FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

A Disney Merry Christmas Part One: Rallying The Troops

"You know Simba," said Timon as he joined Pumbaa and Simba on a border patrol around Pride Rock one sunny morning, "I think of how Pumbaa and I survived in the jungle. Then I compare it to living in the savannah with you and the lionesses." "Really?" Simba replied, "How does it compare to you?" "I think I prefer life in the savannah," the meerkat mused, "no one tries to eat you for one thing." "And the grubs are fat and juicy, just the way I like 'em!" Pumbaa added, licking his lips as he thought of his favourite foodstuff. "Besides," Timon continued, "we have our very best friend, right here with us. What could be better?" "Lunch!" The trio said together. "Merry Christmas!" A voice carried over the savannah. High pitched and excitable, there could only be one owner of the voice. "Hey Mickey," Timon called, waving to the mouse as he approached the group, "how's things?" "Bad," the mouse replied. He shrugged his shoulders a little and kicked up some dust before going on. "Things are bad back at HQ. They have forgotten what the magic of Christmas is." "Uncle Walt's in trouble?" Pumbaa asked. "Uncle Walt died before we were born," Timon replied. "What can we do?" Simba asked, sensing Mickey had other things to do rather than listen to Timon and Pumbaa squabble again. "Everybody's assembling at the studio, we're all going to remind them all what Christmas means." "The birth of Jesus Christ?" Pumbaa asked. "No," retorted Mickey with an indignant tone to his voice, "merchandising and commercialism." "Hmmm, consumerism," Simba sighed. "Okay Mickey, I'll assemble the lionesses and together we shall join you on your quest." "Assemble the lionesses?" Mickey repeated. "Yea," Timon quipped, "they come in KIT form. KIT form! Geddit? HA HA! KIT form," the meerkat had to wipe a tear of laughter from his eye. His mirth subsided quickly with the fact no one else was laughing. Oy!

*** Donald Duck had been given a task much like Mickey's had been. He was his normal bright and cheery self as he hunted for Alice, in Wonderland. "Find Alice again Donald," he muttered to himself as he kicked small stones from his path. "Save the studio Donald. Everybody is counting on you Donald. Phooey!" He decided to tackle the Queen of Hearts first, to see if she could be of any help; she was the queen after all. The castle had been easy to find since the queen's voice provided a perfect point to aim for. She was in another one of her rages and the poor cards had been at a loss to please her as they held a royal picnic in the castle grounds. "OFF WITH HIS HEAD!" Her voice bellowed throughout Wonderland. Donald was close enough now to see her. A card was trying to plead with his queen. "Your majesty," he whimpered, "you have already beheaded him. We can't behead him twice." "Very well," muttered the queen, "off with YOUR head!" "Blimey," though Donald, "she is cross." Clearing his head of all negative thoughts, which took some doing, Donald approached the Queen of Hearts. He did not get very far. "You again!" The queen pointed an accusing finger straight at Donald. Every card stopped and looked at the duck. "Where is that kid then?" She continued, "Where are you hiding him?" "Kid, your majesty?" Donald asked, confused. "The little brat with the giant key thing," she replied. "Cards, find him. Off with his head!" "Wait. Your majesty!" Donald called, bowing slightly as he addressed the queen. "How would you like the chance to behead the one person who's caused you so much trouble in recent time?" This caught the queen's attention. She put on her sweetest face and smiled at Donald. "Pray, continue," she coaxed. "Well," Donald said, "there is much trouble back at Headquarters, all the staff have forgotten the true meaning of Christmas." "You don't mean..." The queen gasped in horror. "Yes!" Donald said, "Shoppers are having to resort to buying over the Internet to get the large plush toys!" "And if the parcels don't arrive in time...?" The queen was on tenterhooks. "Kids will be entertained by..." Donald took a dramatic pause. "...Pokémon!" It was at this moment the Queen of Hearts fainted. Donald chuckled quietly to himself; he was reasonably confident he had secured the queen's help. Now all he had to do was find Alice.

