Double Agent
Dreams- modern psychology offers us disturbingly little insight into these unexplained events that happen regularly during sleep. Some see them as the upwelling of Jungian archetypes; others see them as meaningless theatrical parts thrown together by the brain to give our bodies entertainment as the refreshing yet lengthy process of cellular repair takes place. Robbed of dreams brought about Rapid Eye Movement, one will eventually become insane. And yet the very nature of dreams where anything can and does happen makes us question our sanity as well, at least for the duration of the dream. Sometimes, the dreams can metamorphasize into nightmares- nameless fears, panic, madness- this is the case for a particular fox whose story I will discuss.
Where would you rather be? Anywhere, anywhere but here.
When would the time be right? Anytime but now.
Jonathan McBain found himself here in a situation he had never been in before. All around him was darkness and nothing but infinite black space. He was not quite sure if he was dead or alive but one thing was for certain, he felt this all-encompassing sense of doom and fear all around him as though he were alone in this infinite blackness. The fox was both anxious and restless, wanting to know if there was something anything that could break him out of this dark prison. He could feel the darkness having a physical presence, pushing him down, binding him- the light in his soul was in a mortal battle with the hostile darkness of his surroundings.
His mind was racing and as he thought of dozens of decisions, he started to make out doorways leading out of the prison. Something told the fox to open the white-colored door with the golden star which shone with a brilliant, almost heavenly light. If only he could escape the darkness, the doubts and fears that lingered in his brain would all disappear. But McBain knew he needed to be anywhere but here in this dark hellish space.
He opened the door with those aforementioned features hoping to find a way out- instead he found a maze made up of polished mirrors- the images in the mirrors moved whether or not he moved before them. Nearly every one of them showed signs of distortion, a grotesquely-enlarged set of ears, a tail which had grown to massive proportions, his entire face inverted- one even showed his body transforming into a demon. He could see others trapped in this maze but when he moved to touch them, they all disappeared. Running between the shadows, McBain the fox neither knew nor cared which of these wraiths were phantoms, and which ones were real. And with his pinnae pointed upwards, the fox could hear voices and knockings from the other doors, the other entrances to this perverted house of mirrors- he heard beautiful voices and distorted, evil ones coming from beyond the doors. He could hear chains of iron grinding over the wheels of bizarre machinery whose function the fox could not ascertain. And the voices- they were so prevalent, they were giving him a headache. The fox's guardian angels and the demons who sought to do him great harm were at war with one another, a war being fought not only in this mirror maze, with its polished steel and insanity-producing images. The fox could see in the faces of these angels' friends and family whom he recognized- it was all up to him now to determine which one would lose or quite possibly, which voice he would ignore.
He thought again to the wilderness of mirrors, infinite in its scope with no possible way out. Doors were disappearing left and right, demons materializing out of thin air only to be fought at by angels with holy fire. One of the angels handed the bewildered fox a shield which proved helpful in resisting the attacks of the demons- he loved it but as he used it more and more, the metal shield grew thinner and rusty until it was nothing more than a mass of rusted wire. Something inside his head told him that was his sense of honor, now completely useless- all the fox could do now was run between the shadows as he had been doing before. That was until he found another item, a crucifix of holy white fire. Touching it he could feel hope and happiness course through his veins. The cross itself bathed in light was his sense of hope which eventually grew to a blinding light which transported him from this nightmare into a realm of light, surrounded by angels.
"Your sense of rightness is as nothing before us, mortal", the six-winged angel said his voice booming through space yet also quite comforting for the fox.
"In what way?" the timid response of the fox cowering before the holy light of the seraph.
"What you imagined- your darkest, deepest fears hidden in the confines of your mind took physical form tonight. These monsters, this insanity you dreamed it into existence. What you imagined became that which you believed and eventually that which you accepted as fact."
"But I'm here to tell you that squadron of angels sent by God Himself saved you from what would have been a horrifying fate, dying in your sleep, your soul taken down to the deepest pits of Hell. You would have been claimed by your own imagination and the fears it has."
All around he could sense the angel as being one of pure light, his body radiating warmth and positive feelings. The fox did not want this to stop but he knew eventually he would have to return to the waking world, all the more wiser for this harrowing and as it turned out death-defying ordeal.
"Wake up, Jonathan McBain!" came the voice of his mother, surrounded by his family which included his father and brothers. "You've had a nightmare- for a moment we felt you might never have woken up."
All around, just as he had felt in the chambers where the angel talked with him was confidence and love. The sun's beams were cascading through a window and he felt in good spirits as he brushed his tail which had grown disheveled through this terrifying night. It felt so good for McBain to finally be awake, filled with a joy in life he had never felt before. He was as rested and fearless as someone could ever be and he knew that during the dream he had made the right choices, cared deeply about his friends, and accepted the help of benevolent supernatural forces; all of these choices had proven to be his salvation. McBain would have to decide later as to whether or not he had a dream or the dream had him but right now, he was alive and surrounded by family whom he loved deeply. He hugged his mother which is something he never did, but just several minutes ago his soul was teetering on the brink between salvation and ruin.
A case had been tried by the jury inside- a choice between darkness and light.
A choice between darkness and light.