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"Good day, Lady Haelgia..." Erin said, bowing deeply from the waist. "I believe you... requested my services for a night? What is it I may do for you?"

The tall woman standing in front of him grinned lewdly, and reached up to begin unbuttoning her blouse, her hands drifting slowly downwards... "Why, this, of course..."

And before the fantasy could progress any farther, a sharp pain dug into Erin's right leg and he gasped and lurched to the side, barely avoiding colliding with his end table. He growled, and carefully extracted his own claws from his calf, wincing and hissing in pain as he reopened a few old wounds. His light blue fur was now tinted a metallic red, and he could already see some of it beginning to stick together. A small hole in his boxers made him frown in annoyance before he stood, and grabbed the neatly folded pair of khakis sitting at his side, fairly shoving them onto his legs and ignoring the already noticeable dark spots of red starting to spread a little.

Erin turned around, surveying his small room with indifferent eyes, checking to make sure nothing had changed since last night. He'd begun noticing a few months ago that occasionally, when he woke, things had moved around his room. Clothes left on the floor had been neatly folded and placed back in his drawer, papers strewn across his desk had been organized and placed into neat piles. The stained mirror hanging on the back of his door had been cleaned so thouroughly that although there were still smudges, Erin could see his reflection without trying to stare through a series of small water stains.

Speaking of... Erin thought he looked like shit. His normally bright green eyes were bloodshot, and his fur was starting to get a bit lanky from being unwashed for multiple days. Erin attempted a light sniff, and immediately decided against doing so again. He shook his head in annoyance and headed for his door, quietly opening it and slipping into the hallway. There was a stack of books right by his door, the topmost being A History of the Far Realms, which was an outdated copy and currently waiting to be donated to a library.

He sidled down the short hallway, glancing sidelong at his room-mates door before shaking his head and sliding into the bathroom before he could lose his cool. The sink was a bit dirty, a toothbrush thrown haphazardly onto the side of it and leaning precariously over the edge, and the toothpaste and brush piled ontop of each other. Erin rescued the toothbrush, and grabbed the toothpaste, sighing at the almost empty tube as he quickly spread some of it onto his toothbrush and began vigorously brushing at his dirty teeth. He'd woken up this morning and gagged at the smell of his own breath.

He'd decided that today would be the day he'd clean up and go outside again. His roomie had knocked on the door a few times when he'd started secluding himself in his room at the beginning of the break, and a few friends had called him, but he'd ignored everything. He glanced at his face in the mirror, and grunted quietly.

He wasn't bad looking, really. He wasn't in the best of shapes right now, and he badly needed a good scrubbing, but when he was clean, he was rather handsome. He knew it, the girls at school knew it. Everyone in his life knew it. It still took him a lot of effort to admit it to himself though. His fur was a light blue, with the intermittent stripes of black spread around his face serving only to highlight their almost luminosity. His eyes, while not usually noticeable, were a bright gray color, that he'd had a few of those trying to flirt with him tell him reminded them of storm clouds.

He was a little chubby, admittedly, but the definition he did have served to make the pudge, in his mind, look even better. No distended belly, but there wasn't a six pack down there. His arms were defined, and his shoulders broad. All in all, he was, despite all his self confidence (or lack thereof), handsome enough to really get whomever he wanted.

Unfortunately, he was running into a few issues with that. The foremost being that, despite the very rigid and strict way he had been brought up by his parents, he was discovering that he may have enjoyed the company of males more than females. He had been out at lunch with a few of his friends when one of their companions had asked how long he'd been gay.

Erin wasn't exactly ecstatic about the question, and had proceeded to defend himself from the imagined slight, but the question had sparked his imagination, and made him realize the probably truth. Throughout his long life, he had never once gone out with someone. His most erotic fantasies had always focused more on the men involved in them than the women, and when he really got down to it, female anatomy was a complete and utter turn-off for him.

Erin hissed again as he jammed his toothrbush too hard into his soft gums, and he quickly spat and rinsed his mouth, snarling at the blood that was revealed in his spit. He quickly tore off his pants, and then his boxers, turned the shower on as cold as he could manage it to get, and stepped in, suppressing a yowl.