*** "Gawsh," Goofy thought out loud as he hunted for the enchanted castle, "sure is spooky in this forest. I hope I find Belle and the Beast soon." The trees seemed to be making faces as Goofy bravely stumbled his way though them; each face looked as if it was a twisted display of evil and terror. Atmospheric forests have a nasty habit of doing that. Goofy wished the forest was a bit lighter so he could see the trees for what they really were instead of the imagination spawned creatures his mind's eye saw. Still he went on through the woods, shouting loudly at every minor noise or movement; a brave coward in a hostile environment. Getting to the gates, Goofy found them strangely open. Against his better judgement he ventured inside and made his way up the path to the castle. The small collection of clouds overhead began to form large groups of darkness, darker than the forest. To add to everything, the gates decided to shut themselves after Goofy had passed through. Goofy knew he could not take much more. "Goofy!" The sweet voice drifted through the air like a hot knife forging a path through butter, "what are you doing here?" "Belle," Goofy replied, visibly relived, "Ain't you the sight for sore eyes." "Look at you," Belle soothed as she took Goofy's coat and invited him in, "you look scared out of your wits. Come, I'll get Mrs. Potts to make you a cup of tea. She does enjoy entertaining her guests, you know." Belle led Goofy through the warm, if somewhat spooky looking, castle to the main rest room. A large log fire burned brightly and three comfortable chairs sat before it. In one chair sat a handsome young looking gentleman, a small dog sat on his lap enjoying a fuss and cuddle from his master. "He's safe then?" The gentleman asked. "Yes," Belle replied as she went to find Mrs. Potts, "he is one of us." The gent sighed with relief. "Sorry to scare you with the gate, " he said, "automated security system. We had to install it after repeated attacks by the peasants. They still think I'm the beast. Can't do a dashed thing about the forest though. I'm James, by the way." Goofy was about to reply when a bell sounded on the wall. "That will be the dinner bell," James explained. "Please, join us for a meal. I insist; it would be no trouble. The kitchen staffs do enjoy cooking for our guests, you know. Goofy allowed James to show him up to the dining room, all the while wondering why half the people in this supposedly French castle were English, and the other half were a very poor imitation French.

*** Snow White was not a happy lady. There she was, enjoying her 'happy ever after' with Prince Charming when a message from Mickey arrived in her Inbox. "You have... One... New D-Mail," her computer had told her as she was happily surfing the Internet. A new Disney internal email, just what she always wanted - not! Still, she read it, as one does when one receives an email from one's boss. "Dear Snow White," the email had said, "we need your help. Everyone at Disney HQ has forgotten what the meaning of Christmas is. I am gathering all the Disney cast members together so we can storm the offices and remind everyone how important consumerism is at Christmas. Please can you help gather everyone together by fetching the Dwarfs? Hope you are having a great time, look forward to reading your reply. Love and kisses, Mickey. PS, get here as soon as you can; leave now." Printing the email on her laser printer, Snow White jumped on her 1100cc horse, said goodbye to her prince, and rode to the little cottage of the seven dwarfs. She made good time, cursing the lack of a proper road to their home; it was so hard to ride a motorcycle through the grassy marshland. Dismounting from her steed, she knocked on the Dwarf's front door. No one replied. This was not a problem for Snow White; she knew all too well that they never locked their front door. While she waited for her vertically challenged friends to return, Snow White used her PDA to email a reply to Mickey, telling him she was on her way, but could he explain where 'here' was. She also used her time to do a spot of washing up and cook some soup. After all the effort she had gone through to teach them to eat it properly, she wondered if all this time away had see them lapse in to their old ways. As afternoon turned to evening, the all too familiar sound of the Dwarf's song came blaring from the forest. Snow White had to be impressed at the noise they were making; it was louder than how she remembered. It was, the portable stereo she had given them for Christmas creating half the noise, with the Dwarfs singing along to it. Each dwarf, dressed in overalls, high visibility jacket, and hardhat, seemed to be as happy as a pig in mud as they came to the front door. The fact their home had been entered seemed not to bother them; knowing they were all armed with a pickaxe might have given them a little extra confidence. Once the initial 'hello' and greetings were over, Snow White sat everyone at the dinner table and served her soup. Putting on their best airs and graces, the seven dwarfs scoffed down their soup exactly as they had been taught, without slurping once. Snow White was impressed and, inwardly, a little relieved. She then handed around the hard copy of the email for everyone to read. "We have to go at once!" Doc exclaimed, his glasses almost falling from his face as he flustered to get up and leave. "Why bother?" Grumpy asked, folding his arms indignantly, "what has HQ ever done for us?" "This," said Snow White as she whipped out her iPod and let Grumpy listen to the remixed 'Heigh Ho' song done for the 'Dance Dance Revolution Disney' soundtrack CD. Grumpy's face turned black. "We leave at dawn," he said, "some one is going to pay for that!" No one dared argue with him.

