FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Note from author:*The following events happen during the daylight hours of the last chapter.*

Steve couldn't take the stress of existing anymore...

It had been a grand total of 15 1/2 days since Mew had shown up on their metaphorical doorstep and during that time has successfully made his and Trevor's life a living hell. It's gotten to that special point where Steve was looking for things that Mew hadn't yet done, create defenses that would stop Mew from doing such things or at least weaken the blow; only to watch his defenses crumble with the blow still full force if not stronger.

The worse part? Trevor and Steve- both prime cut of some of the most masculine of men you will ever meet- are not crumbling under the torture of pain, threats, or even intentional annoyance or meanness directed at them or anyone around them. Doesn't mean Mew hasn't tried all of these however, but all attempts of any of those options was nothing but just plain laughable.

Any intentionally inflicted pain Mew inflicts when it's not in self defense or dealing with darkness, comes back ten times in strength upon herself in a non-physical way no matter how minuscule; in which immediately causes her to break down in a blubbering and yowling fit. The noise level became so loud one time that neighbors within a three mile radius came to investigate and complain about the noise. The couple pleaded with Mew to turn into an Loudred so they could lie that they were babysitting for a friend (the couple did not want to find out how much press the story of the 'Legendary that decided to play house' would create) while also have a believable explanation for why the loudness of the cry could travel so far. Mew (un)luckily complied but as a result to the change the cries became even louder: the only thing that saved them all from becoming deaf was the appearance of Mew's favorite TV show which weakened the cries enough that the couple could get close enough to busy the mouth with so many sweets that everyone was surprised that she didn't pass out in a diabetic coma. After the incident Mew wouldn't stop apologizing and didn't calm down back to normal until she was absolutely sure the couple was fine and not mad at her.

Threats were just as hilarious to see because her looks and reaction to producing pain made the statements as believable as a 3 year old girl saying that they will beat up a 30 year old man. Intentional meanness or annoyance was very easy to shrug off like a light blow to the arm.

So how did Mew make the couple's life a living hell?

The answer is by being her cute and naive self.

If it was possible to overload on cuteness and stupidity than Steve and Trevor would have been dead a long time ago. At first it was bearable. A "Don't do that!" here then immediately after that was" This is why you don't do that" than all that was left afterward than all that was left was to help clean up or help fix the thing that she broke/ injure someone by accident when she done the thing anyway. Everything was peachy-keen again since Mew luckily learned not to do the thing she had been doing after the first fuck up. Still not everything can be solved with an explanation other than the very weak "Because we said so". For example the couple is still struggling to find a way to stop Mew when she gets the urge to create 'masterpieces' all over the walls and everything else big enough to doodle on with a Smeargle tail.

Still even as annoying the cleanup was this annoyance was bearable since it only happened when Mew was left to her own devices for two long. Something easy enough to solve given that the couple was very well off financially (not the Braxter's level but getting there) and the mall was only about a block away. The problem was Mew's intelligence allowed her to breeze through games without even trying too hard and that was only if the video games could somehow hold her very short attention span. Toys didn't last very long either since she finished playing with them in like 5 minutes despite how much she begged and pleaded for them at the time.

Mew is basically a spoilt brat that needed to be entertained and watched over constantly in order for her to behave. Only this one couldn't be kicked out of the house or disciplined because she would just find a way back in and find creative ways to punish you for punishing her. Like this one time when she tied a firework to Leo's tail while he slept and after the resulting chaos that insured, was grounded from her video games that were very well hidden in the floor boards of the tool shed.

As a result another disaster took place. One day when Mew was 'feeling peck-ish' the feline decided that she wanted some homemade ice-cream (even though there was already plenty of store bought in the freezer). Long story short the result was Mew coating giving most of the kitchen a coat of sticky, white paint with dark brown puddles of melted chocolate on the floor with splotches of it mixing with the cream and milk on the walls. Blender was deemed destroyed and the curtains that were close to the fire that had started was also trashed when' the blender suddenly exploded'. Since then Mew was permanently banned from the area and just to be safe the area was put on lockdown.

Yet that didn't stop the cat from going into the kitchen again the very next time the couple wasn't around in order to create another mess . When the couple returned from an errand they snuck away to do (normally this was impossible but Mew was sleeping off an all-nighter at the time) they had found the locks broken into and chain links were found on the floor like old discarded vintage bottle caps lying at the side of the road: Mew was found playing with the pieces on the floor while eating brownie batter from a bowl; she also ignored the following lecture and the angry actions of her hosts.

Due to continuous similar incidents Mew's games were returned to her in a matter of hours because the couple couldn't take the constant barrage. The moral of the story is Mew did what she pleased despite the emotional eruptions she caused in her wake.

To think the paint, firework, and kitchen disasters are only a small fraction of what Steve and Trevor had to endure on a daily basis. After the last incident the couple started babysitting Mew in shifts when an errand needed ran or one needed a minute or two away from the monster that had began to haunt the house hold. Of course babysitting didn't do very much besides limit the resulting damages slightly but that was better than nothing in the couple's eyes.

