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Despair hit him with meteor like strike, crashing upon his already very vulnerable heart and because of that he fell down upon his knees with a hard bump. In his mind it sounded like the bump was echoing in a dark and huge room where all his sadness was stored. He grabbed his chest with his slightly shaking paws and frowned in mentally pain, slowly starting to shed the tears that gradually gained in intensity. Yet again he experienced what he feared the most, a fear that went into his very core of his bones, nearly a phobia as one might say.

Cory was his name and his origin was a Chilean fox terrier and because of that he was quite small compared to his fellow friends. Instead he had a true heart that was friendly and fondly, nearly submissive. His friends loved being around him and enjoyed his presence praised and claimed him as the pillar of their everyday. As you could read he was experiencing something that could be compared to an apocalypse like incident for his world and let the truth be told, it might have already sealed his coming demise.

"Why? Why?!" Cory's burst out echoed as well in the huge and empty sports hall where they were in. It rang in his ears which were pointing down to reflect what he was feeling at that moment; he felt very and deeply gruesome "Why, Ben, why also you? I thought... we were supposed to see a happy ever after! Why?!"

Ben was his current boyfriend who was a golden Labrador and thus higher and probably stronger than Cory. They met through the internet and found out that they lived not so far from each other, figured it wouldn't harm to try the things out. They established a lovely relationship that seemed to work out until recently.

"Cory!" said a confused but also nearly frightened Ben "What's up with you? You... you aren't usually like that. What's happening? What do you mean 'also you'?" Ben felt a really heavy, unexpected guilt build up and got more uncomfortable than he was for 5 minutes ago. Ben had trouble with Cory being a bit secretive and thought that it would maybe be better if they were not together anymore. Ben felt that he didn't know Cory that much after all even after all these months of being together as an adorable couple, idolized by other people and had seen them as a model for their own relationships.

Few tears manage to drop to the floor as Cory had bowed down of suffering. Ben reactively kneeled down and laid awkwardly a paw upon the short fur on Cory's neck. Cory had hard time calming down and it took several minutes to take control over the crying and many rubs and comforting words before Ben said with empathic voice:

"Tell me, Cory, tell me what's wrong and... I'll try to support as well as I can..."

Cory sniffed and dried his eyes before he replied with a deeply affected and shaking voice:

"I haven't told you... but I have had many boyfriends before you and... they have all... left me... sniff... I've kept it as a secret in fear of you... also would leave me because of that... in fear that you also would be... one of them... I can't take it anymore!" Cory burst out crying again and Ben was unable to grasp the information at first which was showed with him having a slowly progressing realization and a great startled expression painted on his surprised face. While he was processing with the heavy information he rubbed on Cory's back which was giving small burst movements because of the hiccups Cory was now doing. This was quite abnormal and surrealistic for Ben; to experience Cory cry that much and that intense as he always found Cory to be carefree, friendly and overall a kindhearted person. He never expected him to be left who knows how many times before him. His throat was laced and he clearly didn't know what to respond with after this revelation. He let the situation go on for a bit, continuing to rub Cory's back.

"It is as I feared... I'm nobody! Nobody wants me in the end... not even if I'm that kind... friendly... whatever my friends say about me... I'll always be left behind, left alone because I am who I am...I think too much. Not even you, Ben, who showed promise, could stand... against my heavy thoughts"

"Cory... maybe we can try again and make it work out... I feel really terrible and I want... sigh... to make up with that" said Ben with sympathizing and caring voice. He had had wonderful times with Cory many times after all and maybe they can overcome the obstacles that they were struggling with at the moment "Maybe we can be together again and see if we can solve this problem"

"You... mean it? You... sniff... think we can work it out? You... are not going to leave me?" Cory's crying had finally begun to die out and he felt a glimmering star shimmering in the dark room in his mind, giving a slight hope that might work after all with Ben. Nobody had before tried to regret their choice of leaving Cory so this was a one special moment for him. Where the meteor like strike had crashed in his heart it was now quickly healing than expected and the future for the crashed heart seemed bright.

"Perhaps there is a hope for me; perhaps he'll be different from the others who've failed me. I deeply want it to be that way because... I love him so much"

"Yeah, Cory, let's try and make it work" Ben embraced Cory sensually where Cory somewhat fell into the embrace in exhaustion of his cry out. Ben gave a gently kiss on the back of Cory's head and hugged him tightly "Firstly, Cory, you have to tell me more about yourself and how you felt throughout your life"

"You're fine with it?" asked a surprised Cory who now was looking at Ben's worried eyes "You're not going to think that... I'm a failure?"

