FSE

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After having my butt handed to me at Halo, which I guess I kinda deserved for bluffing about my skills, we decided to go get some dinner. I knocked on Ted's door, and heard him slam a drawer shut.

"Uh, come in!" I opened the door and enterred to see him sitting at the desk doing... nothing. "So, what's up?"

"I'm not even gonna bother asking what you were doing. We're gonna go get dinner, you wanna come or are you too depressed to do that?"

"No, I can come. Just let me put stuff away first."

"There's nothing out."

"No, but I'm... sorting."

"That's a partial lie. Whatever, I'll leave you to your stuff." I turned around and walked out the door. Alex was sitting on the couch waiting for us.

"He gonna come out soon?"

"He said he was "sorting" stuff."

"Ah. Probably porn."

"His computer wasn't on."

"Oh."

"... That was your first thought-"

"I told you I had perverted seccrets."

"Like what? A foot fetish?" He just starred at me, wide eyed. "You're kidding."

"Shut up!"

"Hey, I won't judge. Just tell me I won't wake up to you licking my feet."

"No. You know, unless you were gay and were my boyfriend, but-"

"That's not gonna happen."

"I know..."

"Not until I decide."

"Decide what?"

"Ted got me thinking. I've never been in a relationship, either. I don't know whether or not I'm gay or straight, but I'm supposed to be straight so I say I'm straight."

"Wait, so you're bi, too?"

"No. I'm just... I never really paid attention to what people look like or thought of them like that. I didn't ever hit that point because I never had friends to be jealous of them when they were in relationships and I wasn't."

"Wait, so you don't know either?" [Ted]

"Oh, you ready to go?" [Alex]

"No, not until he explains why he just said-"

"Yeah, I don't know. I can't even begin to fathom what's so great about sex." [Me]

"You haven't jacked off, I presume." [Alex]

"Alex. Just stop. Please, for the love of god-" [Ted]

"I'm athiest."

"We don't want the birds and the bees preached to us by a gay guy." [Me]

"I wasn't gonna talk about the birds and the bees."

"And you won't." [Ted]

"I was gonna talk about the joyous feeling of getting dicked." Alex just burst out laughing at his own joke, and me and Ted turned around and casually walked out the door.

Alex caught up to us in a heartbeat and followed us down the hall. It was like seven at night, so it was getting kinda dark. I did notice Alex getting a little closer to me when we got outside. We went by a few of the guys from our dorm, who stopped us dead.

"Did you guys ever find the dorm?"

"Wait, you've been out here since two?" [Ted]

"Yeah! We can't find the damn dorm!"

"Just... Oh my god. That's pathetic. It's right over there! You only had eight possible options, and I'm sure you could've figured out the difference between the girl's dorms and the guy's dorms." [Me]

"Shut up, satanist."

"They're natural."

"Oh. Wait, really?"

"Yup. Actually, follow me. I need to grab something anyways. Go on without me guys." I turned around and the five other guys from our dorm followed me back to the hall. I went into the dorm room and grabbed a beanie and some gloves off my desk. I wasn't gonna live through interrogation. I caught up to Ted and Alex about ten minutes later.

"Hey!"

"Hey- woah. Dude. It's like sixty degrees out, why are you wearing gloves?" [Alex]

"Because I have glowing red pentagrams permanently stuck to my skin underneath the gloves. Why else would I wear gloves and a beanie at the beginning of summer?"

"Oh. You look cuter without them." We gave Alex a look, and he blushed. "Oh god, I said that out loud, didn't I?"

"Yeah... What about me? Do I look cute?" [Ted]

"Leave me alone. It's not funny."

"Hey, Alex. We don't hold it against you." [Me]

"No, but it's not okay. I feel awkward, as if everyone who looks at me judges me and hates me. I can't stand it." We enterred the cafeteria to see it was only half full. It had a lot of balconies and terraces, so it was pretty big. We went through the line and each got three slices of pizza, then wandered aimlessly until the three of us felt safely tucked away form society up above the two main terraces.

"So, what exactly were you doing when I went in there?" [Me]

"Oh. Nothing." [Ted]

"Liar." [Alex]

"So what. You lied about having more secrets."