The evil demon kitten hadn't even once given them a break either, every step they took she was always one step behind- work, relaxing at home, house chores, going out to do things and enjoy themselves- she was with them every step of the way and hasn't once left to take part in the war she goes on and on about like a broken record. Even slept with them because she absolutely loathes being left completely alone: a social leech if there ever was one.

Mew's sleeping habits, keen hearing, and cat-like curiosity (that she seems completely unable to fight off) made it impossible to do anything sexual without the threat of her scrutiny: something that absolutely terrifies the couple to the core because A) Mew doesn't understand homosexuals at all B)Mew likes to basically dissect everything she doesn't understand while observing and asking endless questions to those that do understand, no matter how uncomfortable those questions make the person they are directed at or the situation they are in. C) Even thinking about the possibility of those innocent and child-like eyes watching you while you stick your dick in your husband's or Pokémon partner's orifices is an instant boner killer.

What's worse Mew even voices her curiosity of wanting to watch the activity happen first hand (and maybe record for further study) and appears to be very excited of the prospect of finally knowing if anal is actually as pleasurable as the 'fake' porn that wants her believe and was to afraid to try out herself. Meaning the couple or their hounds haven't gotten the chance to fuck in 15 1/2 days: usually an impossible achievement considering neither one of them can't even endure even half a day without draining their balls in some way. Something that has shortened everyone's fuses to the tiniest of fractions, fights over nothing now happen almost hourly all thanks to the dreaded blue ball sensation that Mew unintentionally caused.

Safe to say that thanks to Mew the couple have agreed to NEVER to adopt a child together since they were obviously not parenting material and these past couple weeks were sure to trigger PTSD symptoms that would cause them to be arrested from killing said child.

Today during a 'relaxing' trip to the park another incident involving a kid's birthday party, a unintended bag of balloons, a funnel, a jar of red paint, and a surprise Tauros guest: was the final straw that broke the camel's back.

Currently the couple, Mew, and hounds were sitting in the living room in complete and utter silence other than the loud popping of bubbles and the smacking of lips as Mew chewed her huge wad of gum in the most obnoxious way possible, yet was seemly somehow unheard by her; no one knew how Mew obtained the gum nor did they care. Mew was waiting on the incoming lecture and hearing the punishment she was going to pretend to follow for a while but will ignore the second she had a moment to herself for the next couple days/weeks. Meanwhile Steve was slouching on the sofa with his husband -the strongest of the two- crying silently into his chest, the only reason Steve wasn't crying was because he had ran out of tears a couple days ago. The red paint and bit of blood leaking into the fabric wouldn't ruin the sofa because like most (if not all) of the house was already ruined thanks to Mew's exploits.

Resisting the urge to grovel on all fours in front of the all mighty deity in front of him, Steve's voice was still somewhat cracking as he said. "You said something about a job you had for us a couple of weeks ago?"

Mew gasp "Don't tell me you actually drew my name in the raffle?!"

When trying to think of a answer preferably a witty remark Steve's mind went blank but found himself slowly nodding, resulting in Mew prancing around in the air like a child celebrating when they were told they were getting a puppy soon. "Finally, I can get some work done again! You guys were fun to hang around with if only a little bossy and boring sometimes" Mew stopped celebrating and began to pout "Actually now that I think about it this is the most fun I had in forever...gonna miss my vacation quite alot actually...maybe we can do this again once we save the world?"

"NO!" screamed all non legendaries in the room.

"Owww ok ok I get it, really I do. You guys are way too chill and too much of home bodies to hang out with a party animal like me so I get that you need a bit of a break from me."

Steve could feel Trevor mouthing "I'm going to kill her. The first chance I get I'm going to kill her." over and over into his chest as Steve replied "Great that we understand each other"

Mew gave him a thumbs up before saying "Now that's settled let's move onto the payment since thats the most interesting bit and will take less time to go over. when we succeed Arceus is promising you anything you desire so please thi-"

"We just want you to leave us alone" said the other four individuals in the room simultaneously without one bit of thought.

"-nk before you finalize your desire because you only get one wish..." Tears began to pool in Mew's eyes" Do you guys *gulp* hate me that much *sniffle*

"Yes" said everyone besides Steve who sensed the upcoming Armageddon event and lunged forward to stop it "NO! what we mean is we want to have a place that we can get away from public contact and legendary affairs. Like an island with a beach that no one but us has access to and Arceus him-

"Her" Mew croaked as her tiny arm swiped across her face.

"-herself have access to." A quick glance around the room made Steve add "and enough cash to repair our house and things. Is that a fair trade?"

Mew cast her gaze up toward the ceiling as she tapped her chin with a paw in thought "You drive a hard bargain good sir...How about the payments before the job from me since it is kinda my fault that your house was turned into the aftermath of a college party. The island will come later as your reward when we win this war?"

"You keep saying 'when' like you already know the outcome will be in your favor" Said Trevor while lifting his head and covering his face before towards the kitchen, seconds later the faucet turned on telling Steve the trip was to wash the aftermath of his breakdown off his face so that he could look professional again for this business meeting of sorts.

"Pfft we're the good guys, of course we are going to win! I thought you as superheroes would know this already" Mew rolled her eyes as she finally took out the gum from her mouth and levitated it towards the trash can.

