Mass Retard Effect -Day 1-
#1 of Mass Retard Effect: Days of Future Dumbasses
Shephard..... Is a retard. That is all
Shephard..... The Galaxys finest hero... Is now (rudely interupted by shephard, who is currently shitting his ass off) "Shephard, you are a dumb retard. Get out of this story..." The narrator says, tired of Shephard's constant bullshit. Shephard looks at the narrator (Morgan Freeman) and throws a potato at him, running on his tippy toes like a gay baby would run in high heeled sneakers. Shephard runs to Garrus and kicks him in the balls "ahh! Shephard! I'm dyin over here!" Garrus yells before being assaulted and killed by multiple potatos. "aint nobody got no time fo that!" Shephard yells while running down the hallway of the Normandy. Shephard stops by the boiler room and sees the Heavy from TF. Heavy looks at Shephard and says "You are stupid!" Shephard looks confused as Heavy makes his fingers into a gun shape. "POW!" Heavy yells, sending Shephard through seven different types of mindfuck. "You are dead... Not big suprise."
Shephard wakes up in the middle of nowhere... And by nowhere we mean in the middle of the second season of Lost. "Dafuq is this shit?" Shephard says as some blavk thing slaps him right back into his ship, which is where we begin Day 1.
Day 1- Bullshitting the Bulliest of Bullshit
Shephard wakes up, and looks at his intergalactic space clock. It says 13:21, which Shephard, being very retarted, could not read, or even understand the numbers. Shephard throws the clock at the door, which deflects the clock back to Shephards face, which wakes him up out of his dreams dream. "well, that was weird." Shephard says, while getting up, and walking to his computer. He gets on his Windows account and goes to his "gmod pronz" folder, and pulls up some crudely made porn. Shephard nodded in agreement as two stik figures banged hard. One of those stik figures had two enormous boobies, and the other had a dick the size of a street sign. "Sorry Shephard for ruining your stupidly made porn, but it seems like you have visitors." The computer said to Shephard, who was now looking like a fucktard. Shephard grumbled in anger as he checked the system cameras. And he saw something... Something horrific... Something evil..... "Dear lord help us..." Shephard whispered as the lights went out.
The enemy was... The enemy was.. Was.. I'm gonna be an asshole and not tell you. If enough people view this, i will make this a series, along with the FurryParable