"Wait, what?" [Alex]

"Yeah, I over heard you guys when I first went into my room. You're afraid of the dark."

Alex pushed his pizza out of the way buried his head in his arms. "Why am I such a failure?"

"You aren't a failure, Alex." [Me]

"Yeah, a lot of guys are afraid of something. Take me for example, I'm fucking terrified of rape and murder." [Ted]

"But... That... That doesn't count." [Me]

Alex pulled his head out of his arms, "How does that not count?"

"Everyone's afraid of those. That'd be like saying I like breathing. Everyone likes breathing." [Me]

"Not everyone's afraid of murder. What about criminals?" [Ted]

"But... Wait. You didn't mean getting raped or murdered?" [Alex]

"No. I can't stand the thought that I might become such a horrible person that I could do something like that. Sure, I'm terrified of criminals in general, but the thought of how easy it is to become one is scary."

"Okay. We have issues. You're a gay who's afraid of the dark, you're a bi who's terrified of his own potential, and I'm a sarcastic, synical person naturally tattoed with pentagrams. Wonderful. We're gonna get along great because we're the only people who even remotely understand the emotional pain we go through." [Me]

"Woah." [Alex]

"Good thing we got roomed together, I suppose." [Ted]

"Good thing we didn't get roomed with any of the jocks." [Me]

"Did you seriously just call them jocks?" [Alex]

"Yeah, I did."

"Huh. It sounds like an eighties word, but it really isn't."

"I know, right?"

"So... Do you have a third controller?" [Ted]

"Yeah. You any good at Halo?" [Alex]

"Sorta."

"You're on Seth's team."

"Oh, like that was even in question." [Me]

"It was." [Alex]

"Why do we need teams?" [Ted]

"He no scoped me from half way across the map. Headshot, too." [Me]

"So?"

"With a magnum."

"Ha ha ha... That was fun." [Alex]

"Dude, how much Halo have you played?" [Ted]

"A lot." [Alex]

"More than is naturally possible." [Me]

"Hey! Being gay is called unnatural sometimes."

"Are you seriously admitting to breaking the rules of the time space continuum to get better at Halo?"

"Wow, I'm sorry, but you, are a nerd." [Ted]

"I never denied it."

"Yes, I am. To be specific, though, I had a talk with a time traveller, he said he'd seen the future of anthros. Something about how we all become two different species." [Alex]

"Ah, it's already begun. I'm a ferfuskifolf." They dropped dead silent, totally confused.

"It's a joke. Like how fox and a wolf is a folf and fox and a husky is fusky. Well, a ferret and a fusky is a ferfusky. A ferfusky with a folf is a ferfuskifolf."

"Dude, you're a mutt." [Alex]

"I know, and it's got some serious side effects."

"Like what?" [Ted]

"Oh, well, I'm like immune to most major diseases."

"That's a good thing." [Alex]

"A said serious, not bad. Although, my fur is way softer than it should be. Apparently. I can't tell."

Alex reached over and petted my arm, "Woah... It is. Dude, that's awesome."

"You don't have otter in there." [Ted]

"Yeah, well, "offerfuskifolf" doesn't roll of the tongue easy anyways." [Me]

"Dude, your fur is so soft..." [Alex]

"Okay, you can stop petting my arm now." I pulled my arm away and he went back to eating.

"Wait, I just realized something." [Ted]

"What?" [Me]

"So, you're gay, right?"

"Yeah." [Alex]

"So you understand what a girl likes, right?"

"Are you suggesting that I give you guys advice on dating?"

"And getting the girl."

"Cool, I'm in. But only if you love them. Doing it just for make out action isn't morally acceptable."

"So, wait. Just because you're a gay guy you think you understand girls?" [Me]

"Yeah. Girls look for someone who's willing to show their emotions but still be strong and supportive enough to be a shining beacon of hope at the end of the day."

"Fuck, what?" [Ted]

"Yeah. You didn't think girls were as two dimensional as guys usually are, right?"

"Yeah, sorta." [Me]

"To a degree." [Ted]

"They're not. If anything they're a thousand times more complicated." [Alex]

"What if I want a guy, though?" [Ted]

"Same thing, if he's gay. If he's straight, you're fucked. Possibly literally."

