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Chapter 14

The bridge of the Mrr'tani Pride felt crowded, but it didn't bother Strong Soul nearly as much as it would have before they landed at Avalon. Strong Soul and Night Star sat in their usual seats with Stargazer sitting behind them in what Night Star told her was the navigator's chair. The smell and the feeling of the chair and the bridge itself were familiar to her and soothing in the same way as her cottage in Airgidbaile.

Everything had gone smoothly once they were all aboard the Pride, and Steven had made sure that they were bumped ahead of the other departures so they could leave almost immediately and now they were floating through the starless expanse of hyper, watching the trails of waves through the windows.

This trip into hyper was different from the last. Strong Soul found that she'd gotten so close to Stargazer that when she and Night Star joined for the transit, she'd pulled Stargazer along for the ride.

Now the triple vision was fading and the three of them all dropped their arms at the same time as their awareness filtered into their own heads once again. The stuffed and muffled feeling was gone from Strong Soul's mind and she felt both Night Star and Stargazer brightly in their proper places in her mind.

"I have never felt anything like that," Stargazer breathed, almost reverently.

"It's something, isn't it?" Night Star said. "I usually get a little queasy on a jump, but all joined up like that, it's nice and smooth."

Strong Soul smiled and lay back in the chair. "It was even better this time. I didn't even feel it with both of you."

"You have not ceased to intrigue me, Keeper," Stargazer said, hazarding the use of her true name.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"There are not even stories about a Frr'a'narr'ah who can join with more than one, and joining with one who is not Frr'a'narr'ou is entirely unheard of."

Strong Soul smiled. "I'm starting to get used to surprising people. If it makes you feel any better, I didn't know I could do it either. It was kind of an accident."

"I believe being your protector has the potential to be more interesting than I was expecting."

Night Star laughed. "You have no idea, Stargazer. But you'll learn, and so will I."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small chip. After a quick check for damage, he slid it into the computer. "We have a decision to make," he said, turning on the screens.

The screen in front of Strong Soul lit up and the standard star map that she'd seen before they arrived at Avalon appeared. The same line that showed the Pride's usual route appeared, snaking its way between the planets and shortly after a small red blotch appeared in an asteroid field a good distance away from their route.

"Before we left Avalon, Morning Dawn gave me these coordinates. Micah decrypted them and he's constantly updating. That there is the Mrr'tani refugee fleet."

"So the rumors are true," Stargazer said, leaning over Strong Soul's shoulder to peer at the screen.

"What rumors?" Strong Soul asked.

"There have always been those who have been turned away from Avalon. Rawss takes all they can, but you have met Morning Dawn, and you have seen the pressure she is under."

Strong Soul nodded and he continued. "Some are wanted too badly by the allied planets, and some refuse to abide by the treaty."

"If they have safe haven, why would they not want to stay?" Strong Soul asked.

"You haven't seen the other estates, love," Night Star said. "You only know Silverwell."

Stargazer nodded. "Indeed. There are some who have suffered greatly at the hands of humans and will never be able to live beside them in peace."

"So the ones who don't stay on Avalon go there?"

"We never knew. They were simply turned away, or they left of their own accord. It was always hinted that there was some sort of refugee location, either a planet or a fleet, but it's never been confirmed."

"Well, now it has," Night Star said. "From the way the coordinates read, it looks like they drift with the asteroid belt."

"That makes sense," Stargazer said, still pondering the map. "Without the precise coordinates, it would be nearly impossible to locate them in the field, and any who tried would surely not be able to stay for long enough to get adequate readings."

"So how do we get to them?" Strong Soul asked.

"The chip Morning Dawn gave me came with the asteroid motion calculations. Basically a constantly-updating safe path to the fleet."

"So what's the decision?" Strong Soul asked. "If there are others, we should find them."

"It's not that simple, love," Night Star said. "We were on Avalon for much longer than I wanted to be. While Micah would never let anyone inside the Pride without my say so, that doesn't mean that they couldn't have done something to her hull."

