Roomate
A human finds a nice apartment and a big roommate to go with it. Thankfully, he's a pretty cool guy.
Russ stood outside the apartment door. Though he had just knocked a second ago, the wait felt like an eternity.
He really really hoped this guy liked him and would let him move in asap. He was tired of diving so far just to get to his job, and this apartment was the perfect place for him to live. That is, if the guy he was waiting for actually said yes.
The door opened and Russ was floored. The beast in front of him filled the door frame. Standing at least a foot taller and at least a hundred pounds heavier, this guy was huge in every definition of the word.
The boar man held out a hand and smiled jovially. "Hey, you must be Russ right? The name's Dan. Its nice to meet in person."
Russ cautiously shook the massive hand and nodded. "Same to you. Thanks for meeting me on such short notice."
Dan motioned for him to come inside. "Not a problem. To be honest, you're actually the only one who responded to my ad, so I was pretty exited to meet you." He headed into the kitchen. "Would you like something to drink?"
Russ shook his head. "No thanks. I'm good." he said as he looked around. The apartment itself was very nicely furnished, and by all standards didn't seem like the kind of place belonging to someone who was looking for a roommate.
"What do you think?" Dan asked as he sat down on the sofa. "I'm pretty proud of the place myself."
"Its great. If I could I'd probably move in right away."
"What's stopping you?" Dan asked, taking a gulp of the soda he had grabbed.
Russ sat down in a chair across from him. "Well, just this interview, I guess."
Dan smiled and leaned forward. "Right, right. I suppose you've got a point there." he said. "Well, like I said on the phone, I'd expect you to pay for half rent, along w/ your own toiletries and whatever. Utilities are included in rent, too. Can you do that?"
Russ nodded. "Yeah, actually the reason I was looking for a place up here is because the office I work at is just too far from my current home to be cost efficient."
"Cool. I'm a bouncer downtown for a club, myself." Dan told him. "Its not the most glamorous job, but I like it. I do a lot of the money work too."
"Money work?"
Dan shrugged. "You know, payroll and profit. That kind of thing."
Russ nodded again. This guy didn't seem so bad. He couldn't imagine why on earth the big guy couldn't get a roommate.
"So what do you do in your spare time?" Dan asked. "Just out of curiosity."
"I play a few video games, but honestly, a lot of my time is spent surfing the net. I like to cook, too."
Dan laughed. "That's a good skill to have. I'm a horrid cook, so most of the time I just order out or pop something in the microwave."
"Well, if you'd be willing to let me move in, I'd be more than happy to whip something up for you." Russ said, casually.
Dan grinned. "I have a pretty big appetite, I should warn you now. Are you sure you want to say something like that?"
Russ nodded, confident in his abilities.
"Then I can help you move in tomorrow."
The next day, Russ had boxed up what few things he had left to, and just as he finished labeling the final box, the doorbell rang.
On the other side was Dan, and next to him was an even taller, heavier pigman. The second man was shirtless, and wearing a pair of loose shorts.
"Russ, this is my older brother. I told him you were moving in today and he offered to help." Dan explained.
"Call me Adam." He said. "I noticed you didn't have a moving van or anything. Are you sure you'll be able to fit all your stuff in a truck?"
Russ nodded, as he invited them inside. "Yeah, the furniture is staying, other than the stuff in the bedroom. It wasn't mine to begin with, actually. Other than my desk and my bedroom furniture, most of my belongings are packed up." He stifled a yawn. "I wanted to try and get it all finished before you came, so we didn't have to come back again."
Dan grinned. "You must be pretty excited to move in with me, then."
Russ laughed, sheepishly. "Well, yeah. Your place is pretty much everything I was looking for, and you're pretty cool as well. So in my book its a win-win."
Adam smacked Russ on the back, causing him to lurch forward in surprise. "You picked a good one here, Danny." He said. "Hope you don't scare him off or anything."
"Yeah, sure." Dan rolled his eyes. "Come on you two, its supposed to be hot today, after all. We should see if we can't get everything inside before then."
Adam grabbed some boxes. "Its already too hot for me." He said. "If it gets any hotter I don't know what I'm gonna do."
Russ couldn't help but sneak a glance at the huge man as he lifted up the boxes like it was nothing. Though admittedly, Russ tried to keep them light, it was still quite a sight to see him carrying them all, as the pressed into his belly. At the same time, though, he was a little jealous at how much Adam could carry. Russ knew that if he tried to grab that many boxes, he'd probably end up dropping them somehow, or injuring himself.
