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- Chapter 8: LEAVING -

"B... Bolt!? Is that you!?"

Bolt glanced to the side, his muzzle still tightly pressed against Benji's. What he saw next made his heart jump and his ears perk up in surprise.

Right there on the pier, he could see a familiar cat and hamster staring at them. Mittens and Rhino were just as shocked. In the countless of ways Mittens had imagine their reunion to play out, finding her best friend smooching a stranger dog - especially a boy dog - was never one.

With a yelp, Bolt flew off Benji, an expression of "Sorry!" on his face. Bolt in turn just stared at Mittens and Rhino, some drool still hanging from his muzzle. However, his startled expression quickly morphed into a wide smile when he realized who he was looking at.

"Mittens! Rhino!" Overcome by sudden joy, he pounced his two friends, drawing both hamster and cat into the closest thing to a group hug the three feral animals could manage.

Benji just watched the reunion from the background, equally confused and surprised. Perhaps most surprising was how completely oblivious Bolt seemed to the obvious awkwardness of being caught kissing.

"Where the frickin' hell have you been?" Mittens asked after managing to wriggle out from Bolt's hug.

"And who's the stranger?" Rhino pointed towards the black Labrador.

"Well I'd say it's a long story but it's actually rather simple. I was delayed. Rhino, Mittens, meet Benji!" Bolt waved his paw in Benji's direction who produced an awkward smile and raised a paw.

• "Ehm hi!"

"Is that the trailing intruder you said was stalking us?" "Did you attack our Bolt, stranger?" the hamster demanded to know as he turned to Benji who was so taken aback by the little rodent's energy he backed away, but Bolt got between them.

"Easy, Rhino. He didn't attack me. He's a friend!"

"Actually, he sort of attached me" Benji added.

"But I must know. " Bolt continued. "Why did you leave with the transport vehicle? Why didn't you wait?"

"Because we did! Mittens countered. "Christ, you silly dog, we didn't leave you! What did you think that me and Rhino just went on to try to find Penny for ourselves or that just really felt like seeing this crappy city."

"But..." Bolt started, but Mittens continued.

"If you wouldn't have been so busy chasing after that train - that we weren't even ON - then you would have seen us waiting at the station. We saw your paw tracks the next morning, following the rails and figured you must have set off to Missouri. We figured you probably managed to catch that train and was waiting for us there, so we took the next one. We didn't realize you'd be stupid enough to try to walk there!"

• "So you've been waiting here all this time?"

• "Yes!"

• "Oh..."

"Well, we had some complications" Bolt admitted. "Mostly involving a river. In fact, If it wasn't for Benji" he turned to the black Labrador besides him; "well I would have never gotten here".

Mittens pushed pass him and laid a discerning eye on the black Labrador who was just sitting next to Bolt, looking uncertain.

"What's a 'Benji?'"

"I'm err" Benji was caught off guard by the strident feline. "I just wanted to make sure your friend got here safe"

• "All the way from Missouri. For a dog you just met?"

"Mhm". The Labrador cleared his throat, once again feeling a little intimidated.

Mittens looked him over with a not entirely convinced look. It was in her nature to be skeptical about things, especially random strangers helping clueless animals they don't know while claiming it's all in good faith. Even more so when the clueless animal in question is Bolt, the irrefutably most gullible, susceptible dog on earth with the streetsmarts of a purse dog.

"Well! Any friend of Bolt The Superdog is a friend of mine!" The hamster raced into view, greeting the canine stranger with an extended rodent paw which Benji politely shook, although wondering why all animals insisted on doing the weird handshake thing these days.

"Got any special abilities? Combat training? Genetically heightened senses?" the hamster squeaked excitedly. "Personally I'm a master of stealth. Everyone in this team has some superpower. We haven't figured out Mittens power yet, but I'm sure we will soon"

-"Well I huh..." Benji leaned over and whispered to Bolt; "Is he also from your show?" Bolt just chuckled.

"Welp. I suppose I should thank you kind stranger, for babysitting our incompetent dog here"

"Oh it was nothing. He was quite independent most of the time"

"It'd really be a shame to take up more of your time, then" Mittens forced a smile. "I suppose you'd best be on your way?"

Once again, Benji was taken aback. "I... well..."