"Incoming trash hun" Steve called out

Trevor's voice floated back muffled considering the bit of distance between the two rooms "I see it. Anyway solving crime is one thing; War is a whole other ball game considering there are no sure winners despite moral high ground and stats. Something you should know considering the games you constantly play "

Mew shrugged "Meh our win rates are way better than theirs and plus we have more resources to pull from so there really isn't a reason why we shouldn't win"

"Cocky bastard" Steve said aloud without thinking first but luckily Mew rolled off the insult with a shrug "Probably. But the data we gathered backs me up. Not saying it will be an easy win or anything close to that, just think that the win is already in the bag, just getting there is the difficult part. I'm not the only one that thinks this way. Anyway back to the next subject of this discussion: details of the job...but first should I review the reason of war?"

"Believe me we got it memorized considering you won't shut up about it" Trevor replied as he re-entered the room, Suddenly Steve found a can of beer land in his lap. Steve gave Trevor a appreciative nod and smile as Trevor began slouching on the opposite side of the couch while reaching and using the remote lying on the table to turn on the TV. Considering Trevor disliked TV and was easily embarrassed by the slightest show of emotion (thanks to his frigid military fathers upbringing) it was safe for Steve to assume that his partner wanted to have something to focus on while trying to avoid everyone's gazes in the room: and would continue to do so for the rest of the night unless Steve done something.

Putting down his unopened beer Steve began scooting closer to Trevor while ignoring his current audience and the obvious body language signs of "No, not right now" than Steve forcefully adjusted himself and his squirming husband so that they were now spooning together on the couch. Only when Trevor stopped his half-hearted struggle and was beginning to relax in Steve's grip: did Steve return his attention back onto the legendary that was staring rudely at them in a expression that told him that she was at least trying to hold back the 'D awww' threatening to spill out from her throat like vomit.

At least she tried sometimes.

As Steve massaged the innumerable knots away from Trevor's back and shoulders he said "Everything we know about the world is a lie blah blah blah- Gods had lover's quarrel blah blah blah -Now they hate each other due to something they both did a long time ago blah blah blah- Now they are under constant war that will be settled forever after this one that basically turns the world into one big checker game blah blah freaking blah."

"More like chess but otherwise great summary"

"Whatever. Now tell us what the hell you want from us before my brain explodes from the suspense" Steve apologized when he felt Trevor wince and tense up when Steve gripped him too hard in his mounting anger born from the frustration that he felt towards the bitch wouldn't just spill it out.

"No need for the sarcasm, I'm getting to that part. Actually I'll just show you rather than explain it since that takes less time. I would like you guys to spend all day getting to know her and we don't have that much time considering it's already almost noon." Mew closed her eyes to focus on the move she was powering up for as everyone else's eyes went wide. Everyone that was sitting all leapt to their feet while Steve shouted "What! wait a second we need-!"

But Steve was already too late. Once Mew's eyes snapped open, pupils now completely concealed in a the glowing in white light: the two men and hounds all felt an overwhelming change in vertigo as a invisible hand grabbed their collars of their shirts/scruff of their neck as their bodies and sense of being disappeared with in the flash of light from Mew's Teleport.

---

It had been almost a few weeks since the charges Darkrai had become quite fond of (as well as hate equally as much) had been dumped in basically purgatory for their training; During the time that passed Darkrai has come to learn two things:

1) Once you spend enough time with Elliot, life becomes a tad bit dull without his 'charm' keeping you on your toes.

2)Earning so much favor with your boss to the point that he has complete and utter confidence in your abilities is just as much as a bad thing as it is a good thing. Not only does the workload increases tenfold meaning you're expending more energy but you're also stuck with the same benefits as when the work was smaller.

Too bad Father didn't believe in vacations either or even payment for that matter. Darkrai would complain if he didn't see everything not work, resting, and eating as waste of energy. Course Darkrai did love games but there was always time during and after the game for plenty of fun mini-games. Still just because Darkrai was only considered half alive didn't mean he wasn't prone to exhaustion.

Being tired not only made him perform less effectively but also a tiny bit cranky.

Something the Light One that one minions had captured earlier in the day was learning first hand.

"YOU CUT OFF MY HAND!"

"Yes I did. Nice to know your brain is still functioning a little despite the approaching shock. Now are you going to tell me what I want to know or not?"

"YOU CUT OFF MY HAND AND ARE EXPECTING ME TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS? GO FUCK YOURSELF MAN!"

"You don't have to shout as loud as those airbags allow you. I'm not at the other end of some hallway or a even across the room, I'm like eight inches in front of your chair give or take so please use your inside voice please or Ill rip out your voice box next instead of just your other hand if you continue not giving me the answers I seek. Which by the way I can receive at any time but I rather not reduce human's to unfeeling vegetables because that action hurts my heart-"

_ They are also not very fun to torture later but details details...he certainly doesn't need to know that. _

"-So I'm really doing this interrogation for your benefit." and just because the soldier probably didn't believe Darkrai was capable of doing what he was threatening Darkrai casually strolled into the guy's head and said somewhat dully " Kapeesh?" Causing the man to jump his chair before bowing his head and becoming silent besides a few muffled whimpers and sobs.