Most of the boxes were able to be brought over right away, and what was left fit in Russ's van, on the second trip, while Adam's pickup held his large furniture. Dan rode with Russ on the way back, as his AC worked better than the one in Adam's truck. That didn't stop him from taking off his shirt however.
"Thanks again for helping me out." Russ said, trying to focus on the road, and not his now-roommate's belly.
Dan shrugged. "Hey, don't worry about it. I wasn't about to make you do it by yourself, after all."
"I moved into that house by myself, actually, so I figured I'd be able to manage." Russ admitted, causing Dan to look at him funny, "Really? No help at all?"
Russ nodded. "Yeah, I'm from the midwest, originally, and I wasn't able to find anyone who was willing to drive halfway across the country with me on such short notice. So I mostly did it by myself."
"Well, you have to admit, this is a lot easier, isn't it?"
Russ nodded. "Yeah, that's for sure."
After several more trips up the apartment elevator, Russ finally got all his things in his room. While he put his bed frame together so he had a place to sleep, Dan took the liberty of ordering out, figuring Russ would be too tired to cook anything today, despite his promise.
Adam stayed for a bit to help out as well, but had to leave for work, so by the time the food was here, it was just the two of them.
As Russ came into the living room, he saw Dan, in his boxers, placing about five extra large pizzas on the table, along with a multitude of sides. "I was worried that there would be enough, but Adam had to split, so I think we'll be fine." He said, before noticing that Russ was staring at him. "I hope you don't mind, I was getting pretty hot."
"No, no its fine." Russ said, almost saying something along the lines of how he's 'looking even hotter in just his boxers' but deciding that hitting on someone who he's known for a day probably isn't a wise idea. Russ himself was shirtless, so it clearly didn't bother him, but it was nice that the pigman wanted to make sure anyway. "I have some leftover sodas from my house, do you want one?" He asked, digging through the cooler he'd packed with his remaining refrigerated goods.
"Sure. You can just bring the cooler over here if you want, so you don't have to walk back and forth every time you want one. This stuff is kinda spicy."
Russ sat the cooler down on the floor between him and Dan, before helping himself to a couple slices. Dan did the same, folding them in half like a sandwich and taking a massive bite. "I don't know what kind you like, so I didn't get anything too wild. Pepperoni, Cheese, Sausage, Sausage with Olives, and Meat Lovers." He said pointing at each box in turn. Russ had taken a couple pepperoni, while Dan was going to town on the Cheese one.
After about three of his 'sandwiches', Dan grabbed one of the sodas, cracking it open and chugging it all, letting out a belch for his efforts. He grinned sheepishly and patted his stomach. "Sorry."
Russ shrugged. "I sort of saw it coming with as quickly as you drained that can. Its no big deal." he helped himself to a soda as well, but just took a normal sized sip of it. "So, I told you all about me, last night, why not tell me about you? That was your brother right?"
Dan nodded. "Yep, Adam is the oldest. I'm the middle child, and I have another brother that's between us, and two that are younger than me."
"Five boys? Your house must've been wild."
"Yeah, my parents had their hands full, but its not like we were real bad, I don't think. Once we got older though, it was pretty apparent that we were taking after our dad in height and weight, so that's when things got wild. We spent a lot of time outdoors, and Mom to this day still worries that all our messing around is gonna break something."
"Do you visit her often?"
Dan nodded. "She's real big on family gatherings. So holidays and anniversaries and birthdays, all that stuff, she's always inviting us to come over so she can cook for everyone and have this big party. You should come one time, its really fun."
"I dunno. I mean, I wouldn't want to feel like a third wheel or something."
"No way, the more the merrier! Plus, if your as good a cook as you say you are, I'm sure Mom would love to have you over to exchange tips and all that."
The rest of the night was spent casually chatting and eating more pizza, though the eating was done primarily by Dan, who ended up falling asleep on the couch after polishing off two of the pizzas on his own. Russ was so tired, he actually hadn't noticed until the big guy started snoring, and he took that as his clue to head to bed himself, but not before cleaning up.
He debated whether or not to wake up Dan so he could go sleep in his bed, he looked pretty comfortable on the couch, so Russ decided to leave him.
After making sure to lock the door and shut off the lights, Russ headed to bed, the excitement of the day finally hitting him and helping him to fall asleep quickly.