"No, Cory, of course I don't. This just needs to be dealt with and then we can go on and make it work for us both. I'll try my best. Come, let's go home"

Throughout the week that came after the reunion it did work out for them both and they somehow managed to struggle through the obstacles they had been faced: Cory told Ben about his former boyfriends and how he felt terrible at the times he had been left by them one after the another, told Ben that he had been fighting a hidden but great depression which was a result of these experiences. Ben took it quite well and tried to help Cory recover from these painful and exhausting experiences by being very supportive and be there much of the time for him. But in the last few days Ben had been acting weird and didn't give much time to spend with Cory as he used to; Ben left Cory earlier than planned, said he needed to do something that was necessary. Cory tried to be understandable and kindhearted about Ben's actions but he was suspecting Ben to be tired of him again and didn't mention it for him for the same reason he didn't tell Ben about his past. For the ones Cory loved he often put himself as a secondary priority to give benefits to his current lover, his primary priority. But this time Cory didn't want to sit idle and see what the future would bring by doing nothing; he wanted to act and see what Ben was actually doing in these absences. After a seemingly wonderful time being together at Cory's home where they had been cuddling and seen a sci-fi movie Ben was about to go home earlier than planned again.

"So what will you be doing, B?" asked Cory Ben in curiosity with a careful voice, afraid of being busted for suspecting him.

"I'm just going home to do homework, hun. We can go on a date sometime in a restaurant or a cinema if you feel for it. I'll pay for it" Ben smirked and looked at Cory that made Cory blush slightly through his short fur. Cory adored Ben's ability to make him timid over for him even after being together for months, an ability that the others didn't possess.

"You sure you want to pay...?" after Cory saw a revealing smile and a nod from Ben he said instead "Can we go to cinema to see the latest sci-fi film? It's supposed to have premiere next week... if you're not tired of sci-fi movies that is"

"I'm fresh for it, hun. Just name the week day and we'll figure it out. Come here"

Cory walked right in front of Ben and Ben pulled him slowly towards his body and gave a kiss on his forehead. Cory felt melting inside and he closed his eyes of gratefulness even though he suspected him for things he didn't even know were true.

"I love you, Cory" Ben looked at Cory who was smiling a true smile.

"I love you too, Ben" replied Cory and hugged Ben "So I do mean something to you"

"Of course you do, silly" Ben then kissed Cory in his muzzle and afterwards said "You need to stop having these inferiority complexes - you mean something to everyone! They see you as an important part of their lives and to me you are the most important person in the world"

Cory knew this was true but he couldn't help but having them because he had this depression for years were his former boyfriends had failed to help him in his needs. He truly wanted to be more positive or just more realistic about how he saw himself. Too many times he had been too hard on himself when it came to his wellbeing and he had been hiding his depression quite exceptionally since Ben didn't know about this before that day he wanted to intentionally to end their relationship but took it back when he realized that Cory was his love of his life.

"Now I'll go home" said Ben finally and took his jacket on, it was fall after all.

"See ya, B"

After Cory made sure that Ben wouldn't be able to see him following him he shadowed Ben for the first time. The afternoon sky was orange red and trees were painted with the beautiful fall colors; red, yellow, light brown and dark brown. The wind blew ever so slightly and made the leaves, which had detached themselves from the mother tree, dance silently in the air when a breeze went through the neighborhood. Cory hadn't learned to appreciate the small things in the environment and surroundings but he still enjoyed the changes from each season. Now shadowing Ben was the current thing that mattered for Cory and he wanted to know why his beloved boyfriend often went earlier than usual. When Ben reached the cross that would determine whether he was going home or elsewhere Cory discovered that Ben turned to the wrong way and went into the city where they lived nearby. Ben went through the park that was one of the usual routes they took when they went to the city.

