Casting Call

Story by TirAmahn on SoFurry

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I work at a newspaper and see "punchlines" like this constantly, and can't help but consider the implications. This particular one I saw about 10 months ago in a cosmetics ad, and had considered commissioning someone to write a story giving them nothing more than the tag line.

Now that I've started doing writing of my own I also decided to check out the forums for the first time and I spotted the Back to Pundamentals contest: check it out https://www.sofurry.com/forum/view/thread?id=35225

This is more of a double entendre than a pun so may not qualify, but I don't care, it's still funny and double entendre can be puns as well. The contest gave me an excuse to come up with a story to fit this absurd tagline. There's also a little stealth pun near the middle that I hadn't intended to write, but laughed when I realized it. Knocked this out real quick during one night at work, and edited it when I got home.

I know that alligators don't have hemipenises, but that's what I felt like writing...


Ann sat reading the script she'd just been handed while the stylist did her job preparing the vixen for the commercial shoot. When she reached the last line she couldn't help but burst out laughing at the absurd coincidence of such a line... considering how she had managed to land the part, she couldn't help but wonder if the director had made a last second change... nah.

The stylist scowled and tried to tell the clearly inexperienced vixen to sit still for the fifth time, she really wondered how this average looking inexperienced girl had managed to land a part in a cosmetics commercial. A shout called out cutting her styling work short of what it needed to be, "Model to the set! Model to the set!" she really hated when the director didn't give her the time she needed, especially when she had someone like this to work with.

Ann tossed the script onto the makeup table and, still laughing, ran off. The stylist's nose twitched catching a familiar scent in her wake. She looked down and saw a telltale wet circular spot slowly expanding on her chair. Rolling her eyes she watched the vixen leave the dressing room, she knew which casting director was working today, that explains how a girl like that landed this roll.

Two hours earlier Ann had sat in a waiting room surrounded by countless beautiful women. Compared to each and every one of them she was nothing; less curves, dull fur, and no real experience with modeling. She had done a bit of modeling for students at a local fashion school, but that was about it. The other girls knew that she didn't belong here. Most just gave her a quick glance before scoffing and walking off pretending she wasn't even there, but she could overhear a few clearly berating her and a couple had tried to confront her.

She was really regretting her decision to let her friend talk her into trying this, but she was desperate. She hadn't had any work in months, and her rent was 2 weeks past due. If she didn't make some money right away she'd be evicted and end up out on the street, this was her last hope.

Her friend, who she'd made a few years ago at the fashion school, had managed to land a job as a designer for the modeling agency that was holding today's casting call. She knew the situation that Ann was in and had offered to do what she could to help her out. That promise had been almost a month ago. Then this morning Ann had gotten a call from out of the blue telling her to be here for this particular casting call.

So here she was, surrounded by women that made her look like she was already someone living on the street. She didn't know how her friend's plan could possibly land her a job over these goddesses, but she had to try something. She huddle up in a corner by herself quietly waiting for the director's assistant to call her name. She hoped it'd be soon, the quicker this embarrassment ended the better.

"Ann... Ann?!" She almost missed her own name being called, "Ann Reyes! You're next!" She scurried through the room towards the mare calling out her name. The mare raised an eyebrow as she ran up, clearly upset from having to call her name multiple times, but she also read the same questioning look the rest of the women in the room had been giving her. That look said one thing, 'gimme a break...'

The door to the casting director's office closed behind her as soon as she entered. It was clearly a working office, devoid of personal touches. The wall to the right was covered in a photo studio backdrop, various cameras both still and video were set up on tripods complete with shaded studio lights. The wall behind here was covered in headshots of countless models, all of them more beautiful than her. The lone piece of furniture in the room was a large oak desk. It was piled with neat stacks of manila folders. Behind it sat a large shirtless alligator, his head was down, studying an open folder, Ann could see her own headshot paper clipped to it. This had to be Theo, the man her friend had sent her to see...

"Let's see here..." He began without taking his eyes from the contents of the folder. "Ann Reyes. 26. Fox. Modeled clothing for fashion students." He flipped a page, "Hmmm. No work with cosmetics. No acting work. No professional work." He flipped back to her photo on the cover. "And I have to be honest... your looks leave a lot to be desired for modeling. Virtually every other candidate has more to offer than you. But I am a fair man, I give everyone their chance." He set down the folder and looked at her for the first time. "So tell me, Ann, why should I cast you for this commercial?"

Kate had warned Ann that the man was curt and brutally honest, and that she should be just as honest in return. But, that wasn't the only information Kate had given her about him... "Well, to be honest," She found herself getting nervous, "I've been out of work for several months."

"Yes, I see can that on your resume," Theo interrupted her tapping a finger on her file, "That's not a problem, but I do have many more candidates to see. Please be brief."

She was really doubting what Kate had told her, this guy clearly just wanted her out of his office. "Sorry, well, I'm out of money and desperately need a job, so a friend of mine who works for the agency," Theo looked back down at her folder, flipping to the back where the references were, "told me about this casting call today..."

An eyebrow raised, "Kate?" He recognized the name on the resume. "Yes, she's a fine clothing designer here, in fact I was the one who hired her. She got you this interview?" His demeanor seemed to soften a bit. "Did she tell you I would be the one conducting his casting session?" Ann nodded nervously. "I see... and... did she give you interview tips knowing that?"

