The Confession

Story by Beltoan on SoFurry

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#4 of A New Life In A New World


I'm not claiming to be immune to the effects of war. Seeing me swimming in a pond, naked as the day I was born might give you the wrong idea. They did affect me, god knows they did, and still do. But as a leader, it is in the best interest of the group to keep yourself together and keep everyone alive. Training in any armed force teaches you to keep your emotions in check and to keep a level head, even in the most chaotic situations. In my case, that extended through everything that I did. With the start of the war, it also included the "release" sessions.

Don't misunderstand. I was happy to help them but, we were being hunted. I had to be ready at a moment's notice in case shit hit the fan. Because of that, I was robotic with my motions and actions, working my partner to release quickly and repeatedly. Even though the sessions helped others immensely, I was the odd one out because of my purpose to keep them alive. As the weeks past, my partners gradually found someone within the ranks to pair up with and everyone started to return to normal, happy people. Not me. I was distracted and obsessed with my job. I remember becoming easily angered as well as slightly paranoid, seeing shadows everywhere. After two months, I was on the verge of collapse from extreme paranoia and insomnia. Shockingly, I wasn't the only one. Her name was Maria Reynolds.

She was a widow. She lost her husband and two sons when the war began. Because of her devotion to them, no one ever got close to her. But even the most devoted can break down. She was the only one who still sought comfort in my arms, crying herself to sleep with her hands clutching my shirt tightly. I don't know what kept her coming back. She could easily have found a decent man to spend time with. She was very beautiful. She had thick, curly black hair that passed her neck, chocolate eyes that would stop a man in his tracks, dusky brown skin that practically glowed with life, high cheekbones, a gently sloping nose, and soft, full lips that always had a kind smile ready for the world. When I first met her back in training, her face and figure belied the fact that she was the mother of two.

At 35-years-old, she still kept in shape in spite of the world outside. She stood at 5' 7", and had a full figure, slim and slender with curves in all the right places. Her native Brazil's capoeira kept her lithe and flexible. Years of practicing the art had gifted her physique. Her arms stayed as slender as the rest of her, hiding their true strength, long, well-muscled legs led to a full ass and hips before slimming to a trim waist and flat stomach that continued up and became a well-endowed bust. To this day, her beauty still causes me to stop, even if the image is only in my mind.

Among the Juggernauts, she was one of half-a-dozen people to expand their skills into 5 of the Energies. Her favorite was mana and the shape-shifting abilities it graced her with. The form that she chose was a jaguar. She spent so much time practicing, it got to the point where it became second nature and didn't need mana anymore. Eventually, she was able to control the transformation to the point that she could change any part of her body to any degree and still get the physical enhancement that it came with. Some days she had spots, some where she had cat ears and a tail, and others where she only changed her legs. It was a very useful and entertaining skill. One of the many that made her my second-in-command. That and the fact that she could detect and read auras from anywhere.

I digress. Like me, she shut herself off from everyone and focused on surviving. And, like me, as time went on, she became distant from the others. Eventually, it came to the point that it almost destroyed her. I still remember the night that we saved each other from our own despair.

(Flashback-6 weeks ago)

(General P.O.V.)

Winter in Siberia is said to be among the harshest environments in the world. The destruction of most of the countryside had only made things worse. Sub-zero temperatures, no shelter, very few trees, little-to-no wildlife, months of darkness and fierce winds make even the most courageous of adventurers hesitant to venture through. To the knowledge of very few, there are a series of caves just below the surface. Their winding paths have claimed many lives over the centuries and are said to hold untold riches in their depths. Against such astronomical odds, even the former natives were very cautious. After society in Russia fell apart, any and all survivors fled the desolate land. However, for those trained to withstand anything in their path, it was a safe haven. A place to rest and recuperate from running and fighting. Perfect for those who are now considered monsters amongst their own people.

The soldiers once known as the Juggernauts had laid claim to these caves and sealed the entrances with extremely powerful magic. Having gathered all the necessary provisions through many weeks of hunting, scavenging and other less-than-honorable deeds, the dwindled force was more than prepared for the coming days. Of the original 670 members, 73 of the most powerful beings in existence remained, their comrades having fallen in battle, slaughtered with their families, or captured and tortured for information on the location of the other warriors. Despite their pain, not one betrayed their bretheren, even unto death. Due to extra precautions, no one had been killed or captured in almost six months.

Deep beneath the earth lay a dense cluster of hollows, some containing pools of fresh water. Here the tired and exhausted family of soldiers had found solace and rest. Their first few hours were spent setting up necessary facilities for food, provisions, medical attention and sleeping quarters. Upon completion, all fell into a long desired and fitful slumber. The next few days followed thus as each ragged and tormented soul rested and healed.