Russ's room didn't have windows, so when he woke up and realized it was already nine am, he was fairly shocked. Half asleep and still not quite aware of his surroundings, he stumbled towards the bathroom, still in his boxers, literally running into Dan, who was heading the same way.
"Oh, rats, sorry." Dan said, glad he didn't knock the smaller man down. "I figured you woulda slept in after all that moving."
Russ pushed himself off of his roommate's belly and shook his head, now plenty awake from the impact. "I'm usually up at seven, even when I have the day off, so to me, this is sleeping in."
"Really? Weird." Dan's stomach let out a grumble, and he chuckled. "Well, I was gonna take a shower here, but I think I'm gonna go have something to eat first. You can go first."
"Thanks. But if you want to wait, I can make something to eat, too. I still owe you a meal after all."
Dan shrugged, and patted his stomach. "I'll have plenty of room for both, I'm sure. I'm starving."
"Alright, suit yourself, but don't be mad if you're too full to enjoy my food."
Dan burst into laughter. "I'd like to see you try and make a meal big enough that I'm too full to finish."
"Give me a bit to wash up, and you have yourself a challenge."
The two of them gave each other confident smirks and went their separate ways.
The entire time Russ was in the shower, he was going through what things he knew how to make, and what all was available for him to cook with,
"That big gut of his won't know what hit it." He told himself. Though, he felt a bit of nervousness about cooking for someone else, and occasionally caught himself worrying about Dan not liking his food.
Dan, however, had made himself comfortable on the sofa, snacking away as he watched the morning news. "Did you have any problems with the shower?" He asked, as Russ came into the living area and headed to the
"Nope, it was great. Actually, I think it was nicer than my old one."
He nodded. "Glad to hear it."
As Russ started on his 'breakfast for a beast', he found himself occasionally staring at his new roommate. The guy was big, powerful, and muscular for sure, but also had plenty of extra weight on him to soften everything out, and give him a large, friendly physique that was accentuated by a big belly, messy brown hair, and a somewhat scruffy face that featured a pair of large lower canines that stuck out from his mouth, even when closed. In spite of his jovial personality, however, Russ recalled him mentioning that he was a bouncer at a club, and was very sure that the big man could be intimidating when he wanted to be, and back up whatever he said to rowdy customers on top of that.
"Glad I'm on his good side." Russ said to himself as he continued to cook.
After what felt like ages to both men, Russ finally finished cooking. Towering stacks of pancakes, scrambled eggs, and toast laid across several platters. Russ was, admittedly, debating on whether or not to make bacon or sausage, but, after finding neither of those things in the fridge or freezer, decided it was probably for the best. He already had a ton of stuff cooking, and he didn't want to accidentally mess up trying to divide his attention that much, or worse, blow a fuse.
"Woah, this all looks really good!" Dan said, wide eyed, as Russ brought everything out to the living room. "I'm not sure where to begin."
Russ sat down on the couch next to him. "Wherever you want, most of this is food from your fridge, anyway. I figured you get first dibs."
Dan laughed. "Not sure that's too bright of an idea, Russ. There might not be anything left for you."
"Yeah, if you can manage to eat all of this, I'd gladly eat a bowl of cereal out of respect for your gut."
Dan must've accepted that challenge, because he immediately dug in, not bothering to load up a plate, but rather, eating things straight from the serving dishes. Russ watched, finding himself a bit envious at how much the bigger guy could pack away. Russ had a healthy appetite of his own, and he was fairly well padded from years of office work and donuts, but next to Dan, he felt small for the first time in awhile.
As Dan happily munched away, Russ quickly realized that he might have gotten a little too cocky in assuming the boar couldn't eat everything he'd made. Eventually, there wasn't a piece of food left on the table, all of it now inside Dan's round, fuzzy stomach, which he was contentedly rubbing with a massive hand while the other was behind his head.
"Well, it seems I'll be eating not only cereal, but my own words for breakfast." Russ said, highly impressed. "Nice work."
Dan let out a belch, and grinned. "Thanks. Y'know, if you don't want cereal, I saw that you put the pizza away from last night. I had a couple slices myself while you were in the shower, but there's still plenty left if you want some." He shrugged. "Or, y'know, if you wanna bring me some while you're out there, I wouldn't say no to that either."
"You mean you still got room for more?"
Dan patted the furry ball. "Oh yeah. I could do this all day if I wanted. Can't say my boxers would appreciate it too much, though."
Russ let out an involuntary snicker at that. "Alright, sure. I'll let the all time King of Eatingstay on his throne while I grant a few of his whims."