Stargazer nodded and Strong Soul felt a glow of concern from the both of them.

"We know they suspect you, Keeper," Stargazer said, "and we cannot afford to lead them to the fleet."

"So we just ignore them? Go on about our business like we don't know about them?" Strong Soul asked.

"For now," Night Star said. "There's a way that we can test, though." He tapped the screen and dragged the route line to a different planet.

"You wish to change your route, to see if it is noticed," Stargazer said.

"Yes," Night Star answered. "With the increase to fuel cost, no captain in their right mind would go this way. If they're watching, we'll probably know within the first two stops."

"Won't you lose money, though?" Strong Soul asked.

"I'll just bill Marcus. He said that he'd cover anything to keep you safe."

"Then I suppose it's settled," Strong Soul said. "We'll do the route for a while and see if someone turns up."

She couldn't hide the disappointment from the other two, though.

"Don't trouble yourself, Keeper," Stargazer said. "The fleet has been there for a long time if the stories are correct. There is no reason to believe that it will not be there when we are sure it will be safe to seek them out."

"How is it that you always know what to say?" Strong Soul asked.

"I simply say what I would expect someone to say to me were the position reversed."

"It works," she said, turning and laying a hand on his shoulder. "I'm glad you decided to come with us, Stargazer."

"You are my Frr'a'narr'ah. I will follow you anywhere."

Strong Soul squeezed his shoulder and she wanted to hell him that she wasn't anyone's mother or queen, but when she felt his pure devotion across the link, something else took over and answered instinctively. Her eyes met his and for the first time, she completely understood what he felt when the Mrr'ouwff connected them.

"And you are my OuwRrrahr'a'tan'ou," she said, dredging the words from some corner of her mind. She couldn't tell if it came from her mind or from someone else's, but the words sounded exactly right. "Your life is mine as mine is yours."

Stargazer bowed his head and a steady flow of approval radiated from Night Star. She laid her hand atop Stargazer's head and held it there for a moment, then drew it back as he raised his head again.

"If you would like, Keeper, Morning Dawn sent a crate aboard for you. I will help you open it."

"Go on, you two," Night Star said. "I've got some things to finish up here with Micah. I'll come down in a few."

Strong Soul reached across the console and squeezed Night Star's hand with a subtle caress along the link and then climbed out of her chair and followed Stargazer out into the main corridor. Though she'd been away for as long as she had, she remembered the ship like it was only yesterday when she was here last. Stargazer didn't seem to have any trouble navigating, either.

"You've been aboard before," Strong Soul said as they walked down the Alpha corridor.

"Many times, Keeper," he said, smiling his own unique soft smile at her. "I was Night Star's partner for a long time when he first acquired the Pride."

"You flew with Night Star? You probably have a few stories to tell."

"Undoubtedly," he replied. "Though much of our time together was merely setting the ground work for what he does now. It is quite difficult for a new spacer to get themselves in the business, and it takes a great deal of work and dedication."

Strong Soul chuckled. "Well, I can see him working hard to get something that he wants, but something tells me that you were the one that all the really hard work fell on."

"It was a fairly equal distribution. The other half of being accepted in this line of work is a certain amount of daring and a refusal to let things get to you. That is where Night Star excels, as I am sure you have noticed."

"He does have a pretty carefree spirit," Strong Soul said as they reached the door to the cargo bay. With a wave of her hand, the door slid open and they walked through. It was always kept slightly cooler than the rest of the ship, as most of the cargo didn't have to be at any certain temperature, and it was easier on the environmental plant to just not heat it that far. Her fur kept her warm enough most of the time, though.

"He has mellowed since the first days after master Marcus gave him his freedom. He has seen many things, and his experiences have shaped who he is, as they do us all."

Strong Soul tried to picture an even more daring-do version of Night Star and she giggled. "Now I know you have some stories to tell."

"I shall tell you," he said, "but another time."

They stopped behind the main batch of boxes and Stargazer looked around in surprise, catching sight of the makeshift archery range that was her escape from the confined life aboard the ship.