"Ew, what?" [Me]

"Yeah. Personally a guy could top a gay guy and still be considered straight as long as he didn't have any romantic feelings for said gay guy."

"So, basically if I wanna get dicked-" [Ted]

"You've got the write hall."

"That's disgusting." [Me]

"Why? It's just sex talk. Other guys talk about straight sex all the time."

"Well, yeah, but..."

"But what?" [Ted]

"i... I have no argument."

"Yeah, I don't see why we have to treat gay jokes and straight jokes any differently. They're just as vulgar." [Alex]

"But of course you feel that way. I mean, you're gay." [Me]

"True. But still. Would you think it'd be fair if mutts were treated differently than non-mutts?"

"No. That's ridiculous."

"Exactly. So why should gays be treated differently than straight guys?"

"That is a good point. I mean, my cousin's a dragon- he's adopted- and he's had times where people treat him differently just because he isn't furred, or because he has wings, or his ears are different, and so on indefinitely. It doesn't matter if you're actually part of the group that's treated differently, you just need to recognize that it's wrong." [Ted]

"Well, yeah, but my point was that you're gay. Of course you're going to feel that way." [Me]

"Oh yeah, no duh. Of course I am." [Alex]

"Yeah, I knew it was wrong, it's just... I'm not ever comfortable around... talk."

"Really?" [Ted]

"Yeah, it's gross. Who wants to sit around and talk about sex? That's weird. That'd be like talking to someone about jacking off."

"Okay. I won't judge." [Alex]

"But that's actually kind of weird." [Ted]

"I know, but still. I don't like inuendo or even really thinking about... that." [Me]

"You're not even letting yourself say the word." [Ted]

"Yeah. I know. Cause I think it's a gross word."

"But... fear of the name only increases fear of the thing itself."

"Wait, why does that sound familiar?" [Alex]

"Because he's quoting Harry Potter." [Me]

"Oh. I thought it sounded biblical."

"... No." [Ted]

"Not at all." [Me]

"But... It sounds so prophetic and wise." [Alex]

"Have you seen Harry Potter? Hermonie was pretty damn wise in that movie." [Ted]

"Well, I've heard of them. I haven't actually seen them. Or read the books."

"That's so sad." [Me]

"It's like you've been denied a basic right as a human to have not read or seen any of the Harry Potter movies!" [Ted]

"My parents never liked the idea of magic. What do you expect?" [Alex]

"For you to have gone to a friend's house and lived like a normal anthro." [Ted]

"So what, they're just movies."

"They're.... No. We are going to watch those this year whether you like it or not." [Me]

"Okay. I didn't know it was such a big deal."

"Because you never saw the first one."

"The first two are the best, though." [Ted]

"Oh yeah. The director change gave the whole thing an increasingly dark vibe." [Me]

"Huh. You guys wanna go back to the dorm? I'm done eating." [Alex]

"Yeah, sure." [Me]

"Surprisingly good food." [Ted]

"Yeah." We got up and through away the empty plates. We got back to the dorms at around eight, and got stopped in the hall by people crowding around something. A few guys were standing off to the side avoiding it. I recognized them from the third group earlier when Chad had made us find our own way back.

"What are they doing?" [Ted]

"They're playing gay chicken. It'd be a less weird if they weren't half naked." The pink and cyan folf from earlier seemed a little disturbed by the scene.

"Heh, yeah." [Ted]

"So, you guys aren't like them?" [Alex]

"I guess Braden wouldn't want people to know he got roomed with us. They might call him a fag or something." I hadn't really paid attention before, but now realized there were twins. Black and white fuskies, even their eyes wouldn't give us a hint as to who we were talking to.

"Wait, you're the gays that Braden's roomed with?" [Me]

"Oh, so he did tell you. I bet he said it was our idea for them not to wear shirts, right?"

"Yeah. Was it not?" [Alex]

"Of course not. He's an idiotic jock bent on making people think he's all that, which he isn't."

"Finally, someone who shares my burning hatred for jocks." The four guys just looked at me with a bit of astonishment. I must've said something amazing.

"Uh... You guys wouldn't happen to have xbox, would you?" [Alex]