"He lied to me... I am nothing worth to him after all... Maybe he has found another one... probably much better than me... he'll leave me like the others... No! Don't jump to conclusion! First I need to find out what he's doing downtown"

_ _ As Ben walked through the park he stopped momentarily to view the beauty of the park and inhaled the smells of the autumn through his nostrils; the smells of fallen and flying leaves with a touch of cool of minimal water drops in the wind. Then he walked straight to the part of the city where restaurants resided and it seem that he was goal-directed since he immediately went into the first restaurant to the left. After Ben entered the eating spot managed Cory to sit outside of the restaurant unnoticed but was still able to see Ben's back. He was much tensed and extremely nervous, he wanted to know what his boyfriend was doing in this restaurant but he felt scared, frightened and afraid at the same time in fear of discovering something that would shake his bones again as it had done so many times now.

Cory looked closely at Ben where Ben seemed to know where he should go and as Ben was about to go out of sight he stopped in front of a beautiful girl whom he seemingly was very happy to see. She was a collie and was quite well dressed in some sort of business suit. What Cory could see, they enjoyed being together and seemed to time to time talking about serious subjects. And what was that? A kiss?

Yet again he felt the strike from above but now much stronger and far more destructive. What he seemed to witness was something that could explain Ben's absences; he was meeting a girl and maybe had two relationships ongoing.

"He's... cheating on me. I'm not his priority... not important for Ben... therefore he want to find someone who can be what he needs... I can't live with it! I can't!"

_ _ He left the restaurant in a run and was shedding tears. He didn't know if he was noticed by someone but he didn't care, he just needed to get away from there or just disappear from the world... that was always an option. Cory decided not to ever experience these kinds of devastating occasions ever again and to be sure of that he needed take his own life.

"No more... NO MORE! I've had enough... my heart can't take this anymore... I don't want to live here where all the pain is... where all the reasons of being alive just result in negligence!"

He ran home in tears but no crying, ignored what his parents tried to say to him and got worried sick after they found what Cory had done: He had taken Tylenol, something that caused irreversible liver damage if take an overdoses and it seemed he had sealed his death. After his parents called the ambulance and after he yelled that he didn't want to live anymore he was hospitalized immediately on an emergency level. His parents clearly knew about his relationship with Ben and informed him about Cory's situation against Cory's protests of not want to see him. Ben went immediately to the hospital and as he entered the room Cory's parents were crying but left so they could be alone together.

"Go away! I don't want to see you!" yelled Cory in pain and tears "You're the worst one I've ever experienced as a boyfriend!"

"What? What do you mean? What have you done? And what have I done?" questioned a very worried and confused Ben who sat beside Cory. He didn't want to look directly at him.

"You've cheated on me! That's the worst experience I've ever had! I don't want to be here anymore! Now go out and..."

"What?! Cheated on you? I've never cheated on you! Sure you're a person where I need to give extra energy to be able to be with you but I would never cheat on you"

"LIES! I saw you and that collie in that restaurant! You sure had fun time together - more when you're with me for sure!" Cory was breathing fast.

"Miranda? That's just a person I know from the psychiatry. I figured that I needed support to manage my time with you so I could be with you more! I thought also of including you so you could get the help you need"

A grim realization came to Cory; Ben had not been cheating after all but tried to make his time with Cory more qualitative by going to a professional. But he had already sealed his death as the doctors had stated that the liver was so much damage that it would results death in few days.

"What have I done?" asked a desperate and sad Cory to himself and to his boyfriend.

"Oh Cory, I should've told from the start! I don't want you to die but..."

Another kind of despair and fear hit Cory face; he was regretting his choice and was in great remorse. But what can he do in the few days he had left? What would he do with Ben in the last time in his life with his boyfriend? They had the best time of their life and tried to enjoy every moment of it without trying to worry about the coming demise.

Cory was about to die as his body wasn't able to take the damage he had done upon himself but he was dying happily since he came to have the best time of his life.

"Ben... I love you and I don't think that I could've found a better boyfriend that you" Cory voice was weak and as to contrary to the few days before this he didn't feel the pain as he was numb - moments before the death.

"I love you as well Cory and I'm so sorry that..." replied Ben who was holding Cory paw in his own. He couldn't feel any strength in Cory anymore.

"Don't be sorry... it was me who did it... but promise me that you'll have the time of your life as we could have together"

"I... I..."

"Promise me you'll try..."

"I'll try... Cory...

"Thank you for everything..." were the last word of Cory right before he met his result of his suicide attempt but in the other hand he had the best time of his life where he had the quality he needed with his misunderstood boyfriend.

"I was a fool but a kindhearted fool"