Everyone's A Critic
#1 of Writing
An introduction of sorts to Charlie, Vanessa and Amelia, who I am sure will make many appearances.
"Shit, SHIT, SHIT... fuck."
Failure was not an option.
"24th time" A voice calls.
If there was one thing Amelia was entirely incapable of doing, it was controlling a vehicle within a video game, a rather disturbing fact to many close to her, as she also happens to possess a drivers license.
"30th time, actually."
"I don't think so"
"Listen wise-ass I topped math in high school;" an irritated lynx growls across the kitchen just a few metres away turning her eyes away from the tv to face the stag opposite, frozen with a rice cracker halfway to his mouth. "I think I know what the fuck I'm talking about."
He frowns, motioning towards her with his rice cracker briefly, but the venom in her eyes redirects it to his mouth; better he insert a rice cracker than his own foot.
"Is no-one gonna offer me any of those potato chips?" a voice comes from the floor near the tv.
"I thought you were busy with Far Cry, Amelia?" Vanessa asks, less a question, more an acknowledgement that the terrier had managed to withdraw herself from her playstation exclusively for food, certainly not to complete her assigned chores.
Although 22, living with Amelia was like living with a 15 year old boy.
Charlie, on the other hand, at 19 and a half, was teased mercilessly for his "low carb diet", responsible choices and tidiness; despite which left him unexperienced in his first year after moving out, thus leaving the effective matriarch, Vanessa, 23, to assure the continued survival of herself, The Mutt, and Mr Clean.
Stumbling from 3 hours of solitary inactivity, Amelia made her way towards the counter, eyes narrowing at the seaweed rice crackers presented as the only sustenance on the table.
"You said there were potato chips" she whispered, eyes wide.
"I said no such thing, in fact I completely ignored what you said."
Amelia sighed angrily, growling as she rolled her head backwards to show her displeasure.
"Grr yourself, asswipe, if you'd bought some when you went shopping you'd have some."
"Vanessa what the fuck you told me I couldn't get shit that wasn't on the list" Amelia argued, her ears tilting backwards and hackles beginning to rise, prepared for an argument
"Stop complaining and eat some rice crackers, they're good for you, plus they aren't as bad as the cucumber smoothies."
"Those cucumber smoothies were delicious, thankyou very much, and I don't think 2 carnivores are in a position to judge my vegetarian dishes, you two know jack squat about leafy greens, so I'll thank you to not insult the food I make to keep us 3 alive."
Unlike the constant bickering between Amelia and Vanessa, which consisted mainly of profanities, sarcasm and a completely insignificant disagreement dwarfed by the sheer love of arguing both women seemed to possess, the logic and calm of Charlie's arguments diffused almost all situations.
Vanessa's tail twitched once in annoyance, making a small thump immediately picked up by Amelia's sensitive ears.
"Someone's pissed; What's the matter mom, feeling overthrown?"
3 more thumps, and a tightened jaw muscle confirm Amelia's assumption.
Reaching for a rice cracker weakly with one hand, Amelia manages to make a disappointed sigh last until the cracker is in her mouth, before flicking the hair at the tips of Vanessa's ears, annoyance for the sake of annoyance, and attempting to return to the TV.
"Oh no you don't, get your ass into gear and do the crap you're meant to do today, you've got like 2 papers due Monday."
"Oh great and wise Vanessa the motherly, I appreciate the sentiment, but I'll do them later." Amelia smiles her irritating 'it's all taken care of' smile, sending Vanessa's ears flat, and once more makes a bid for freedom, taking the parkour route over the couch and right back to her controller.
Vanessa wordlessly turns to Charlie.
"5am." She says calmly.
"You're rather mean, I'm thinking 2am." Charlie drolls, listlessly watching Amelia attempt to detour the driving mission in favour of trying to glitch through a wall.
"I thought we've clarified this, Junior."
The 20 dollar note smacks the table and a lone brow rises on the deer's forehead.
"FUCK" Amelia yells, restarting the level once again.
"I know what the fuck I'm talking about."