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           Some of you have shown an interest

in what happened with some of my more friendly companions. The fact is; some

remained with me in an active sexual relationship for many years. I suppose I

could go on about them, but I rather figured you'd be more curious about the

variety of animals, as opposed to the number of times I nailed each one.

Some animals I only had one chance

with, and sometimes that was a matter of luck more than anything else. Timing

is everything they say, and while that mostly applies to show business, it fits

for many other aspects of life as well.

The following story is one I

shouldn't even admit to, for there are few others that I have confessed to that

would create as much scandal as this one. Once I get deeper into the story,

you'll see why.

I was invited to a particular zoo,

one of rather high political importance, and one that housed a pair of rather

rare visitors. I say visitors, but they were a gift to the United States by a

foreign power. I will not say which zoo or which foreign power, but if you are

old enough you'll already known what I am talking about. For the rest of you, go

look it up on your computer.

I won't tell you the year, because

in case someone from the government reads this, I don't want to be able to be

tracked down. No harm came from it, but that doesn't mean that I still wouldn't

get in trouble for admitting to such a wrongdoing. I mean, legally it was

a bad thing, but when all was said and done, I think I ended up making a friend

for life.

So here it goes, perhaps my biggest

confession ever.

I screwed a panda.

You heard me right. And it was

ironic as to how it all happened.

I was invited to this zoo solely

because a large number of veterinarians and animal specialists were being given

a few days to work closely with the pair of animals. As you must know by now,

they were a gift from China, which only makes sense because where else do you

find Giant Pandas?

I entered into this  encounter

with an open mind, not towards sex but towards learning about these exquisite

creatures. They are an iconic animal in that everyone across the world knows

what they are. I figured that I would spend my time there and leave, smarter

perhaps but nowhere closer to adding that animal to my list of conquests. Silly

me.

I was part of a group of five

people who were visiting the zoo that week. Some of them took hotel rooms, but

I actually asked if there were quarters on site. I was looked at oddly until I

explained that I stayed at our zoo. That gave them pause for thought,

but I told them that I was pretty particular about what went on there. Since

many of them knew of the reputation of my zoo, which while small, maintained

some very impressive habitats, they accepted my reasoning. As it turned out

there were a few cots in the infirmary (as they called their clinic) and they

said if it was ok by me it was ok with them.

I have to admit that I was hoping

to do a little late night investigating over the entire zoo, but I knew I had to be careful. Here,

the place had security. Some places you just had to be more careful than

others, and this particular city was a hotbed for all sorts of kooks, morons and weirdos.

It still is for that matter, even if they all wear suits and ties.

The enclosure for the pandas was

built specifically to their needs. They were friendly enough with the staff, though

they could be a little standoffish with each other. As I'm sure you know, all

they eat is bamboo, so their diet, though monotonous, was fairly simply to handle.

The big problem, and one that was never solved with these two was in getting them to breed

successfully.

You know, I have a theory. We joked

about it at the zoo that week, but in real life I think it was one of the many

problems surrounding the survival of this species. Male pandas have these tiny needle

dicks. Honestly, they do. I think they would have had more success screwing a

rat with what nature gave them than a female of their own kind. I know that if

I were a female panda, and I was offered so little an enticement; mood or no

mood I might give him the boot, assuming I could even tell if he had it inside me or not.

We discussed this aspect of the

panda's anatomy. You see, a female has a relatively long vagina, and the male's

short penis meant that sperm had a long ways to travel. It would be a bit like

me and a horse. My load would have to travel a long ways before reaching her

womb, assuming that I could even breed with her, which of course I couldn't.

But think of the likelihood of it happening if we were compatible. It becomes a

very low number. That's why stallions are equipped like they are. With pandas,

Mother Nature goofed. That's why there are lots of horses and so few pandas.

On top of that, the girls are only

in a mood one every century or so. Yes, I'm being silly, but we were told that

it was nearly impossible to tell when a female was ready for breeding. They did

their best to keep them together for much of the time just to have them nearby

in case it sprung up. The zoo's luck had been abysmal. 

Enter me.

The first few days were spent not

only observing the pandas, but touring the entire facility. It was pretty cool,

though to be honest, I had been here once before as a paying customer. That did

nothing to mitigate my interest, for I loved animals, from the lowliest to the

largest.

On day four we were allowed to

commingle with the fuzzy black and white beasts. They were pretty laid back, and

in the case of the female, she was often lounging on her back, propped up

against a rock or a log. She didn't seem to mind the intrusion into her lair,

as long as everyone brought bamboo.

Her fur was remarkably soft, and

she was as adorable up close as she was from the other side of the cage. She

happily munched her bamboo and tolerated the attention like the little diva she

was. I ran my hands through her fur, scratching under her chin as she devoured the stems and leaves of imported salad greens.

