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There's a certain wonder to waking up in your boyfriend's arms, feeling his soft breath on your neck, his strong, fuzzy arms wrapped around you, and his tons of sleeping bags and pillows cradling you like a child. Seriously, thousands of sleeping bags and pillows? Ted's smarter than he looks.

Unfortunately, as with all couples, there's problems. The number one problem is Alex, who's been acting grumpy and cranky lately, and everyone knows why but he denies that's the reason. Today we find out the partial truth to this!

"My parents are staying in Europe for the whole year."

"Wait, what?" [Ted]

"Okay, weren't they already doing that?" [Me]

"Yes, but they were gonna come home for Thanksgiving and Christmas and I'd get to see them, but they can't! They said they don't have the money to come back for even one trip, so I'm stuck here all year!"

"Dude, that really sucks." [Me]

"You think."

"Well, come on! I'm sure my parents would let you stay for Thanksgiving and Christmas, probably Easter, too." [Ted]

"Dude, you're dad's a homophobe, and isn't there like no sensibility to your holiday schedule?"

"Okay- first, I already told my dad I'm in a relationship with Seth, and he's perfectly okay with it. Second, Christmas is the one that everyone agrees on, and Thanksgiving is just an American tradition. It's not like I'm bringing you home for the festival of Ptah, anyways." [Ted]

"The festival of p-tah?" [Me]

"Yeah, he's the god of artisans and such. Seriously, I'm appalled by your knowledge of Egyptian Mythology." [Ted]

"Dude, no one other than your mom believes in egyptian mythology! How do you even keep track of those holidays?" [Alex]

"Dude, it's just natural to me. How do you keep track of your birthday?" [Ted]

"Eh, still kinda weird." [Me]

"Cute weird?"

"Yeah..."

"I hate both of you." [Alex]

"Seriously, though. The twenty ninth was a big deal in ancient egypt, so it's not a bad place to be." [Ted]

"Why?" [Me]

"Because it's the festivals of the Sailing of Bast and the Raising of the Willow. Duh."

"You're really weird." [Alex]

"Yeah, I think I'm good with just celebrating Christmas, if you don't mind." [Me]

"Fine. Seriously, though, you guys should come over for Thanksgiving, we have a huge party, and our friends from dad's church come over, and mom's historian buddies come over, and my sister's gonna home from college with her boyfriend, and my brother's gonna be there with a few of his friends from his school, and it'll be great!" [Ted]

"That sounds crowded." [Alex]

"We have a big house. You know, Seth. Your family could probably come over too, check out some of the houses for sale in the neighborhood?"

"I guess. I don't know, though. Thanksgivings a long ways off, we've still got one last day until school starts, so I'm just thinking about that." [Me]

"Fine... It'd be super cool though."

"Wait, you have a brother?" [Me]

"Yeah, he's like a year younger than me, and wasn't stumbling into problems last year."

"What kind of problems?" [Alex]

"I... Was getting bullied for hanging out with gays and stuff. I didn't really care, but it freaked out my family."

"That seems like what's going on right now." [Me]

"That happens to be why my parents are worried. I just won't let them find out about the bullying. But, there is another thing to the bullying that I know won't happen here."

"What's that?" [Alex]

"I... I... Don't wanna talk about it. It's kind of something that's embarrasing and... I'm just not gonna explain."

"We're supposed to be in a relationship, so you should be able to trust me." [Me]

"Dude, you guys just think each other are cute." [Alex]

"True." [Ted]

"Probably not reason enough." [Me]

"No, it's not. So stop acting like you're madly in love with each other." [Alex]

"Yeah yeah yeah, so why won't you tell us?" [Me]

"Because it's awful! I just... Shut up." He spun around on his heel and went into his room, slamming the door behind him.

"What's his deal?" [Me]

"Well, we'd know if he didn't think it was so embarrasing." [Alex]

"I bet a gay guy had a crush on him."

"No, he probably used a glory hole on his brother or something."

"What-... You're sick!"

"Heh heh heh, that'd be embarrasing enough."

"You're disturbed."

"Oh come on! You were thinking it too!"

"I wouldn't have said it, though."

"Still thought about it."

"Shut up."

"Make me."

"I would, but you'd enjoy it too much." I turned around and went into my room, closing the door behind me. The day went on pretty normally, from there. We played video games, had dinner with the other guys, and the day ended with me in my own bed, starring at the ceiling, trying to fall asleep.

In the two days of general uneventfulness, I'd developed a small fear. Okay, it was a big one, and it fucking terrified me, but still. I had started thinking about school, and how every day we're gonna have to say the pledge of allegiance. Which you're supposed to take your hat off for, and even though I had gotten my beany back, I still found it really terrifying that everyone would see these god damned pentagrams on Monday morning.

You may not entirely understand what it's like to have people hate you for something you can't change. It's a lot more difficult to live with than you'd think. Instead of fearing people will bully you, you start to fear that they'll be afraid of you. Or at least in my case. I've had people both fear me and hate me, and it never ends well. It always ends in something dumb and stupid happening that keeps me from being myself and trying my hardest to be normal so that people don't hate me.

And hate doesn't mean, general aversion towards, I mean LOATHE. People LOATHE me. Their first thought when they look at me is, "Oh, look at that freak! He's got pentagrams running up and down his body! He deserves to be treated like shit for displaying such a satanic symbol to the public!" My first thought when I see other people is, "Please don't hate me." Obviously the latter doesn't ever happen.

This is part of the reason I trust Alex and Ted so much. I couldn't bring myself to do something that make them angry at me because... They have a weapon. They know I just want someone to care about me, someone to see me as more than a freak, a nut job, see me as more than the satanist that I'm not... And I know that if I did something to ruin them, they'd use it against me, and that's what scares me most. Is losing one of the few people on this earth who actually trust me, and god knows why they would in the first place.