• "Actually, he's coming with us" Once again, Bolt intervened on his friend's behalf, but his voice was notability decisive. "His persons are lost. Just like mine. And they live in Hollywood too. He'll follow us there and we'll look for them together!"

-"And what happens when we find his family? We say our goodbyes and he'll be on his way?"

Bolt and Benji looked at each other, none of them having quite thought about what would happen after they found Benji's family.

"I suppose so." Benji finally said.

Bolt looked like he was about to say something but stopped himself.

"Good! Just checking that we're all on the same page here. Anyway! I suppose we better get going!"

...

Benji had never seen a city this large before. Nothing but glass and concrete as far as his eyes could see, rushing cars and streets buzzing with pedestrians. However, he had never really seen many cities. His family lived out on the farm, and that farm was most of everything he ever saw.

The cat, that "Mittens", had decided they should stay clear from all sidewalks, streets and walkways where humans might hang-out. Their team - now consisting of two dogs, one cat and a hamster - would cause unwanted attention, the cat had argued, and for once, Benji was inclined to agree. Still, this precaution meant that they had to do most of their traveling by night in places humans weren't likely to see them, which right now happened to be an abandoned construction site near what looked like a giant metal arch. Bolt and Rhino had both agreed that it looked an improvised gateway portal, and Mittens had muttered something about pretentious human expressionism. Benji just thought it looked like an arch and not anything else.

Aside from a busy highway stretching past them, and a park a bit further away, there really wasn't much else than dirt-piles, metal beams and various machines with dirty tracks. He wouldn't have stopped to look at the curious machines but the cat had decided they should march on and so they did.

He didn't like her. Mittens. He could since that she'd be nothing but problem. Benji had realized a long time ago that he didn't much care for his family, wherever they might be. In fact, as he walked there with Bolt, he realized that he couldn't care less. He hated them. They had dropped him in that shelter. They didn't care.

Finding his family was just an excuse. An excuse he once felt that he needed, but now realized he never even did from the beginning. So he'll just tell Bolt the truth; that his family could go and die for all he cared, that he wants to stay with him, regardless of where he goes. Tell him that he just lied about his family moving to Hollywood, then it was just one big, needlessly complicated charade he fabricated because he was too cowardly to say something very simple. That he loves him.

Surely Bolt would understand. Or would he?

But then he remembered how the cat had practically cross-examined him back on the pier, making him feel that his little charade was some dirty secret. The delusional cat probably thought he was trying to take advantage of Bolt. Sure, he might have lied a little bit about wanting to find his family, but that's hardly the same as taking advantage of someone.

But what would Bolt think? Would he feel tricked, taken advantaged of? Would he perhaps side with the cat? And how much did Bolt really like him? To Benji, that kiss had been something special. To Bolt, it could just have been a way to express his friendship. He didn't seem to think much of it when they were caught.

Benji looked over to Bolt who was walking in front of him, seemingly engaged in some kind of discussion with Rhino. Benji desperately wish he could just look at the white shepherd and know exactly what was going on inside that head - what he was thinking and feeling.

...

A few blocks later, Bolt's keen nose had picked up the scent of food - something none of them had seen any off in a good while. Except that the food in question had turned out to be dumpster behind a restaurant but none of the animals felt too picky.

Benji had kicked over a garbage can and was currently in the process of nosing through its contents of semi-eatable garbage when Mittens walked up to him.

• "Hey dog. We need to talk."

Benji looked up from the assortment of half-ate cheeseburgers, old fruit thrown-away fries

, a banana peel still hanging from his muzzle.

"We need to talk about him", she pointed at Bolt who was sitting a bit further away with Rhino, studying the waffle map and looking confused.

"I'm sure they'll figure out where we are eventually" Benji shrugged and continued devouring the trash in front of him.

"I'm not worried about getting lost. I'm worried about you and him. Bolt seems to think that you're best friends or whatever - but I don't think friends should be lying to each other".

-"Lying?" Benji looked up at the cat, shocked by the sudden accusation. "What do you mean lying?"

• "It just seems a shocking coincidence that your family lives in Hollywood - the exact same city you knew that Bolt was headed. Awfully convenient, right?" She gave a sardonic smile, carefully studying his reactions.