*******************

"Everyone is steadily healing and regaining their strength, General," a lean officer said, standing before a large, shadowed silouette in a deeper cavern. "Within the next few days, all of us should be back to full health. The quartermasters have also reported that we have enough supplies to last us for several weeks and still have extra should we decide to relocate."

"............Good," came the rumbled reply, exhaustion evident in the speaker's voice. "Inform everyone that all duties are suspended for the next three days to do whatever they please. Have the medical bay on stand-by for the time being. Now is a time for relaxation and peace. That is all for now, Colonel. You are dismissed."

"Yes, sir! Thank you, sir!" The man saluted and hurried out of the room, a spring in his step and a voice eager to spread the news. Several moments passed before faint shouts and calls of merriment flowed through the corridors, the news being recieved with much enthusiasm.

The shadowed general sighed heavily, the sound coming out as a deep-throated growl, grabbing a flask from the table beside him and taking a long swig. The chilled brandy flowed down his throat, moistening it and releasing the tension in his large, muscled frame. Finishing the flask, he set it down, placed his hat next to it and began to remove his equipment. His heavy woolen overcoat was draped over the back of a nearby chair, quickly followed by his jacket, the many medals and pins glinting in the light from the passage. He emptied his pockets of their contents and set the various items on the seat before taking off his belt and adding it to the pile. Kneeling and swiftly removing his boots, he set them beneath the chair, letting his feet drink in the cold of the stone floor. Free of the excess weight, the general stretched his fatigued body, feeling the overtaxed muscles loosen and relax after the ridiculous journey several days prior and the extended set-up and arming of the camp.

Clad in a muscle shirt, khakis and shorts, he made his way to the make-shift bed against the wall and sat down. He closed his eyes, settled into the cotton covered surface and leaned back, the cool wall easing his back into further relaxation. The urge to lay down and just sleep for a few days became apparent as his utter exhaustion hit him with the force of a runaway tank. It hovered on the edge of his consciousness, filling his body with a leaden feeling but not overtaking him. As his mind flickered between reality and the sweet embrace of dreams, a new shadow appeared in the archway. After a moment, the figure made itself known.

"Are you well, General?" it asked softly, the voice light and professional. "Your aura is dim and twisted. Do you require healing?"

The general opened his eyes and focused on the speaker. Leiutenant General Maria Reynolds was one of the few who were completely healed and it showed. She was clean and healthy, all traces of the recent events gone. Her face, schooled in impassiveness, remained kind and beautiful. Her black, naturally curly hair was slightly messy and damp, signifying a recent bath. He lightly sniffed the air and confirmed that. A chance to rest had removed the faint circles from around her chocolate eyes and the decent shelter allowed her darker skin to heal from the harsh, frigid winds leaving it soft and smooth once again. He was still amazed at how beautiful she was. Her current state of dress was the same as his: barefoot, in a shirt and khakis. Framed in the light of the passage, he could see that she seemed hesitant, as if afraid to disturb him. Stirring his muscles back to awareness, he sat up and answered.

"I am fine. The current situation is starting to tax me heavily. Several days of rest should be enough to set me back on track as well as the rest of the ranks. We were most fortunate to come across this series of caves. We can rest and recover our strength in peace, without any disturbances from the outside world. Our tracks have been covered well."

"........Are you certain you are well?" The man nodded tiredly. Reluctantly convinced, Maria dropped it. The woman's features became slightly confused. "Colonel Ellis said that you are giving everyone a break for a few days. Is that true?"

"Yes. Is there a problem with that?"

"No, sir. I was just curious as to why," she replied, focused on the answer that he may give.

"..............We have been running for a long time. A little celebrating will give everyone a chance to relax and forget their troubles for a time. Will you join them?"

The man examined the woman as he asked the question. While he was certain she would not go, prefering to be by herself, he thought it would be good for her if she went and had some fun. A part of him wanted to know if she would stay and talk with him for a while, to pass the time if anything. Strangely, another part of him, the human part, wanted to plead to her to stay. Unknownst to the woman and the Juggernauts, he had come to admire her spirit and beauty in the passing years, that admiration slowly becoming stronger as time went on. He may be a general of the most powerful force in history, but others seemed to forget that he was still human. He truly wanted to get to know this woman but kept his distance due to her own wishes and his purpose to keep his remaining comrades alive, the many emotional barriers supporting the conviction holding strong.