A short time later, he was feeling at least moderately better as he sat at the breakfast table eating a small bowl of cereal. His feelings were still conflicted, and now that he'd actually scrubbed at the self-inflicted wounds on his leg, his entire leg was throbbing unpleasantly, and they were smarting underneath his loose pants. He'd taken the time to wrap them up in one of the bandages he'd found in his medicine cabinet, however, so they were no longer leaking blood into the fabric of his pants.

There was a sound of books crashing into the floor, and a quiet curse echoed down the hall behind him, and Erin quickly turned around and glanced curiously. His room-mate, Tek, was quickly stacking the books by his door back up, and Erin wondered why he was down the hall by Erin's door in the first place. Tek turned around after he'd stacked all the books back up, and froze as he caught Erin staring at him, blinking quickly before reaching a hand up to brush the back of his neck and turning his snout to the side in embarrassment.

"I was.. uhh, just checking on you mate. Didn't know you were already out..." He said, before quickly heading back to his own room and shutting the door. Erin watched him go the entire way, and raised his eyebrows curiously before returning to his cereal. A few minutes later, as he was placing his bowl gently into the sink, Erin heard the shower in Tek's room turn on.

Erin frowned and tried to shake the image of Tek standing in the stream of water without any clothes on, growling again and quickly heading to his own room. As the door closed behind him, it struck him just how bad things had gotten. His bed, normally neatly made, was completely destroyed. He had a blanket thrown halfway across the floor, he had clothes strewn about, and there was a noticeable smell that stuck to the back of ones throat of dirty socks. The sheet wasn't even visible right now, and Erin could see the mattress completely unbared.

He made himself busy, quickly searching around the bed and finding the sheet stuffed into the crack between the mattress and the wall. He checked it, decided that it smelled just a bit too much like sweat, and threw it into the hamper sitting near the door. The blanket was better, considering Erin had barely used it, so he folded it up neatly and placed it at the foot of his bed. The pillows also seemed fine, and so they were placed in a neat stack next to the blanket. THe clothest strewn about his floor followed the sheet into the hamper, and before long, Erin's room was neat and orderly, if not as it should have been before this whole conundrum came upon him.

There was a small can of air cleaner in his closet, so his room now smelled faintly of lilacs and dirty socks, which actually came across as a little bit worse than just the dirty sock smell. Erin figured he'd need to go on a complete cleaning spree to get this place even remotely back to it's original condition. He'd never been known for being a slob. Some of his friends had even called him a clean-freak before, and Erin had to admit that now that he was more... lucid, his room was positively disgusting.

There was a quiet rap at the door, and it opened slowly, Tek's face sliding into the crack carefully. Erin grinned. "Please, please. It's creepy when you do that. Just come all the way in."

Tek grinned back, if a bit feebly, and stepped fully into the room. Erin briefly admired Tek before shaking the thoughts from his head again. Tek was a few years younger than Erin, and in excellent physical condition. He'd gotten a sleek body from his mother, a snow-fox, and a heavier frame from his father, a tundra wolf. His fur was a bit gray, but mostly an overwhelmingly bright white, and while he was a bit thin, he just barely fit into the 'swimmers build' category. Erin thought he was definitely very attractive.

No, Erin didn't think that. He frowned, but quickly wiped it off his face as he smiled again. "What's up?" He asked.

"Just... checking to see if you felt better. You've been a bit weird for the past week, and I was worried about you." Tek said.

Erin chuckled, and shook his head. "I wasn't feeling the greatest. Sorry for not telling you anything, I didn't want others to be involved. I'm mostly better now though."

Tek gave him a curious look before nodding his head. "I'm gonna be going out to the movies with some friends in a few minutes. You're welcome to join me, if you'd like." He said. "We're gonna go and see that new Black Spiral movie."

Erin shrugged. "No thanks. I've gotta get some things done around here anyways. Some homework I've been neglecting, gotta call a few friends. The works."