"Now what was your unit doing in the area we found you in?"

A pause before the poor man mumbled "Scouting" Finally some headway, the gear that was found on the guy's unit did match typical scouting gear.

"What were you searching for?"

"Locations and weakness"

"Did you find anything?"

There was no reply for a while until Darkrai reached for the cleaver again "Damn it I'm thinking! Not everything is at the top of my head you know!"the man shouted with tears dripping down his face like tiny drops from a broken faucet.

"The longer you spent 'thinking' of the answer the greater chance that what comes out of your mouth is a lie. You shouldn't try to lie to a professional liar, doesn't work and it isn't healthy." With that the cleaver in Darkrai's hand moved up slowly, than stopping at its apex, a pause to give his victim a chance to answer, a shrug towards his slaves watching all the events unfold with blank, bored, uncaring expressions (at first there was smiling and cheering with each new wound on the prisoner's body but gradually after the first several hours, that quickly became boring)before the cleaver came straight down-

"Wait!" a weak-half shout that stopped the blade centimeters away from the wrist. Silence permeated throughout the room until Darkrai said "Yeeees?"

"Do...you know about the tunnel system underneath this base?" Sharp gasp and harsh whispers echoed throughout the ranks of the several guards still in the room.

The tech specialist of the base -a seventeen year old boy named Lancaster ( Lan for short)- voice started to echo from the speakers of interrogation room "There is no such thing. we scanned this place from top to bottom for secrets and came out with nada besides rocks, bugs, and buried metal."

The prisoner chuckled and mumbled "It actually worked..." before clearing his throat and saying a bit louder "Did you take into account that we could have used a material that stopped such waves from revealing that secret?"

A door opens and slammed as a nearby-sounding pair of sprinting feet raced off somewhere, probably the boy to redo the scans. Shame...he kind of was the only one with at least a little medical expertise that wasn't busy with other projects in this sector. "Guess not" mumbled the prisoner as breathed a sigh of relief as guilt rolled off him in putrid waves.

"Wouldn't the explosives Cressilia set off during the night of the takeover collapse those tunnels?"Darkrai suggest casually

The prisoner shook his head. "The tunnels were dug deeper than the blast range and the explosives were incased in thick, heavy, and reinforced metal similar to the doors of the place, but double that. Some of the damage leaked outwards of course but most of it stayed in the box."

Smart.

"What are the purpose of the tunnels?"

"An escape route and an invasion possibility should we somehow lose the base to the enemy. We aren't dumb, we know you guys wouldn't be able to resist stealing the base for your own purposes considering it was way too valuable for both sides to destroy."

"Any plans of attacking from this route any time soon?"

"Oh I think the plan was to hit this spot immediately after the scouting party found that it was still accessible. Considering we already radioed in Headquarters that piece of information ten minutes into the walk back before you guys swarmed us and our temporary base is about thirty clicks away from the exit, I would say... we engaged in an all dash in the tunnels about let's say um twenty to thirty minutes ago?"

The tension in the room was so heavy that it could have been cut into by a knife

The prisoner started to laugh uncontrollably "You know the best part? Funny thing actually: I allowed myself to be caught. Terminal cancer, basically a walking grenade. Don't have one bit of military training, haven't even held a gun outside of a toy laser gun which was when I was a kid. My last wish was to go out in a blaze of glory that the Light Ones were kind enough to grant. My only duty was to buy my comrades time, so take that bitches! HA HA HA You should see your faces! HA HA AH AH AAAK!"A sudden great pain appeared to seize the prisoner in his chest: The male's body began to thrash around in a seizure as it was ripped apart by Darkrai's psychic energy with agonizing slowness before Darkrai finally allowed the victim's body to explode outward, consequently coating everyone in the room with gore.

"Sorry... Temper got away from me, didn't think of the repercussions of that action before I did it." mumbles of "no big deal" and "glad you did it, bastard deserved every second of it" echoed for a moment before Darkrai cleared his throat and said "Shower to get that gunk off than help your fellow comrade's as the relief force. Meanwhile one of you send word to all units from anywhere close that another party is about to erupt at home so they need to get their asses back here pronto to assist entertaining our incoming guest."

An unexpected voice came knocking on Darkrai's mind and Darkrai listened to it as his slaves went to do what he ordered.

"Will you be assisting us Master?" asked guard whose name and abilities were at this current moment nameless to Darkrai. Darkrai said nothing for a bit as he argued with the second voice in his head over which new development was the most important to his attention, when it was apparent he had lost that battle Darkrai allowed himself to sigh before replying to the subordinate waiting for his answer "No. Apparently something else way more important has come to my attention, I will be leaving now: Excuse me"

Darkrai found himself experiencing déjà vu as glided quickly through the halls away from the screams of torment, fury, fear, explosions, and whatnot instead of towards and preferably at the center of the banquet and fun as per usual.

This cloak and dagger shit is getting old really damned fast Darkrai growled under his breathe as he phased through a boarded up hole in the wall and into the portal that would take him to the next problem.