"I see that you have not let your skills lapse," he said as he looked down the range at the target.

"It gives me something to do. I got pretty restless on the trip to Avalon." She smiled and ran a finger across the bow that was still where she left it before they went down to the planet. "I don't think I'm going to have that problem this time around, though. This ship is becoming more and more home to me."

"She has that effect," Stargazer agreed. "Even with all the years I've been absent, it still feels like coming back to an old, comfortable and safe place."

As he spoke he looked through the labels on the crates and eventually found the one he was looking for. With a grunt, he slid it out from where it was shelved and lugged it back to the clear area where Strong Soul was watching.

"I never would have thought of you as a protector, Stargazer," she said. "You seem more like a philosopher or an academic."

"Sometimes when one leaves a profession that was forced upon them, they rock, like a pendulum, in the completely opposite direction." He didn't look up from where he was working the seals on the crate. "But as life quite often does, the pendulum usually finds a way back to where it was, or close to it."

"You were a soldier?" Strong Soul asked, eyes wide.

"In a manner of speaking," he answered. "I was trained as a master's guardian. A long time ago, I believed it was my place to ensure the safety of the human masters, and I devoted my life to it."

"But you're free now," Strong Soul said. "That doesn't sound like something you'd want if you were that convinced of what you were doing."

"I was one of the best, trained for combat and enforcement, and I did my duty well. No human master ever died when they were under my protection, though some were close."

He looked up from the crate and met her eyes. "I want to tell you everything, my Keeper, but I am afraid you will think less of me."

"We all have our pasts, Stargazer," Strong Soul said, reaching out to lay a hand on his shoulder. She could feel his apprehension and she knew that whatever he wanted to tell her, she was going to have to brace for a bit of a shock. "You are who you are now. And without the experiences of the past, you wouldn't be here. Whatever it is that you've done in your past, it is forgiven."

Stargazer nodded and bowed his head. When he looked back up, she could see the beginnings of tears in his eyes.

"All was well until I was bought by master Silas. When Night Star said on the bridge that you had not seen the other Masters, it was ones such as Silas about whom he was speaking."

Stargazer took a breath and sat down on the top of the crate, folding his hands in his lap. Strong Soul sat beside him and watched his face as he tried to gather his courage to tell her the rest of the story.

"Silas was cruel and malicious. He hurt his Mrr'tani simply for the sake of his own entertainment. I had such a reputation for discretion and professionalism that I was made his enforcer. I ensured that any traces of rebellion were quashed before they ever came to light, let alone fruition. I know from touching your mind that you are linked with James."

Strong Soul nodded, wondering where the old laborer in Airgidbaile came into the story.

"James was a tracker, and he worked closely with master Silas. He was often at the estate because of master Silas' aggressive breeding program. He did not see Mrr'tani as sentient beings more than animals of labor, and to keep the labor force up, he would purchase female Mrr'tani and force them to accept any male he chose. Their entire duty was to procreate."

Strong Soul felt a flash of anger inside her and she couldn't tell if it was from her or from Stargazer, but it scarcely mattered. There was no excuse for the raw cruelty that was required to do what Stargazer was describing. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders and he lay his head on hers.

"James was the one that frequently screened the new female births for gifts. When he found them, it fell to me to dispose of the fledgling Frr'a'narr'ah. If one of the Mrr'tanahn were found to have given birth to more than one potential Mother, then they were also eliminated."

Strong Soul noticed that the choices of words he used helped to keep himself distant from those about whom he spoke, but it did nothing to diminish the anguish that was buffeting her mind from his. She could tell how much it was costing him to tell her about his past, and she remained silent, though everything in her screamed to say something, to either comfort him or condemn him, but she found that she could do neither at the moment.

"After a time, I started to let things pass. Whispers of dissent, possible plans of insurgence. I didn't follow through on any of it. I was sick of who I was and I finally realized that I needed to get out. The only way for me to do that was to ensure that Silas didn't survive. One night, a small group of workers came to the house. I let them inside and together we found master Silas' chambers."