Tek smiled. "Alright. I'll cya tonight then!" He quickly walked back out the door, shutting it gingerly behind him, and tripped over the books by the door again, letting out a muffled curse.

Erin grinned and laughed quietly to himself, turning around and glancing at his room one more time before sighing. It was going to be a long day of cleaning.

A few hours later, Erin beamed proudly, albeit a bit tiredly, at his now tidy room. The window had been wiped down, the carpet cleaned, the desk reorganized, his clothes washed, folded, and put away, his bed made, and his light replaced (since he'd noticed it getting a bit dim recently).

The books sitting outside his door had been quickly sorted through, and those he was going to keep placed into the proper place on his shelf. A box was now sitting in his mailbox with the remaining books to be sent out, and Erin was completely finished with re-establishing order in his life. He'd even had some extra time, and so he'd straightened up the living room and kitchen, as well as the bathroom. He had a few more days before school started again, so he was going to get to those places later.

Now that he was done though, he wasn't quite sure what to do with his paws. He glanced at them, and stuck out his claws that were the pride of his family of tigers, and frowned, remembering the scratches and holes in his leg they'd incurred, and the reasoning behind it. HIs clean room lost a bit of it's grandeur as he sat down on his bed again, his mind racing through scenarios and ideas faster than he could stop them.

He growled, and hit his leg as hard as he could right over the bandage covering his scratches, immersing himself temporarily in the bright flash of pain. Before his mind could turn back to anything else, he stood up, limping a bit as his scratches twinged in more pain, and turned on the radio on his desk, dragging out his physics book, and grabbing a sheaf of notebook paper as he sat down.

He'd only just started working on his work when the thoughts slowly started filtering back in, and he slammed his paws into his desk palm down, digging his claws into the wood and hearing a splintering sound as his claws drove into it.

"No!" He said loudly.

The thoughts still came.

Four days later, Erin sat quietly in his car, dreading having to get out of it and head into school. His eyes roamed across the other students passing by, and locked onto Tek and a few of his friends as they passed. Tek noticed him, but glanced away quickly, and Erin turned his gaze to his paws. There was a bandage wrapped around his left hand, from when he'd hit the wall a bit too hard three days ago, but it was only a little ginger.

He'd gotten really good at not thinking about anything, but now that he was out of the house and back at school, it was starting to come back again. What if he was gay? His parents would disown him, his siblings would ostracize him. He'd be left all alone, and even if he had enough money to live comfortably for the rest of his life, Erin didn't want to live that life alone. He'd almost gotten through college. He was getting a degree in physics because he liked it, and he planned on going back to school later.

How was he supposed to live alone?

There'd been people there for him all the time. He'd never had to face something alone like this. He had friends He knew he had friends he could turn to without a second doubt in his mind, but he still felt so alone, and that only served to make him feel guilty on top of the loneliness, and the two mixing was a terrible thing, and he didn't want to live alone, and why was this happening to him now and why and why and why and why and why and why-

There was a brief rap on his window, and Erin started, glancing up with wide eyes. Tek was standing out there, glancing in with some worry, and Erin quickly composed himself, smiling widely as he rolled the window down. "Sorry man, got distracted, I'll be out in a-"

"Cut the crap Erin. Something's going on with you. You think I haven't noticed the hole in the kitchen wall? The bloody clothes sitting in the dirty laundry hamper? You showered four times in the past twenty days. You've showered 4 times, in the past 20 days dude. Do you even know what you're doing to the people who care about you? Your parents have called me a few times, because you're not answering their calls. Your friends are showing up at the door, and I keep on turning them away. You don't need to tell me what's wrong, but tell fucking somebody!" The last part was yelled, and a few glances were cast in their direction curiously.

Erin blinked and whimpered, suppressing a sob as he rolled his window up let his head fall onto the steering wheel, trying to ignore the world for a few moments. He'd barely even set his forehead down when the passenger side door popped open and Tek slipped in, closing it gently behind him. "Hey, Erin. It's fine, ok? I didn't mean to pressure you like that, alright? I'm sorry..." He said, reaching his hand over and tentatively placing it on Erin's shoulder.