---

Celebi sighed for like the millionth time as the ear plugs in her ears and the mountain of pillows on top her head respectively couldn't quite cover up the loud music being played in the one out of 3 bedrooms of the cabin they-Celebi and her charges- were staying at. Besides from the music being played almost 24/7 at the highest possible volume and the full/empty plates of food resting there was barely any sign that someone else lived in the cabin.

Scream until there's nothing left

So sick of playing, I don't want to anymore

The thought of you's no fucking fun

You want a martyr I'll be one

Because enough's enough, we're done

_*_Note from author:Listen to this song while you read this part: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ME6RtQgBMSI for no other reason besides that its a cool thing to do that sets the mood. Plus I deem it necessary my minions!*

The same song had been on repeat for at least three full play-throughs, following the girl's usual routine there would be at least three more be she gets tired of her obvious favorite. T'was a shame too because Celebi thought it was an ugly song...ugly and distasteful band(s) really if she told the truth.

I wonder if I can ask her to turn the thing down so I can finally take at least a nap...I keep trying to tell her that she had the thing going on for days but I don't think she can hear me over gir- boy's! music . Celebi once made the mistake of calling the singer a girl before she was 'accidentally' locked out of the room since she uttered the words. I would just use telekinesis to turn the darned thing off but I still feel bad for what I di-

Celebi's mind once again went back to the thing that still summoned an explosion of overwhelming guilt to consume her every time she even half-thought of it, even though it was becoming not a problem anymore; it still took all Celebi had to hold back the tears that threatened to spill out.

"I miss Mew! If she was here she would know what to do!" Celebi wailed as bright pink light spawned right above her position of the couch. It wasn't until heavy things started squishing her that Celebi became was aware that she wasn't alone in the room anymore.

"What is that high pitched squealing noise and why is it so loud!? Are you keeping a dolphin here against its will?" yelled a gruff male voice

Intruders? thought Celebi as she began powering up for a psychic blast so she could pick up the girl and flee.

"I think it's supposed to be music, the singer sounds vaguely human!" said a different deeper gruff male voice. Celebi was about to release her charged up attack when she heard:

A familiar laugh could barely be heard over ear-deafening racket "Very funny guys, you better get used to this because I'm sure you will hear a lot of it during the job"

"MEW!" screamed a light green blur (the fact that it was heard clearly over the loud music was quite a feat) as a un-seeable force launched Steve (the only one standing) almost face first into the floor before his conditioned reflexes allowed him to catch himself.

Trevor, Leo, and Spike weren't so lucky...

Since they were atop the pile of pillows the thing was hiding underneath. The trio were unfortunate enough to be at the perfect angle so that they were able to be sent flying across the room in random directions. Spike crashed into the TV and managed to go through the screen the electrical current and sparks causing all sorts of painful yelps and howls to add their symphony to the music still playing. Leo's flight path was the luckiest of the three because he had only hit the wall adjacent to the TV but also suffered from the misfortune of being knocked out cold when his skull took the brunt of the impact. Trevor by far went the farthest, he sailed all the way down the hallway, and crashing through the door that the music was coming from. Seconds after the door was reduced to splinters: the music finally stopped abruptly. A few moments of silence took place before a high screech echoed throughout the house as the steady thwack of something blunt starting smacking against a fleshy surface and another deeper tone of yelling began.

Steve took a second to briefly face palm before racing to investigate the new racket. Meanwhile Mew finally recovered from Celebi's tackle glomp; feeling somewhat irked that the surprise glomp scared away one of her nine lives still did her best to casually push away the face currently rubbing at Mew's with so much affection that it almost hurt.

"Hi Celebi...I would ask if you missed me, but you already answered me"

"I-missed-you-i-missed-you-oh-my-gosh-i-missed-you-so-much!"

"Celebi I can't understand you when you get like this. you know this."

"why-did-that-job-have-to-take-so-long-how-don't-know-what-to-do-with-her!"

"Ugh Celebi breathe gosh darn it!"

Celebi drew a sharp intake of breath than wound of taking a lot more when her panting turned to wheezing. Mew rolled her eyes as gave her friend a hug and a back rub in an attempt to curb the enthusiasm back to exceptional levels.

Meanwhile Steve entered the bedroom to find his husband being beaten by a teenage girl seemingly the exact same age as Elliot, the weapon of choice appeared to be an electric guitar that judging from the violin that lay at the foot of the bed was the first thing that the girl could grab onto.

"You broke the only thing with decent speakers you fucking asshole!"Thunk Thunk Thrack Thunk

Despite the enthusiastic and merciless way she was trying to beat Trevor into a pulp: the girl looked very sickly and that fact was extremely obvious without all the medical equipment making the small bedroom into a pseudo hospital room. At just a glance Steve could see there were dark circles around her sunken in eyes, being only clad in a hospital gown, pale skin that looked like it hadn't been once touched by the sun's rays, and lastly her hair was recently shaved bald making identifying her sex rather difficult.

Was that a glossy black Mew tail fluffed up like an angry cat swishing behind her?