  • "So what?"

• "So... I've been around long enough to know that things aren't just convenient. Bolt would believe just about anything - but you can't accept my to buy that crap. You just lied about your family so he'd let you follow.

• "And why would I do that, cat?" Benji stared deviously at the feline. If he had disliked the cat before, he was beginning to dislike her even more now.

• "You tell me... dog"

• "Alright, enough! Believe your phony conspiracy theories if you want. But my folks are in Hollywood and that's the only reason I'm here right now. Bolt is great and all, but this isn't about him. And I don't lie. Ever. The second we'll get to LA, we'll part ways and you don't have to freaking see me again!"

He regretted his words the second he said them. He didn't want to split up in Hollywood. He had no family there. He'd starve to death. But he couldn't let Mittens know.

• "That's probably for the best, too", the tuxedo cat continued. "Because me and Bolt actually talked a bit about you, and he really doesn't feel comfortable bringing this up with you, but he was kind of worried you wouldn't be able to let go. Worried you'd drag us down. He really wants to find his Penny, you know."

• "He said that?" Benji's felt as though someone has taken his heart and replaced him with a two ton rock.

• "Yeah, he was worried you'd have some sort of illusions about the extent of your relationship." Mittens smiled to herself, but tried to suppress it. This was just too easy. "But since we're on the same page about Hollywood, I'll tell him there's no problem".

• "I can tell him that himself" Benji sulked up. A part pf him still couldn't believe Benji would say that about him.

• "You really shouldn't. He would want to know we had this conversation. And you know, he's really going through a lot right now. I know you care about him. Last thing we should do is create a bunch of new complications right?"

• ".Right." Benji nodded. He sat there, sulking, looking into the collection of garbage in front of him until the cat had left. He had lost his appetite completely. Not even those cheeseburgers looked edible anymore.

He looked up and saw Mittens talking to Bolt and Rhino now. They all smiled. Bolt laughed. They looked like such a trio - friends since before he had even met Bolt. He didn't fit in. Nobody seemed to notice that he was sitting by himself.

He suddenly realized that Mittens had been right all along. He didn't fit in here. Somehow, he had thought that Bolt's love for him would earn him a place in this gang - in whatever home they were heading towards.

So he had tricked himself into thinking that what he had with Bolt was special. But what was it really? A few cuddle sessions. An interrupted kiss. Heck, Benji wasn't even sure Bolt knew what love was. To him, Benji was just another friend he picked up on the way. The rest had been his own projections.

Having lost his appetite, Benji decided to find some place to sleep.

...

Bolt saw Benji leave behind some dumpsters, all by himself. He couldn't quite put his paw on it but something seemed kind of off. "So what did you and Benji talk about?" he asked Mittens.

• "Oh nothing really. He just said he really missed his family and so. Emotional stuff mostly. You know me. Not too good with that stuff" Mittens smiled.

• "Emotional stuff?" Bolt raised an eyebrow.

• "Is that so shocking? You're missing your Penny. You know how it feels."

• "Well, he doesn't talk a lot about them". Bolt seemed confused. He didn't know why, but somehow he had almost forgotten about them.

• "Of course not, Bolt. Being abandoned is something heavy. Most people keep that inside. Trust me. And you know, all the better that you're helping him find his family then, right?"

"Yeah, right". Bolt nodded and gave a half-forced smile, but on the inside he felt ambivalent. Sure, he was happy that he was helping Benji find his family and all. Yet the thought made him feel oddly sad.

He considered asking Mittens about it, but decided it was best not to, and instead returned to investigating the map with Rhino.

...

The rest few days were long and slow, but somehow went by anyway. There wasn't much talking in the group and Bolt had noticed that Benji seemed particularly silent.

It made Bolt feel odd. The Labrador was usually pretty talkative, but now he mostly just sulked along and Bolt's attempts to start conversations were usually returned with a simple "hmm" or "okay" or "I dunno". It made him wonder if he's done something wrong.

Whenever an animal behaved in a way Bolt didn't quite understand, he would turn to Mittens. The cat seemed to know a whole lot about the world, even dogs, so that's what he did now as well. But Mittens just said that Benji needed personal space.

So Bolt had done just that. Given him personal space.