*** "Who are you?" Donald was getting nowhere in his hunt for Alice, and the caterpillar sat in front of him was being no help whatsoever. The oversized bug took a lung-busting draw on his hookah before enclosing Donald's head in yet another cloud of blue smoke. That was the last straw for the irate bird. Shouting something unintelligible and extremely impolite at the caterpillar, the duck turned tail and left. "Stupid dang creature," he muttered to himself as he waddled down a forest path. "You'll find that about most of us," a disembodied head said, appearing out of nowhere. Donald shrieked in fright. The Cheshire Cat laughed, as the rest of his body materialised in to view. "Barely a coherent thought between us." Lying back on the tree branch he had positioned himself upon, the striped cat began to juggle two of the tree's fruit, using his head as a third. Donald wandered about the merits of a detachable head, as you do when confronted by the Cheshire Cat. "Can you help me find Alice?" He eventually asked, tiring of waiting for a lull in the head juggling activities. The cat grinned, his smile far too wide for Donald to trust. "Now that is a puzzle," was the reply from the feline, as he stopped playing games with his head and started spinning the tree's fruit on a single claw. "I mean, I am the eyes of the forest," he continued, fading from sight briefly leaving only his eyes visible, "and the ears of the trees," he added, turning into an ear for a couple of moments. "But," he finally said as he popped back in to normal form, "I've not seen Alice for a great long while." "In that case," Donald said in his best matter-of-fact voice, "you have two options. You can either go to the Disney HQ and speak to Mickey, or you can help me find Alice here in Wonderland." "Pray tell why I would want to do either?" "Because HQ have forgotten the true meaning of Christmas; because you want to appear in a 2 disc DVD Special Edition; and because you want kids to play with toys of you instead of Yu-Gi-Oh Trading Cards!" Donald said, a sharp nod punctuating the end of his sentence. The Cheshire Cat shuddered at the moment of Yu-Gi-Oh, recovering quickly in the hope Donald had not noticed. "Fine," He sighed, as if it was putting him out greatly, "go and see the Mad Hatter, he will join you on your crusade, I'll find Alice and bring her to you." With a giggle and a puff of magic purple smoke, the cat was gone. At last Donald could relax, he had past the Mad Hatter's abode a little while before the Caterpillar. Finally things were slotting in to place.

*** Things were going well for the canines of Disney. Tramp had been sent to find a cast of Disney animals. He left Lady, Jock, and Trusty with the pups, including Scamp, telling them to go to HQ. Then he went off alone. On his way to find Pongo and the Dalmatians, he had bumped into Dodger and friends. The group fetched Oliver and Georgette before heading on. Dodger stayed with Tramp, and together they covered a lot of ground. Tramp was pleased that his old Street Dog instincts remained more-or-less intact, and that keeping up with Dodger was quite simple. Thanks to getting lost at the airport, the canine duo had ended up in Paris, however as this afforded them the chance to collect Duchess, the 'kittens' and Thomas O'Malley's Jazz Cats the mistake was seen more as a serendipity. Stowing away in a lorry while the cats went to the airport, Dodger and Tramp headed towards the Channel Tunnel. Soon enough, they had crossed the borders in to England, where the Dalmatians would be only a short hitchhike away. Jumping out at Folkestone and sneaking aboard a train headed for London, the pair of mutts hid themselves away under seats until the end of the line at Kings Cross Station. No sooner had the train stopped a tidal wave of businessmen and teenage backpackers attempted to push past those trying to exit the train, in order to get the all-important 'double seats'. "What he have here," Tramp called to his travelling companion as they shuffled under the seats to get to the doors, "is a typical case of English politeness." "Impatience," Dodger nodded, "I notice this a lot at home too. Everyone is more important that those around them." "That gives me an idea," Tramp grinned, a glint of mischief in his eye, "shall we make ourselves the most important on this train?" "Following your lead, collar neck," Dodger said, preparing himself to leap in to the midst of the crowd. Both dogs jumped together, blocking the end of the carriage by the door. Once in position, they screamed and yelped as if they were in agony. All motion stopped as the passengers looked down to see what the noise was. "Oh my," an elderly woman shrieked, "You've injured those poor dogs. Get back you brutes, give those dogs some room." "On three," Dodger whispered. Together they counted, and then bolted for the doors. Leaving confused passengers behind them, the canine pair made it outside with ease. "They're a nation of animal lovers, the Brits," Tramp said, as the pair headed toward Hyde Park. "I thought they were a nation of shop-keepers," Dodger replied. "That too," Tramp laughed. Spirits were high as (by more fluke than skill) they entered Hyde Park. Before long, they were asking other dogs if they had seen Pongo or his lady. "Used to know them," an Old English Sheep Dog said, "then they moved out of town to some Dalmatian Plantation, or something. No idea where it is though, sorry chaps." "That's blown that then," Tramp said, "they've moved and we don't know where they are. Guess its back to HQ for us then, Dalmatian-less." "Ha," Dodger laughed, "you give up to easily. We do still have one life line." "Not..." "Yes!" Dodger said, with a hint of menace to his voice, "Cruella De-Ville." "Oh," Tramp replied, "I was thinking more the Twilight Bark." "Good thinking," Dodger said, "far prefer that than visiting Cruella any day. Let's go find somewhere to sleep, we're going to be awake at a very late hour."