Not the weirdest thing Steve seen these past couple weeks but it was pretty damn close...Now that he thought about it he did kinda remember hear Mew say that the Mark of a Light one was a tail that matched the individual's hair color. Steve couldn't help but shiver at the prospect of eventually owning his own considering he and Trevor both shared a mutual hatred for cats. But as long as it was just a tail and no other weird feline qualities (or even turn into a cat on the next full moon like the one and only anime he would admit watching )Steve probably could handle it if he tried very hard to ignore it.

Anyway back to the current situation at hand; whatever the girl's infliction it was obviously very serious to the point that if she continued her current activity of beating Trevor senseless, things probably turn life threatening for the both of them. Which promptly spurred Steve into the action of wrestling the instrument away from the pissed off sickly girl with a surprisingly strong grip.

A few patch up jobs, a promise to buy a better boom box AND a amp later: everyone found themselves (besides Leo and Spike who were in their Pokeballs because of the space issue) squished inside the bedroom that the girl was basically chained to thanks to her illness. The girl was still glaring daggers at Trevor who was also glaring with equal passion with his one good eye, after the left eye became so swollen to the point he couldn't open it enough to see out of it. What worried Steve slightly was Trevor's hand would sometimes travel to the spot where his gun would be if he was wearing his holster.

Mew cleared her throat to grab everyone's attention then said "Though the circumstances were...unpleasant, it's kind of nice we don't have to go through that whole breaking the ice thing. " Mew focused on Steve since he was the only one actually paying attention to her words "Steve. Trevor. Meet Jayne. This girl is your one and only assignment and priority for this war." Mew slid her gaze over to Jayne her had finally broke her staring contest with Trevor to stare at Mew with an eyebrow raised, Mew saw this and smiled really big as she said "Jayne meet your new temporary mommy and daddy!"

Steve's and Trevor's brains were trying to attempt a hard reset as they stared at Mew in a tense, slack jaw expression.

Jayne's eyebrows raised up just a barely perceived fraction "You mean I'll be staying at one's house one day and then the other's another day right? Weird but I guess that's cool, as long as they live in the decent sized city I will be ha-"

"No! I mean they do live in a city but they are not friends, they are a happily married couple. You will have a blast I promise! If you want a review of the treatment of their guest I can give you a written firsthand experience. Sadly it doesn't include wild sex parties because I swear these two have no sex drive no matter how many attempts or plans I tried to get them to fuck" Jayne's eyes went wide as she her head whipped back and forth between Mew and the still frozen couple: face growing redder and redder every second till it looked like a tomato. Yet embarrassment could not quite hide the hints of lust and the small smile in the girl's features which in turn caused Mew to beam with self-gratification, First smile I seen on that girl's face for months and it only took subtle cues of manly-man on man sex to do it! I'll make friends with her yet, this I swear!"

A ear splintering thunder clap and the standard rumbles that usually follow such a noise echoed in the distance that caused two things to happen. Firstly Celebi began to grumbling angrily about having the peace and quiet she had been craving snatched away crudely from her finger tips. The second thing was the roars of two individuals who were apparently woken up by the thunderclap.

"BABYSITTING? THAT'S THE JOB YOU'VE WANTED US TO DO SO BADLY?! ANY DUMBASS CAN DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT SO WHY IN THE HELL DO YOU WANT TO WASTE OUR TALENTS ON SOMETHING THIS FUCKING MORONIC! IT'S NOT EVEN POLICE WORK!"

Mew used a finger to clean rub her sensitive eardrums as she followed the two storming out of the room huffing and snorting like a pair of pissed off Tauros. "So you two can do that adorable couple thing of being able to say the exact same thing in the exact same time. I think I deserve an apology for being lied to."

Mew was surprised her fur didn't catch fire from the writhing glare that was immediately focused on her as both turned around to take a swing at her but wound up punching the air instead. "I was just teasing you dumbasses so don't get all Primate on me when you should be used to all the little things that make me fabulous"

"We told you a thousand times not to use the 'f-word in our presence-" Mew had spammed the already very much disliked word while she lived with them, nothing personal just really loved using the word for some reason. "-you fucking fuck brained shit pile of a pussy cat!"yelled Steve who lunged for Mew's throat only to go tumbling face first into the hallway as Trevor screamed "So why don't you go get fucked by a herd of wild horses in that wide open cunt of yours AND LEAVE US THE HELL ALONE!" as he made a lunge for the only gun that wasn't left at the couple's home to fire almost desperately at the pink feline who nimbly dodged the bullets as if she had done the activity a thousand times before with a non-nonchalant and bored expression on her face (and no this isn't the first time Trevor has shot at Mew, even Steve had once or twice)

"Um Mew-" Celebi began in a quiet whisper as she hid underneath the bed with Jayne's who stared at the scene in a mix of terror, excitement, and awe on her expression as if she couldn't comprehend the events currently unfolding in front of her (what normal person could?)

Mew yawned as she stopped moving to float downward on top of the bed to look down at her friends "Don't worry that last one was the final bullet"

_ Click click click click _ "Fire dammit!" Trevor grumbled as he hit the gun against his palm before realizing what the problem was and then lunging for his partners pockets for the spare clip only to have them swatted away by the hand that wasn't busy trying to stop the nose bleed acquired from face meeting floor."You've done enough, she got the point." growled Steve

"Who said I was trying to make a point? I was trying to make her dead!" replied Trevor's own voice cracked growl. The emotion that Trevor was experiencing that caused the voice break from wasn't quite clear since his back was towards everyone as he left the room. The reason and the emotion became obvious not even seconds later as the first crash of something breaking echoed throughout the whole cabin.