"I'm gay." Erin choked out after a moment, banging his head into the steering wheel afterwards. "I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay..." He said, sobbing quietly.

Tek sighed and patted Erin's shoulder. "It's fine, dude. You're not alone, you know? I don't see why you'd be so affected by this kind of thing..."

"My parents, my family, most of my friends... you know them, you know all of them..." Erin said, whimpering quietly.

"Oh..." Tek said quietly, before leaning over awkwardly and wrapping his arms around Erin.

"I don't know what to do... I can't be gay. I'll be left all alone, and I don't want to be all alone. I don't want to be on my own..."

"I wouldn't leave you..." Tek said, squeezing a bit as Erin glanced at him.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't even, I can't... I can't even stop thinking about what will happen, and I don't know what to do, and I'm scared of this..." Erin sobbed and let his head fall back onto the steering wheel. Tek pulled himself back into a normal seated position and glanced out the window before poking Erin in the side.

"Hey, look at me for a sec, would you?"

Erin lifted his head up, glancing at Tek. Tek glanced out the window again, and before Erin even knew what was happening, found himself being kissed.

He gasped and pulled away, staring at Tek with surprise as he mouthed something, blinking rapidly and glancing out the front window as well. There was nobody there, but Erin heard a bell in the distance and he fumbled his hand around on the door, finding the latch and letting himself out onto the pavement. He stumbled a bit, and closed the door, quickly rushing off towards class, ignoring Tek's shouts behind him.

Erin was curled into a fetal position on his bed when Tek knocked again.

"Erin, please... I'm sorry. It was stupid, and I shouldn't have done it... I'm sorry..."

Erin ignored him and stared at the wall, not blinking.

"Erin..."

"I'm sorry..."

Erin sat at the kitchen table the next morning, staring at his empty cereal bowl. The faucet in the sink was on, and he'd been listening to the dripping for almost an hour now. He'd come out here and sat down, having set his alarm early and hoping he could avoid Tek, but when he'd sat down to eat his breakfast, he just froze, and he hadn't been able to move since.

Tek's door creaked, and Erin heard a few hesitant pawsteps. He didn't even turn around. "Are you gay?" He asked, continuing his silent stare at the cereal bowl.

Tek's padded onto the linoleum flooring, his claws clicking loudly in the apparent silence as he approached and sat down next to Erin. He kept a respectful distance, and didn't try to touch Erin any, but Erin still felt him there like a hot burner.

"Yes... I... my family was a lot more acceptant of it than yours might be, so I never had the issues you're having. I... admit I almost laughed when you told me." Tek sighed, and Erin glanced over, noticing the definite tear tracks down the side of his nose. Erin returned his gaze to his cereal bowl. "You... you're issue is one I can't admit to being able to understand and help you with. When you told me, I kinda just... well, I didn't take it that seriously. I figured if I showed you it wasn't such a huge issue by kissing you, you'd feel better, and..." Tek sniffed.

"I was told very plainly by my mother when I went crying to her that others don't work that way, and I may have just over-stepped a barrier that would ruin our friendship together forever..."

Erin smiled sadly. "I... you may have put a bit of a damper on things for a short while, but I spent a lot of time thinking about it last night." Erin laughed weakly. "Hell, I probably got as much sleep as you did. I heard you sniffing all night." He made a half-serious playful jab at Tek, but returned his paws to his lap and stared at them morosely. "I realized you're probably... well, you might be one of the only people who will accept me. My circle of friends is less than open to the whole idea. Most of them are, at least. I'm not sure about all of them..."

Tek nodded his understanding, and stood up from his chair, turning to go to the fridge. Erin stood up as well, and before Tek could turn around completely, hugged him tightly. "Thanks." He said, before pulling away and heading quickly into the hallway and into the bathroom. He closed the door behind him, and leaned backwards, letting out a big sigh as he stared at the sink, but smiling slightly at the end of it before getting ready for the day.