Amatsu Loses Everything
The sequel to the story Amatsu Finds His Mate.
It was unnaturally quiet in that hospital waiting room. With how late at night it was, the digital clock on the wall brightly displaying 4:25 am, he was unsurprised that there was no one else in the room around him. However, in a way, the silence made it so much worse for him. He had brought Belladonna to the hospital six hours ago when she complained of frequent contractions, and while they had been driving her water had broken in his car, drenching the leather upholstery of his 1960 Thunderbird Convertible. He didn't really care about that, since he could always replace the seat at the worst, and at the least he had gotten a towel on the liquid before bringing Belladonna into the hospital. They had allowed him to stay in the delivery room until his mate had suddenly slackened while pushing, and her heart rate had spiked upward. When that happened, the doctors had begun shouting orders to one another, and a nurse in a bright blue uniform had pulled him by the arm out of the room. She had sat him down in the chair he now occupied, assuring him that they would do everything they could, and that there was no need to have him stay there when he would only be frantic, and if his mate did regain consciousness that his franticness could negatively affect her in the delivery. So he waited, and waited, each glance at the clock only yielding a few moments passing. It felt like time was crawling past, and he had still not heard anything from anyone in the last half hour. His hands stroked back over his furred muzzle and head, the Wolf sighing as he looked unseeingly at the television in the corner of the room. It was turned to the news, but an ad for Eharmony had sprung up once the broadcast had gone to commercial. Amatsu's golden eyes narrowed, and he turned away from the television in disgust. His movement seemed to draw the attention of the nurse behind the desk, who after noticing his behavior raised the remote and clicked the channel to the Food Network. Amatsu smiled his thanks, though the movement felt unnatural, and it ended up looking like a friendly scowl more than anything else. He felt hollow, his heart beating so quickly in his chest as he imagined what was happening to his mate.
He swallowed, his throat feeling incredibly dry all of a sudden. He stood and walked over to the water cooler, grabbing one of the small Dixie paper cups and pouring himself a glass. He raised the cup to his lips, noticing that his paw was shaking as he did so. He took a swallow of the water, noting out of the corner of his eye the shadow of a person walking up behind him. He finished his water and dropped the cup, steeling his nerves before he turned to face the newcomer. It was the Doctor, a tall black stallion wrapped in a white lab coat that somehow managed to conceal the muscular flesh beneath. If Amatsu had been harboring any tiny shred of hope, it quickly died when the Lupine looked into the Doctor's eyes. It was all there: The sadness, the pity, the inner questioning of how he would deliver the news. Amatsu bit his lip, though he didn't let himself cry. Not there, not now. He had been raised in a household where showing one's feelings was looked down upon, and so he kept himself composed as he cleared his throat.
"Doctor." The word came out surprisingly calmly, the Lupine male silently priding himself on keeping his voice steady.
"Mr. Ookami." The other male replied, his deep voice filled with the heaviness of the news he was about to deliver. "This is....always my least favorite part of the job."
Amatsu chuckled weakly at that. "I would be worried if you took joy in it, Doc."
The Stallion smiled weakly, but the motion soon died as he crossed his arms behind him. "I am afraid..there was a complication. It appears that due to the petite nature of your mate's body, the strain of the continual hours of labor caused miss Belladonna to enter cardiac arrest. Despite our best efforts to resuscitate her, all of our efforts have proved fruitless."
Amatsu closed his eyes, turning away from the doctor to gaze out the front window, where the formerly clear night sky had turned dark and cloudy, a flash of lightning illuminating the waiting room as rain pounded the windows. "So...she is gone then, isn't she?"
The doctor nodded, though Amatsu would not see the movement. "I am afraid so. We did all we could, but in the end she passed on. I am sorry for your loss."
Amatsu swallowed once more, his voice slightly shaky as he asked the next question, the answer to which he feared the most. "A...And the pups?"
"I am afraid they did not make it either."
Amatsu nodded numbly at that. Of course that was how it was. His ears flattened against the top of his head, his tail hanging low and lifeless behind him. "I see."