But as the days went on without any change, the confused shepherd grew increasingly convinced that he'd done something wrong.

Bolt didn't really consider himself a very smart dog, in fact since he had gotten lose he'd done a lot of things that were embarrassing just to think about. So in his mind, there was certainly a possibility that he had done something to cause Benji's behavior.

Maybe it something to with the way they had muzzled back at the pier. But he couldn't remember any protests. He did have to rescue him a few times. And then it was the thing about his family. Bolt must have been very inconsiderate, because he had never really sensed Benji's sadness - even though it must have been there all the time.

But that only proves how little he actually knew about this new world. And about his friends. Bolt almost felt surprised he had any. So Bolt decided to keep a polite distance from Benji. The last thing he wanted was to lose another one - and if Benji need some time on his own - the least Bolt could do was to grant him that.

...

As time went on - Benji found it harder and harder to even talk to any of the other animals - even Bolt whom he couldn't quite bare talking to knowing that he thought of him. Bolt had started keeping his distance as well. Even Rhino seemed to be quieter than usual. He liked the little hamster, even though he rarely understood half of what the little rodent was talking about, he still enjoyed talking to him. But lately, even the hamster seemed to have become more quite, as if picking up on the general gloominess of the bunch. Only Mittens seemed to be in a good mood - for whatever reason.

Occasionally, when Mittens would deem it safe, they would carlift with some unknowing pickup driver. And it often involved catching up with the pickup as it was pulling off and getting onboard. And last time they had done that, Benji had almost been left behind.

Bolt had grabbed Rhino in his mouth (a practice that had become even more awkward since Rhino had lost his ball) and then helped Mittens onboard. But Benji had straggled behind. He finally managed to jump onboard, without help or much acknowledgement from Bolt, and it had made him felt pretty left out. It all enforced what he already knew deep inside - nobody really wanted him there, and it made the sad dog even sadder.

When Bolt had walked up to him that night to check that he was fine after the incident, he had shied away, overwhelmed by shame and sadness. The last thing he wanted now was the shepherd's false sympathies. Bolt had simply gone back to the others, without saying anything else. When Benji looked over his shoulder, the shepherd seemed just as sad as he was. At least so he thought.

As everyday got worse, and as they walked further and further, Benji knew he couldn't go on like this. He didn't know exactly how California looked, or where it was, but he knew from what little he had seen from the map and heard from Mittens that they were getting really close.

Soon he'd be on his own again. In a new city. Even bigger and more strange than Missouri, than Kansas, than any place he'd been forced to spend alone. He'd be just as lost as the day his old family had left him at the pound.

It was then he realized what he had to do. So as the other three animals were snoozing in the truck that served as their sleeping spot for that night, Benji decided to sneak off. To leave one and for all.

If he left now, he could probably follow the highway and find his way back. With some luck, he'd make it all the way back to Kansas. Perhaps he'd even return to the pound. At least there was food and warmth there. But he had to do it now. There was nothing for him in Hollywood, and soon he wouldn't be able to find his way back anymore.

He tiptoed (as well as one can with paws) past the animals, careful not to wake anyone up.

Especially not Bolt. Benji couldn't bare telling Bolt about it. He decided it was easier this way. It's be easier for everyone that he did it now - when nobody would notice. Just thinking about it created a lump right in his throat. But he couldn't let his emotions get the best of him know. So instead, he swallowed and walked on.

When he reached a hill, he took a last look back at the white dog snoozing in the moonshine, under a star-filled night sky, not unlike the one when he had first lied eyes on Bolt that night many days ago, his fur glowing in that typical special way. He'd never forget that glow, or how soft the fur had felt.

He'd never forget the dog who - even though it didn't last, and even though it was all based on a lie - at least made him _feel_that he was loved. And then he left, quietly down the hill, in the middle of the night.

...

Mittens blinked herself awake. Through her sleep-drunken eyes, she could barely distinguish the shape of something black leaving over the hill. She blinked a few times and could confirm, with clearer vision, that what she had expected to happen was happening. She could see Benji leave.

She didn't get up - just lied there quietly watching him leave. This was for the best, she told herself, - the best for Bolt. The best for her. Probably the best for Benji too. She smiled to herself. She was doing Bolt a favor after all.