Faint images came unbidden to Strong Soul's mind and she clung tightly to Stargazer as they flashed before her mind's eye. Views of a fat, bald human waking and screaming in terror and pain. They were too confused to stay for long in her mind, but what she could make out left her sick and almost retching.

She felt Stargazer's hand around her shoulders and he held her. "I am sorry, Keeper. I did not know the Mrr'ouwff was so deep."

"They tore him apart," Strong Soul gasped.

"Yes. Limb from limb. When the morning sun rose, his head greeted it on the casement, looking out the window at the large tree, his pride and joy, decorated with his innards."

Strong Soul closed her eyes tightly and breathed deep, feeling her stomach trying to rebel against her control. She finally managed to calm down enough to keep her light lunch down.

"How did you escape?" she asked.

"In a normal circumstance, the servants would all have been eradicated, as an example to other Mrr'tani who would have done the same. As it was, Silas' son hated him, perhaps more than we did. He shed no tears over his father's death and rather than clean the mess, he had the estate house burned to the ground, along with the tree. When it was done, he released every Mrr'tani on the estate back to the Allied Planets. That was where Marcus found me and bought me."

It was as if a burden was lifted from Strong Soul's mind when the story was finally told and from the look in Stargazer's eyes, it was the same for him. The sagging in his shoulders that she hadn't noticed before was gone and he sat even straighter. He looked into her eyes, saying nothing, and she realized that he was waiting for her to say something.

"Stargazer," she said, "what you've said changes nothing. You are not that Mrr'tanou any longer. You are mine." She looked into his eyes and reached up to put her hands on either side of his face. "Your past begins now, and your future is what you will make of it."

The tears that she saw earlier in his eyes finally welled over and dampened the fur on his cheeks. "Thank you, my Keeper," he said, reaching up to place his hands on her shoulders. "I have waited a long time for forgiveness. It means the galaxy that it's yours."

Strong Soul reached out and took Stargazer's hand into hers and she held his eyes and she reached out with her mind into his, finding the raw and painful place where the memories of what he'd done swirled about in a torrent like a whirlpool. She probed and prodded at it, feeling the pain as if it were her own.

Once she knew it as well as she could, she let loose a soothing calm, focusing it on the spot she'd just found. Little by little, she felt it fading into the background, becoming more like the other memories and feelings that she'd felt inside him since they'd met. She realized that she couldn't take all the pain away, not without changing Stargazer from who he was into someone completely different, but she could dull it, make it less painful.

His eyes widened and his hand tightened around hers. "You truly are everything the stories say."

Strong Soul shook her head. "I'm making it up as we go, Stargazer. I'm just glad I could make it better for you."

"Am I interrupting the two of you?" Night Star's amused voice said from the door.

"Not at all," Stargazer said, looking around with a raised eyebrow. "I was telling Keeper of my history."

"You sure you still want to throw your lot in with us, even after all that?"

Stargazer nodded. "Now more than ever, Night Star. I will follow Keeper of Hearts wherever she would have me go."

"Well, that's good," Night Star said, "because our first stop is the camp Duat."

"Why don't I like the tone in your voice with that name, Night Star?" Strong Soul asked.

"It's one of the work camps. We have some cargo to offload there, but thankfully we'll not be there too long, and the administrator will be quite happy that we're a little early. He's always complaining about being one of the last on the list."

"You deliver to the camps?" Strong Soul asked.

"Yes. Marcus supplies them with a number of things, and he makes sure to keep on the administrator's good side, so if any of the last-chancers come up, then he's got the first bid."

Strong Soul frowned. "I never thought I'd ever see the camps," she said.

"Don't worry, if all goes well, all we'll see of it is the spaceport. We land, open the hold and let them tractor out their crates and then we'll be on our way. I hate sticking around. I'm always worried they'll decide I belong there."

Night Star chuckled, trying to pass it off as a joke, but Strong Soul tasted the sincerity in his mind. It wasn't an easily dismissed fear.

"Well, let's see what Morning Dawn left you, shall we?"