"Would you like to see her before we prepare her for...for burial?" The Doctor asked gently, his large hand gently resting on the Wolf's shoulder.
"Yes..I would like that." Amatsu said softly, turning away from the window, a second flash of lightning illuminating half of his face.
The walk towards the room seemed to take an eternity, Amatsu's feet feeling as if they were encased in cement. His heart beat slowly in his chest, the male feeling that familiar sinking feeling as he approached the door. This would be the last time he would see his beloved. Memories of their times together, all of the happy smiles they had shared together flashing across his mind. The doctor gently pushed open the door, but made no move to enter the room.
"I will let you have some privacy with her. Feel free to take your time. Come out when you are ready." With that, the doctor walked away to go deal with his other clients, leaving Amatsu standing in front of the open door. The Lupine swallowed again, clearing his throat before taking slow, tentative steps into the room, quietly approaching the bed. The only sound in the room were his quiet footsteps, and the quiet squeak of the rolling chair as he gently seated himself beside the bed. He gazed upon his mate's still form, the Cheshire's once mirth filled eyes now closed in her eternal sleep. Her hands were crossed over her stomach, and she looked peaceful. He reached out a shaking hand to gently stroke her cheek, the flesh feeling cool against his own. His muzzle quivered, and the first of his tears slid down his cheek. He inhaled quietly, and he reached down to gently take her hand in his. He raised the cold limb up to his own cheek, tear after tear dripping down his furred cheek to the tile floor below. "Oh Bella..." He murmured, his chest heaving with deep sobs as he closed his eyes.
He couldn't bring himself to say anything more. It was over. When he had finally found her once more, after all those years of separation, he had allowed himself to foolishly believe that the chance for his happy ever after had come. But the proof to the contrary was now laying before him. His beloved was gone, as were the children that they had so painstakingly tried to conceive. His dreams of happiness were as dead as his mate before him. It was a soul crushing revelation, and all he could do was let the tears fall. In the end they would do nothing for him though. The heaviness would always be with him, the emptiness in his heart brought about by her absence would be profound from now on. Even returning to their home, the house that they had bought together and had spent so many nights laying side by side in would be like a fresh wound each time he looked upon it. He stood slowly up after a while, the male returning her hand to her stomach before gently pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Goodbye...my dearest." He whispered as he turned away from the bed, unable to bear the sight of her lifeless form anymore. He walked slowly toward the door, each step seeming to be harder and harder to take. And when he reached the door he stopped, his hand resting gently on the frame of it as he turned to look back once more. The light above her illuminated her face, giving her an almost angelic glow. That is what she is now. He thought to himself, smiling through the tears. His hand moved to his own heart, then his lips, the male blowing her one last kiss. Then, turning away, he headed out of the room.
He didn't recall finishing the paperwork, the entire ordeal seeming to have been accomplished on auto pilot. The last thing he remembered doing in the hospital was pulling his trench coat over his shoulders, turning up his collar before walking out into the stormy night. The rain was cold, but he didn't feel it. With how numb he currently felt, he could have walked through a blizzard and not have felt a thing. He walked to his car, stopping at the passenger side to gaze into the empty vehicle. He sighed, his tears indistinguishable from the rain as he moved to unlock the door and slid into the driver's seat, pulling it closed once his legs were both inside. He leaned back into the leather seat, his hands resting on his lap, and he made no move to start the ignition, the key still hanging clenched loosely in his hand. The rain flowed down his windshield, the droplets mirroring the tears that continued to flow down his cheeks. He wiped his eyes on his sleeve, trying to stem the tears while he pushed the key into the ignition. His movements were slow, as if he was hoping that any moment now the doctor would burst out of the front door of the hospital and tell him that Belladonna had come back. But the front doors remained closed, and no one came out. With a gentle roar the engine came to life, a casual flick of his left wrist causing the headlights to come blazing to life. His right hand moved down to the shifter, pulling it from park to reverse as he looked out of his rear window while the car slowly moved backward. Once he was out of his stall, he switched gears to drive, and without so much as a second glance in his rear view mirror he drove off into the rain.