Why am I different?
A story for anyone who has had to deal with being 'different'
Randall was a young fox. Small, wirey, and a little bookish, he was hardly an imposing figure. A good student, he had had occasional problems with bullies, but it had never seemed to his parents that it was much of an issue. That is, until one day last week.
"Hi, Randall!" his mother called, as she heard the door open
She heard no reply from Randall, just the slamming of his bedroom door. She put down her kitchen work, and walked toward his bedroom. The door, usually open was shut.
"Randall, are you OK?" she inquired, cautiously.
"LEAVE ME ALONE!"
The vehemence of her son's reply surprised her, since he was not usually disposed toward that kind of anger. His mother decided to let him be, as his father would be home soon. She went back to preparing dinner, wondering what was going on.
It was about an hour until her husband came home. He immediately went to the kitchen, and kissed his wife.
"Smells good. Hey, where's Randall?"
His father noticed the absence of his son, since he always greeted his father at the door. They had a good relationship, and did many things together.
"In his bedroom. He came home in quite the mood. Went straight to his bedroom, and hasn't been out since."
When dinnertime came, and Randall still did not appear, both parents were concerned. Even when he was upset, Randall never missed dinner. For a small fox, he could eat his own weight.
"Dear, what should we do? I'm really worried."
"I'll go talk to him after dinner. "
The rest of the meal was very quiet. Both parents were worried as to what was going on. When dinner was over, it was already dark out. As mother cleared the dishes, dad went to talk to his son. Walking down the hall, he found the bedroom door closed, but unlocked. He turned the knob quietly and walked in Randall was seated on the bed, staring out the window, not acknowledging his father's presence.
Now, fox are not prone to display emotion. More often, they go off to sort things out on their own. When you live in the city, this is somewhat more difficult. In time, his father spoke.
"Trouble at school?"
After some time, Randall nodded. Sensing the severity of the problem, his father let the silence hang in the air for a while. Unexpectedly, Randall turned toward his father.
"I HATE BEING A FOX!"
His Dad nodded.
"Pretty strong stuff. What makes you say that?"
"I hate being different. Weird. Picked on. Beat up. Having my tail pulled. Fox jokes. I just want it to end! I'm sick of being weird! I just want to be like everyone else........"
Dad nodded.
"So, it's a fox thing? Humans don't get picked on?"
Randall thought on his father's question for a while.
"Well, not exactly....."
"What do you mean, then?"
"Uh, there's this skinny kid, the queer. He gets it pretty bad"
His father nodded.
"There's this girl that can't breath so well. She's always going to the nurse. People make this noise like she makes when she can't breath..."
"OK"
"Then there's the fat kid, uh, and there's weird Earl....."
"Anything else?"
"Well the dark humans don't sit with the light humans......"
"So, it doesn't sound like it's a fox thing at all. It's being 'different'; different isn't bad, you know. Can you imagine if we were all alike? If we looked alike, talked alike, liked the same things? I can't imagine anything more terrible!
It was Randall's turn to nod his head. Dad didn't say anything. He just sat there, looking out the window with his son. It was Randall who broke the silence.
"Dad? Why are people so mean?"
His father turned, so that the two fox were now face to face.
"Some are born that way; others are taught that way, mostly though, I think it's fear....."
"Fear?" Randall repeated "they don't seem scared to me!"
"Ah, but they are! Son, you've seen sheep....."
Randall nodded. He had often seen sheep on trips to the country.
"When sheep are scared, what do they do?"
Randall though.....
"Uh, they get in a big group....."
"Right you are! Now, do you know what that has to do with what we're talking about?"
Randall shook his head, knowing that an answer was about to come.
"Sheep don't have much by way of defenses. So, at the first sign of danger, they get in a group, to look big, and to blend in with each other."
"So, you're telling me that humans get in big groups 'cause they're scared?"
"That's exactly what I'm saying. They're scared, so they try to be like everyone else, so that THEY won't attract attention."
"Why did the Great Spirit make us different?"
"What a wonderful question! I guess because the Great Spirit has a purpose here for each of us. We're made different so that we're prepared for what the Great Spirit has planned for us."
"Dad? What has the Great Spirit have planned for me?"
Randall looked to his Father with great anticipation. His Father put his hand on Randall's shoulder and spoke.
"Son, I have no idea what the Spirit has planned for you. I'm not sure what the future holds for me. None of us do. But, the Great Spirit has told us that the world is a whole, and that we are all pieces of it, and that each and every one of us fits in, and has a place here."
"So, I'll never know?" Randall asked, clearly disappointed.
"Oh you may. Many have a very clear idea of why they're here. But, others may never know...."
"How can that be?"
"Ever throw a stone into the water? You see ripples that go out further and further, until you can't see them anymore. That stone is your life. There are 'ripples' coming from everything you do. You just don't know . A hundred years from now, those ripples may still be out there...."
"if the Great Spirit is all powerful, then why is life so hard?"
" Son, life IS hard. You have no idea how hard it is. Before your life is over, it's likely that you'll experience some pretty awful things. Nothing is as hard as life is. Nobody escapes that. But, it's not about avoiding adversity, but overcoming it. Overcoming adversity makes us strong, so that when we are tested, that we will be up to the challenge. Remember, bravery isn't the absence of fear, it's being scared as Hell, and moving forward anyway."
Randall sat there taking all of this in. His Father spoke.
"Son? Never apologize for who or what you are. NEVER do that. If anything, people should apologize to YOU, if they try to make you someone other than who you are. And one more thing; your mother and I love you, and we'll always love you and be proud of you."
Dad stopped talking, and went back to looking out the window. Randall spoke.
"Dad? I think I've done enough thinking for one night...."
His father nodded.
"You must be hungry. I think Mom put away some supper for you. Want to eat?"
Randall smiled and nodded. His Father scooped him up in his arms, and carried him away.
This story is dedicated to everyone out there who is 'different', which is to say, all of us.