I couldn't help but notice that the

area around her reproductive opening was darker than the rest of her belly fur,

being instead a touch more brownish in color. I ran my hands down her front, careful not

to make a show of it, and then to her crotch for a quick feel. My action wasn't

noticed, and she made no motion that I was disturbing her, so I poked a finger

in quickly, finder her larger inside that I would have assumed considering what

I had been told about the males. Apparently they had been shrinking with their continuing evolution while the girls remained a proper size. It sort of made sense, for they still

had to pass along a cub, assuming that even a single sperm ever found its mark.

I was glad I had insisted on

staying on the grounds. I got out my notebooks after our evening meal under the

pretense of observing them during the night. The cages had low lighting for the

off hours, so it wasn't like they would be in complete darkness. The head

keeper sort of condescendingly patted me on the back before shutting down the

facility for the night. As he was putting away the spare keys, I managed to

grab the ones for the panda cages and slip them into my pocket unseen. He was

none the wiser.

I waited an hour to make sure no one

came back, and then headed over to her inside compartment. She was still awake,

wandering around looking for more bamboo to eat. Luckily for her, I knew where

they kept it and had brought along a peace offering. I unlocked the door and

climbed inside.

She snuffed the air and wandered

over to me, accepting the offering before ambling over to the opposite corner.

She plopped down on the floor, on her back, with her head propped up against a

rock. I made my way over to her and began rubbing her belly. I didn't want to

rush this, but I was pretty damn nervous as you can expect. It was one thing to

be doing this when it was all completely under your control and another when

you had little control whatsoever.

She ignored my massage or else

accepted it as part of the plan; either way she didn't move. I quickly worked

my way down to her nether regions and spread her open. She was pretty wet for a

supposedly frigid girl! That was good, because I didn't bring lube with me. It

was locked up in a cabinet and was not something I had reason to ask for. This

was going to have to be au natural or nothing at all.

I mean really; what would I have told

them I wanted it for?

I wiggled in a finger, and then

two without throwing off her grove. I was surprised as I said before at how

much room there was in there. I'm not saying that she was gaping, but the fact was, she

could accept a human sized cock with no trouble. That was only a quick

hypothesis of course, but I intended to test its parameters by putting it into

practice.

I ditched my pants, having skipped

the shoes and socks before embarking on this mission.  She still didn't bat an eye at what I was

doing. She did shift a little when I was fingering her, but my actions didn't

seem to be perturbing her at all, so I took up to the next level. By this time

the bamboo was nearly gone.

I was already hard in contemplation

for consummating this brief relationship. As she was on her back already, I

figured it was now or never. Once she moved any attempts on my part were either

going to be rebuffed or impossible to carry out. I spit into my hand and rubbed

my cock, lubing it up. If she were used to a pinky sized cock inside her, I

wanted to be as slick as possible for her to accept this bigger load.

I got up close, spread her open and

pushed. She stopped munching at that moment and stared at me. I had no idea

what was going through her head, but she seemed to be assessing me. Perhaps I

had gotten a little too friendly with her. She stared for a moment before

leaning up and grabbing my head. Since she had claws, I figured I had better

not fight it. I leaned towards her face as she pulled me in. At the same time,

I was forced deeper inside her.

I overbalanced and fell

sprawled across her body. It was a good thing she outweighed me, even if it was

only by thirty pounds. My full weight was on her, but she took it all in

stride. She began licking my face and my ear especially, curling her tongue

around inside there until I wanted to squirm. In case you're not like me, I

hate people (or animals) messing with my ears. I hate wet willies and they give

me the chills something awful.

I did my best to ignore her. It was

tougher than you think, but I tuned her out and focused on the prize; one of

the rarest animals I was ever going to have a chance with. To be honest I was

marveling that I was this far into the game. Her reputation had preceded her,

and if she was tolerant of my attention it had to mean she was sexually receptive.

And here I was, wasting the opportunity for propagating the species on my own

insane desire to have sex with this unique girl.

The funny thing was, she was into it

enough to not fight me off. I thought the position alone might turn her against

it, but it seemed she was a lazy little lady and this was her favorite position.

Since I doubt the male would have known how to deal with it, I guess his

presence would hardly have mattered.

She still had her paws on either

side of my head, so I opted to put my hands on the ground to stabilize myself

before moving my hips. As it was, I had already managed to get myself cock deep

inside her, which apparently was no bad thing. If she had any complaints, she

wasn't voicing them.

Her fur was as luxurious as a snow

leopard's, and her body was as plush as a pillow. I could feel the fine hairs tickling my

bare belly as I moved across her compliant body. She seemed content to groom me

while I went through the motions of mating with her. To be honest I would have been happier

with her lack of participation altogether, but I was in no position to

complain.

Truly her tunnel was wasted on the

males. I was a member of the primate family who had the largest overall penis size

as well as the largest per body mass. Her partner in the other room had

probably one of the smallest per body mass, though I wasn't certain of that

fact at the time. The real fact was; she knew that there was something inside

her and there was no doubt that I had her attention.