As he watched her, Maria thought back to when she first saw Alex, nine years ago. She had been amazed that someone so young could be so powerful. Over the years, she watched as he grew stronger and rose through the ranks, steadily becoming one of the most powerful and respected men in the world. She was surprised at how excited she was when it was announced that she would be his second-in-command. Her devotion to her husband and sons was the only thing keeping her from falling for him like the rest of the female populous seemed to. She would admit to others that he was indeed handsome, but as a married woman she should not have been thinking things like that. With the death of her family, she shut herself off from the world, helping the Juggernauts survive to the best of her ability. She had become even stronger under his teaching and expanded her skills to other Energies as well. And when the group started the "release" sessions, she immediately chose whose shoulder to cry on. While she did not want to have sex, he helped her to overcome her grief and to move on. It also revealed that she was starting to get closer to him. When he asked her if she wanted to go and join the others in their celebration, she was surprised. Truthfully, right now, she wanted to stay with him.

The young general waited patiently as the silence stretched. His eyebrow rose as he watched her professional facade melt. Her shoulders gently relaxed, her legs shifted to a more comfortable stance, the impassive look on her face softened to expose the kind and gentle woman within. Her hands clasped themselves behind her back as her head tilted down slightly. With her suddenly so relaxed, Alex had an idea of where this was going but stayed silent and waited for her to speak.

"Actually, could I stay here with you?"

Without a word, he straightened and held out his hand. Smiling gently and gratefully, she stepped forward and took it, before setting herself upon his lap. He wrapped his left arm around her waist as she turned so her right side was against his chest. She leaned against him and brought her knees up in front of her as his right arm wrapped around her legs, holding them in place with her feet on his thigh. Placing her right arm across her stomach, she grabbed his left hand from her waist and entwined her smaller palm in his much larger one. She then laid her left hand upon his chest and set her head next to it, hearing and feeling his warmth and heartbeat beneath them. Curled up in his lap, she closed her eyes and relaxed as the sound of his heart throbbed through her body, the deep monotone lulling her into semi-awareness.

Alex gazed at her as she curled into his chest. Once again, she left him speechless. This woman, so strong when in command and yet, so small and vulnerable in his presence. She was kind, gentle, patient, strong, intelligent, beautiful and so much more. She was perfect. Even with her devotion to her family, she could have sought comfort from anyone she wanted, but she kept coming to him. He continued to watch her until his curiosity got the better of him.

".......Why?"

Maria looked up at him in confusion. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw his face. His stern expression of authority had greatly softened. His jaw was relaxed as was his brow, seemingly sad. Without a hat, his long, blonde hair was loose and framed his chiseled features, making him appear several years younger. His eyes were what drew her in. The normally stern, saphire orbs had seemingly darkened to navy, almost violet and appeared to glow in the dim light. The scar across his left eye simply enhanced the effect. As many times before, she simply stared at him, all the while wondering how such a handsome man did not have someone beside him. Lightly shaking herself, she returned to the present.

"Why what?" she asked.

"Why do you choose to come to me?"

She blinked at the question and looked at him more closely before she realized what he meant. This exceedingly powerful man wanted to know why she came to him when she needed comfort. As always, an answer came to her but she was not sure what he would say or do if she gave it. And now looking into his eyes, she knew that she had to say it, for good or ill. Steeling herself, she looked at their entwined hands before she spoke.

"........You understood," she said. His look of confusion deepened before she continued. "If I went to someone else, they would've ask me questions that I didn't want to answer or they would've tried to take advantage of me. You didn't. You understood that I just wanted to be comforted. I trust you. More than anyone I've ever met, even my husband."

".........More than your husband?" He couldn't hide the shock in his voice.

".........Yes," was her reply. "I know I should have felt some guilt when I realized this, but I didn't when I thought about it. I trusted him as any wife trusts their husband: to stay faithful, to help raise the children, to help keep the house going, things like that. The trust I have in you is different."

"How?"

"...........I trust you with my life, I trust you to help me get stronger, to guide me and to watch out for me, I trust you to comfort me in my time of need and not take advantage of me during it." She paused and began to shake slightly, head still bowed. "And.........."

Alex sat there, quietly holding the trembling woman as she opened herself to him, revealing things that were slowly breaking through his barriers. His eyes widened slightly when a wet spot appeared near his heart and a soft sob escaped her.

"..........And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop it," she said between sobs, hot tears slowly leaking from her clenched eyes. "You unknowingly wormed your way into my heart and I began to fall for you more and more every day. I never meant for it to happen and yet it did. The worst part is that I don't feel guilty about it!" She began to shake harder as the sobs grew more harsh. "I still love John, just as much as I did when he was alive. But now I love you too and I feel like I've betrayed him because of it!"

She began to sob harder in his arms and curled herself tighter in his lap, her cries shaking her small frame. The young general just sat in shock before coming back to his senses. His left arm was still wrapped around her, holding her hand, as he brought his free hand up and started stroking her hair gently. He rocked back and forth, slowly cradling her as she let her feelings known. His barriers slowly crumbled as his own tears fell from his eyes.

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This is evolving much better than I first planned. Till next time!