Steve rolled his eyes and followed, the pairs voices rang out throughout the house as Celebi, Mew, and Jayne all glanced at each other before staring at the doorway as if just curious what the crazy couple would do next "I know hun, I know. Let's leave and forget this incident ever happened...without breaking anything else please... That table that your holding didn't do anything to you."

"Why it makes me feel better! I was actually going for the TV at first but I saw that was already broken and this was the closest thing"

"Still changes nothing hun. Now put the table down and let's go."

Mew inhaled and said loud enough for the couple to hear "The reason why no one else can do this job is because Jayne is a now recently made orphan whose parents are just another casualty in a war they didn't even have a clue about. If she somehow gets adopted despite her disease and troubled past the next parents will die as well simply because they will eventually get in the way. Everyone that is powerful enough to protect the King's piece from those out to get her are way too busy with the offensive and reacting part of the war that no one can protect the thing that is the most important. Your levels of potential power and intelligence, if awakened and trained; matches those almost equal of Celebi's and even mine probably without our secret weapon AND you have more than enough financial stability to easily hold Jayne's disease back long enough from killing her until we can finish the extremely slow healing process that will eventually cure her :which by the way I already done the math wouldn't even make a dent in your savings. If you say no than the world is completely and utterly doomed because there is no one else on Earth besides Arceus herself that I would trust this job to."

The house was utterly silent besides the storm going on outside for a several minutes until footsteps slowly made their way back into the room. Both of the agents looked rather mournful as they approached the feline like two kids who regretted words and actions they said and did during a temper tantrum. Steve was first to break the silence but his gaze was downcast as if afraid to look anyone in the eye as he mumbled "That does sound important...we're sorry for flying off the handle"

"It's fine. I get that you two been repressing your testosterone for weeks now and it's made you cranky, Don't give me those looks! I may be a mind reader but even I didn't have to resort to that to solve what was going on with you two. I may behave childish but I'm still almost eons older than you two...if you tell that to anyone I will have to kill you"

The gulps the couple made was audible.

"So I know exactly how people work...mostly...when I pay attention...which is almost never" Mew shook her head vigorously "Anyway it's actually mainly because I've been spiking you're food with testosterone tablets with the hopes of finally overloading you with enough of it that your self control would break and you would get rid of it in a nice fun way that would bring us closer as friends instead of a destructive way."

"You.. evil little manipulative bitch!" muttered Trevor as he stared at Mew flabbergasted

Mew ignored him and continued "When you guys never broke I started pondering: as a result I've come with the only hypothesis that made sense. Turns out I was right, a little wounded but correct. But thanks to this experiment I was showed just how much self control and willpower you two on top of your other positive qualities which made me triply sure you guys are the men for the job!"

"Fine I give, I'm up for the job...what about you Trevor?" Steve said with a smirk

Trevor was smiling as he gave Mew a surprise hug "You have good morals and intentions and are actually very intelligent but those qualities are masked by childish behavior, naivety and just a bit of insanity. I have to say you would make a fantastic agent with that poker face of yours. I'm in."

"Aww thanks Tre!"

"Don't mention it...ever...to anyone."

"Whatever floats your boat Tre. Anyway let's move this conversation to the living room shall we? It's a little cramped in here. Jayne you stay in here and get some re-" Loud snoring was heard from underneath the bed. "Ok then...C'mon boys help me find Jayne's file so you will know what you are in for. Celebi will you be a doll and fix Jayne's sleeping arrangements and put in her meds?"

"Aye aye capt'n!" So everyone besides Celebi and a sleeping Jayne left the room to search for the elusive file.

It seems everyone was finally on the same page.

"Any ideas where we could start looking?" asked Trevor as he shuffled through the filing cabinet in the office/laundry room of the cabin that sat right next to the living room.

"No idea, Cressilia was the last one to have it but I have no idea where she put it. Heck she could have taken the file to copy it. I'll ask her when her royal highness finally graces us with her presence for another round of Jayne's treatment."

Steve was in the dead center of room and was walking towards a desk that caught his eye in the corner "Is the file a certain color besides manila and is there a la-" Suddenly a dark blur shot out from the floor and a fist collided with Steve's chin in an apparent uppercut that had Steve floating in the air for a brief moment before a very small Shadow Ball impacted the poor man on the side of his head which forced his body to spin like a windmill down the same hallway his husband had flown down earlier that same day. This time with a much louder crash as Steve went through the wall that had tried to stop him.

"STEVE!" Trevor screeched as he willed his body to move, but as the muscles in his body tensed up to sprint towards the door and to his husband's side when suddenly a familiar face appeared within inches of his face. Human and Pokémon stared hard at each other for several moments before Darkrai ordered "Sleep."

Trevor was down like a sack of bricks.

Darkrai was staring at the unconscious human's form when Mew chuckled and said "I'm surprised you didn't kill them. Is the big bad ole' Darkrai losing his edge?"

