this... feeling of a looming shadow hovering around Jo that kept the grey wolf slightly distant. Jin also noticed it, but no matter how we've tried, it was still there. I guess it was now up to Jo to relief himself from the shadow. I could only hope that Jo doesn't do anything drastic, considering his nature. Jin convinced me that it would go away in time, but deep down we both know that stepping out from the past might be... impossible.
As time passed, we only got busier and stayed in school for longer hours. At least Jo still hung out with us, so we could easily keep an eye on him. It was nothing special, just hours and hours of studies. It was almost a routine, but slowly and surely, we stepped into the exam hall, competing for our future.
-
After the nationals, things got way more relaxing. At least Jo would pop out more often than before. But since it took a while before the results came out, the three of us decided to work at a local bookstore, just to pass the time... Jin never needed that extra money anyway.
One day, I was watching the both of them lift the boxes of books, a fresh batch that came in earlier. I was glad that I had the two of them to work with me. There was no way I could move everything without their muscles. I took a pen knife and rip the cardboard carefully, before taking them out to display on the shelf. Jo decided to do the other shelf, leaving the big cat with me. As we packed the books with our backs facing each other, I lifted a copy of a book that read Guide to Feline Behaviour, and I was immediately reminded of Jin's tail which was currently rubbing against my fur.
"You know," I said while I resumed packing, "I don't remember you telling me what your tail language was. You think this book would have it?"
I watched the striped tail puff up in surprise and the large tiger behind me yelped, having to drop a book on his foot. "W-what?" he asked weakly. I finished packing up the books and took one copy of the guide. I used a claw and nicked softly against the plastic wrapper. I figured I would need a display copy for the guide anyway, so no harm done. I unwrapped the guide and started flipping the pages. I could sense that Jin was getting nervous as his striped tail wrapped around him defensively.
I muttered as I ran along the pages, looking for tiger tails. I reached the chapter about tigers, reading silently to myself. ...white is one of the recessive coat colour for tigers, usually having light blue eyes as a result... blah blah, common knowledge to everyone. I scanned through further and my finger rested on the tail section.
Like many other fur species, tails are used to identify the mood of the individual. Some would be able to focus and control their tails as they grow up, but they usually don't when they are relaxed. The rest would have their tails acting as though they have a mind on its own. A tiger's tail movement are very sensitive to the mood and desires of the individual. Below are some examples of a tiger's tail movement and their meanings.
I read out loud, hoping to get confirmation from the white tiger. Jin didn't argue or anything, so I supposed the guide was right so far. "When the tail roll and unrolls against itself, it means that the tiger is in deep thought," I relayed from the book moving my finger along until I found a similar description, "And when a tiger's tail wraps around another person, it is usually a sign of possession or affection, a gesture more common between couples than with family or friends."
I caught up with myself as I realised what I was saying, muting my muzzle from continuing any further. I looked up to find Jin fiddling with the tip of his tail, shy from what I just read. I felt myself blushing too as I coughed and closed the book. It was awkward and I read it out loud. I didn't know how to respond to what I just found. I never knew that Jin had any form of affection with me, and usually you don't confess to someone using your tail.
"I- I don't know why it happened," Jin said softly, still unable to meet me in the eyes, "But... it is what the book suggests. I... don't really lie well with my tail."
I heard a box drop to my right. I turned to see Jo quickly picking up the books. I wanted to walk over to help the grey wolf but Jo managed to pick up everything before I reached. "I'm fine here," the grey wolf said with a slightly forced smile. Jo moved to put the books back into the stores, leaving me with the equally confused cat. I looked at Jin who came over and placed his large white paws on my shoulders. "I think let's talk about it next time," he said, "We still have to work."
I nodded, still unsure what all that meant for Jin and I. I could feel his tail bumping against me as he suddenly swooped down for a peck on my cheek. He barely gave me time to react as he swiftly picked up the empty boxes and left me watching his broad back, barely hiding the celebratory fist pump.