Mass Retard Effect -Day 3-
#2 of Mass Retard Effect: Days of Future Dumbasses
Shephard, or Sheppy needs a PC, now, it's time to get one.... but, a foe will return....
-Day 3-
Shephard groaned as he was quik-revived by Ellis. But who's Ellis? "Who the fuk r u?" Shephard says to Ellis while smacking him with his thumb. "Well, my name's Ellis, and I like horses." Shephard looked away from the idiot sitting before him, only to see that bitch from 'White Chicks' sitting by a toaster, which had jammed itself up a washing machine's ass. Shephard then looked to the left to see that egotastical jerk-off known as the computer. "Good morning fat ass. It's been a month, and you haven't updated shit, you human penis." Shephard realized that the jack-off was correct, so he ran to the computer, but wait it was gone! Snephard screamed like a little girl. "I gotta find a computa, and quik!" Shephard then ran to the ship's cockpit, and saw jack, the cripple guy that makes all cripples think they can do anything, steering the ship. "Jack, steer the ship to the nearest planet with a computa!" Shephard yelled, then he slapped Jack's ass and ran off.
-1 hour later-
Shephard was looking all over the planet Reach for a good computer, but he only found useless stuff like rare ForeRunner artifacts, Elite armor, Energy Swords and Tanks. Sheppy cried out Bullshit, but it seems like his luck wasn't out yet! He saw a tent, and in that tent was Master Cheif, the man who saved the galaxy 4 times (not counting the other four HD times in the Master Cheif Collection) watching.... Lesbian Mexican Migets Having Sex in a Shoe, using a sock as a sheet. "ewww" Shephard said before going to face the Cheif once again. Cheif looked at Shephard, and they just stared at each other for twenty minutes. Finally Cheif got up, saying "Did yah..... miss me?" Before grabbing the Computa and running to a near by 'go kart' (it was mario's) and just when he was about to take it, Francis from L4D came around yelling "BUMPER CARS!" while smacking Cheif and Sheppy in the face, causing mini explosions. Cheif ran to the nearest ship, and jumped on it. "See yah later!" He yelled at Shephard before escaping with the PC while clearing it's search history. "Darn" Shephard said before walking away. (wait, shit, i went over my budget, plz enjoy dis intermission!)
"Yo Dawg, you Herd 'bout dat shit on da fah- hizzle yo?" Said Black Guy 1. "Hell yea Nig, that white bowye got himselve hit by a speedin car yo! Herd he was carryin some 2.50 Dawg!" Yelled Black Guy 2. "Shit dawg, that's Mcadeee's money right der!" "hola!" Black Guy 1 shouted. "Hollllaaaaaaa!" Black Guy 2 yells. "Man shut cho ass up!" (end of itermission)
Shephard was walking away sadly and slowly, until he saw a pink tricycle. He smiled, jumped on it, reved it up, and started pettling so fast, that the tricycle started to fly. "Shit, i'm far behind, i need to catch up." A burrito full of every type of indian and mexican food in flew up into the sky from Chipotle. Sheppy caught it, and ate it. He immediately began to shit uncontrolabley, until he started flying faster, and faster! He was almost to the Cheif. Hopefully he makes it before the Mexican food kicks in.