"The king's very appreciative of this."
Russ came back with a bowl of cereal, and the box he'd put the remaining pizza in, plopping it down on Dan's bare belly, causing him to let out a grunt of surprise.
"Ooh, that's cold."
After a finishing the cereal, Dan spoke up. "While you were chowing down, I happened to catch the weather, and its gonna be even hotter today than it was yesterday."
Dan made a noise of frustration. "Of course it is, the a/c isn't working."
"Hey, don't worry too much, I happen to have a fan in one of my boxes we can set up."
"Yeah, I got a couple too I usually stick around the house. They're in the closet, if you wanna put yours with 'em."
Russ drained the milk from his bowl, got up, and patted the big beast on his belly. "Nah, I'll just go set them all up now, while its still a little cool yet." He went to leave, but stopped. "Oh, do you have any extention cords? I don't see any plugins around here, so I'm guessing they're all behind stuff."
Dan laughed and got up as well, setting the now empty box aside. "Here, I'll show you where everything is."
After digging out the necessary cords, and finding Russ's fan in his boxes, they decided to set one up in the main entryway, one in the living room pointing at the sofa, and one Russ's bedroom so it'd be a bit cooler while he was unpacking, which he'd gotten started on while Dan had went to go shower.
He hadn't noticed the Dan was done in the shower until he heard a violent crash and a short 'whoops' from behind him. He'd tripped on the fan cord, and while Dan himself didn't go down, the fan most certainly did, lying pathetically on the bedroom floor as it attempted to continue its oscillation.
Dan gently set it back up, letting it return to its duty. "Sorry about that."
"Hey, wouldn't be the first time its happened. That things lasted through plenty of drops."
"Well, I hope it doesn't happen too many more times." The big man said, scratching his still slightly damp belly. "I'd hate to find out just how many hits it can take before it can't take any more." He looked around. "Your room's really starting to come together. And here I thought I'd come in and offer to help, but you seem to have it all covered."
Russ nodded. "Yeah, like I said, I don't really have all that much. I spent most of my time on my computer anyway, troubleshooting this or that for work, and most everything else I could get online too. Helped me save money 'cause I didn't have cable or a phone bill to worry about. Electric was a little less too."
"Well, now that you live with me, I hope you won't be holed up in your room all the time. I'm a social guy, y'know? That's why I kind of wanted a roommate in the first place."
"No need to worry about that. I'm much more willing to hang out with someone, now that I have a roommate too."
Dan flopped down on Russ's bed, revealing that he was completely nude. "Hey, this thing's pretty comfy."
"Thanks, but I'm sure its probably from lack of use. Most of the time, I just slept on the couch, or worse, in my desk chair after pulling a few too many all-nighters."
"Man, you've got some awful sleep habits. That kind of thing is important, you know? A comfy bed is essential to a restful nights sleep."
"I know, I know. I was working on changing that before I moved here."
"Well, you best keep working on it."
Russ laughed. "And just who was it that passed out on the couch from a food coma again? Remind me."
"Okay, okay. I'm not one to talk either. But my bed's all wonky, I need a new mattress."
"I'd offer you mine, but after that little lecture on the importance of a good night's rest, I'm suddenly really attached to it."
"That's fine, you can just come with me to the mattress store next weekend and help me pick one out."
"That's what roommates are for. Now please get your soggy naked ass off my sheets."
"Oh, whoops." Dan stood up, red faced. "Sorry, I'm, uh, still kind of used to living on my own."
"I just meant stop getting my bed all damp so I can sleep on it tonight."
"Right, right. Its just, y'know, its gonna be hot..."
"You wanna prance around here naked as the day you were born, go for it man, don't let me stop you." Russ said, admittedly a tiny bit amused at Dan's sudden shyness in spite of how rude that might seem. "I mean, until the building manager puts my name on the tenant's list, you're still technically the sole owner of this place, so you can kind of do whatever you want, and even if that wasn't the case, it doesn't really bother me."
"You are honestly the most laid back person I have ever met. Does nothing faze you?"
"I work computer tech in an office full of people who are old enough to remember when they first put computers in there, and yet still can't do much more than email and spreadsheets. If I wasn't laid back about everything I'd probably collapse into a black hole of rage and stress, and I've heard that's bad for your health."
"Y'know, I think I'm gonna enjoy having you as a roommate."
"Yeah, I think I'm gonna enjoy living here, too."