Darkrai turned to face the feline with a raised eyebrow and outright ignored the 20 or so knives being pointed directly in his direction "I killed the fi-"Darkrai stopped and seemed to look elsewhere before saying "hmm your right, the first one does appear to be in a banged up shape but otherwise very much alive...wouldn't be getting up anytime soon though. As for the other one-" Darkrai motioned with his head before chuckling slightly "Someone got to him before I did and his messed up face surprised me to the point that my mind blanked. I can fix that right quick if you want me to though"

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, You are VERY outnumbered at the moment with about three here and another on the way. Now tell me why I shouldn't just fling these at you repeatedly until you're turned into Swiss cheese for putting my friend into a wall." Mew's voice waivered from fury as every follicle of her fur stood upright and her eyes were consumed in a fire that warped her entire features into one into a furious jaguar instead of a cute and fuzzy kitten"

"Cute." Darkrai snickered as he turned his back to Mew then said "I'm aware of the numbers and am not bothered by them. If you want to know why you should come outside. Which you will like a moth to a flame thanks to that famous curiosity of yours"

"Asshole" Mew spat as she fired her wave of knives , the projectiles made it within two inches of Darkrai before they were swallowed up by a portal. Sensing her immediate doom Mew lunged forward and downward to avoid the knives that tried to bite her in a few more places besides her ass.

"See you soon kitty" chuckled Darkrai as he casually strolled out the front door before shutting it with a soft click. At the same time a portal made of bright pink light suddenly spawned in the middle of the room as a mix of a yellow, cyan, and pink came shooting out of it as it made a beeline towards the door.

Only to be bounced off by the invisible barrier Mew created when she saw the portal.

"Don't even think about it you reckless idiot" spat Mew, fuming as she levitated the knives back into their designated holders...or at least tried to because her fury appeared to be so great that the psychic energy holding the knives was to shaky and violent for the delicate task.

Cressilia whirled around and looked within inches of snapping and using the blade she wielded on her own ally "But-"

Mew whirled around with a hiss "I don't care if Santa himself is through that door! We have injured to take care of, a important girl to hide, AND we still have no clue who we are up against. I sadly can't afford to lose you if I want to win this fight"

Cressilia looked towards the closed doorway as she was looking beyond it (mostly likely was) "You think there is more than just Darkrai? I can only sense just him"

Mew's facial expression transformed into a knowing smirk "That would be a duuuuh! Just because you can't sense them with your mind don't mean they aren't hiding or with someone that messes with our 6th sense" her expression shifted back to her scowl "Know thy enemy and battleground first before rushing in you jackass"

"My bad...Rude and vulgar as ever I see." Cressilia said with a sigh as she began preening her wings and other feathers as she waited for her superior's orders.

"What can I say: annoying Ice Princesses bring that side out of me, doesn't help that I'm so pissed that I'm seeing so much red right now that I think I popped a blood vessel in both my eyes. I could also probably rape and pillage at least 20 towns and villages and still have enough rage that would make a pack of wild Gyarados look like Magikarp." Finally Mew managed to put the last kitchen knives back where it belonged "now where did I put that first aid kit"

"A very vivid, brutal, and much unneeded picture you are projecting there...Do you need a moment with Celebi before the fight so you can think straight?" While Mew dug around in the closet in the bathroom, Cressilia decided to do something useful instead of just standing around and bathing herself. The human male's still unconscious body started to glow slightly from a purplish pink glow before it was lifted carefully than began to follow Cressilia as she made her way toward the bedroom she was quite familiar with: As the avian entered, the other man's body also came in through the shattered window and both were then laid together on the bed once Jayne (who was awake thanks to all the noises) quickly leapt from it as fast as she was able.

Mew came from the rear with first aid kit in toe as Celebi began to immediately work on most wounded one with her Healing Pulse "Careful sis I know you want to help him not die but we both know how much that move takes a lot out of you and I kind need your strength in this coming fight, which is why I grabbed this thing"

"Sorry sis...wasn't thinking, what do you want me to do?" It was extremely obvious it hurt Celebi not to use her power to immediately seal up all the men's injuries in a instant. Not a surprise considering that's just how she is.

"Just use your move on major wounds to make them minor enough for the bleeding to be stopped with bandages, toilet paper, and towels. Cressilia would you be a dear and wake up Mr. Sleepy Head once we get him patched up?"

"Of course. Can't do anything about Steve though considering his body kinda went comatose because it couldn't take the pain...course with full body compound fractures and a concussion I can't blame it."

"That bad huh...I'm going to do rip Darkrai several new one for this I swear it! To answer your earlier question Frosty: The aromatherapy will probably be for nothing because the rage will just come rushing back when I see Darkrai's disease ridden cunt face, but I'll still at least attempt it.

Cressilia chuckled with amusement as her head glanced toward Mew with a small smile on her lips "Easy tiger that bastard is mine and mine alone" her tone, even though it held a tiny hint of amusement; betrayed the seriousness of her statement however.

There was no amusement whatsoever in Mew's tone as she snickered "You wish; I'll try to save you a few pieces Frosty"