She swallow hard, best get this over with, she really needed this job, any job. Kate promised her that there was a way to guarantee getting the job with this particular director. He had a reputation within the agency... one that virtually no one outside was aware of.... he would hire anyone that had sex with him, regardless of looks or qualifications. It hadn't come back to bite the agency yet, and he was one of the founding partners, so no one had bothered to question that particular hiring practice. Plus who wants to piss off a giant alligator?

Ann silently walked across the room and joined him behind his desk. She kneeled beside him and slowly ran a finger up his muscular scaly arm; looking up into his eyes for any sign that she was misinformed and making a huge mistake. His huge elongated head gave a single nod.

That was a yes, Kate had been truthful... at least about the sex part, she was going to go through with it. She stood back up pulling her shirt up over her head as she did. Then undid the clasp on her skirt dropping it to the floor, on Kate's insistence she hadn't worn panties.

Theo looked her up and down the same way he studied the headshots of perspective models. Nodding again he licked his lips and pushed back from his desk. Reaching down he opened the front of his pants revealing his rapidly rising penis.

Ann gasped, she'd never seen an alligator, but had heard descriptions of hemipenises before. It was wide and flat folding open in the middle. It looked like it had been splayed open. The base was a single round shaft before it split open, and the top third was divided into two distinct heads.

Theo smirked, he got that reaction often. Mammals were often surprised when confronted by reptilian equipment.

Ann tentatively reached out to touch it, but was stopped by a large hand wrapping around her wrist. "No," he shook his head, "No foreplay. I'm a busy man. Just climb up." He spread his legs wide giving her two convenient foot rests either side of his massive member.

She nodded and climbed up on him. She straddled his lap, one foot on each of his legs, her back to his chest. She squatted down, lowering her sex towards the strange double pillar of flesh, how would that work?

He leaned forward whispering in her ear, "I hope Kate also told you I like a tight hole?" She nodded and looked down as he reached below her grasping his penis and holding it erect, giving her a target to land on. Again she gasped, when he'd grasped the twin shafts they easily folded back together, offering a single thick length with two heads mashed together. It glistened from a surprising amount of precum already leaking from the twin tips, running down the combined shaft.

Ann knew she couldn't take too long or he may get impatient with her and she'd loose her chance. She swallowed her trepidation and squatted, closing the final distance between them. His hand guided his length to kiss against her ass. Anal was nothing new to her, but this strange double headed beast was certainly the largest thing she'd attempted to take back there.

She hesitated for a second when the double head kissed her ring, but a large hand coming to rest on her shoulder encouraged her to keep going. The continuous flow of precum coated the entirety of the shaft acting as an amazing lube. The muscular ring resisted the wide double head for a moment, but they proved to be remarkably pliable. Squishing together with a sudden pop, they both gained entry to her bowels.

The ease and speed of their entry caught Ann by surprise. Before should could halt her sudden decent half the double shaft was embedded deep within her. "Good, keep going," he whispered into her ear. Recovering from the initial shock of the sudden entrance she leaned back into his chest, feeling his large smooth scales against her back. She continued her decent on his shaft, the hand on her shoulder a constant guide, the twin spires reaching deeper into her depths than any she'd taken before.

In no time she felt his scaly crotch contact with her fur covered buttocks, she had taken the whole thing. Panting, she tried to wait a minute to adjust to the fullness, but he had other ideas. As he had said, he was a busy man, and he had no time for that. His two giant hands grasped beneath her upper thighs and lifted her halfway off his shaft before suddenly letting gravity pull her back down.

He quickly developed a steady rhythm, lifting her up and down his shaft, occasionally bucking his hips up to meet the decent. She clenched her eyes shut grunting each time the twin shaft penetrated her. She would endure this if it meant a job.

The constant flow of pre did not subside one bit once the shaft was embedded within her, but rather increased. She could feel the fluid collecting inside her, running out along the shaft and creating a pool between them which squelched and splashed each time they meet, the fur on her ass mated and sopping wet. If this was the pre... what would the climax be like?

She didn't have to wait long to find out. Her eyes shot open when she felt the eruption inside her. It felt like a powered enema gurgling cum so very deep inside her, spreading warmth through her entire stomach. Thankfully, he only fired two large shots before his climax abruptly ended as suddenly as it had begun. He lifted her off his lap, the engorged shaft popping out of her stretched hole. "You've got the part." He said setting her back on her wobbly legs, and gestured towards a 2nd door leading out of the office, "That leads to a dressing room, get cleaned up. The shoot is in two hours."

Her ass sore, she hobbled through the door he'd indicated. As she closed behind her she heard him call to his assistance, "Clarice! Send the others home, the role has been cast."

So here she was, the cameras and lights trained on her. She turned from the mirror to face the camera, puckering her lips to distribute the freshly applied lipstick. She felt her stomach gurgle and her hole puckered releasing a small glob of cum from deep inside, keeping her hole perpetually moist. Behind the camera she spotted Theo watching the taping, a smile crossed her lips at the absurdity as she recited her final line.

"The satin pencil drenches my pucker in moisture AND stays on for hours!"