As I gently worked her over, I had

the humorous thought that this was my first real oriental girl. Yeah, yeah, I

know, snow leopards were from over that way too, but I didn't think of them

like that. These pandas were a well publicized gift from China, so that made

the thought more prominent in my mind. I know it sounds a bit racist, but there

you have it.

Sue me.

Her insides were remarkably pliant

for an animal as sexually frigid as she supposedly was. I'm not trying to be derogatory,

only stating that I had figured on needing to force my way inside a tight, unused hole.

As it was, she was remarkably relaxed at my present intrusion. I never looked a

gift horse in the mouth and therefore put my hips into overtime.

Imagine screwing an anatomically

correct, life-sized teddy bear.  That

about summed up the experience. She was a lot like something you could have

bought in the zoo gift shop, minus the body mass and slippery hole. And aside

from the grooming she was giving me, I think I could have chalked this up as

being a terrific experience. As it was, I still rated it a ten on its

noteworthiness, but only a seven on sensuality. I really hated my ears being

licked that much.

Imagine then my relief when she

stopped. She let go of my head and just sort of stared at me with an odd look on

her face. I knew she was used to having caretakers, but I knew sure as hell

that none of them ever got to be this intimate with her. I think that perhaps she

was bemused by the fact that her other humans never got this up close and personal with her.

I was only going to have this one

time, so I hoped that she was going to find it memorable. I dug my toes into

the floor and went to work.  She kicked

her legs a little, seemingly to do so at those times when I really pressed my weight

home, driving in as far as I could. Like I said, I started this in a rather

gentle manner, but when I realized that I wasn't going to damage her, I opened

up the throttle.

While such devices where not really

available back then, I still wish to this day that I had a film of the event. People these days talk about things "breaking" the internet. Well let me tell you, a video of a

man fucking the hell out of a panda would be the thing to do it. I had her back

legs rocking wildly with the force of my motion. Those blacked furred feet were

flopping wildly, her claws scraping my thighs as she went sort of limp.

I was torn between getting the most

out of the experience and finishing up quickly. I found a compromise and lasted

about twenty minutes. The entire time I marveled at how an animal with such a

reputation for being a prude could tolerate a human male as her sexual partner.

In my later years, when I looked back on it, I decided it was because she associated

herself more with the humans that with a male of her own kind. It happened a

lot, and in some of the lesser species it was referred to as imprinting.

The fact was, I certainly made an

impression on her. If you've never heard a panda, the sounds they make can be a

little startling. She began making a noise that was a cross between a goat's bleat

and a dog's yowl, and since her head was still hovering near my ears, it was

deafening under the circumstances. I made the poor girl cry out right up until

I was finished.

I blew my load into her far deeper

than her normal partner could ever have hoped to do. I pumped it in with as much

vigor as I thought she could handle, feeling my fluids leave my body to join with

her own. If a male panda had the equipment I did, and the females were as receptive

as this one was, I think the world would have been overrun with the adorable

balls of fluff. Lord knows I would have had one in my zoo under these

circumstances.

I fell onto her, suffering through another

bought of ear cleaning as I gathered up the strength to pull out and leave. I wouldn't

have been in a hurry if it weren't for her rasping tongue. I could have fallen asleep

on that comfortable body, so I guess I should have thanked her instead of

cursing her. The last thing I would have needed was waking up nude to the stares of

my compatriots.

I gathered up everything I had

taken into the enclosure and enticed her back into her cage with some more bamboo.

Once she was secured, I went over to a cleaning area and hosed off. I had no

idea if I smelled like panda or not, but there was no point in risking it. I

toweled off, dressed in a pair of boxers and went to sleep on my cot.

In the morning she was acting quite

frisky and playful, so much so that the staff thought they might have a shot at

getting her and the male together. While they were discussing the

possibilities, I put the keys back into the cabinet and stood in the shadows as

they put the two animals together. She snubbed him and instead came over to the door

leading to her cage. They finally let her in, were she sat on her butt and made

her calling noises, much like she had during the night.

I think she was calling for me, but

rather than find out, I stayed out of the way. If it was me she was after, I

was afraid to make it known, for then everyone was going to wonder what I had

done to deserve such rapturous attention.  In the end, they made her return to the

outside pen, where she still ignored the male for the rest of the day. The two

growled and argued, but never once did they come together. I suppose that was

my fault, but I didn't feel all that bad about it.

Over the intervening years I did

feel bad that they never did have any offspring.  I suppose I stole his one chance at glory. It certainly

wasn't my intention to damage his relationship with his mate.  Things just happened as they happened; there

was no malice on my part. Still, if you were a pundit, you might say that in

the end, he ended up bamboozled. Yeah, I know. Another pun. I'd apologize, but then why should I? The rest of the story is pretty much laid out in black and white...