*** Dinner with Belle and James was a splendid affair. Goofy had never eaten so well, or so much. He thought he was going to burst. The dining staff had ensured his every whim was catered for. "That," Goofy said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, "was, was Mmmm!" "You like it?" James asked. "Oh yes," Goofy exclaimed. "Now," said James as he poured himself a glass of port, "what brings you to our castle?" "Erm, my legs?" Suggested Goofy. "No," Belle laughed politely, "why did you come all this way?" Goofy's expression fell, he'd almost forgotten the reason for his being at Belle's castle. "Gee, I'm sorry, but I have bad news," he started, looking for the words, "HQ have forgotten the true meaning of Christmas." "How?" Belle's voice was quivering; this was like corporate betrayal, and she had not expected it. "They can't do this to us, after all that we've been through for them." "Mickey couldn't agree more," Goofy agreed, "which is why he's sent Donald, a few others, and me to round up all us characters and storm HQ's building. Together we can get them to remember us." "Us?" James asked with a sour tone to his voice; the sales of his post-Beast era merchandise were far exceeded by his Beast era sales. "Come on James," Belle said walking behind her lover and tracing a finger under his chin, "I know you're upset that people preferred you as the Beast, but that doesn't mean I don't find you delightfully attractive now." "Oh, Belle," James smiled as Belle ran a hand along the side of his face. "Gawsh, guys." Goofy muttered, quickly averting his gaze from Belle, and blushing violently. The lovers jolted out of their moment and flustered briefly. "Still," James continued as he regained his composure, "I don't see why we should help them when they have failed to do good by us." "Think of the children," Belle suggested, "after all, who is going to see our stage show. How many adults who aren't either old or gay will go to see a Broadway musical unless pestered by their children?" "True," mused James before calling over his shoulder, "Mrs Potts, can I have a cup of tea please?" "Certainly, sir," came yet another English voice from the adjacent room, before the sound of someone busying themselves with the creation of hot beverages could be heard. "So, Goofy, what are we to do to help?" Belle asked. "Could you round up a few of the other Princesses?" Goofy replied, "Snow White should be getting a small army together..." His instructions were broken by James' laughter. "A small army," he laughed, "they're dwarfs, of course it will be a small army!" "JAMES!" Belle shrieked, trying to stifle a laugh herself. "I'm sorry," James wiped a tear of laughter from his eyes, "do continue." "Well, Mickey's gone to the Pride Lands to gather the animals, so Nala is another princess you can cross from your list..." This time it was Belle's snorting interrupting him. "Nala is not a princess. She's a lioness." "Not to mention she's a Queen," James added. "I always had Timon down as the Queen, really," Belle muttered, "I hear he still has that hula skirt." "Figures," agreed James, "I always thought there was something fruity with that warthog." "Hasn't Nala had a cub anyway?" Belle asked, "Stupid name, sounds like an orange juice..." "Guys," Goofy called, fearing the couple were veering from the plot once more. "Sorry Goofy," Belle said, "stay the night, and we'll go first thing in the morning." Goofy agreed, and so they all retired to bed, James armed with a cup of tea provided by his faithful servant, and Belle wondering if Nala's daughter would 'be her dog'.

Will Donald ever find Alice in Wonderland? Will Grumpy get a chance to murder people for appalling EuroDance remixes of classic Disney songs? Will Dodger and Tramp ever find the Dalmatians? Is there something going on with Timon and Pumbaa? And will anyone remember about Aerial and the cast of The Little Mermaid? Find out in the next exciting episode of: A Disney Merry Christmas!